Category: Duo POV, shounen ai? yaoi? someone wanna remind me of the difference
again? ^_^o, sap
Warnings: lime-ish, AU, masturbation
Arc: part of the Angels arc
Disclaimer: I do not own GW. I've got my fingers crossed, though....
Notes: This is a sequel to 'Ricochet'. It'll
probably make sense if you haven't read the other fics in the arc, but
don't blame me if it doesn't. ^_^
This was written for Sharona's first ever Moment
of Rapture contest which she bugged me to enter *grin* and which is
why this fic is dedicated to her, along with Suzume...
Love wasn't at all what I expected
it to be.
My unrequited love for Heero Yuy had gone pretty much according to the
age old rules of misery and lustful longing. 'Love' (capital L-o-v-e)
was fireworks and dancing in the streets and heart pounding ardour. At
least that's what I'd always thought. You could have knocked me over with
a feather when I realized the difference Heero Yuy's love made in me.
For the first time in my life, I was calm. It's like I finally had something
to be fighting for besides revenge because in the glow of Heero's smile
I was finally at peace.
The grimmest reaper.
Maybe if I had ever even entertained the possibility that Heero Yuy might
love me back, I would have been better prepared. As it was, I could
still barely believe it. Each day waking up in his arms was like the first.
Hell, I was even starting to turn into a morning person. I think I could
have spent eternity watching him sleep beside me, our limbs so intertwined
that I could hardly tell his from mine. He was perfection, right down
to his chocolate brown hair which, amazingly, could simply not
Heero, on the other hand, was much more practical. Awake, he couldn't
seem to just be. His was a body in motion -- every waking second
he had something to do. I'm sad to say, however, that one of those things
was not me.
Just having him near me, being able to touch him whenever I wanted to,
was enough to make me believe that dying now wouldn't be so bad even if
I was going to hell in a handbasket, but... well, I've always been a tactile
person. Was it so awful of me to want something more than nearness?
I knew instinctively that he wasn't ready for anything hot and heavy.
He still had trouble holding my hand, for chrissakes. And I was
ok with that. As libidinous as I might appear, sex was something I could
live without. Life was pretty much engrossing as it was. Not a lot of
time to contemplate how best to get your rocks off when you're fighting
for the future of humanity as you knew it. No -- what really got me was
that he still wouldn't touch me. Not unless I touched him first. That
was all well and good, and I wouldn't have given it up for a lifetime's
worth of pocky, but it was rather one-sided.
I knew he cared about me. My god, how could I not know. Just the
way he said my name made me feel that my sole purpose in life, in spite
of appearances, was to love and be loved by Heero Yuy. I was also more
than aware that he wanted me. You're just gonna have to trust me on that
one. *wink* And I recognized full well that for him to have admitted any
emotion at all, let alone love, was a one in a million sort of
Patience, however, has never been one of my virtues.
Who would have thought it would be so difficult to seduce someone who
was already in love with you?
By the time gym class was over, I had come to terms with the fact that
Heero Yuy was simply not human. For a full week, I had employed every
single technique in my tried and true arsenal to get him to lose that
last vestige of control that had laid that 'hands off' schtick on him,
all to no avail. I could have had anybody in the school, by that point,
not that I wanted anyone but him. It was a big boost to my ego to have
half the student body drooling over me and the other half preventing themselves
from doing so through only a supreme act of will. It was when the captain
of the football team made a pass at me that I knew I was good. Damn
good. And I'd even driven myself crazy eating that popsicle.
Think about it...
An all encompassing heat...
... and a sweet, sticky mess by the time you're through.
I'd come in my pants just imagining it. The look on Heero's face when
I'd asked if it'd been good for him, too, more than made up for the fact
that I'd just gotten it on with frozen fruit juice on a stick. But still,
nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Here I was, literally a walking hard
on 24 fucking 7, and Heero Yuy had the audacity to be able to fall asleep
laying beside me.
Hence the whole not-human theory. There really was no other explanation.
And it really made a twisted kind of sense. Sitting in the now empty locker
room, it seemed entirely and unerringly logical.
Spending an hour knocking various balls into an assortment of holes had
done more than its fair share of releasing some of my sexual frustration,
but there's a limit to what such virtuous activities can do for you, no
matter how much they make you sweat. My whole body was alive with sensation.
I was ready and willing and I'd made damned sure I was alone. I've
never had a modest bone in my body, but walking around sporting an erection
that could have bored holes in Gundanium tended to draw the kind of attention
I did my best to stay clear of.
I toed off my shoes and socks, stripping myself bare in a matter of seconds
(what can I say? It's a gift) and made my way to the showers. I hadn't
realized how hot I was until I felt the cool spray of falling water turning
my insides to jelly. How could something so achingly elemental feel so
good? Running my hand down my chest, I gasped as a stray finger brushed
a hyper sensitive nipple. I don't think there's one of you out there who
could blame me for doing it again. At this point, the whole of the award
winning cast of CATS tromping through couldn't have stopped me. It wasn't
long before my hand slid lower, taking hold of the firm flesh it found.
Closing my eyes, I gave myself over to the searing pleasure that rocked
through me as I mapped the expanse of hardness in my grip with my fingers
before setting into a steady rhythm that soon had my knees quaking. I
leaned back against the cool, tiled wall before my legs gave out completely,
powerless to quell the low moans escaping my lips as visions of cobalt
eyes danced in my head. Having been aroused for the better part of the
morning, and damn near all of the afternoon, it took only moments
for the pleasure coursing through me to crescendo, consuming me with an
intensity that was almost painful before leaving me gasping and drained
with Heero's name still echoing in my ears.
