very (cont)

+

He woke up during the night to Duo's caresses. Somewhere along the line, the boy's embarrassment had evaporated leaving him a willing and eager pupil. His enthusiasm was incredible, even exhausting. Heero couldn't get over how beautiful Duo was. At times, he would regret his decision to bed Duo so soon. Hadn't he sworn to get to know him first? But then the pressure of Duo's lips on the small of his back would scatter such thoughts to the winds and after, when they rested, he had looked into Duo's eyes and realized he did know him. As strange as it seemed, he knew Duo inside and out, just as he had promised to himself. It was as if he had always known him. Yet it had all happened so fast. And he was Duo's first. Duo was just a boy. Heero's love was strong and true, but what of his? Would he be satisfied with Heero after having had his horizons broadened? Heero couldn't compare it with his own experience. He'd been 14 when he'd lost his virginity to his older brother's best friend. Love had had nothing to do with it. Eric had systematically seduced him and he, libidinous youth that he had been, had eagerly let it happen. But this ... Heero knew even then his heart might still be broken. And Duo, full of a sweetness and gentleness the likes of which Heero had never known, kissed away his tears.

+

Waking to Duo's kiss was heaven, pure and simple. Heero was very tired. And very happy. A part of him was afraid of how happy he was, but it was a small part and he didn't pay it much mind.

"So... did I live up to your expectations?"

"Boy, did you ever!"

"Stop talking like that." Heero flashed him a brilliant smile. He had an arsenal of smiles and he knew perfectly well how they affected people. The joy in his heart must have made this one particularly intense. Duo positively basked. "You're making me feel old."

"Old?" The boy ran his hands over Heero in a very possessive manner. "I've never seen anyone so perfect. If I had my way, we'd never leave this bed. I could fuck you until eternity."

"That's a very pleasant thought," responded Heero, "but not exactly practical."

A very pleasant thought. Even though he had figured himself totally drained, he felt the first twinges of his overly healthy libido stoking hearthfires and holocausts somewhere in the region of his groin.

"However," he continued, his smile becoming a rather stirring leer. "I don't see why we couldn't live out this little fantasy for as long as humanly possible."

Duo said nothing in response, simply ran his hands lower and lower down Heero's body until he gasped.

"You're awfully good at this for one so new to it."

"I've had an excellent teacher," replied Duo with a straight face. "And he's hung, too."

+

Eventually, they did get out of bed. Duo had to get home. He had school tomorrow. Heero felt like a very dirty, very horny old man.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he said as he drove Duo home.

"What? It's not that far a drive."

"Not that, silly." Heero flashed him a smile that, unbeknownst to him, set Duo's heart pounding. "I mean I can't believe I've taken up with a kid in high school. High school, for chrissakes."

"Think of it this way," said Duo with a luscious grin as he placed an artful hand between Heero's legs. "High school is the only place you could possibly find someone to keep up with you in bed."

"Stop that. You'll make me have an accident."

"It'll wash out."

"Not that, you incubus. I meant the car."

"Well, I'm sure it'll come out of the car, too."

Heero stopped at a light and turned to study Duo, his expression unreadable.

"What?" said Duo. He pulled his hand away, scared that he'd gone too far over the line.

"I ..."

Heero couldn't say it. I love you. It seemed so simple. But he couldn't open himself up like that. Handing Duo something like that could be the death of him. The boy could kill him without even knowing it. So instead, he leaned close, pulled Duo to him and kissed him hungrily, releasing him only when the car behind them began to honk.

"You keep on like this," he laughed, "and I'll never let you go home."

Duo's blue eyes gleamed with happiness.

+

After he'd dropped Duo off, he drove straight to Quatre's.

"You just had to come over and flaunt your conjugal bliss, didn't you?" Quatre smiled indulgently. You'd never think it to look at them, but he was two years younger.

"Bliss?" snorted Heero. His hands were shaking. He knew if he tried to stand now, it would be impossible. "I'm scared to death."

"That's not the point."

