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Garou
+ Part 6 (cont)
Revelations
* * *
"Can I ask you some questions? " Wufei leaned toward the blue-eyed
boy. Heero hesitated and nodded.
"You can SMELL that Quatre's scared of you?"
"My five senses have been...Augmented. More than largely" he
added, looking away.
It made him feel ill at ease to talk about that... he didn't know if he
really had accepted the truth so fast, or if it was just the shock not
having left yet. And all these things he knew about himself without having
to think twice...
"To which point?" Chang demanded when he saw that Heero wasn't
going to continue alone.
"I can read easily in the dark, I have five times better ears and
as for my sense of smell, in comparison, if it had been sight, before
I was blind as a bat."
"So, there aren't only inconveniences then..." Duo smiled, playing
nervously with his braid's end. "There are good points in it too..."
He had had two days to get used to the idea, but he had never had the
courage to catch the psychotic pilot to ask him to feed his curiosity.
Heero was already hard to manage usually, but as he had seen, the virus
was playing havoc with his self-control, it was better to let him the
hell alone...
But Wufei didn't seem to think so.
"And the inconveniences?"
Heero gritted his teeth, but forced himself to answer.
"Sometimes, I am in... In overdose of sensations. There are too many
all at the same time, and I don't know yet how to pick what I should pay
attention to and what I shouldn't. Furthermore, emotional instability,
stronger with the full moon, augmented aggressive reactions, and ... unnecessary
impulses.
"How?"
"Intense sexual needs?"
Heero didn't even give Duo one glance.
"I'll make a complete report when all of our group is together. For
the moment I don't want to repeat myself uselessly."
Heero turned heels and marched out of the house.
"The group...? First time he ever acknowledges the existence of a
connection of any sort between us... Usually he acts like if he was at
the same place as we are by pure hazard... Or because he was ordered so..."
Wufei only nodded in answer, surprised to see that Maxwell's analysis
was hitting so close to home.
* * * * * *
Four hours later, once Trowa came back from Quatre's room after making
sure that the boy wouldn't wake up, and Heero back from his trek in the
woods (with his feet dirty and his tanktop damp), the promised reunion
finally took place.
Wufei attacked first.
"I won't ask you when you were... changed, this at least is obvious
from Maxwell's report. Since when did you know what was happening?"
Heero glared at him, still feeling annoyed with him, but remembered that
he had himself accepted the necessity of this reunion. He couldn't go
back on his word now. May as well be open and honest.
"That there was something abnormal with me, two weeks. The abnormality
in question... the last mission."
"Not before? why? Weren't you able to understand?"
"Try to get bitten by a werewolf and we'll see how much time you
need to realize what are the results" Wing's pilot lashed back, clearly
annoyed. "That's not as if I had an absolute knowledge of lycanthropy
symptoms, nor as if I was expecting to wake up a half-beast! And... Lastly,
my cognitive functions were somewhat thwarted by a few... instinctive
reactions."
"You know it would have been faster to just say that you had troubles
thinking right?" muttered Duo in his corner.
"That is to say?" Wufei rushed, not to let him the time to get
pissed at Maxwell.
Heero got up brutally and began to stalk back and forth in the room, with
long, supple steps. He raked a hand in his hair, and Duo stared, fascinated.
For him to show such obvious signs of stress, he really had to be feeling
a strong sense of unease.
"I... The wolf's instincts ... they're so strong ... I felt too much,
too fast, too often, I didn't have the time to think anymore ... That's
why I isolated myself from you, I couldn't manage. And his senses, his
strength, his suppleness... It was as if, all of my life, I had been living
in cotton wool, behind a glass... and suddenly I was given a real body
in a perfect state to replace the old rusty cyborg in which I was trying
to function... It was too much at the same time..."
"Could you be more specific?"
"Yeah, you already told us about your senses..." Duo cut him.
