Equilibrium (cont)

And if one day Wufei could see what Duo saw in Heero, the messy-haired boy would be very content. It would be much easier to manage if he could have Duo with him without having to chase Wufei off, and if he didn't have to exile himself when it would be Wufei's turn to have some time with their common lover. To have to count hours and decide in advance the days of the week they could have the braided boy for themselves seemed doomed to failure on a long term.

"Will you move from there someday? You aren't precisely a lightweight, Yuy," Wufei grunted rudely, pushing against his shoulder, stopping his deep thoughts. Heero answered by stopping to prop himself up on his arms and letting all of his weight fall on his comrade's torso.

Wufei was captive in a cocoon of covers and a soft mattress which let him sink into its depths, and a muscled body was pressing on him... the boy just had the time to wonder if he really wanted Heero to move, before he felt Heeroís face brush against his own cheek, then against his throat. He bit his lips, undecided, but his traitorous body decided for him.

When Heero saw the other's throat offered to him, he didn't lose time taking advantage of the invitation.

Strong arms circled his shoulders, and Heero bit the earlobe within his reach, groaning. Wufei rubbed his cheek against his, pressed his face where the Japanese's neck met his shoulder, and began to give back the little kisses bestowed upon his jaw. In a few minutes, they were devouring each other's mouths, their hands traveling, learning each otherís bodies.

The covers had been kicked off the bed a long time ago.

Caressing sharply, brusquely, kissing with fervor, biting, fiercely hugging, strongly pushing his body against the other's body... Wufei felt marvelously good. That was what he liked in other males, this strength equal to his own, this burning passion, which in women was too often only submissive warmth...

And then a thought hit him, like a splash of ice-cold water. Throwing his head back to escape the fierce kiss he had been sharing with his rival, his love's love, he put both his hands on his torso and pushed him back firmly.

"Wait!! Stop, Heero!"

Understanding from the tone of voice that Wufei wasn't playing anymore, Heero moved away, panting, rolled on his side to free the boy from his weight. He leaned on an elbow and turned to Wufei with a surprised and uneasy look. Had the Chinese decided that he couldn't tolerate Heero this way, finally? He hoped not, because he had discovered that he himself was entirely able to find his comrade attractive, even when he was in love with another. And it would definitely be easier to share Duo with Wufei if he had the right to share Wufei too.

Still lying down on his back where he had left him, Wufei was staring at him, his skin flushed, glistening with sweat, ebony locks glued to his bronze-colored skin. His eyes were even darker than was usual, fascinating black wells, bottomless, and Heero caught himself leaning imperceptibly toward them. He briefly shook his head to chase off this wave of desire, it was not the moment anymore. Wufei had, as was his right, said no... No sharing this side too.

"Wait, Heero," repeated Wufei, breathless.

The Japanese teen felt a slight satisfaction when he received confirmation that he was capable of affecting the Chinese teenager this way, but, he knew that, it wasn't enough to make the other boy change his mind.

"We cannot... Not without having talked to Duo first. Otherwise..."

Heero blinked.

"I don't know if you understand what I mean... I mean... Duo doesn't know that we agreed to... share him, and maybe he won't want to share either of us, not even with one another... so..."

"But you want me?" asked Heero for confirmation. "Youíre ok for trying it?"

A dash of color was added to the already pinkish hue of the other boy's skin and he briefly turned his eyes away.

"You are someone that I can respect... That I respect already. And it is useless to hide that you are also someone that can attract me in a sexual way. So... We can always try, as long as you swear to me that it won't change anything as for our behavior toward Duo and our sharing," answered Chang in a very reasonable voice, trying to take refuge in logic to forget a little his embarrassment about talking of such an intimate thing with Yuy.

Heero had a little smile on his face, and Wufei froze. It was a very small smile, nothing to do with the cheeks-tearing, mischievous grins of the American, or the thousand-watt happy smiles from Quatre.