Quatre stood leaning against a window overlooking the sea. He was framed by the setting sun, the waning light turning his blonde hair to gold. Heero thought he looked like an angel.

"You're supposed to be scared. Haven't you ever heard love sucks? Did you think people just said that for the hell of it? Love is hell, my friend. Don't kid yourself that it's not."

Heero buried his face in his hands. He wanted to curl up in a little ball until he disappeared, but he couldn't seem to move.

"Don't look so sad," continued Quatre.

Heero could hear the smile in Quatre's voice and wondered why, after all this time, he hadn't fallen in love with him. That would make sense. This didn't.

"Look at me, baby."

Heero raised his head almost unwillingly. He sensed his own melodramaticism fleetingly.

"Doesn't it make you happy to think of this boy? Didn't you tell me how he feels about you?"

Heero felt his gloom lift a bit, despite himself.

"And wasn't the sex great?"

"Fantastic," corrected Heero with a small grin he tried hard to smother. The grin widened. "Incredible. Brilliant. What that kid can do with his ..."

"Enough. I don't want to know." He thought that over a bit. "Actually, I do want to know, but I'll end up kicking myself if I let you tell me."

Heero pulled the last of his soul out of the pit of despair as he remembered his friend.

"How long till Trowa gets back?"

"Three long weeks," sighed Quatre. "I've had to stop myself twice now from hijacking a plane and tracking him down through the streets of London." He smiled again, this time ironically. "Didn't I say love was hell? I miss him so much my teeth ache." He sighed. "But what else can we do but suffer?"

"We could go to bed," suggested Heero.

Quatre couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

"Stop thinking with your dick. You're in love. That means no more screwing around. It's monogamy for you, pal."

"I know," replied Heero.

"When do you see him again?"

"Tomorrow. But only for a few hours. His parents keep a strict watch."

"And so they should," pointed out Quatre. "17 years old. Part of me, the horny gay part, is jealous as hell."

Heero felt the blood return to his limbs as he allowed himself to believe that he had captured his own flash of starlight and, if he tried very, very hard, he might somehow keep it in his hands.

+

He picked Duo up at school the next day, feeling very much the criminal.

"God, is it good to see you!" cried Duo as he threw his pack into the car and himself at Heero. He embraced him awkwardly over the stick shift. "I almost thought last weekend was a dream. I couldn't believe I had you, that you were mine. I've been walking on sunshine all day. Can we go back to your place? If I don't get some good lovin' soon, I'm gonna burst."

Heero laughed at the bundle of youthful adolescence that sat beside him. "How are we supposed to build a lasting relationship if all you want to do is have sex?"

"Hey, baby..." He blushed charmingly as he said the word and Heero felt his heart skip a beat. "You've gotta remember I'm 17. A walking hormone. I give you express permission to delve into my soul right after that gorgeous tool between your legs delves into me."

"Are all teenagers so crude?"

"Why? It bother you?"

He cast a fond glance to Duo.

"And here I thought I was corrupting you."

+

Sex with Duo was something Heero had no experience with. Physical pleasure is one thing. This was so far beyond mere pleasure that Heero lay totally shattered afterwards. Something in the way Duo touched him sent Heero through the roof.

"God damn!" said Duo as he collapsed, trying to catch his breath. "Is sex always like this?"

"Only with you," Heero answered truthfully.

Duo lay silent. Heero steeled himself for the question he knew was coming.

"You been with many men?"

No use denying it. "Yes."

More silence.

"Duo ..."

"Yeah?"

"You OK?"

"Sure. I ... I just can't imagine you doing this with someone else. I get this pain in my chest when I think about it."

"Then don't think about it. As long as you're around, there's not even a chance I could want another man."

"What do you mean, 'as long as I'm around'?"

Heero remained on his back staring at the ceiling as Duo crept closer, pulled up and draped himself across his chest. The fact that Heero felt he could not breathe properly had nothing to do with the additional weight on his lungs.

"What do you mean?" repeated Duo. "How long have I got till you throw me over?"

