Hitched (cont)

It seemed that speculation was over now, and we had moved on to full blown smut in our discussions of Duo's marriage. Inevitable, I supposed; the guys in the office without girls of their own were swift to pounce on anyone who happened to be getting some, and as Duo was so willing to play them at their own game we had no end of innuendo in the office. I was glad the boss' own office was some way down the corridor.

We didn't see Mrs Maxwell again for a while. In fact, we were beginning to wonder if they'd had a fight or something; but then, Duo had been working lots of hours recently. Must've needed the extra cash now he had a woman to keep, Matt conjectured; but Duo had laughed in that strange way again, like he often did at Matt, and said no, Heero had a job too but Duo was trying to finish his latest project in time. After all, he had said, winking, he'd been busy recently. He needed to make up for lost time.

It seemed Matt and I had to as well; I think maybe we all got too preoccupied with our banter to realise we actually needed to do some work too. We took to staying late some nights, catching up on our work so we'd manage to be back on track by Christmas - it wasn't far away now. It was after one of our late nights that we got our first glimpse of Mrs Maxwell in a few weeks.

"Hey, Duo - isn't that your missus' car?" Matt peered out into the darkness.

Duo bounded over. "Yeah! Hey, I wasn't expecting to be picked up today." He checked his watch. "Well, it is after 9, I guess I'm packing it in for tonight. See you guys later!" He grinned as he donned his coat.

"Yeah, have a good night!" Matt winked and Duo laughed as he exited. We watched as he jogged over to the black car, greeting his wife with their customary deep kiss.

Tonight, though, it seemed to be even more passionate than usual. I'd looked away, but turned back when I heard Matt whistle. "Woah, she's keen tonight. Maxwell's in for a good time!"

I laughed, and we watched as they continued to thoroughly greet each other. We chuckled as Duo's hands roamed lower, cupping his wife's pert little rear; we half-expected her to swat away his hand and give him a long-suffering look, like we'd seen her direct his way before - but not this time. She accepted his hands with something not unlike a leer, and we saw her own roam down Duo's back to copy his actions on him. I watched Matt's eyes widen as Heero squeezed, to Duo's obvious pleasure. Their kiss grew steamier, adventurous hands travelling further afield... We watched, mesmerised, as they broke apart eventually, panting, still pressed to each other's bodies. They grinned at each other, as Heero slowly broke away, taking Duo's hand and walking backwards, pulling him towards the car. Duo went eagerly, eyes fixed on Heero's seductive expression; even at a distance, we could see the lust between them, the attraction drawing them together... My own breath caught in my throat, as Heero leant back against the car, pulling Duo to her. They looked at each other for a long moment, and I could see the desire there, in the way they challenged each other to make the first move, the way they smiled at each other with such... sexuality... I could feel myself getting inevitably warmer, as the couple outside created their own heat - both of them seemed to break at the same time, moving in simultaneously to join again at the mouth. This kiss was even more passionate than before; I swallowed, feeling myself getting more uncomfortable in my clothes, as they rocked against each other, Heero's arms round Duo's neck and his hands roaming sensuously up and down her sides... There was no mistaking what was on their minds, and I couldn't help the mental images, of this beautiful couple, doing what it was obvious they were going to do... I crossed my legs, sure that Matt would have heard my heart rate increase, and trying to make myself as inconspicuous as possible.

It didn't seem to matter, though - Matt was engrossed in the show. He was glued to the windowpane, and I wasn't far off myself, as Heero pushed Duo away, finally, smirking and running her tongue over her lower lip slowly. Duo reluctantly drew away, running his hand lingeringly over her body as he made his way hurriedly round the car to the driver's side - it was a change from the norm... but we soon saw why.

"Oh my god..."

As soon as they were both in the car, Heero leaned across, kissing Duo full on the mouth, pressing him against the seat... We could see her hands, busy in his lap, and when she broke away from his mouth and began to travel down his body... it became crystal clear what she intended.

"She's not going to?! Is she?!"

She was. Of course, we couldn't see all the details from our position, but we could certainly see their results, written in Duo's expression. I felt my face growing hot as all available blood rushed to my cheeks - but most of it was, in fact, occupied in a different location. I suddenly thought, it explained a lot - all us sex-starved office workers, focussing on our colleague's romance... it really had been too long, and they were both... so attractive. Who could fail to be... affected by the sexy picture they made?

