Author: Asuka Kureru
Warnings: Yaoi, romance, sap, love triangle, some lime; POV is shifting between the boys but it's mostly Wufei, dunno why ^_^
Couples: 1x2x1, 1+2+1, 5+2+5, 1+5+1, 1+2+5
Disclaimer: They're sharing, why can't we do the same? ;__;
Current music: Type O Negative, "My Girlfriend's Girlfriend" ^__~

Equilibrium

You could hear toads croaking feebly outside of the old house, on the half-dry pond's bank in the backyard. A few crickets made themselves known, some owl calls, far away in the woods. The planks of the corridor on the first floor creaked softly under the young man's feet and he briefly froze to reorient himself before beginning to walk cautiously again, one hand on the corridor's wall to guide his steps in the unfamiliar darkness. He hoped that refreshing himself by splashing some cold water on his face would help him fall asleep; it was past three AM already and he couldn't close one eye. He didn't know if it was the strange house, the noises in the woods or the bed with its too fluffy feather mattress, but...

No, in fact, he knew what was truly keeping him awake. It was his worry for one of his comrades, in a dangerous mission far from them, in a place where they couldn't assist him if ever he needed it, along with the choking silence of this shack lost in the woods where two boys were finding themselves all alone, isolated from everything, with an unease between them, and nothing, especially not the familiar and friendly presence of their comrade, to act as a buffer, to laugh at their silences, to calm their discord, to mediate their competitions, to soothe their nervousness in front of the only person against which they could take the true measure of themselves. The only person they resembled so much as to understand well, and yet not closely enough to admit an eventual superiority.

Well, that was Wufei's personal point of view. That he was like Heero, or that Heero was like him. But Heero was too gifted, too powerful, too fast, too entirely devoted to his mission, for Wufei not to feel pushed to compete, to prove that he was better than this soldier so wholly committed to the cause, to prove that he was still the most intelligent, the strongest, the most dangerous, like he had always been, ever since childhood. Heero was the only one among all his challengers who could pretend, not only to get to his level, but also to overtake him, and Wufei couldn't tolerate it easily. It was too bad... since what made Heero a frightening adversary also made him one of the very few persons he could relate to and respect.

Since Duo had left for his mission, silence had fallen between them. They had ceased cooking and eating together and spending time in the same room just to watch TV beside somebody. They had nearly stopped nodding a greeting to the other in the morning. And it was even worse than living alone, because they could still catch glimpses of the other passing like a phantom, present, acting, but without any effect on their personal life.

And Wufei didn't have anyone to talk with, whom to confide in with his concerns, his thoughts, his interrogations, his worries for their comrade. So, his worry accumulated and poisoned him, like a wound that can't heal because it isn't cleaned.

But Heero was not the sort of person you could confide in, and even if he had been, he would have been the last person to whom the Chinese boy would have admitted that he was so concerned about the braided American's fate. Because what kind of moron goes and admits his worry for his crush to the official boyfriend of said crush?

Heero's bedroom door was half-opened, the room he would share with Duo when he got back, and a ray of feeble light, hardly perceptible, streamed through it, streaking the darkness of the corridor. Leaning against the doorframe, Wufei glanced inside by reflex, and at the beginning didn't see anything other than a few rays of moonlight seeping through the slits in the shutters, streaking the dark room and half of the high and fluffy bed just under the steep roof. The attic window actually opened just above the bed; to get out of the room, there wasn't even any need to put one foot on the floor. But one half of the bed was in shadows deeper than the rest of the room, darker than the corridor.

And there, two blue eyes glistened, looking at him.

Stiffening, the Chinese went to leave, closing the door behind him, ashamed of having been caught spying on a comrade's room when he was supposed to be asleep.

"Leave it open," came the whisper. "I want to hear him when he comes back."

The admittance had been made in such a feeble whisper that if Wufei had not had a superior sense of hearing, he wouldn't have heard.

He reopened the door, leaving it half-open, meditating on the fact that his great rival had admitted waiting for the sound of his lover's steps, awake, alone in his bed. If he had needed proof to rest assured that Duo's feelings toward him were reciprocated, he couldn't have asked for a better one.

It was hard, to know that the boy he was in love with was with his rival; very hard. But he refused to treat Duo's heart like a trophy. If he was happy being with Yuy, well... so be it. He would support them, protect them, would do anything as long as Duo could be happy with Heero. The only thing he was wary of, because it was the only thing he hadn't any control over, and the thing that could hurt Duo the worst, was what Heero felt back. Because, with his usual behavior, it was impossible to know what Duo was for him: The man of his life? A flirt? A warm body to satisfy his adolescent needs?

But Heero stayed awake to wait for him by night, when he was supposed to be asleep.

He stepped back, began to continue his journey to the antique bathroom.

