Author: Asuka Kureru
Warnings: Yaoi, romance, sap, love triangle, threesome, heavy lime to nearly full lemon, dunno yet; the POV is shifting between the boys.
Couple (trio?) : 1+2+5, 1x2x5x2x1 and diverse combinations ^__^ (some 1+5 kissyface here)
Disclaimer: They're sharing, why can't we do the same? ;_;

Walking the Tightrope + Chapter 3

Wufei was the first to burst through the opening between the bushes, into the little house's yard. As such, he had exactly one second to catch, through the window, the forlorn, dreamy-sad expression Heero had on his face. Then the daydreaming boy's head snapped up, and he jumped out of his seat, startled. Wufei slowed down, surprised to have gotten such a reaction from someone who was usually much more aware and much faster to catch onto what was happening around him. Yuy had to have been deep in thoughts...

Then Duo ran out of the wood after him and jumped on his back, making him stumble forward and desperately try to catch his balance before he kissed the ground. When Wufei straightened back up, the curtain was balancing before the empty window and Heero was opening the back door and mock-glaring at them, one hand on his hips.

"Are you coming in, or do you intend on camping in the yard?"

"Yeesh! We're coming mom!" Duo called back, tightening the hold his legs had on Wufei's waist.

They entered the house, Duo still on Wufei's back and refusing to get off. He only relented when Wufei made as if he was going to fall back on a wall.

"Meanie!" pouted Duo, acting childish only for the reason that he got to Wufei easier that way.

"I am not a horse... And if I hear the word stallion pass your lips you're sleeping in the tub."

Duo laughed out loud, eyeing the man in a way that showed that he was considering making a very lame remark on that. But Wufei scowled and raised a menacing hand on him, and so the chestnut-haired boy shrugged, and after having stuck out his tongue at him, Duo turned to Heero.

"Hey, Heero, didja finish your report?"

"Yes," answered the Japanese boy, shrugging. It should have been obvious. If he hadn't he would have been working on it still.

"Long time ago?"

"No. Ten minutes, maybe fifteen, I don't know," answered the Japanese, indifferent.

He was lying of course. He had been sitting at the window for at least one hour and a half.

Wufei was staring at him, pensive, serious, slightly frowning. Heero just knew that he knew. He scowled slightly at him, asking him to stay silent. The raven-haired pilot frowned in response and shrugged imperceptibly, as if to say that it wasn't his problem.

"So you weren't too bored then? Good!" said Duo, slinging an arm over his shoulders and kissing him on the cheek.

He knew damn well that he was acting clingy, even more so than ever, especially with Heero. Damn, even after they had gotten together he hadn't kissed him as much and as often. But he hadn't found any other way to reassure the Japanese teen that he wasn't going to abandon him. Heero was altruist, but so insecure sometimes.

Heero walked back to the living room and his laptop, his braided lover still leaning on him. Wufei followed, Heero having signaled to him with a nod.

"No, I wasn't... By the way, Wufei, I'll need you to go over Trowa's report and tell me if your version of your last joined mission differs significantly. Oh, and Quatre says hello."

"Really? What's up, did he say?"

"He's in hiding, like us. I don't know where. A little boring I guess."

"... Bet it is. But then, it's a little dead at the moment," commented the chestnut-haired teenager.

They read Quatre's email, each smiling their version of an affectionate smile. He had one part for each of them, thoughtfully asking about their health and having a friendly comment for everyone. Wufei decided to type his answer in the same mail as Heero's, but Duo declined, saying that he preferred to answer later, because it would be a lengthy mail. Heero and Wufei shared a look. Duo didn't want them to read what he would be typing, which meant he was going to tell Quatre about the three of them. Bah, it didn't bother them, it was not as if Quatre would permit himself to judge them, and the man was their friend. And life was short, especially when you were fighting in a war.

In the middle of these serious considerations, Duo's stomach suddenly growled, startling them all.