It was like the first crescent of sun above the horizon by early morning, that which changes the tern gray-blue clouds into burning pink and gold explosions.

Independently from his will, his hand raised and went to caress his comrade's cheek, softly. He saw with rapt interest surprise pass fast in the blue eyes darkened with desire, followed by a sort of satisfaction, or of pleasure maybe. Yuy half-closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against his hand, like a cat.

Wufei let his hand fall back slowly and continued to stare with fascination at the boy bent over him who was caressing him with his eyes. He shared with him a look, a situation of an intimacy so new, a sudden tenderness, enough to make his heart beat faster than his previous caresses.

"I swear it to you."

Wufei needed quite a few long seconds to remember his previous question. Ah yes, that it wouldn't change a thing as to Duo. Then he blinked and nodded, and the smile on Yuy's lips disappeared slowly, even as it stayed in his eyes. Wufei could have lost himself in them. He certainly didn't resent Maxwell for having jumped on the chance of being with Heero, he could see the attraction himself! It was... Usually, all his face was made of ice, including his eyes. But when he let his feelings shine through, it was like seeing a magnificent marble statue come to life. Magical.

He felt so honored that Yuy would let him have glimpses of his deepest feelings.

"For the moment, as long as he hasn't been warned..." he continued not to let himself derive too far into the sudden sentimentalism, in the soft warmth their sudden emotional intimacy made him feel. He shook his head. He had to prevent it from invading him, it was too much. "As long as he hasn't been told... It's nothing more than his lover betraying him with his best friend," he added with a touch of brusqueness.

Heero nodded slowly, pensive.

"Too bad... " he murmured, caressing with a knuckle Wufei's uncovered belly. "But you are right."

Wufei felt his muscles tense involuntarily under the caress, proving to Yuy that he truly had an effect on him that the Chinese was unable to control. But, to his immense gratitude, Heero didn't even seem to notice. Wufei would have badly stood a remark, or even a knowing smile; now that he thought about it, he felt pretty annoyed that a person other than the man he was in love with could put him in such a state.

Heero fell back on the mattress, bending his arm under his head, and huddled nearer to Wufei, to the point where they both were carried away in the only dip their bodies made in the mattress, and put his head on Wufeiís shoulder, winding one arm around his torso.

"Later?" he whispered. His breath caressed his comrade's neck, and Wufei shivered, biting his lips.

"Definitely, Yuy," he shot back in a dry and ironic voice. Even just his warm breath was enough to electrify his skin.

Heero let out a low laugh and wormed his way nearer.

"With Duo in the middle?"

"YUY!! Sleep, now!" shouted Wufei who felt suddenly very bothered by the mental picture Heero had transmitted to him.

"Hai, Chang-sama" the boy deadpanned.

There was a few seconds of silence and the two Asian teens closed their eyes.

"Indubitably. Duo-sandwich... yum," whispered Wufei.

"Chang, sleep, now," answered Yuy, mimicking his previous answer.

Disengaging the arm which was wedged along his flank between himself and Heero, Wufei raised it then passed it under the Japanese boy's head, authorizing him to approach even closer, and briefly squeezed his shoulders before letting himself slide once more in sleep.


The creaking of the door's rusty hinges woke him up. Wufei opened an eye, and then closed it again. There was too much light. Morning already?

But what was it that had woken him up? Ah yes, the door. Sleepily, he turned around toward it, vaguely curious.

Duo was standing in the doorway, a few bruises on his face but seemingly in good health, if a little tired. Still half asleep, the Chinese gave him a relieved little smile...

And everything fell on him at once. The hurt and incredulous, betrayed look from the American, and Heero's warm body snuggled against his back, one arm pressed against his bare torso. He opened his eyes wide, totally awake, when he saw his comrade's mauves irises troubled by slowly welling tears.

He opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

Duo bit his lip and, lowering his eyes, slowly picked up the backpack he had let fall at his feet.

