Faith is believing in things
when common sense tells you not to.
~ George Seaton
"So what did you and Ja-- hey! What the hell are you doing?!"
Duo stumbled backwards as I snapped the cuffs in place and stared at me
in confusion. "I thought we were over this, man!"
I narrowed my eyes and turned around, half dragging him behind me as I
walked away from the orphanage. His protests seemed to echo as we moved
down the dark streets and I ignored him until we were finally back at
the church. By then we were soaked from the rain and he looked incredibly
pissed off, as well as betrayed.
"I can't believe this Heero, I thought you were just starting to
loosen up," he complained as we entered the building.
"Have you ever killed anyone?" I asked bluntly. I watched as
his eyes widened and his jaw dropped, staring at me in shock.
"What kinda question is that?"
"A straightforward one," I said flatly. My eyes narrowed dangerously
and gripped his thin shoulder tightly. "Answer the question."
Different emotions flickered across his face and for a moment I thought
he was going to get angry, but instead he settled for cool defiance. The
narrow chin jerked up and an eyebrow cocked. "What if I don't wanna
answer the question?"
I frowned and studied his _expression. The look wasn't foreign to me and
in fact I had seen it many times on criminal suspects when I questioned
them. "Duo," I started quietly, trying to get my thoughts together.
"Just forget I'm a cop for a minute and answer the question honestly."
"Forget you're a cop? What are you? Fuckin' stupid?! You slap a pair
of handcuffs on me and start demanding questions and I'm supposed to pretend
everything is cool?!"
I grit my teeth and raked a hand through my hair. All I was used to acting
like was a cop. My life was my job and I rarely had any other interaction
with people outside of it. I took a deep breath and tried a different
approach. "I believed you when you told me that you are sorry for
what happened. I believed everything you have been telling me for the
last twenty-four hours, but you have to understand that my safety comes
first. If there is a chance that you are jerking me around, I'm not going
to let it go."
He scowled at me. "Your safety? What the hell do you think I'm gonna
do to you? Bash you over the head with my fake gun? Strangle you with
I glared at him. "Don't give me that innocent act, I know damn well
that you can defend yourself and that you can be a tough motherfucker
when it comes down to it."
He grinned suddenly and had the nerve to preen. "Well, it's good
that you noticed."
"Duo! I'm trying to be serious with you. I need answers and you have
to give them to me, honestly. The last thing I want to do is arrest you,
The smile faded and he leaned against the wall. "Heero, I actually
like you man. After the initial stuck up asshole attitude, you proved
to be a pretty nice guy. I wouldn't hurt you, let alone kill you."
"Then who would you kill?"He glared at me, indigo eyes blazing.
"Christ, Heero where the hell is this coming from?!"
"Your hatred for Preventers and the fact that people say you kill
His eyes widened and he paled visibly. "I.." His sentence trailed
off and he looked away from me quickly. "I have my reasons for hatin'
Preventers, I told ya that last night."
"I know. You blame them for your brother dying," I ignored the
startled look he gave me and went on. "Even if they were indirectly
"Indirectly my ass," He sneered. "I know what
happened, the other kids who were arrested with him told me. There was
a fight among the inmates, the fuckin' pigs busted in the holding cell
and started beatin' the hell out of anyone within range of the fight;
even if they wasn't involved. They beat my brother to fuckin' death and
he hadn't done a goddamn thing!"
I could tell by the anger in his voice, the sheen of unshed tears in his
eyes.. that he was telling the truth. It left me speechless and for the
umpteenth time I couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. "I'm
sorry." The words seemed trivial in response to what he had just
blurted out but I didn't know quite what to say. I looked at him from
the corner of my eye and he seemed to be collecting himself so I proceeded
with my questioning. "Have you ever killed a Preventer, Duo?"
His head jerked in my direction and he had a wild look in his eyes. "So
what if I did? There's no other way I coulda gotten revenge for his death."
My heart plummeted to my feet and I stared at him in horror. "So
"I killed the Preventers who killed my brother, I didn't go on some
half cocked, fuckin' vigilante spree.. just killin' anyone with a badge!
I found out who did it and I took em' out! What the fuck should I have
done? Written worthless letters to Une again? Cried myself to sleep and
wished he could come back?! I got them back for what they did to him,
damn it! Now if you want to arrest me for that, go right afuckinhead.
I ain't sorry for it."
I stared at him silently, wishing that I could read his thoughts. Wishing
that I knew what the hell was going through his mind at that moment. I
took in the way he was holding back his tears and the way his thin hands
were clenched into white knuckled fists. "Would you kill me?"
He looked at me in shock. "No! I hated all cops for a long time..
but I know now, I know you all ain't bad. Just like now you know everyone
on L2 ain't bad." He moved closer to me and I ignored my first instinct,
which had been to back away. One of his hands reached for my shoulder
and he clutched it. "I told you, I.. I thought we were beginning
to be.. friends, you know? Even though I kicked your ass last night, but.."
His sentence trailed off and he hung his head, with a sigh. "Just
forget it. If you want to arrest me and drag me back to the station, just
The disturbing thing was, that I believed him. I believed him and no matter
what the cop in me was saying, I couldn't have arrested him if I wanted
to. How the hell could I punish him for killing murderers? Especially
when I did the same thing every time I went on a mission. The only difference
was, that I had a badge. I moved slowly, trying not to startle him and
pulled him into an awkward hug. "I'm not going to arrest you."
He sniffed and returned the hug, seeming to be glad for the contact. "Really?"