Heero smirked, and Wufei shook his head, appalled. The boy had wolfed down an innumerable amount of junk food during their outing.

"You not hungry, guys?" asked the braided one sheepishly.

"Not yet, but I could eat," answered Heero, who had barely eaten anything at noon and nothing at all since.

"Guess since you're gonna be answering Quat's mail, I'm cooking tonight... Be afraid, be very afraid!!" he exclaimed, striking a pose.

The boy disappeared into the kitchen, all too aware of the awkward silence that had fallen on the little room between them. It couldn't be wise to leave them alone together. But they were mature, responsible. It was not as if they would tear off each other's heads. No, that was not what made him wince; it was that they were always so unsure around each other, skittish nearly, afraid of offending, of being offended, of being the one to tip off the balance of that strange tightrope walkers act they were performing without any security net.

Maybe it was not wise, but he could not always be between them. He could not, and he would not. It was not healthy for their relationship, for him to be the focal point like that. They needed to learn to communicate as Wufei and him had communicated on their date, as Heero and him had been for a long time now, to get past their fears and really talk about what was really important, deep down. And they would not do that as long as he was there, because they would always be paying attention to what he wanted to hear and what they wanted to say to him, not what they needed to say to and hear from each other. This relationship was so much more frail than any normal one, thrice as much. They couldn't take things in a normal way. They had to establish a basis whose solidity would withstand all trials.

He felt bad for abandoning them together, really he did. But it was just necessary.

He hoped Quatre would be able to give him some good advice on that... once he had passed the surprised state. Well, if was not as if the Arab would be disgusted, he knew Duo's feelings about the two Asian pilots and he had never said one thing.

Well, yes, one thing only.

'Taking all odds in account, the five of us will probably not have more than one year left to live. By all means, Duo, if you can find something good even in the middle of the war, go for it. You don't have anything to lose, and everything to gain, and we have sacrificed enough already...you deserve to be happy even for a short while. And even if you think you don't deserve it, don't you think the people you killed will count far more in Hell than the fact that you had your heart open wide enough to give it to two people that were even more lonely than yourself?'

He had pounced on Quatre after that sentence, so relieved, so happy, so embarrassed by the heart-to-heart talk and wanting to put an end to that girly stuff.

It was not an absolution, not really. But knowing that the only people he cared about didn't disapprove of his abnormal love... It had been as good as one. And while the idea of his lovers dying was intolerable in his mind, he had envisioned his own already. Heero and Wufei could at least support each other in their grief, if ever Duo...

He shook his head. He didn't want to think about that. He was behaving as if their whole fate, their life and death, was depending on one little moment in the living room together. They were like every couple. They had a right to a certain level of mistakes before having to call it quits. It was not that important if he was not always with them.

Whistling, the boy with the chestnut braid began to dig out the things he would need to make something vaguely edible for tonight. The gods knew it was something he needed to concentrate wholly on if he ever wanted to succeed.

+

The two Asian teens glanced at each other. Heero was standing beside the table, a step behind Wufei who was sitting in front of his laptop. The black-eyed boy prepared to type his answer.

"...Wufei...?"

"Yes?" answered the Chinese boy, frowning faintly at the strange way his name had been said. He turned back and glanced at the teenager.

"... Don't tell him... about...You know," muttered Heero, glancing at the window.

"I wasn't planning on it," answered the Chinese boy, haughty, annoyed that the other boy would believe that he was going to tattle, especially something like that.

He saw that Heero was looking at the floor, barely a hint of incertitude behind his usual impassive expression.

"I just don't want him to worry..." he muttered.

"I will not tell him," repeated Wufei, this time more comprehensively. "I ...understand."

Heero lifted his head and stared at him for a lengthy minute.

"You did the same too, didn't you? Before you were with us," blurted the short-haired boy with a sudden certainty.

Wufei shrugged. It was embarrassing, admitting that he had been pining over Duo to the point where he had been waiting by the window, torturing himself with visions of the both of them laughing, hugging, kissing. Lost in their little world where there was only place for two.

