Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, etc etc etc
warning: incoherency. watch out!
notes: i give a big round of thanks to jana and dacia, my tireless and
loving archivers and friends.
+ Part 26
-The Twenty-fifth Encounter-
January passed, February came. Heero moved out in the beginning of February
to his new apartment to which I helped him move, and I was back to living
like a bachelor in my bachelor pad. That is not to say I didn't miss Heero's
presence there, but I was very relieved to have my place back to myself.
I guess I wasn't really ready to live with anyone, but I take comfort
in the fact that Heero and I made it work reasonably well. Sure, it wasn't
like a well oiled machine or anything, but after our talk, we hadn't had
any major blow outs.
That aside, Heero and I got along wonderfully. We talked whenever we had
the chance, which didn't seem to be too much sometimes, and we were progressing
further and further along on the physical side. I wasn't ready yet for
the full, absolute all out kind of physical intimacy yet, but we were
edging closer to it daily. Not to mention, highly frustrated on the sexual
level, but that's part of the fun. Unless you were my balls, in which
case you cursed me to high heaven and back on a daily basis.
So, it was with our physical relationship moving forward and Heero having
his own place that it hit me. Near that day of monstrous pink, the day
everyone calls Valentine's day, I realized that I had not given Heero
his Christmas present. After the mess of Christmas and the ensuing month
of strange situations, he and I had totally forgotten about the gifts
we had for each other. Oh, I remembered to ship the gift I got for Solo
some time in January only to have it sent back almost immediately, but
I had forgotten Heero's entirely.
You'd think for that month he was living with me, we would have remembered,
but no. The only thing that reminded me that I still had that wrapped
gift in my closet was the fact that I began contemplating what to get
him for Valentine's day.
So my dilemma was this -- do I pass off the Christmas present as
a valentine's day gift so that I could avoid shopping yet again or did
I go through the pains of searching the heavens and earth for yet another
perfectish gift? Gah, as if I did not have enough problems staring at
me in the face.. only now do I realize that there so damn many holidays
that you have to get your loved significant other a gift.
Maybe I could get Heero something for his new apartment, kind of like a
house warming and Valentine's day gift. Apparently, Relena had not relinquished
much of anything when she had kicked Heero out of their apartment. Heero
had about three pots, I think. Maybe a set of sheets that could pass inspection
at the local homeless shelter. It wasn't that he did not like the finer
things in life, it was just that he had problems buying them. My boyfriend
was not a shopper in any sense. I think he hated it more than me which is
However, little things like having an apartment that was so bare that the
walls glared off sunlight like the mirror did not matter to Heero much.
These days, he was just about getting his life back on track and soothing
Milliardo down. Yes, Milliardo had understood the situation between Heero
and Relena and had tried to be understanding, but it was hard for him. How
could a caring older brother be calm and cool when his baby sister called
him up almost once a day to cry over her broken and betrayed heart?
Therefore, it was quite near Valentine's day when Heero and I decided to
have a comprehensive and informative conversation about what the living
hell was going on in our lives. Sure, we were definitely beating a very
dead and decomposing horse with our planned conversation, but so what? Sometimes
it helped to overkill on a topic in order to come to a solution of sorts.
Besides, I had that Christmas gift problem still and I wanted to give it
to him without causing too much of a fuss.
The talk, for some inexplicable reason, was at Heero's place. We had a bottle
of chardonnay, a cheese plate and some good liver pate laid out on the floor
of his very sparse apartment. Why the floor? He had yet to get a coffee
table. Or an end table. Hell, he had no tables. He had no chairs. He had
a bed, which was good for him, and a television set that looked as if it
dated back to the moon landing. Again, I had to wonder how he had managed
to live like this for nearly two weeks without going insane.
"Heero," I said with a mouthful of cheese, "I know you're a big fan of Spartan,
but this is ridiculous. I know people in prisons with more shit than you."
"I thought we were going to discuss how to fix our relationships with people
we cared about, not about my extreme lack of furnishing."
There was a tinge of laughter in his voice, but I couldn't let it go with
good humor. Nobody should live like this.
"Yes, we will do the talk, but Heero, look around. You've been here nearly
two weeks. It's not that much trouble to buy a couch, is it?"
"Oh, I don't know," Heero replied, "after all, I had thought that the couch
I had at my old place was the last couch I was ever going to buy. But Relena
refuses to hand it over."