Nothing like a frenzied bout of self love before colonial history class.
Chuckling, I raised my fingers to my lips. They had by now been nearly
washed clean, but I could still taste a faint trace of tangy bitterness
on my tongue as I leisurely suckled each one. Five minutes later I was
dressed and on my way -- a little late to be sure, but all in all feeling
like a new man.
The same could not in any way be said for Heero Yuy.
On a good day, Heero Yuy is about as relaxed as a man tightrope walking
over a river of molten lead. Keeping yourself on your toes was, I had
to admit, kind of a useful thing to do when you happened to pilot one
of the six most destructive war machines ever known to man, but there
was a limit to how far you could stretch yourself.
I, myself, was a master of letting go. Sure, my head was populated more
often than not by the screams of the dead and the dying, but my body was
another matter entirely. While Heero sat rigid as a flagpole two rows
in front of me, I sat slumped in my chair as if unaware that I was reclining
on a singularly uncomfortable mass of hard plastic and stretched my legs
out, crossing them as I reveled in the joy of, at least for an hour or
two, not being as horny as a bull toad. Closing my eyes at that point
was probably not he best idea I've ever had because the next thing I knew,
class was over, leaving me grinning sheepishly at one of my more indulgent
teachers as students filed out of the room. By the time I had collected
my vast array of school supplies, which I insisted on buying each
and every time we carried out this school charade if only because they
were so damned useless, I was alone.
Or so I thought until I lifted my head and found myself eye to eye with
It was at times like these that I wondered how I could possibly not
love him. He was unutterably breathtaking. He was also coiled so tight
that some enterprising young engineer could have used him to power half
"Ne... What's up, Heero?"
I hadn't exactly expected a long, intensive dialogue on the state of his
affairs, but it would have been immeasurably less brutal on my poor heart
that his actual response, which was to stalk towards me.
And to just clarify things here, that wasn't a 'good' stalk. This wasn't
a 'where have you been all my life, you gorgeous thing, you, come give
me some good lovin' kind of stalk.
This was a 'you are sooo dead meat' stalk.
Which is why before I knew it I was on my feet and backing away from him
with my hands raised before me as if anything I did could prevent that
swift ass beating I knew was coming my way on wicked wings of pain. Thing
was, I had some idea of why he was so pissed off and, truth be told, I
didn't blame him. Inconspicuous I've never been, but my behavior of this
past week had been so blatant that years from now they'd still be talking
about me. I'd fully surpassed my previous high score for sticking out
like a sore thumb by leaps and bounds, and now it was time to pay the
"Now, Heero... Don't wanna fly off the handle, here."
Nothing. And seeing as how my back had just found the wall, there wasn't
even a slim hope of escaping him. Not that there ever had been, but a
guy likes to delude himself into thinking that there was at least some
small chance he might avoid being pounded into oblivion. I lowered my
hands, pushing them back like I could propel myself through what was,
after all, annoyingly solid brick and mortar.
"No harm done, really." My laughter was a bit forced, even to
my own ears.
He didn't stop until he was so close to me that at any other time I wouldn't
have been able to resist taking advantage of his proximity.
"Just a bit of fun..."
His eyes were unbearably blue and unfathomably deep as he glared at me,
placing one hand to either side of my shoulders as if I was going somewhere.
It seemed an eternity before he opened his mouth to speak and, when he
did, every bit of air I'd been able to force into my lungs was gone as
if I had never learned to breathe.
"I saw you," he said.
His voice was low and vibrant, more like a growl than anything else.
"I've watched every move you made. I can taste you from across the
room. The feel of your skin has been etched into my fingers."
He leaned closer still until I began to fall so deep and so fast into
those two pools of cobalt that I couldn't think for the vertigo.
"What do you want from me?"
I closed my eyes, keeping them shut for several moments as I felt the
lost tone in his voice wash over me.
What did I want from Heero Yuy? What more could I possibly ask for? I
had his trust, his respect, his friendship, and his love. What more could
But these were not the words that came out of my mouth. Opening my eyes,
I heard my voice as if it were not me who had spoken and my voice said,
The moment my mouth stopped moving, the very second the last syllable
of that vibrating word had fallen from me, his lips were on mine.
I've kissed Heero before. Hell, kissing Heero was my newest favourite
hobby. I couldn't get enough of him. I kissed Heero as often as possible,
as if my life depended on it, but it was not until this instant that I
realized it truly did.
He moved against me hungrily, his tongue working wonders in the warm heat
of my mouth as he swallowed my impassioned moans, driving me to heights
I had never dreamed existed. I was dimly aware of my knees giving way,
of him gently cupping my chin as I slid down the wall, powerless to do
anything but abandon myself to Heero Yuy's love.
With a kiss, Heero had shattered every preconception of bliss I had ever
With a kiss, Heero had melded his soul to mine.
He pulled back with a sigh and when he opened his eyes I could not speak
for the depth of emotion I found there.
He walked away from me, then, leaving me collapsed and quaking against
the classroom wall.
Since then, I suppose you could say I've mellowed a bit. I still want
Heero Yuy as much as I ever did, but there is a part of me that is scared
to death at what having him would really mean.
Heero's kiss set off something deep inside of me for which I don't yet
have a name. For the first time, Heero had held nothing back. I had asked
for everything and Heero, out of love or need, had given it to me. In
the process, he had left me reeling from the magnitude of what it was
we were doing. A whole new world lay open before us and, as much as I
wanted to be there, I was petrified to take the next step.
This was love.
And it wasn't at all what I'd expected.
to Dacia's fic]