It wasn't long before it was all over. I was glad I was sitting behind Matt, and he couldn't see my expression or my... physical predicament, as I watched Duo shut his eyes tight, his lips parting in a moan I could all too easily imagine, his whole body - that we could see - shaking. After a few minutes, we saw Heero reappear, immediately pressing her mouth to Duo's in a kiss that was clearly a precursor to more of what we'd just seen, when they got home... I wiped my sweaty palms on my trousers, trying to clam my body down, as they broke apart, both grinning widely; it was another couple of minutes before Duo seemed composed enough to actually start the car, and drive.

I rubbed a hand over my face. Suddenly I wanted to be as far away from the office as possible. "I... think I'm gonna go home now..."

Matt nodded, as if in a dream. "...Me too..."

We put our coats on mechanically, a silence between us that suggested this evening would never be spoken of again. Or at least, our part in it never would be. I couldn't speak for how Matt would react tomorrow morning, when this was all a memory pushed aside and he was back amongst the rest of our co-workers, anxious for more of the running banter Duo and he always engaged in.

We edged our way out to the car park, trying to keep as far apart, but still close together, as we casually could... "See you tomorrow mate."

"Yeah, see you." As I drove home, it briefly crossed my mind that if it had been my wife - if I'd had one - doing that with me, then I wouldn't have been quite so eager to accept that kiss straight after... but I put the thought from my mind, and moved on to wonder what exactly would transpire tomorrow... and hoped my dreams that night wouldn't be too... detailed.


"Well well, if it isn't the boy wonder himself!" Matt nudged Duo in the ribs and leered. "Man, your missus is a bit of a goer, isn't she?! You're a lucky man!"

Duo grinned widely. "So, you enjoyed the show last night, did you?"

Matt was caught a little by surprise, but did his best to recover quickly. "Er - yes!" He leered to cover his slight slip. "We certainly know what you've been up to all night!" He nudged me and I nodded, trying not to blush. I'd been trying not to think of what Duo and his wife had been doing, for fear of the effect it'd have on me.

Duo winked at me. "You'd be right there. Man, I really need some caffeine this morning - only a few hours sleep, y'see..." He managed to look smug, even though we did notice he looked pretty tired as he wandered off to the coffee machine.

Matt chuckled manfully, but I was still too conscious of my own reaction to Duo and Heero's... display last night to risk anything. Made me all too aware that Duo had every reason to laugh at our fascination with his love life, because it had been far too long since either of us had had anything resembling one. I was suddenly looking forward to the time off I'd booked over Christmas, so I could forget the assorted pressures of the office. I was kind of looking forward to the annual Christmas party too; maybe all the heightened sexual awareness that had been sloshing round the office these past few months would take effect. I could only hope.


The season was soon upon us. As per tradition, we were having a party in the office; there was a formal dinner the week before at a fancy restaurant, but that was far too respectable to be a whole lot of fun. Although partners were invited as well, for some reason Mrs Maxwell wasn't in attendance; something about her own works do, Duo mentioned briefly. I think Matt was disappointed at not being able to engage her in some salacious conversation about Duo's sexual prowess, or something, but it was undoubtedly for the best - he still hadn't quite got to grips with the fact that he never came off best in these confrontations of wit, such as they were. I too was glad she didn't turn up; after all, I couldn't have looked her in the eye without blushing. That night in the car park loomed large in my memory, no matter how much I tried to forget it.

The formal dinner was enjoyable, in a sedately drunken kind of way; of course, we all had plenty to drink, but the difference was that this stuff had an identifiable name and source, and didn't taste like something out of a cat litter tray. Unlike the stuff we always had to look forward to at the office party. But still, it was late by the time we left the restaurant, and none of us were really in any state to drive.

"Hey, Duo - you gonna be OK to get home?"

"Sure, I'm getting picked up." He grinned at us, queueing in the freezing night for taxis. "See you all tomorrow! Maybe." He turned to someone we couldn't quite see in the darkness at first, but we saw him grin. "Hey, you been waiting long?" Duo tottered a bit, and the figure emerged from the shadows to catch him.

