very (cont)

+

They had gone to the new all ages club uptown. Trying to sneak Duo into Heero's regular haunts had proved to be impossible. At his best, Duo looked his age. At all other times, he looked a year or two younger. This new place was just this side of making Heero feel old again, but he let it slide. On a good night, Heero could dance Duo into the ground, but tonight was Duo's turn to shine. The energy flew off his gyrating body in streams, like waves of heat off a desert highway. Heero watched him from the bar to which he had made an orderly retreat to rest his legs and catch his breath. Duo was dancing with a tall Asian adonis with bleached blonde hair. The pangs of jealousy which used to plague him as he had watched former lovers in this type of situation was curiously absent from his cobalt eyes. At best, you could say that Heero gloated. He knew from experience that Duo didn't have eyes for anyone but him. Sure enough, a second later Duo caught his gaze through the crowd and it was plain that as far as he was concerned there was no one else in the room. He made his way through the throng and soon was standing at Heero's side.

"Hey, bro," he said with a thoroughly blinding smile. He almost had to yell to make himself heard over the pounding music. "You're looking pretty humpy tonight."

"Thanks, bro."

"You feel like getting a bro a drink?"

"I don't know, bro. What's in it for me?"

Duo sidled closer to grind his hips against Heero's groin.

"I'll think of something, bro."

Heero felt as high as kite. Who need alcohol with Duo around? He handed his glass to Duo, but the boy shook his head.

"Give it to me straight, bro."

There was a glint in his eye that made the guy next to Heero choke on his Perrier. Heero took a mouthful of his juice and, pressing his lips to Duo's, let him drink.

"That," said Duo, "was delicious, bro. Now how about taking me home and fucking me till I'm sore?"

"I thought you'd never ask, bro."

Heero laughed at the stares they got as they left the club. Duo had a playful streak a mile wide. If it didn't sound so incestuous, Heero would have said he was proud.

+

It was sometime during the night that Duo told Heero that he had decided to see his folks again. Heero had known he would, but had not wanted to say anything until the boy had told him himself. Duo had rested his head on Heero's chest and breathed the words into his skin.

"You'll come with me?"

Heero traced the line of Duo's spine.

"Duo, I am with you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I'm there."

"It won't be fun," continued Duo. "I can't promise you dad won't go mental."

"I can handle it," said Heero supportively, although he was not at all sure that he could.

+

Solo came back over the weekend, this time with his parents approval. He'd been lucky enough not to have been caught playing hooky. That plus the fact that Duo was coming home again, if only for the evening, made him hyper.

"Calm down, Solo," laughed Heero. "If you don't stop streaking around like your tail was on fire, I'm gonna have to sit on you."

Solo smiled and sat down for at least two seconds before hopping to his feet again.

"You just have no concept of how cool this is," he tried to explain. "Since Duo's been gone, nothing's been the same. It's like mom and dad have been replaced with pod people or something."

"Hate to burst your bubble, boy-o, but I sincerely doubt everything's gonna go back to normal just cuz I'm coming home for dinner."

Duo had been high-strung and preoccupied all week, but at times he almost acted like his normal self. Heero almost felt a traitor as he wished that Duo could have been a little older and more mature. At 24, he wasn't always up to dealing with Duo and his adolescent mood swings. But Heero had never been one to be selfish, especially when it concerned someone who had the key to his heart emblazoned on his flesh. Duo, who uncannily seemed to know whenever Heero was thinking about him, looked his way and all of Heero's thoughts simply melted away.

"You gonna be OK?"

"I was just going to ask you the same thing," replied Heero.

Duo turned away, satisfied although Heero hadn't answered the question. Truth was, he was not OK. This situation they were going into was just the kind he tried, as a general rule, to stay clear of. He glanced to his watch and then stood up.

"We'd better get going. I don't think your folks would appreciate it if we were fashionably late."

Heero felt his knees go weak but in the next instant he could tackle the reality of movement without crumbling. Solo, chock full of nervous energy, shot out to the car, but Duo and Heero, for reasons of their own, made their way at a more leisurely pace. At the door, Heero pulled Duo to him and kissed him, holding him as close as he could without hurting him.

"You sure you want to go through with this?"

Duo nodded slowly and kissed him back.

"God, you taste good," he whispered.

He clung to Heero a moment longer.

"Whatever happens, I just want you to think how much I love you."

"Ditto," smiled Heero.

He was heartened by Duo's courage and fortitude. What hell was he going through? Heero couldn't begin to imagine. He felt Duo's pain, but it wasn't the same as experiencing it first hand. All he could do was be there to pick up the pieces again and try hard not to remember that it was because of him that he'd been broken in the first place.

+

Duo's house was relatively unprepossessing, Heero though, considering that the love of his life had spent his first 17 years there. It could have been any house on the street except for the hold it had over Duo.

"Home again, home again," he sighed.

Heero followed Duo and Solo up to the entrance and closed the door behind them once they'd gone inside.

"Mom!" called Solo. "We're here!"

A woman came out of the kitchen. Heero stifled a nervous chuckle. She looked like a marine. A very pretty, very mothering, very ... effectual marine.

"Duo?"

She said his name as if she had thought, perhaps, she would never use it again.

"Mom."

Duo smiled falteringly. Heero thought perhaps Duo might rush into his mother's arms, but something was holding him back. Realizing it was probably him, Heero gave him a push towards her.

"Mom."

The boy didn't cry, but he was close to tears. He hadn't wanted it to mean this much, but it was obvious in he way he crushed his mother in his arms that it did. Her eyes over Duo's shoulder settled on Heero.