And now Heero felt the same way. Felt... excluded. Forgotten.

Wufei felt a pang of pain at the thought. Because of him Yuy half believed that he was being replaced in Duo's heart. And the man was still not protesting against Wufei's presence in his lover's life, he could see that in his deep blue eyes. They were still accepting, not a touch of hostility toward Wufei in them. Just a small bit of annoyance, some wariness maybe. But no hostility. No rejection. Because Duo loved him, Wufei, and Heero just wanted Duo to be happy.

He felt a mix of admiration and shame, when he thought about it. And gratefulness, for the selfless gift he had bestowed upon the two longhaired boys. Admiration that he would be willing to go to such length, would be willing to let an occasion to his lover to be with someone he could, maybe, learn to love more than himself... not that Wufei thought that it would or even could happen, but it was still a possibility that the Japanese teenager had to have envisioned. Shame, because he didn't know if he could have done the same... No, he knew, now more than ever, that he wouldn't have done the same. Wufei would never had intervened between a committed couple, and Heero and Duo were that... But if he had even known beforehand that Yuy had also been interested in Duo and that Duo could chose him as well as the other Asian teen, he would have fought to be the one, would have tried with all his might to get chosen. But he was sure, just sure, that Heero would probably just have tested his commitment to Duo, and then let himself be erased from the picture, because, Wufei just felt it without knowing why, he believed that it would be better for Duo if he was not fought over...

...He could see now that it WAS selfless, and he had always known that Heero Yuy was the most selfless of all the Gundam Pilots, with the exception of Quatre maybe, because he was the only one to have nothing to gain in this war for himself or his people, and nothing to avenge, which had been Wufei's own reason to begin fighting. But it also was a hint, somewhat, that the Japanese pilot didn't really feel that he was someone that great to have a relationship with. That he felt that, between a relationship with Chang and a relationship with him, he would not be the better choice. He loved Duo and knew that Duo loved him, but... If Duo really, really wanted to leave, he would not try to hold him back. He would just let him leave, only making sure that Duo knew that he would be waiting for him.

Wufei felt shame. Was it love, knowing that he himself would fight tooth and nail to keep Duo, while Heero would be willing to set him free, or was it possessiveness?

But on the other side, was it really only selfless love, or was it also lack of confidence in his own worth from Yuy?

Anyway, he really held the other Asian in high esteem. Very high esteem. The man gave another definition to the word honor. He didn't want to see him hurt if he could prevent it.

"Did you... have fun, today?" asked Heero, trying hard to sound casual. He didn't want to come off as intrusive or as suspicious, just a friend wondering.

Wufei felt awkward when he answered that all had gone fine. They fell silent, and Wufei typed his answer to Quatre, grateful for the distraction it gave him, then he got up to let Heero launch the program that would send it. The Japanese boy didn't sit down for that, just leaned over the chair to type some things then shut down the computer. When he turned away, he blinked at Wufei, surprised that the other hadn't gone yet to find Duo in the kitchen.

"Look, Yuy, I had been meaning to talk about something with you."

"Yeah?"

Wufei's cheek had a slight blush on them, but he seemed serious and determined, so Heero decided not to comment on it.

"You remember the... The Night?"

Heero snorted. Even just listening, you could know that there were quotations around that word. 'The' night.

"How could I forget...?" he mused, lifting an eyebrow sarcastically.

"You remember our experiments, then," asked Wufei, more cutting than he had intended at first.

Heero blinked, then felt his face go a little warm. He remembered, no problem about that. He nodded, slightly, a little embarrassed.

"We need to tell Duo about what happened. The kisses I mean. I understand why we didn't talk about it with him at first, because he could have read into it the wrong way..."

"The wrong way?" asked Heero, lifting a surprised eyebrow, wondering if he should feel pissed. They had been kissing, and it had been good. He didn't see which thing Duo could have understood wrong.