"Divorces are more civilized," I mumbled unhappily, "and they split stuff
up. Shouldn't you and Relena at least discuss the separation of property?"
"Sure, we should. But it's hard to have a proper discussion about who gets
the couch and the doilies when one of the parties is too busy crying and
I sigh in exasperation. How long did it take to get over someone, really?
"Man, Heero, it has been over a month since she found out. Don't tell me
she's still pissed at you."
"Well," Heero said thoughtfully, "they say it takes half the time you were
with your boyfriend to get over him."
I wave my hand at him to continue, but he just crunches up his eyebrows
"So? How long have you two been.. uh, together?"
"As close as I can determine it, Relena has thought I loved her for.. ten
Ten years? Jesus on a stick, that's longer than most marriages!
"So you're telling me," I say, not keeping the incredulity out of my voice,
"Relena won't be rational about you for five years?"
"As nearly as my mathematical skills tell me, yes."
Huh. That's just so absurd that I don't know what to say. I mean, sure,
getting over someone is hard, but really, was it that hard? Then I think
to myself, how long would it take me to get over Heero if we ever did break
up? How long would it take me to stop loving him? After all, I've only been
with him for a few months now and we hadn't even had sex. According to his
math, I should get over him in about four months or so, but would I really
get over him in that time if we broke up right now?
"Doesn't seem so unreasonable, does it?" Heero says to me, his eyes lit
with an understanding. He gets it. He understands why Relena is the way
she is, why getting his things from her aren't so critical. After all, he
still cares about her and feels truly bad about the whole situation.
"Poor girl," I say, really feeling for her, "you are pretty hard to forget,
"I'm glad to know."
We share a small laugh and munch on more cheese. I suppose we are talking
about what is wrong with the people in our lives. Or rather, what went wrong
"So, Heero, how long does it take a brother to get over his little brother's
sexual orientation switch?"
"I wish I knew," he replies in all earnestness, "but there does not seem
to be a math for that. I'm sorry Solo is still upset with you."
I shrug. I suppose I can't help it, you know? Solo feels the way he feels.
I feel the way I feel. The only thing we can do is meet half way, but neither
of us really knows the road or the direction. My brother and I.. the way
we feel about the current situation isn't even on the same map.
"Hey, it's not as bad as Relena hating your guts. You lost her and your
relationship with Milliardo is strained. It can't be easy on you."
Really, there isn't much to say after that. Sure, we wanted to have a deep
talk about our problems, but the problems themselves aren't really that
complicated. They are simple and therein lay our greatest obstacle. Simple
problems were usually the hardest to solve.
"So," Heero says suddenly, "I thought we should have a romantic Valentine's
If he wants to change the subject, who am I to argue?
"We should," I say, "and who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky."
I smile slyly at Heero, sending a much used seductive leer at his direction.
My seductive leer looks somewhat like this: my violet eyes become a deep
shade of purple, half hidden by my heavy lids, my lips quirk in a half grin
that invites a kiss and my head tilts at a slight angle to show off my neck.
Girls used to go nuts over the leer when I used it on them and I used to
get a surge of sexual power. When used on Heero.. I get a sharp and penetrating
sense of desire, hunger and raw energy. Why? Because he looks at me as if
I was the only person on earth, as if he wanted to sink his teeth into me.
"Lucky," he whispers huskily, edging closer to me, "would be good."
I'm still looking at him with seduction written all over my face, but it's
no longer the practiced look I used in flirting. No, now it is a genuine
one and it is reflected on Heero's face as well.
Here we are, sitting on the hard wood floor of Heero's bare apartment with
a snack tray between us, staring at each other with a lazy, fiery seduction
lighting our eyes. I don't even know what is keeping us from jumping on
each other, except that..
Anticipation. That moment before the act of desire. That electric sliver
of time filled with intense longing, hot fires of passion. The breathless
wait just before the contact, the thudding of hearts in syncopated rhythm..
When our lips do touch, it's an explosion. An overflow of lust and love,
mingled with a need so desperate that it transcends mere touching and kissing.
For a while, we forget about Relena, about Solo, about gifts and Valentine's
and everything else. We forget that there is no furniture, that there are
no curtains. We only know what our lips feel, our fingers explore.
For a long, long while.. there is just Heero, me, and our desire.
It's rather too bad that it does not end with naked bodies and sweaty pumping
bodies. But then again.. maybe it's that anticipation thing.