"You must be Heero."

Her voice wasn't as hostile as he figured it might be. But it wasn't anywhere near friendly, either. Was he the bad man in this little reunion? The one who had snatched their angel to a life of sin and depravity? Surely things like that only happened on TV. Heero shook his head wearily. This, he thought, will be a long night. He wished he could not have come. Quatre was right. Love sucks.

Solo took his arm, leaving Duo in his mother's embrace, and led him into the den.

"Dad," he said, "this is Heero."

He held Heero out like he was a Cracker Jack prize. Duo's father was a handsome man. Heero saw more of him in Duo that the woman in the hall. His eyes were the same crystal, almost violet, blue, his hair the same chesnut brown. It was the hardness around the mouth that surprised Heero and made him remember where he was and who this was standing so menacingly before him.

"Sir."

He held out his hand, half afraid the man wouldn't take it. For a moment, it seemed he was right. He heard his heart pounding above the low music and felt he might be sick. But then there was a strong hand in his own, crushing the life back into him.

"Call me Steve."

At least it was a start.

"Solo, go help your mother."

His eyes were locked on Heero, but Solo didn't hesitate. With one final glance to Heero, he left the room. Steve eyed him as if he were another species of life.

"You don't look like a fruit," he said bluntly.

Heero smiled pleasantly. "Would you like me to swish a little for you?" [1]

Heero couldn't be sure, but he thought perhaps Steve's colour had heightened at his remark. He tried to stop the words flowing from his mouth, but seemed possessed.

"Would it have helped if I'd worn my Vivienne Westwood? Maybe some lipstick?"
The man opposite him was taking him seriously. My god, he's actually taking me seriously. Heero wanted to laugh, but knew he would dissolve into hysterics so he steeled himself against whatever it was that was making him act like this.

"I was kidding, Steve. Good god ..." He sat down heavily on the brown leather sofa. "Do you think I could have a drink?"

Steve nodded and, without asking what it was that Heero would prefer, poured him a neat scotch which Heero downed with one gulp.

"Thanks."

Steve stood stiffly near the fireplace.

"Tell me," began Heero after an eternal silence, "do you love Duo?"

"Do I ... Do I love ..."

Steve came to sit across from him.

"Young man, do you have any idea what it is you represent to me? You and ... you and Duo?"

Heero bit back the witticism that had popped into his mind, deciding it would perhaps be much, much better if he remained silent.

"You represent a perversion. You represent sin. What you are and what you do ... it goes against nature and it goes against God."

Heero smiled sweetly. This was more like it. In the light of this open hostility, he felt his control coming back.

"Yes," he nodded. "Of course. But do you love Duo?"

"He's my eldest son. He's my hope for the future, he's -- "

"I'll take that as a no," broke in Heero.

Steve was growing angry. Heero could see the fire building in his eyes, but he wasn't afraid.

"How dare you -- "

"No, sir. How dare you. Do you have any idea what you did to him? What you're doing to him now? The pain he's in is enough to break my heart. I do love Duo, Sir. I cannot comprehend ever causing him pain. But you ... you and your morals and your ethics have struck him to the soul. How could you do it? How could you be so cruel?"

Heero was saved Steve's reply by the entrance of Duo's mother. He seemed to recall her name was Margaret. She and Steve made a very ... formidable couple.

"Dinner's ready," she announced.

Heero wasn't aware of the tension that had built up until he attempted to stand and felt it push down on him. It was only when he had found the strength to stand that he realized Steve hadn't seen Duo yet. No -- more than that. He hadn't even wanted to see Duo. This was all so confusing. Was this what the rest of the world was going through? No wonder he had run into such incomprehensible wariness in his lovers over the years. Being gay for him had always been natural, real. And now he began to see himself through another person's eyes. It wasn't what he saw through them that made him recoil inside, but the eyes themselves. He knew then that Steve could never like or respect or even tolerate him. He knew then that Steve would hate him not because he was a bad person or had done him some insurmountable wrong, but simply because of his sexuality. And what was worse, what made Heero sit silent through the entire meal, was that Steve had undeniably consigned Duo to Heero's realm -- that he now hated the son he had once loved. In an instant, 17 years of love had winked out of existence.

Heero didn't realize he had withdrawn so much, but almost too quickly it was time to leave. Heero had to stop himself from running out of this house, dragging Duo and their love away from all this horrible close-mindedness. They were both silent as they drove away, silent as they entered the apartment that was now a home, silent as Duo took Heero's hand, silent as they made love. It wasn't until many hours later that Duo spoke.

"It wasn't what I thought it would be," he said.

Heero had known that Duo had not been shattered by his father's continued rejection of him. He was glad of it, but he didn't know how or why.

"I've changed. I don't need him anymore. I don't need them anymore." Duo spoke with wonder in his voice and pressed himself closely against the length of Heero's body. "I only need you. I only need us." He wrapped his arms around Heero and held him tightly. "Tell me that you love me. Say that you love me."

Heero stared off into the semi-darkness and was struck by a sudden thought. He was in love. This was not the love of a month or a year. He suddenly realized that this love was forever. It seemed so odd that he hadn't seen it before. It had all felt so right. Duo wasn't like something that had been added to him, but something that completed him. He had said the words before and he would say them many times again, but never with the feeling of this one moment.

"I love you."

Duo burned at his side. He burned with passion and joy and hope. Heero felt tears on his cheeks before he knew he was crying.

"I love you so very much ... so very ..."

end

[1] I *ahem* appropriated this line from a favourite book of mine -- Here There Be Dragons by Robert Bentley

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