Author: BleedToBlue
Pairings: 6x2, 1xR, 3x4, hints of 5x2
Warning: R-ish, m/m, AU, Post War Preventor-ness
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to someone else and I make no profit from this.

A/N: Many thanks to Marasmine for all her help and encouragement and her excellent beta skills. She did her best, all the mistakes are my own fault.

The Entropy of Memory + Chapter 11

Duo struggled to remain still as he felt two familiar arms ensnare him, an embrace that he'd missed dreadfully he realized. Heero's eyes had widened slightly on screen as Zechs appeared in range of the vid camera.

"Goodbye,Yuy." Zechs said as he reached around Duo and flipped off the vid screen where Heero was watching them with a smug expression.

"Now we're alone." Zechs breathed the words into his ear. "You had something you wanted to say to me?" Duo could only shake his head in answer. How long had Zechs been listening, had he heard the whole sorry confession?

He would have envisioned a much different setting to talk to Zechs, if he'd admitted to himself that he'd thought about it. Someplace crowded, people all around, and lots of escape routes. Not some place private, with the only door locked, and Zechs' arms around him. He hadn't thought Zechs wanted to talk to him at all, he'd seemed so angry at the river. Duo liked the comforting feel of Zechs' embrace but he found himself checking for exits from the room.

He needed to leave before he said something he shouldn't, before it all went wrong and he said something stupid about wanting Zechs. Before he was pathetic and asked Zechs to take him home the way he'd offered. Before he let Zechs know he was afraid. Afraid to trust, afraid of Zechs getting killed, afraid of being in love, afraidafraidafraid.

"Not very manly." Came the inner whisper with a snicker. Zechs wanted him again, that should be enough. It had been good, it would be good for as long as it lasted, and he could pretend that's all it was, all he wanted. He had before. "So much for never lying." The inner voice was really getting on his nerves.

"I have some things I'd like to say to you." Zechs pulled Duo out of the chair, turning Duo to face him. Duo wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Zechs had to say, he didn't need anyone to point out he'd been an idiot about a lot of things but it was too late to go back now.

"You don't have to say anything. I was an idiot." Duo said and tried to pull away. It would be easier to talk without Zechs' very distracting nearness. "I behaved badly; I was hurt and I used you." Zechs allowed Duo to pull back far enough to see the serious expression on his face.

"I don't believe that." Zechs shook his head. "I believe you wanted comfort but I offered it. If anyone took advantage it was me, I knew how you felt about Heero. I knew you were vulnerable, in pain." Zechs admitted it, wondering how Duo would react to his admission as he moved closer and kissed Duo gently then more fiercely when Duo responded and returned the kiss.

"What are you doing?" Duo managed to say, distracted by the way Zechs' lips were moving in an erotic pattern down his neck, first behind his ear, then nuzzling his nape, then a soft nip where his neck and shoulders met before returning to whisper something against his hair that Duo couldn't quite hear. He needed to leave, felt himself pulling away, needed to leave before Zechs could... "Could what?" the internal voice asked.

"Has it been so long you don't recognize kissing?" Zechs' arms tightened even though Duo wasn't struggling against him. "What did I hear you tell Yuy about an apology you owed me?" Zechs moved to the other side of Duo's neck, kissing and sucking and generally making coherent thought difficult. "I've waited a long time to do this. Now about that apology?"

"Yeah, I owe you an apology." Duo managed to get out as Zechs maneuvered him away from the desk and towards the sofa gracing the other side of the room. Duo's brain was a bit fogged from Zechs' closeness and the kissing but something about Zechs' comment about being alone was niggling in the back of his mind.

"Zechs, I..." Duo started to say something but Zechs interrupted.

"Apology accepted, there was no 'using.'" Zechs answered with words and then his mouth against Duo's, sliding his tongue past Duo's lips. Zechs kissed him thoroughly then collapsed down on the sofa pulling Duo along with him, holding him close. "It was more than 'just sex.'" Duo blinked as he remembered the things he'd said to Zechs; he'd lied, lied to himself, and to Zechs when he'd said them.

"At least it was more than just sex to me. I already knew I loved you." Zechs went on. "I think you began to love me but were afraid to admit it."

"Zechs, you do know this is Quatre's office?" Duo remembered what was bothering him.

"I locked the door." Zechs reminded him, looking a bit surprised at the change of subject.

Duo was struggling to get up but Zechs kept a firm hold and kissed him again. "Security cameras." Duo managed to gasp out as he pulled away from a surprised Zechs.

"Security cameras." Zechs repeated as he sat up slowly, letting Duo move away, and Duo nodded from a safe distance, his brain beginning to clear a bit now that he wasn't in Zechs' arms.

"Quatre has a safe and his computer in here, and security cameras."

"I don't care who knows how I feel about you." Zechs answered, not bothering to look around the room for the cameras. "But I would prefer more privacy." Zechs started to reach for Duo again.

There was a discrete knock on the door, quickly followed by a sharper, harder knock, and Trowa's voice."Une wants to talk to both of you, it seems that Wufei has found your stalker, Zechs and would like to explain it all to you. "

Trowa paused and said in a voice that sounded amused. "Oh, and Quatre says to remember that 'you are the security expert, Duo.' The announcement was followed by silence from both Zechs and Duo. They heard laughter and Trowa's footsteps walking away down the hall.

"I guess we should call Une," Duo said, looking at Zechs who nodded his agreement though his expression plainly said it wasn't what he really wanted to do. Duo was happy to know that the threat to Zechs had been taken care of. Wufei would be thorough and relentless in removing everyone responsible.

"And then we can take our discussion elsewhere, as soon as we've talked to her." Zechs added firmly. It was Duo's turn to nod in silent agreement.


Later, much later in the comfort and privacy of Zechs' apartment which wasn't at all what Duo had imagined, Duo lay in Zechs' arms and reveled in the feeling of being happy and sated. It had been even better than Duo had remembered and imagined.

Zechs' idea of a discussion had been to thoroughly kiss Duo into submission, then tell and show him how much he loved him. In the safety of Zechs' arms Duo found the courage to to accept that love and tell Zechs the truth. That he'd been afraid and that he did love Zechs.

Finally telling Zechs that he loved him was difficult, more difficult than three small words that had already been said to him should be. Duo had never said them to anyone else; saying them made him feel lighter, happier, better. Zechs' reaction to the words made him feel better still, if unable to frame coherent words for a time.

"I love you." Duo knew the magic of those three words was more than physical but they produced a very satisfying physical response from Zechs every time he repeated them; and repeating them was easier each time. Being with Zechs, being in love with and loved by Zechs was like finally coming home.


[ch. 10] [back to BleedToBlues' fic]