He could FEEL that Wu was going to ask questions on the instincts... but
it was not the moment for that. It was a ground even shakier than the
other alterations, if they went and dug in here now, Heero would close
up tighter than ever, he knew it as well as he knew his own name.
"It's mostly the sense of smell which has been modified. To be clear...
before, I didn't have any. It is something totally...new. I don't think
I can smell things as well as a dog, not in human form anyway, but I gather
information by this way that you couldn't even dream of... and that I
have no way yet of understanding. It's... another world... My sight...
My acuity itself didn't really augment, but my nocturnal sight is ten
times better, and the way I can zero in on the slightest movement....
As for my hearing, to give you an idea, I can hear your heart beat in
your chest from this distance, if I concentrate on it. My touch didn't
change in a measurable way, apart from my sensitivity to cold, which lowered
rather significantly."
"The inconveniences to being a werewolf?" repeated Wufei.
Heero growled, unconsciously, and the other boys gulped and tried to act
as if they hadn't heard.
"... instincts. I want to do things and most of the time I don't
even know why. Or rather, yes I know, but... It isn't logical. Not justifiable.
And... I do it without conscious control..."
Ouchie. The last admittance seemed seriously hard to admit.
"Like what?"
"Verify the house. Secure the perimeter. I can't rest, and I mean
I can't, until I'm sure nobody entered my... territory. Sleeping
hidden. Can't close one eye as long as I'm exposed. Smelling what I eat
before I bite."
At the extreme interest and surprise of the other pilots, he suddenly
blushed.
"... running after the people ... things running away from me..."
Duo burst out laughing.
"Heero, are you trying to tell us that you're chasing after rabbits?!"
He whirled around and gave him a murdering glare, but calmed down nearly
as fast as he had gotten angry. Trowa noted with interest that it was
without a doubt linked to the fact that when Duo had been surprised by
his reaction, he had thrown his head and his shoulders back, revealing
for a second his throat.
"No. Squirrels..." admitted Yuy with a shadow of a self-deprecating
smile on his lips. "And... I can realize quite well that I am unnecessarily
aggressive with most of the males I meet. I don't know why, I try to keep
a hold of myself, but..."
"Dominance conflict", diagnosed Trowa. "You don't have
this problem with women?"
Heero thought about it for a second, then shook his head, frowning. He
lifted an eyebrow for Trowa to encourage him to share his thoughts.
"Wolves have a very hierarchic social structure. I think that by
your aggressive behavior, you are trying to establish a dominating/dominated
relationship with the other males you meet, to know where you stand. Wolves
have troubles attacking females, though. As for the verification of the
perimeter, it's the same instinct that pushes canines to piss all around
their territory. To mark their possession."
"I am not that much of an animal!!!" growled Heero while stepping
toward Trowa, his eyes blazing with fury.
Rather than returning the glare, Trowa lowered his eyes to the floor,
slightly tilting his head on the side in a way that made his turtleneck
unveil a little bit of his skin, and adopted a more lax position, letting
himself slide downward, opening his belly to attacks. The Asian pilot
stepped back. Very calm, Trowa waited for him to return to his previous
place before looking up once again.
"You just expressed your dominance upon me by raising your voice
and stalking into my personal space in a menacing manner, and when I showed
you my throat in a way expressing my acceptance of your place and my lack
of desire to challenge you, you calmed down at once" Trowa remarked
in a placid voice. "There are not many clearer conversations for
a canine."
Heero clenched his fists.
"But you didn't make a sound, and him neither!?!" Duo exclaimed,
looking at them alternatively.
"Wolves have a very evolved language, it just doesn't use only sounds
like ours, but smells and body language as well. You should learn to pay
attention to your body language, as it has a much greater impact on a
wolf than it has on a human. At least until Heero learns to live with
his instincts" the ex-mercenary added, as a concession to the stumbling
control the Japanese boy had on his temper.
"Really? How do you mean that?"