"Wufei, wait."

He heard a rustling of sheets, saw a dark shape vaguely move in the black hole under the roof. Heero must be sitting up now.

"You calculated the probabilities, with the new information?"

He didn't have to ask probabilities of what. Probabilities of success of the mission, of course. They both knew that nothing else truly mattered.

"I did it," answered Wufei while stepping forward in the room, whispering without really knowing why. "Not you?"

There was a vaguely annoyed sigh, and a shape that was probably an arm bent, then a noise of hair raked in nervousness permeated the darkness.

"Yes, of course. I just wanted... " ...'to be reassured', heard Wufei. "... to know your opinion."

Wufei realized that he had been totally mistaken on the Japanese boy's coldness. It was only an act, a façade. Heero was truly worried for Duo. Enough to open up to Wufei, between all the people they knew. Madly in love; no other causes possible.

"He's going to make it," said the Chinese boy suddenly, without really knowing why he was trying to reassure his rival. He could accept his place at the side of the man he loved, it didn't mean that he had to... but with that, is was even more perceptible, this similitude between the two of them, even in their feelings. "He is strong, he is intelligent, he is creative. I never met someone as resourceful as he is. If anyone can pull this mission off it's him, it's why he received it. I am very honored to have him as a teammate. He will make it."

Heero let himself fall back on the mattress, and sighed a long sigh.

"I know... I didn't mean that he isn't good enough for the task, just...I worry," he finished in a very low voice, slightly ashamed. "I don't mean to say that he's not worthy, but... accidents do not get foreseen. And if...?"

"Yuy... Maxwell has the Devil's own luck. He'll be back soon."

His throat tightened, and Wufei stopped speaking. What was he doing? Trying to comfort his rival by repeating a thing that his own worried heart had trouble convincing itself? If he didn't believe it, why would Yuy believe? Especially since he had to have said and repeated the same thing himself... not that it worked, if you believed appearances.

"Yes..."

Wufei heard it in the voice of his concurrent, this incertitude, this doubt, this need to be convinced, the same feelings as his own.

Silently, he turned an about face. He didn't know what to say. And this situation was really too strange, alone in the dark, standing in the middle of a room, with Yuy laying down in his bed only a few steps away.

"No, wait."

"What?"

"... I know that you worry too."

He froze more absolutely than if he had become stone. His heart jumped. Had he divulged his feelings to the partner of the one he was in love with? Did Heero know... Did he know?

"Come here..." softly called the Japanese boy's muffled voice, and an arm rose motioning him to come nearer. He obeyed without even realizing that he had the possibility to do otherwise, stopped hardly two steps from the bed.

"Thanks... For trying to help me I mean."

Yuy's voice sounded embarrassed, slightly sulky, but sincere. He felt incredibly embarrassed, more than from the statement itself. He shrugged.

"Let's not talk about this."

Yuy let out a short laugh.

"Duo trains me to act more humanly," he admitted all at once. "He tells me that I should... speak more about what I feel. That nobody's going to look at me strangely for that. So I try. I want to be able to open up for him. I hope it doesn't bother you... that I test on you I mean. But the fact is that it's kind of my personal mission to talk about things like that."

Wufei was stupefied, astonished. He laughed a little, more because of the surprise than because it was truly funny.

"He trains you to act more humanly?" he asked in a slightly warmer tone.

Heero tapped the bed beside him, and in his totally disoriented state, Wufei didn't understand right away what was expected of him.

Realization hitting him, he sat gingerly, hesitant, under the impression that he had been sucked into the fourth dimension.

"Yes..." admitted Heero in a lower tone, nearly imperceptible. "Because it hurts him when I withdraw. And I train him to think before he speaks, because sometimes he hurts people without meaning to. It's worth it, I think," he added in a meditative voice.

Wufei nodded pensively, forgetting that Heero couldn't see him that well. It was true, he had noticed that Duo had changed since he was with Heero, that he had become calmer, less manic, less overexcited. More in peace with himself.

It was a relationship exceptionally balanced and healthy, especially at their age and in such circumstances.

"It's true... You're good for one another," he added offhandedly, gulping down in silence the knot in his throat.

Heero didn't answer, just briefly rested his hand on the black-haired boy's shoulder. Wufei kept himself from starting, wondering if the other had felt his shoulder tense.

"It isn't easy sometimes," Heero admitted, thoughtful. "Sometimes, it's like weíre strangers. I don't always understand, like when he complains that his hair is knotting, he wants me to brush it out for him, he doesn't understand that when I go to work on Wing, I want to be alone a little, to think. He thinks I don't love him anymore."

"He's affectionate, thatís for sure," agreed Wufei.