He didn't know what hurt more, Heero or Wufei.

"Hey, you've arrived just at the right moment!"

Duo and Wufei both started, taken by surprise by this seemingly very incongruous declaration in the heavy and somewhat sad atmosphere. Heero had just straightened up on an elbow and was looking at the American, a little relieved smile playing on his face. The braided boy's jaw faintly fell down, and he forgot that he had been intending to leave, his eyes glued on the open and nearly warm expression on his boyfriend's face.

He didn't know if he was supposed to be jealous that this sight be offered to Wufei when it had been, until now, reserved for his eyes alone, or happy that Heero had evolved enough to succeed in letting his feelings escape from behind his stony mask when they weren't in the most complete intimacy.

"We were worried, Fei and me... Are you ok?"

"I... Yes..."

Flabbergasted, Duo blinked a few times, to hold back the tears, at least for the time he needed to understand. Heero's behavior left him totally stupefied. It was definitely not the behavior of someone caught cheating on his official lover. No, it was as loving and honest as during their most intimate moments... an expression he had needed months to show before stopping to hide it from Duo, that he never, ever showed in someone else's presence.

"You seem tired... come?" continued the Japanese, reaching out to Duo, over the Chinese teenager's torso.

The backpack's strap slid from his fingers, and Wufei caught himself praying that he would stay, that he would agree to listen. If he broke them up, all would be finished. He couldn't stay with Yuy as a couple or even just like comrades. He respected him immensely and felt for him a sort of surly affection, but they could never tolerate each other without Duo to act as a buffer. He could never try to comfort Duo, their friendship would be definitely blown; as for asking him to be his own boyfriend after being the cause of his and Heero's separation, better not to dream. And even if Heero and Duo stayed together, there would always be this stain on their relationship, which, until then, was so admirable, so enviable.

"... come?" repeated Duo in a little, incredulous voice.

"We talked, Wufei and me, while you were gone..." answered Yuy in a lower tone, nearly intimate. "You know, he loves you too..."

Duo started, his eyes flew wide open, and his cheeks turned beet red.

"You told him? You're mad, Yuy!! I didn't want... I mean, I didn't want..." His voice went out, and he stared at the Chinese, who, eyes resolutely lowered, was standing up, gently pushing back the muscled arm still around his torso.

Reaching after him in the bed, Heero tried to hold him back, but the black-eyed pilot freed himself without looking at him and stepped away from the bed, his head low.

"... Wu?"

"Damn it, Duo, I thought I had taught you to think before you speak!" growled Heero while sitting on the edge of the bed, only covered with a sheet. The American grimaced when he realized that he had deeply hurt his best friend.

Heero had not lied...

... not that he ever did anyway, definitely not on questions of sentiments, not with something that important. Duo mentally called himself names. In spite of what could have happened, what seemed to have happened, he would never hate the Chinese boy enough to want to hurt him deliberately... and that's what he had just done.

Heero hadn't lied. Wufei... loved him. Too. What did it mean? What had happened between the two Asian teens? They had talked, yes, but... slept in the same bed? But it couldn't be that they had cheated on him, Heero would never have welcomed him like that, with a soft smile and an invitation... So... No, decidedly, things were not at all what they seemed at first glance. He couldn't assume things, he would have to ask...

And he would have to manage the black-haired boy's sensibility. He had hurt him once, he didn't want to hurt him again.

"Wufei?" Duo called softly, but the boy didn't lift his eyes, and tried to walk around him in silence to get out of the room. Duo refused to move.

"I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore, that it would change things..." admitted the braided boy in a whisper, lowering his eyes too. "But I... If Heero told you that I was... am... In love with you... Itís true. Entirely true."

Wufei looked up from the floor. Duo was torturing the end of his plait between his fingers, and his shoulders were lowered. He could imagine his ashamed expression without having to look at him.