"You can say something kind and friendly to him, if your scent and
body language say that you are angry or aggressive or mocking, he'll attack
you anyway without even thinking twice." Trowa shrugged.
Heero gave him a nasty glare, but didn't comment, too conscious of the
fact that, for the moment at least, it was mostly true. If Trowa's voice
had been only slightly less impersonal, he would have jumped him.
He looked at the other boys. Duo was sitting calmly, twisting his braid
and looking at the floor, pensive. Wufei had his arms crossed on his chest
in a way that tried for collected and superior but was only defensive
and wary, and his eyebrows were frowning less in anger than in indecision.
"... Any other questions? No? I'm going out."
"You're living more out than in here..." remarked Duo.
"You prefer that I stay? The wolf is too strong, I don't want a repeat
of what happened with Wufei and Quatre. The full moon only finished yesterday.
And I still feel the call..."
"The call?" repeated Chang, confused. "What do you mean
by that?"
Heero bit his lower lip. He had said too much... Bah, he didn't gain that
much of an advantage by hiding it from them.
He tried to find words to put on the sensation, but it was not easy, because
it needed allusive words, nearly poetry. For someone used to call things
by their technical name, it was hard trying to deal with the metaphors
that alone could explain accurately what he felt.
"I... The more the Moon was getting full, the more I could feel...
Like if someone was calling me, but I couldn't quite hear the words nor
recognize the voice... Now I know, it was the wolf rising ... It was as
if someone was hidden in the shadows of my mind, near the surface... and
ready to jump in the broad daylight at the first occasion. It's hard to
explain in a rational way " he admitted, shrugging in a helpless
way.
He suddenly turned around.
"I'm going out" he informed them abruptly, before doing just
that.
"Heyyyyy... well. Don't catch a cold!!!"
"BAKA!!!"
The door slammed, letting three very confused boys alone in the room.
* * * * * * * *
The young empath opened an eye, then the other... and swore. The atmosphere
couldn't fool him... he was once again in Yuy's dreamforest. He hoped
that knowing where he was and how, would make it disappear, but nothing
happened. The forest was staying here... Sighing before the unavoidable,
Quatre began his trek to the bottomless lake.
It was strange, it seemed that he just had had to think about the place
to he there... he walked to the shore and bent over the edge to look at
the bottom of the thawing out waters. The rocks were cascading down to
crystal-blue depths... and the vaguely apparent reflection of lava, all
the way down. The lake was a drowned crater.
He didn't have to wait for the presence for too long. Ever the same.
Anger at his intrusion...
This time, Quatre didn't run. He knew what he would see... he wasn't
afraid.
Well, to be truthful, yes he was... but less than before. He had had
time to think about it, and... Well, it would be hard, and if he could
have chosen, he would never have wanted it.
But so was being a Gundam pilot.
He just would have to make do with it. He was sure that there were
positive sides, if you searched long enough...
He turned around, slowly, ready to meet the Wolf heads on. The beast
was staring at him from the bushes, growling low in his throat. He only
saw his glowing eyes, too blue...
"Come..." he breathed while kneeling on the bank.
And slowly, the beast walked out of the bushes.
It was the Wolf... and it was Heero... and Heero was the Wolf... Later,
when he would remember the dream, he wouldn't know anymore how he could
see a wolf and a man at the same time, but still only one being. But in
the dream, it was something normal, logical.
He opened his arms, spreading them to offer his body, accepting whatever
the beast...Heero would do to him for having penetrated his dream-territory
once again... a cold nose pressed itself against his throat, sniffing,
then disappeared.
* * * * * *
"Katoru?"
"Heero? ... mmmm... it's cold in your forest ..."
After retrieving the cover from the ground where the blond boy's thrashing
had sent it, and giving it back to the sleeping boy who hugged it close
at once, the Japanese smiled softly then closed the door behind him. He
didn't know what had happened, apart from the fact that, when he had woken
up, he had been feeling the urge to go check on the golden-haired pilot.
