Pairing: 1+2+1/1x2x1; reference to past 1xR, R+1.
Disclaimer: If I owned GW, I would be happy. I am happy. But to draw the
conclusion that I own GW from those statements would be to affirm the
consequent, and would therefore be an invalid argument. See?
Warnings: Part 22 has a 2x1 lemon warning. For other warnings see individual
Notes: Yes folks, we finally made it! I just hope *someone* out there
still cares... ^^;;; This is the most difficult thing I've ever written,
I'm certain of that. I just hope I managed to get it done in a satisfactory
manner. And now maybe H and D will talk to me again! ^^'
+ Part 22
Heero let his initial anger
ebb and let himself think about the situation sensibly. There wasn't,
he realised, a great deal he could do. Trowa hadn't been convinced by
Heero's continued confidence in Duo so far; he couldn't see that situation
changing for the better -- rather, just the opposite. Trowa now
clearly thought Heero was blinded to the truth by his feelings for Duo.
Damn! He knew it was stupid to get involved with someone so closely linked
to a case; but Heero trusted his instincts, and this time he wasn't going
to lose faith. Even if it meant losing Trowa on the case.
Still, he didn't think that was likely. Trowa was dedicated; he had been
the first to voice his feelings about the summit, and Heero knew he couldn't
just let that go. No, Trowa would have to just get along with it --
his only other option would be to have Heero removed from the case. But
if he did that... he would have to explain why... That made Heero stop
and think for a moment. Trowa wouldn't tell the truth, would he? He was
one of Heero's oldest friends. He couldn't betray him like that... Heero
wondered. Perhaps he should try to sort it out with Trowa, smooth things
over, ensure his silence... Heero looked at his reflection in the window,
slightly disgusted that he could have thought that. No. He wouldn't sink
to that level. Let Trowa say what he wanted. Heero could deal with the
But still... this was a case they weren't even supposed to be investigating
in the first place. The DCI would put a stop to it immediately. No, Trowa
was a good officer, he wouldn't be able to ignore his own instincts.
Putting his faith in Trowa's dedication to his duty, and a longstanding
friendship that had outlasted more than this, Heero turned away from the
window. He didn't really feel any better about the situation; he needed
and wanted Trowa as his ally in all this. At least, he reflected, Trowa
now knew the truth... Heero was tired of pretending. He remembered Duo's
expression in the park -- Duo wanted the freedom to show his feelings
to anyone and everyone. So many secrets... from Relena, from his superiors,
from all the diplomats and politicians, from the world. He was suddenly
angry at Trowa again for complicating the thing that, with Duo's help,
he felt even vaguely optimistic about.
Heero shook his head. He was going round in circles. He knew he wasn't
going to get any work done this afternoon. He didn't *want* to get any
work done. He wanted to get out of here and cool down. Try to make some
progress, and he knew he couldn't do that at the police station.
Heero put on his coat and picked up his laptop and briefcase before he
could change his mind. He knew that over the past few weeks he'd been
leaving early and taking time off far more than ever before; but he guessed
it was time he was due some reward for all the hours of overtime he'd
put in in the last four years. All the sweat he'd put in to all those
cases. And now this one, that they didn't even want to know about.
He walked out of his office, quietly closing the door after himself. Without
looking directly at any of the other detectives, he walked out of the
main office and down the stairs, daring them to challenge him.
The drive back to the house seemed shorter than usual. Maybe because I
was entirely preoccupied. This weighed on my mind far more than I should
have been letting it; I wanted to forget, I wanted something in my life
to be an element of hope, rather than a knife edge. But I had my hope
in Duo; and I wasn't going to let that be shaken. I knew the situation
with Trowa would be resolved, soon enough; but until then I would do my
best without his help.
It was only three in the afternoon by the time I arrived back; I didn't
expect Relena to be home any time soon, and I felt vaguely relieved at
that thought. I savoured the quiet as I stepped into the hall and took
the opportunity to sit in the living room, just closing my eyes and clearing
I flicked my eyes to the doorway in time to see Duo come in.
"What are you doing here at this time?" He sat down next to
me on the settee.
I half-shrugged. "Another... disagreement with Trowa. He says he's
disappointed and surprised at me 'getting involved with a witness'."
"He's seen us together?" Duo's eyes widened.
"He must've worked it out. But it means he wants me taken off the
"Oh, god. D'you think that's likely?"
"I'm counting on Trowa's own pride as a detective. After all, the
case comes above personal matters. Which he doesn't think I understand."
I ran a hand over my face wearily. "Just when we were actually getting
somewhere... It's frustrating. I seem to have something, but it's like
I always --" I was cut off by his mouth on mine, kissing me
firmly and telling me in no uncertain terms what he thought.
When we broke apart, he rested his forehead against mine, breathing more
heavily. "Just to remind you what you do have, Heero."