It was so bizarre, nearly surreal, to be collecting Yuy's confessions on his relationship with Duo... But on the other hand, the darkness made it easier. And for once, they were in harmony, not in opposition.

"I just need a little space... Because Iím unaccustomed to not being alone. Iím lucky that you are here to talk with him, or play chess, or whatever it is you do together. Sometimes I just can't."

The black-haired boy shrugged, refusing to accept the indirect approval on the companionship he offered. If he had listened to his jealous side, he would probably have given a biting retort on his total disinterest about Yuy's approval on his friendship with Duo, but he knew he didn't have the right. And for once...just once...he didn't want to have a fight with him.

"He needs to be reassured of the existence of your... link. He interprets your need of solitude as a rejection of him. He just needs a little confidence in the strength of your relationship; it hasn't been that long after all. After a while, when he sees that you're still there, his needs of fusion will calm down..."

There was a short bout of silence.

Wufei wondered what the hell was going on with him. He was playing matrimonial counselor with his man's man.

"You know him well."

Heero's voice was neutral, a simple observation.

Wufei grunted an answer, mortified. Even if Heero was twice as hopeless with human relationships as he gave off the impression of being, and Wufei now knew that it was just that, an impression, he would have to be hit by an attack of selective amnesia and the sudden debility not to suspect the depth of Wufei's feelings toward his comrade, after this tirade.

"You know, it's annoying to talk to someone standing up when you're laying down," calmly remarked Heero.

Wufei lied down at the edge of the mattress, his back straight as a board, then cursed himself. He could have taken the sentence as an opening to take his leave, but now that he was in place, it was too late.

Heero threw the cover over him, including him in the soft warmth of his nest. Wufei turned his head toward him, his eyes wide open.

"You worry a lot too, huh?" whispered the Japanese boy.

The black-eyed boy bit his lip and didn't answer.

The mattress moved, a presence approached him, not quite close enough to really touch, but just enough for him to feel the warmth along his flank. An arm draped itself around his torso.

"Do you miss him too?" murmured the boy, his warm breath caressing his cheek and ear.

Wufei gulped and blinked a few times. It stung, and he didn't understand why. He was suddenly under the impression that he was going to cry.

"Yes..." he admitted, closing his eyes, letting himself go with the sensation of warmth from the covers, the weight on his chest, the presence at his side, in this cocoon of comfort and darkness.

+

He was warm, nearly hot, and was surrounded from all sides with soft and supple things, the mattress much more slack that he was used to, the feather comforter snugly molded to his body. A source of nearly burning warmth was at his back, but it didn't suffocate him, quite the contrary, he found it very comfortable and comforting.

But it was far from being as supple as the rest of his surroundings.

Especially this ardent rigidity, very localized, that he felt pressed against his lower back.

"Hmmm..."

The sleepy moan woke him fully, dragging him back to the present, out of his still half-asleep state. The memory of the astonishing meeting from the day before came back to him, and he realized, looking at the steep moonlight-striped ceiling, that he was still in the bedroom under the roof.

In Duo and Heero's bed.

And Heero was molded against his back, and...

...moving.

To be more precise, he was pressing nearer to Wufei, tightening his arms around him to draw him against his chest, pressing his hips against Wufeiís buttocks.

Horrified, Wufei realized that the blue-eyed boy had the beginnings of an erection.

"Hmmph..."

His heart jumped when Yuy's breathing lifted the hairs on his nape and caressed his skin. When he felt his face hide in his shining black locks, freed, he didn't know when, from his ponytail. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth. His forehead was covered with sweat, as if suddenly, all the temperature that hadn't affected him before, had decided to act all at once.

"Yuy...?" he murmured.

No answer; as he thought, the other boy was probably still asleep.

He slid one of his arms along the one Yuy had around his waist and closed his hand on its wrist to try to disengage himself gently. Yet the arm refused to move, on the contrary it closed a little more firmly, sliding a little farther around him. He felt the boy's fingertips slip onto a patch of skin that his slightly rolled up t-shirt revealed, caressing his stomach light as a butterfly's wings. Wufei's eyes shot wide open and his muscles contracted.

After a second of stillness, Heero's hand slowly advanced again on his belly, slipping further under the T-shirt. He felt a shock run through his body when his comrade's rough palm pressed lightly against his abdomen, caressing.

Searching through his hair, Yuy nuzzled against his nape, like a cat. Wufei felt lips brush against his earlobe and turned his head away, burying his burning face into the pillow.

As a knee pressed against the back of his thighs, trying to clear a passage between them, Wufei shouted a surprised, wordless exclamation, luckily muffled by the pillow, "Mmpff!" His leg muscles clenched involuntarily with violence, and Heero answered with a slow push against his butt and a sigh of sleepy pleasure. His erection was definitely getting easier to feel.


[cont]