I wrote this silly
fic for the 1x2ML April fic contest. The topic was 'sounds kinky but isn't.'
And this is the idea that just popped into my head. ^_^
Wufei was bored. They'd been
stuck in the same safehouse for a week, and he'd already read everything
he could get his hands on in the small house. They were so far out in
the country they didn't even have television to amuse themselves. He'd
gone digging in his room and had found a deck of cards. Thinking he could
win some money off his fellow pilots, he'd gone looking for them.
He'd stopped by Quatre and Trowa's room first, but the sounds emanating
from within had made him pause. He had felt slightly faint as he realized
that the two had obviously found their own cure for the boredom. Trying
not to picture what was going on inside, he hurried down the hall to Heero's
and Duo's room. At least he knew nothing would be going on in there. Heero
and Duo had never expressed any interest in each other, other than friendship.
He raised his hand, about to knock, when he heard voices inside.
"It's hopeless, Hee-chan. Look at it. It's all limp and lifeless!"
"And what do you want me to do about it?" said Heero in that
nasally voice of his.
"I want you to get your ass over here and help me, Yuy," the
Wufei's eyes widened. Masaka. Not them too!
He heard Heero heave a long, suffering sigh. "Why do I have to help
you with this, baka?"
"Because it's your fault. You used the last of the strawberry gel."
Wufei felt faint.
"You told me to use it. You said it would help me get mine under
Duo snorted. "That was some pretty potent stuff. It should have helped
you control it, but I guess yours is just too wild for it, ne?"
There was silence for a long moment. Wufei knew he should leave, eavesdropping
was not honourable. However, morbid curiosity held him in place.
He heard a rustling sound he couldn't quite identify before Heero said,
"Damn. You're right. It is limp. I can't get it to stay up."
"Ow! Stop that! What're you trying to do? Rip it from my body?"
"It's dull too. Did you even clean it?"
"Of course I cleaned it. What do you take me for, an idiot? Wait.
Don't answer that."
"I have an idea."
"What?" Wufei heard Duo ask warily.
"I got this trick from Relena. She said giving it one hundred strokes
should put some life into it."
"What the hell were you doing with Relena when she gave you this
"I'd rather not talk about it. The memory is still too painful."
Duo giggled, but it quickly turned into a moan as Heero began whatever
it was he had in mind. "Ooooh, Hee-chan. You have about a thousand
years to stop doing that."
"You like that, do you?"
Wufei felt his heart pounding in his chest. His pants suddenly felt too
"Heero," Duo mewed pitifully, "what...what number are you
"You're right." Duo was practically purring. "There's definitely
more life to it now."
Again, the two inside were silent for several moments before Duo almost
yelped in pain. "Youch! Not too fast, Hee-chan. Nice and slow. That's
"I think you are enjoying this way too much," Heero said softly.
"You know what this does to me, Heero," Duo replied throatily.
"What number are you on now?"
Wufei almost fell over. From the other side of the door he could hear
Heero count softly to himself as he finished his... strokes. Wufei gulped,
imagining the Japanese man slowly and sensuously stroking the beautiful
American's... he couldn't even think of the words without feeling light
"Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred."
"Heero," the long-haired pilot whined. "Do you really have
"It's not limp any more. Let's see if it'll stay up this time."
Again, Wufei heard the somewhat familiar rustling sound, followed by a
"YES! Heero! Oh GOD thank you!"
Duo's exclamation was too much for the Chinese pilot. Images of the violet-eyed
boy writing in ecstasy beneath Heero's hand overloaded his brain. Blood
started gushing from his nose, and the abrupt blood loss caused him to
faint. Duo looked up from his glomp on Heero as he heard a loud thud right
outside their door. Grabbing his braid to make sure it wasn't going to
fall out of the band Heero had just tied on the end, he quickly walked
to the door. Opening it, he found Wufei sprawled unconscious in a pool
of his own blood.
"Wu-bear! Heero, is he ok?"
The Wing pilot bent down next to his fallen comrade and checked his pulse.
"He just fainted. Help me move him to his room."
Together the two boys placed Wufei in his bed and left him to get a good
night's rest. Returning to their own room, Duo once again glomped his
"Thanks for helping me in my time of need, Hee-chan."
"Hn. Remember to pick up some more of that hair gel when we go into
town. And next time you have a limp hair crisis, remember, one hundred
strokes with a hair brush should bring it back to life."
"I will! Thank you for brushing my hair for me. And I still want
to hear how you learned that from Relena," Duo said, smirking and
wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Duo! Omae o korosu!"
[back to Caroline's fic]