He kissed me again, and I reflected how, since I'd met Duo, my life had
been shaken until it was like I was looking at it from the other side.
Or, maybe, I was just looking at it from the inside again, and not moving
through it like I was watching someone else.
One of his hands cupped my face, the other was moving over my chest, stroking
through the fabric of my shirt and heating my skin. He had never felt
this... urgent before, this insistent... The heat of his kiss was spreading
through me and I too couldn't help but be caught up in it, passion filling
me up and spilling over.
Duo moaned into the kiss, breaking away again and panting now, caressing
my cheek with his thumb and holding onto my upper arm with his other hand.
"God, Heero... I know what you're going to say, but... I just can't
help myself..." He smiled a little. "You can't blame a guy for
I didn't say anything. But I leaned in, slowly, and kissed him again;
softly, now, a suggestion of what was going through my mind... Coming
to a decision.
He accepted my tenderness with a shiver; I wasn't sure whether that was
in his own pleasure, or realisation of the effect he was having on me.
And soon the kiss was heating again as he leaned in this time, pressing
me against the sofa, hands busy again, taking off my tie, going for the
buttons at my collar and down... His hands were clumsy with excitement,
and I could feel an increasing heat flowing over my own body in waves...
This time, this time I wasn't going to...
I pulled away.
He didn't want to relinquish my lips, making a noise somewhere between
frustration and desperation, chasing my mouth as I sat back, trying to
keep us apart enough for me to speak.
"No, I don't want to hear it! Just let me have this much,
Heero..." He caught me up and kissed me again, fiercely, but I'd
made up my mind, pushing him away gently.
I tried to get my breath back a little; my voice was low as I spoke.
He didn't say a word. But he froze for a second where our eyes were locked,
him leaning in to me; then, slowly, he pulled back, standing, offering
me his hand. I took it, following him, grabbing my tie off the back of
the settee before we made our way up the stairs, along the hall, down
to his room...
As he closed the door he turned to me, slowly, as though he was afraid
I'd bolt at any sudden movement, like a nervous animal let out of its
cage. He shut his eyes briefly, his lips moving silently a moment; then
his eyes flew open, sudden, and I think I knew he was hoping I would still
be there and not stuck in a dream he'd woken up from.
He turned away again, locking the door, but whether it was to keep anyone
out, or to keep me from leaving...
I sat down on the bed. He looked at me for a long moment, a lopsided smile
on his face, and then before I could blink, he was next to me again and
it was as though we hadn't broken off downstairs. His hands were at my
buttons again, and he was kissing my face and neck again, and I felt heat
rising in us both again.
He pushed me back, so I was lying on his bed, and paused, looking down
on me. "I still can't believe this..." His voice was a husky
whisper. "You." He leant down again and I felt desire rush over
me so strongly I couldn't move.
We kissed slowly now, him pushing my shirt off my shoulders and chest
and running his hands over me; just the simple touch made me even more
Duo wasn't quiet; he moaned against my neck, rocking himself against my
thigh, and it gave me a feeling I couldn't quite describe to know I was
the one making him feel this way.
He knelt up a little for a few moments, taking off his own shirt, and
I fully discarded my own. I felt his eyes, hot on my body; a finger, tracing
the marks on my chest.
"These scars..." He kissed one, before looking up at me, a question
in his expression.
I pulled him to me again. "You don't fight a war like I did without
getting marked." I looked in his eyes.
He gave me a long look that I couldn't quite make out, and kissed me again.
I ran my hands over his own smooth skin, finding none of the raised tissue
of old wounds...
We were both naked soon: he held himself over me, just looking... I felt
strange inside, like only he could make me feel. But it was a good strange,
and excitement, a real, true feeling.
Duo, panting, voice husky, looked down at me. "You're... sure...?"
Just the hint of a question; I think he was still convinced he was in
I nodded, just once, my head back against the pillow, my hands on his
shoulders. He smiled then, and kissed me, grateful, tender, but with no
little promise of his intentions. He knew how I was feeling, the strange
sparking nervousness that fluttered through me; though I wasn't afraid.
"I'll be good to you, Heero," he mumbled against my lips, still
like he was relieved and thanking me. And then he wasn't speaking anymore,
but reassuring me with his hot, gentle touch and double-edged kiss.
We made love for a while like that, then, with tongues and hands; getting
used to each other, learning each other's bodies with taste and touch.
I realised with sudden clarity that I was entirely his. I, simply, was
happy with that.