What it does end with is two extremely excited men trying to catch their
breaths on the cold, hard floor. I notice that I am without a shirt and
Heero has somehow managed to get his sweater caught around his throat.
"I think I'm going to have some serious groin pains."
Heero laughs throatily and licks my collarbone. I can't help the moan
-- hell, I'm so aroused right now that it's a wonder that the little
Duo who is not so little, by the way, isn't jumping out of my pants.
"You should just let go of your issues and sleep with me."
So says Heero and I have heard worse suggestions. But I'm not ready yet.
Honestly, you'd think if I'm this turned on and my body is reacting this
violently to his touch, I'd be crazy stupid not to jump into the sac with
"I should, and I definitely will," I say, running my hands up and down
his bare torso, "but not tonight. I swear, I'm not trying to be a tease.
I hate that."
Heero buries his head in my throat and laughs. His laughter rumbles against
my throat and sends a pleasantly warm tingling down my stomach to my already
rock solid erection. I don't mind, not really. It's a good feeling, if
you like pain alongside your pleasure.
"I know you aren't a tease," he says as he rocks his hips against mine,
"but I can't help but suggest every now and then that we just.. fuck each
"Oh, we will. I will definitely make your IQ drop to the levels of the
local politicians one day. But I'm not quite ready to face the fact that
you only have one place I can go."
He laughs some more than levers himself off my and sits a bit away. That
is a wise move, of course. Had he stayed on top of me, who knows what
the hell I would have done?
"I can wait."
"Thanks, Heero. So, you want your Christmas present?"
Well, that came out of nowhere, but I needed to say something to keep
my hands off him, right?
"Christmas?" he replies with a tilted eyebrow, "wasn't that a while back
ago? You know, when everything went to hell?"
"Yep," I say with aplomb, "but you see, I never gave you your gift. I
spent days agonizing over it and you never even got it. Bummer, right?"
"I never gave you your gift either, did I?" He says with sudden understanding.
"Nope. So you want it or should I just turn it into your V-day gift?"
"You wouldn't cheat me like that, would you?" Heero asks with mock hurt
in his voice which sends me laughing.
"Sure I would! I'm an attorney, aren't I?"
We share a good laugh and wait for our desires to lessen. We take the
time to rearrange our clothing and settle into the comfortable feeling
before talking to each other again. It is getting harder and harder to
deny myself and Heero the extreme pleasure of sexual gratification, but
I'd rather not regret it by doing it too soon. After all, Heero isn't
someone I'm going to leave in the bed in the middle of the night. He's
special, don't you know?
I wander over to my jacket after our desires abate somewhat, fishing out
the nicely wrapped gift out of the pocket while Heero retrieves something
from his bedroom. When we are seated on the floor from across each other
once more, I hand him his belated gift and he hands me mine. With a wonder
that I haven't had for opening gifts since I was a child, I unwrap the
blue and silver foil off the box and discover..
An anime DVD I had not had a chance to buy. My eyes light up and my lips
tilt in a maddening grin. I had only mentioned this title in passing,
very casually, only once long in the past. He had remembered. Damn, he's
For his part, Heero carefully undid the gold trimmed wrapping on his gift
to fish out a small, crystal figurine. He holds it in his hand and turns
it every which way, letting the light refract off it in rainbows.
"It's a bird." I say, my voice suddenly a bit nervous when he says nothing.
"It's a hawk in flight, the lady said. You know, how the wings are spread
and all that."
I babble on and on about the quality of the crystal, the workmanship some
overpaid Swiss guy put into it, the exquisite detail of the wingspan..
You get the picture. I'm stopped in the middle of my rambling by Heero's
lips suddenly on mine, sucking out my breath and thought.
"You.." Heero says quietly after he's done kissing me breathless, "you
Yeah, there's a story there. Once, before I even acknowledged that I liked
Heero, during that fateful trial, we had had that single talk. You know,
while I was prepping him for the witness stand. He had said, somewhere
between clinical analysis, that if there was one thing he really wanted
in life was to fly free. Like a hawk in flight.
So there it is. We both remember little things about each other. Things
so damned trivial and little, yet.. they mean so much. Put in that light,
the problems with Relena and Solo.. they aren't so grandiose. They aren't
so hard to overcome or fix. Because if it is so easy for us to remember
and do the little things right, it can't be that hard to do the big things.
That's the logic, right?
[part 27] [back to 0083's