"That we were into each other as much if not more than into him," answered the Chinese boy. "In that moment it wouldn't have been good at all if he had believed that... But still, now we should tell him. I don't feel good hiding it from him, even if it's not that important now. I don't want to hide anything from him. Imagine if he discovers it after a while. I don't know how he would react..."

"You're right," groaned Heero, wincing. "If we don't tell him he is going to think that we had a reason to hide it, and then..."

"It's agreed then?"

Heero nodded. Then he laughed, a little, tensely.

"It's strange..."

"What is strange?"

"Do you remember how it felt, that night?"

Chang blushed bright red.

Heero was blushing too. "That is exactly what I meant," he said casually, gesturing to Wufei's cheeks then his own.

"What do you mean?" asked Wufei testily.

Unfazed, Heero stared him right in the eye. "It seems so strange now to think that we kissed that way... and even more than that, we enjoyed it. Now I can't even imagine being with you that way, but we did it already. It is very strange."

Wufei mumbled something unintelligible under his breath that sounded like a curse.

"I had been trying to forget," he remarked. "It is very embarrassing, now, you know."

Sadly for him, having his head lowered, he missed the sudden devilish gleam that passed in Heero's deep blue eyes, a bratty side of him that Duo had needed months to dig out, but that, now that it was unveiled, appeared quite often and without warning. Therefore, the poor Chinese pilot was totally unprepared to feel him lean forward, his mouth brushing against his ear.

"What is so embarrassing to remember? My hard on, or yours?"

"Yuy!!!" exclaimed the shocked boy, jumping back, eyes wide. "Are you feeling well?" he asked suspiciously, trying to beat down the full blush covering his whole face and neck.

"Sorry," said the boy, not looking very sorry at all. "But you have to admit, it's strange that we're not even thinking that way about each other again, when we had been so... well, you remember. Now I don't even understand how I even found the courage to get you in that bed with me, even less how we ended up kissing..." Heero shook his head, looking honestly astonished.

"Maybe because you were set on seducing me into hooking up with the both of you, and I was too surprised to think about what we were really doing," answered Wufei with a snort, looking away to hide at least part of his blush.

"But still... I wonder... Does it still...?"

Wufei was opening his mouth to ask what he was wondering when he looked at Yuy. And then he turned red... well, redder.

"...You too?" he forced himself to ask. He had realized that he had been wondering if the way he had reacted to the boy had been a fluke. It still bothered him, to have had his body feel that way with someone other than Duo.

Their eyes met. They stared at each other, then Heero nodded and stepped closer.

They were both headstrong and prone to take the lead, but with each other, it was not quite working. Kind of intimidating, neither knew why. Shyly, they approached each other. They had a few false starts before even the first contact, and for a while after that contact, neither did much. Heero began vaguely moving his lips, but he was so tense and bothered by what Wufei might think that he didn't do much and not that well, shaming himself even more.

"This isn't working," announced Wufei after a while. He looked away, intensely embarrassed. It had been very stupid. Now he was going to be embarrassed in Yuy's presence even more than before.

Heero bit his lower lip thoughtfully. "You're right. I feel much too tense to really get into it, and we can't prove anything in one sense or the other if we jump apart as the slightest provocation."

"Sorry if the idea of kissing you makes me nervous," retorted Wufei, only half joking. "You're just not Duo..."

He stepped to the side to go to the kitchen, thinking that it was better they abort the experiment. It didn't seem to be going anywhere.

"Hey.."

"Yes, Yu... Heero?"

He had to think intimate, in-ti-mate. The man was his lover's lover, apart from becoming his lover as well, they couldn't very well get more intimate than they were. He couldn't continue calling him by his family name. He had been doing so, and it was wrong, because he knew that it was his way of keeping his distance even when they were talking about important stuff. Heero. Not Yuy; Heero.

"We could try to pretend that the other is Duo, you know... Just to see?"

[cont]