Duo was making an effort to reopen the dialogue, even if he totally had the right to refuse to ever speak to him again. Wufei couldn't refuse to answer. Slowly, he looked up into his friend's face and met his eyes, forbidding himself from acting like a coward.

The other boy's violet eyes were fixed on him, glistening with a suspect moistness, pleading.

"What happened with Heero tonight, Wufei? Please, Iím not accusing you of anything, I just need to know. I trust you both, please tell me Iím not wrong... Please..."

Wufei bit his lip and turned his eyes away, staring at the wall. It felt good to hear Duo say that he trusted them, even faced with such overwhelming evidence that he shouldn't, but did he really believe them? Now that he thought of it, Wufei felt worse and worse about what had happened. For after all, he had well and truly done with Yuy things that he should have never authorized when his lover had not given his permission. This, nothing could change it.

He heard the other boy get up from the bed and step forward on the floor, feet bare, felt his presence near him, a welcome support. No, they hadn't intended to hurt Duo in any way, to betray him in whichever way. He had been convinced of that yesterday, Heero too. It was the intention that counted after all...right...?

"We talked... He told me he knew that I was in love with you, that you... loved me too, that... it didn't bother him to share you, if it made you happy... as long as I wasn't bothered either... and I accepted. We didn't betray you," he insisted with vehemence, trying to convince himself. "I know what it looked like, Duo, but... He had told me that you were sad to have to renounce me to have him, that you would be happy to have us both... He only wanted to please you, you shouldn't resent him. If he was wrong, I am sorry, I believed it too, it's my fault as much as his... to have believed that you..."

He took in a deep breath; his hands were shaking, and he had more and more trouble breathing without actually concentrating on it.

Duo was still silent.

"I'm sorry... I'll let you alone... I just... just wanted one chance..."

His throat tightened and he found himself unable to articulate one more syllable. He lowered his head once again and tried to step around Duo, who was still silent.

A slim and nervous body pressed against his torso and laced its arms around his neck before hiding its face against the hollow under his chin, caressing his cheeks with its long hair. Then two seconds later, a torso flattened against his back, a strong arm slid across his belly while the other, brushing against his hip, went to press a large and callused hand at the small of the braided American's back, pressing the three of them even more tightly together.

"You really proposed that by yourself, Heero?" asked Duo over Wufei's shoulder.

Prisoner between them, Wufei felt him shrug against his back, and caught himself being able to imagine to perfection his expression.

"It's what you said to me, right? That love can be shared but still not diminish? It was just a logical solution... I love you, he loves you, you love us, we respect each other enough to try..."

Duo chocked out a small laugh, still shaking from all those violent emotions, and pressed his cheek against Wufei's collarbone with a shaky sigh. One of his hands left the Chinese's nape to go play in the short-haired boy's hair, who inclined his head to press his cheek against his palm, like a cat under a caress.

"I think I had been wrong, you know, Heero... I told you a very silly thing."

"How is that?"

Here, Wufei knew that Heero was frowning, and his nose would be just slightly creased, because it wasn't really his you're-gonna-get-it scowl, but his whazzit-he's-saying?-me-no-understand frown, a rather common subspecies of his panoply of expressions Duo-is-in-the-vicinity.

"To have risked that for me... I don't love you as much ... I love you more..." answered Duo with a laugh made shaky by the tears in his voice. Not quite knowing what to do, Wufei closed his arms around him, closing his eyes. He felt Heero tighten his embrace, as unable as he was to give a name to the wave of emotions threatening to collapse on them.

They stayed like that for a long time, and then one of them, they didn't know which one, it seemed more like a collective decision after all, began to direct them to the bed waiting under the steep roof.

There would have only been two places usually, two little places, but no one really wanted to release his hold on the others. They huddled together under the sheets like children, tangled into each other, a pile of tired kittens, and, in only a few minutes only, exhausted by the emotional storm they had undergone, they were asleep.

~ Owari

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