Gradually his hands worked lower; he had been bold in the past, when he
had been trying to persuade me, but now he was almost timid, like I was
made of glass. I was moved by his gentleness; if I'd thought like Trowa,
if I'd needed reassurance, here was all I would have looked for. Duo touched
me now, though, asking me; I said yes with my kiss, and with my hands
mirroring his. He moaned quietly, softly guttural sounds as my own hands
stroked him... I'd wondered if it might be strange, this man's body under
my touch; but it wasn't something I'd given no thought to, and in my mind
I'd imagined every detail. His heat in my hand, his smoothness... I may
have imagined, but I was intoxicated by the reality. I could feel a tension
increasing like a pressure in my body; and I knew Duo felt it too when
he abruptly pulled away from my kiss, just before I felt like I was going
We panted, hands still, his eyes closed for a moment until he looked at
me, beautiful. He stroked my stomach, then pushed himself off the bed:
"Turn over, I'll be back in a second."
I obeyed, rocking slowly against the bed as he went to the bathroom; I
heard rustling, and then he was back, soothing his hands over my shoulders
and kissing the nape of my neck. I sighed in pleasure at the intimacy.
I knew I was more than close to resolution.
His kisses ceased for a moment, but then his lips returned. "I still...
can't accept this." Whispered against my skin, fingers tracing my
spine, making me shiver. "But, I will..." And then I was aware
of his finger, slick, slowly pressed inside me.
I found myself overwhelmed with a sudden rush of realisation again --
this was it, this was me doing what I had wanted to for what had felt
like so long now! I smiled, my face turned to the side on the pillow,
and Duo leaned down to kiss me.
"God you're perfect this way, you're just perfect." He was breathing
heavily, and I watched out of the corner of my eye as he took his hand
back to put on the condom he'd tossed onto the bedside table.
I closed my eyes and focussed on him, his words, the heat from his body,
the feeling of him... Concentrated on him as I felt him push inside me.
I put aside my inexperience and let Duo take control. He was panting,
kissing my neck, my shoulders, moaning... I pictured him, remembering
him touching himself, in this very room... I closed my eyes, just rocking
my hips slightly against the bed to relieve some of the tension that had
been building in me for weeks. As I moved, I felt Duo take a shuddering
breath, and he made the same motion as me, just a shallow thrust of his
hips, nudging deeper inside me...
"Heero... you OK?"
I smiled at his whisper, nodding to reassure him. He seemed to sigh in
relief, kissing my neck as his movements grew bolder. The heat between
us intensified, I could feel his heartbeat rapid at my back. He was becoming
more vocal, and I loved hearing the passion he gave to my name; I echoed
it back in his own, unable to stop myself responding to the spiralling
pleasure inside me.
I don't think I had quite realised what it would be like, this so-deep
intimacy: there was the physical sensation; there was the knowledge that
we had both wanted this so much, it was achingly good to give in. There
were my own feelings for Duo, which suddenly had a name shining over them,
like it had been there all this time but I had just not noticed. But also,
there were Duo's feelings; I could feel this real, genuine emotion of
anther person, for the first time since... the war, ironically, I realised,
and I could feel it almost violently, welling up inside me and urging
me to hang onto it, heighten it, cherish it as much as I could.
I could feel Duo trembling, even as he made love to me; his pace had quickened,
and I was overloaded with the sensuous friction both outside against the
bed, and inside, between me and Duo.
"Heero... you're amazing, I..." he kissed my neck wetly, I knew
he was close to the edge and so was I... His movements were rapid, jerky,
I felt his hair where it fell over his shoulder and tickled my back, he
mumbled passion syllables against my damp skin, he caressed me. I'd never
felt like this.
I felt myself ready to tip over with the electricity that was running
through my body; and then Duo was crying out as he stiffened, shaking,
against me; and that was all it took before I climaxed, gasping, onto
It was moments later, as I regained a little control of my body, that
I realised I had shut my eyes tight; I opened them, managing a smile,
letting the shocks of pleasure spark through me, savouring this feeling
for the first time. I felt euphoric, and even though I was sticky and
damp, I couldn't help but laugh, breathlessly, out of sheer... happiness.
Duo raised his head from where it had been resting on my shoulder. "Mm?"
I shook my head against the pillow, shifting a little.
Duo sighed, a contented sound. After a few moments I felt him gently leave
my body and move off me, and I rolled over, out of the cooling wetspot
on the bed. We met each other's eyes as we cleaned up, and Duo chuckled.
I smirked. He lay down next to me, and we held each other. It felt so
entirely right that I didn't want to try to find words; just enjoyed the
feeling of... wholeness, like everything had fitted into place and it
was a beautiful, perfectly-crafted world in miniature.
I was well aware that in a matter of minutes it would be hidden from me
again. But at least I knew it was there, I had discovered it, and it was
promised to me for the time when I knew I would be able to take it.
I appreciated that fact, and nothing could shake it.
I felt Duo's warmth against my body, looked into his face next to mine
on the pillow. His eyes were closed, but he opened them as I watched.
He smiled at me. It was an open, genuine expression. Our corner of the
world was exquisite.
"Duo. I love you."
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