The picture of a young boy, throat bared with trust, was floating at the
back of his mind...
... a boy with animal-like ears.
Dream-Quatre was already beginning to evolve.
* * * * * *
The morning after, Heero burst in the bathroom when Duo was drying his
hair, singing and still only clad in a little towel hung on his shoulders.
The American boy yelped and whirled around to face him.
"SHIT, HEERO!!! Does it occur to you to KNOCK on the bloody door?!!?"
he shrieked, embarrassed, while snatching his towel and tying it around
his waist.
"I need bandages for Quatre's arm," said the Japanese boy without
bothering to answer that. "Where are they?"
"Lower shelf" sighed Duo, understanding that trying to get angry
at his partner when he was in his 'ignore Duo' mode was a dead end.
The long-haired boy nearly tore out half his hair with a careless stroke
of his brush when Yuy bent over to look at the closet, giving him an absolutely
perfect view of a certain part of his anatomy the spandex was showing
off more than it hid. He felt himself redden and turned around to face
the wall, absorbing himself in brushing and braiding his hair.
"Duo."
Oops. The American boy slowly turned around.
"Yeah?" he asked with a big, nervous grin.
Heero was coldly staring at him, his expression as... as non-expressive
as always.
"Are you interested in me, in a physical way?"
Duo blinked a few times and turned an interesting shade of hot pink.
"NO!! Not at all, what are you imagin..."
Heero's eyes imperceptibly narrowed, and the braided pilot remembered
what he was now, correlating it with some things like heightened senses
and the distinct smell of different states of mind, like the scent of
a lie... and the scent of desire.
"Err, well, I... well..."
He began to torture the end of his plait between his fingers. To have
to admit this as flatly, to a Heero who seemed as cold as ever and probably
didn't give a damn about ruffled feelings...
"You would not be unattractive, I suppose..."
Heero turned slowly around to face him, and speared him with his so intense
eyes, his expression unreadable.
"You'd like to date me?" he asked in a detached tone of voice.
Crap, Heero knew that he liked males. Now, if he was reacting badly or
not about it, Duo couldn't judge.
Duo wondered for a second if he was asking... No, from the tone, he wasn't,
he just wanted to know his intentions on the subject. Would have been
too great to be true.
Now, to answer that. He didn't want to say that he was bi if Heero was
homophobe, but, hell, he couldn't flat out lie either. And Heero already
suspected, and strongly enough that he was speaking of it.
"Well, I... Not specially, well, I mean, if you wanted to I wouldn't
spit on it, but like that, I dunno..."
"Duo."
"I never really thought about it, but... Yes, I'd like that."
The American forced the words out, struggling to keep looking at him in
the eye. He wasn't ashamed of his preferences, he wouldn't lower his eyes.
Heero narrowed his eyes even more. His voice was totally devoid of any
warmth or even coldness, just precise and mechanical, when he clued Duo
in about his view on the matter.
"From my experience, the... lycanthropic 'disease' transmits easily
by ways of contact with contaminated spit and blood, and probably as well
by sperm."
Duo started, shocked at first by the crude, cold terms, and more than
a little hurt by the apparent disinterest and contempt; then after a second
he put the cold aside to remember it was Heero he was talking to... and
then, his hurt out of the way, he was hit dead on by the reality behind
the scientific terms the boy was using.
Heero could never, would never, be able to touch someone like that, with
a lover's touch, to share sexual intimacy with another person; not without
contaminating them, condemning them to his and Quatre's fate. Never.
"But going so far as a transmission of seminal liquid wouldn't even
be necessary" the Wing pilot continued, drilling his message home.
"One kiss would probably be more than enough."
Yuy turned to the door, carrying an armful of bandages.
Duo stared at his retreating back, his mouth slightly opened, his arms
limp, shell-shocked. He didn't even acknowledge the brush falling from
his nerveless fingers to break on the floor.
+
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