"Jesus, Duo ..."

"How long!"

Duo sat up, forced Heero to look at him.

"I'm just a toy to you, right?"

Heero couldn't quite believe he was remaining so calm. Must be the lack of oxygen. "Is that what you really think?"

Duo blinked away the tears in his eyes, angry with himself for crying. "What else can I think? Jesus, Heero, I'm just a kid. How can I compare with all those guys you've had? What have I got to offer you besides my body? Hell, I don't even know how to do anything other than what you've shown me."

Heero was paralyzed. So soon? Already? But he knew if he didn't do something now, Duo would slip away from him and that sheer horror of that thought made it easier to say the words.

"Duo ... I love you."

There was no turning back now. But had there ever been?

"I love you so much it hurts. The thought of not having you near me makes me want to die. Can you even understand what that means? You're the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on. All I can think is that you won't be happy with me. I've been in a hell of doubt ever since I first saw you. I've had sex with more men that I can remember, but I've never made love to anyone but you."

He didn't realize he, too, was crying until he tasted the salt of his own tears.

"You love me?"

Heero couldn't bring himself to answer, closed his eyes. Hadn't he said enough?

"You love me." Duo kissed his eyelids. "You love me." And the tip of his nose. "You love me." And his lips. "Make love to me, Heero."

Heero growled with passion as he flipped Duo onto his back and pinned him down against the long fan of his hair.

"Say you love me."

"Love you?" Duo was too happy to smile. "I've always loved you. I was born to love you. Life was nothing to me until I loved you."

He felt Heero hard against his stomach, and now he did smile.

"Now will you make love to me?"

+

Heero didn't mind dropping Duo off two hours later. It didn't even matter that he couldn't see him again till the weekend. Duo loved him. Duo. Loved him. He couldn't get over it. Every time he thought about it, he quivered deep down inside.


+

Every weekend they spent together, a good half of that time in bed. It was perfect. Imagine Heero's surprise when he opened the door one fine Tuesday afternoon to find Duo on his doorstep in tears.

"Jesus!" He pulled Duo into the apartment and held him close. "What's wrong?"

When Duo didn't reply, he led him further into the room and, after seating him on the sofa, went into the kitchen to get some ice water. As he searched the cupboards for a glass, he couldn't stop his hands from shaking. Somehow, he stopped his trembling and, taking a deep breath, returned to Duo who seemed to be in shock.

"Drink."

Duo took the glass like a sleepwalker, raised it to his lips, and then placed it on the table in front of him.

"My parents threw me out."

"What?!" And then, a second later, "Why?"

"I told them. About you."

Heero was stunned.

"And they threw you out cuz you're dating an older guy?"

"Cuz I'm dating a guy."

"Didn't they know? What have you been telling them?"

"I lied." Duo seemed to be talking from somewhere very far away. "But all the lies added up. They caught me. And I told them."

Heero leaned back, collapsed and closed his eyes. He reached out a hand and Duo took it. He was cold. Heero brought Duo's hand to his chest and opened his eyes.

"So when do we pick up your stuff?"

Duo broke into tears, his whole body was wracked by sobs. He threw himself into Heero's arms and held on so tight Heero thought his ribs would break.

"Duo ... You didn't think I'd turn you out, did you?"

"I ... I ... I didn't want to ask you. I thought maybe you wouldn't want me around all the time."

Heero sighed. Suddenly, this didn't seem so bad at all. Selfishness is always good to brighten your day.

"Baby ..." He pulled back as far as he could and looked deep into Duo's frightened eyes. "What's the last thing I said to you on the phone last night?"

"You love me."

"Yeah. Did you think that was just my quaint was of ending a conversation?"

Duo relaxed a little, stopped crying.

"From the first moment I saw you, I've wanted to take you and never let you go. Now you're mine. And no one can take you from me."

Duo smiled faintly.

"How am I supposed to be upset if you make it all seem so perfect?"

"Well, that's the point, lover."

+

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