I patted his shoulder and couldn't help but feel like a clumsy idiot.
I had never really hugged anyone before. "Yes, really. So you can
stop crying now."
He pulled away from me and glared. "Fuck you! I ain't crying!"
I smirked. "Yeah, sure."
He stuck out his tongue and wiped his sleeve across his face. "I
get kinda emotional talkin' about my brother.."
I shrugged and started to un-cuff our hands, rotating my wrist when it
was free."I understand." I walked over to the fireplace, attempting
to start the beginnings of a fire. After a moment he came over and helped
me, starting it in only a few minutes. Afterwards we sat there quietly,
letting the warm flames dry us.
"So what now?" He asked quietly.
I shrugged and pulled off my jacket, rolling my shoulders to work the
kinks out of the muscles. "I don't know. What time are you supposed
to be meeting your friend?"
He squinted at the cheap digital watch on his wrist. "In about five
hours, over at Tildon Square, one of the nicer areas in Golgotha."
I nodded and studied the fire. Once again a comfortable silence settled
over us and I found myself playing the conversation back in my mind. "So
you like me, huh?"
Duo shot me an odd look and brushed the long bangs out of his face. "That's
what I said, ain't it?"
I shrugged and leaned back, supporting myself with the palms of my hands.
"The feeling is mutual."
He raised an eyebrow and peered at me curiously. "In a gay way or
a 'I wanna be your buddy' way?"
I laughed out loud at that and it took a moment for me to collect myself.
"Well, both I guess."
He looked at me oddly. "Oh.."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh please, don't pretend to be straight
He snickered and began to fiddle with the end of his braid. "I'm
not.. I just think it's kinda weird. I'm all skinny and poor an' shit.
You probably have a boyfriend at home anyways."
I shook my head. "You'd be surprised. Normally, I don't interact
with anyone outside of the job. Antisocial I guess.."
Duo considered that for a moment. "So then what do you do after work?
Just go home alone and clean guns or somethin'?"
"Actually, yes. Sometimes I watch TV or surf the internet too."
I shrugged and realized how pathetic that sounded. "It's hard for
me to find people who I can talk to.. people I feel comfortable around.
I have a few friends but we aren't really close. I only really talk to
them about politics or work."
He shook his head. "Well that sucks. If I was around you that much,
shit, I'd be pestering you all the time! I'd definitely try to bring you
outta your shell."
I offered him a small smile. "Well, in a way you have. Just think,
I've had more casual conversation with you than I've had with anyone else
in the past seven years. And all you had to do was mug me."
He laughed and shook his head, eyes crinkling at the sides. "You're
I studied the side of his face and couldn't seem to tear my eyes away.
Why did he have to be so damned attractive? My hand reached out almost
of its own accord and lightly slid down his cheek. He looked at me, startled..
but didn't try to pull away. "Since you like me so much, how about
you give me a kiss?" The words were out of my mouth before I could
reign them back in and I had the sudden urge to sink into the floor in
embarrassment. I yanked my hand away from him and cleared my throat.
The silence was uncomfortable and I could feel his eyes on me, even as
I studied the fire intently.
After awhile he cleared his throat. "Why the hell not?" Then
long fingers were curling around my collar and he jerked me against him,
pressing his soft lips against mine. I was too shocked to respond at first
and he pulled back, glaring at me.
"Sorry.." I muttered sheepishly and leaned forward, kissing
him again. The kiss was innocent at first, our lips rubbing together gently
as we got the feel of each other. After a moment he leaned closer and
I slipped my tongue in his mouth, savoring the surprised gasp and the
soft moan that followed. I slowly pushed him backwards, hovering over
his slender body when his back was against the wooden floor. I settled
against him, tangling one hand in his hair as we continued to kiss languidly,
tongues massaging each other in a way that was incredibly sensual. As
he explored my mouth with surprisingly innocent zeal, I felt my body begin
to grow warm; the telltale signs of arousal tingling in my groin. My kisses
became more heated and before I could stop myself, I was grinding my hips
lightly against his.
The rest of his sentence was lost as I drew his tongue back into my mouth;
reaching down to run my hands down his thighs. He gasped and arched up
against me, eyes falling closed as my fingers inched towards his growing
"Heero.. I don't think.."
"Sshh," I murmured, letting my lips trail down his neck.
"This isn't a good idea," He managed to choke out and started
pulling away, staring at me intently from under his damp bangs.
I stilled atop him and released
a soft sigh, shifting away from him so that I was laying on my back. "Why
Duo took several deep breaths before sitting up and pulling his clothes
back into place. "Cos' A, your leavin' later on, B, I don't sleep
around and C, I don't know much about you." He turned red and cleared
his throat. "It's not that I don't wanna.. because I do. It's just
that I don't want to get too attached to someone I may never see again."
I closed my eyes and willed my body to get control of itself. "I
understand. I don't.. usually do things like this." I opened my eyes
and looked over at him. "I haven't had many relationships.."
He smiled crookedly. "I guess that means I'm special, huh?"
I returned the smile even as I rolled my eyes. "Maybe."
He stretched out beside me on the floor and began toying with the unruly
spikes that masqueraded as my hair. "You know, I don't want to get
too physical with you.. but... I wouldn't mind some more kissing."
His cheeks flushed an attractive rose color and I smirked at him. As I
pulled him closer to me, I couldn't help but think it was going to be
harder leaving him behind than I had originally thought. A part of me
wished that he was a murderer, at least then I wouldn't have the
insane idea that I was starting to fall for him.
[back to Aya's fiction]