"Not too long." The speaker was a young man, a little taller than Duo, but probably the same age; but it was difficult to make out a lot about him, in this light and after a few drinks. He put an arm round Duo's waist. "Come on, the car's just round the corner."

We watched curiously as Duo put his own arm round the young man's shoulders. Duo wasn't falling-over-drunk, but he'd certainly got... exuberant. Even more so than usual. He rested his head on his companion's shoulder; he probably didn't realise how loudly he was talking, I reasoned; or maybe he didn't care.

"Thanks for doing this for me. You know I love ya, don't you?"

The young man's voice was quieter, but we could just make out his response. He chuckled, leaning in close to Duo. "I love you too Duo, now come on. Let's get home." They rounded the corner and we couldn't make out any more distinct conversation.

We looked at one another. "Was that slightly... unexpected?" We tried to think, our brains a bit muzzy with alcohol.

"Yeah... I mean... D'you reckon he was a bit..." Matt made a vague but all-too-expressive hand gesture.

We considered. "Could be..." Then: "Hey... What d'you think Duo's missus makes of him?" There was a moment's silence... then, as one, we began to snicker. I guessed we'd found something new to tease Duo about.


"Hey, Duo, who's your friend?" Matt, ever tactful, slapped Duo on the back.

"What are you on about now?" Duo endeavoured to look long-suffering.

"Your very friendly friend from the other night!" Matt fluttered his eyelashes. We all sniggered.

Duo rolled his eyes. "Oh, be quiet. And anyway, where were you yesterday? Some of us managed to turn up for work, you know."

Matt flushed. Duo smirked. We laughed. Once again, Duo had won, and he walked off with a wink to us before Matt could ask anything else.

It could have been my imagination, but I think maybe Duo was just getting to the edge of being tired of it all now. After all, he'd been married a few months, and we still hadn't let up. I didn't know what it was about Matt's latest try that had got to him, but somehow I felt he wasn't as interested in keeping up this game any more.

Still, at least we all had the office party to look forward to instead. We barely had time to put up our silly decorations round the office before it was the day of the party - time goes so fast around that season. Somehow we managed to make our overtime pay off, and got all the work done on time.

"So, Duo, your missus coming to the party tonight?"

"Oh, I don't know yet... You'll have to wait and see." He winked.

"Hey, try and get her to come! It'll be a laugh!"

Duo raised his eyebrows. "So you can do your Spanish Inquistion act?" He grinned.

Matt ignored him, for once. "Go on, man... She likes a party, doesn't she?"

Duo shrugged. "Not really... But I'll see what I can do." He looked into space for a minute, then smiled slowly... but it wasn't at us, it was to himself.


Duo turned up very late for the party. Some of us had not bothered to go home, but Duo had, and we all hoped he'd return with his pretty wife - even me, who thought I might be able to handle the situation if I'd had a few drinks, and I didn't have to engage in conversation with her. But as it turned out, I didn't have to think about it - Duo turned up, at about half past nine, when everyone else had long since waved goodbye to sobriety, without his wife - but with his friend from the other night. Soon Duo had joined us as we danced embarrassingly around the photocopiers and water coolers of the office to a lot of cheesy party tracks - but his friend just sat, watching us all, drinking Coke and shaking his head in amusement. A couple of times I thought I'd go over and keep him company, but he seemed fine by himself; and in any case, I had no idea what I was going to say to someone who we all thought was probably a little bit... dodgy. I mean, you never knew, with people of dubious sexuality... I've nothing against them, no, but I didn't want to get hit on. I guessed Duo must have known the guy a while, be used to it or something.

So I forgot about him, got into the party, watched Ed and Matt attempting to photocopy amusing parts of their anatomy, saw Su in a drunken clinch under some mistletoe with Thom from accounts, and attempted to charm the ladies with my highly sophisticated dance moves. Every so often I'd see Duo go over to his friend, singing the lyrics of whatever song was on at that moment, taking one or both of his hands, and trying to pull him into a passing conga line or something. But no, his friend, it seemed, was perfectly content to sit out and watch. Watch one person in particular... His eyes followed Duo everywhere. I wondered if Duo knew... Still, I wasn't about to tell him his best buddy's eyes were glued to his ass. He didn't seem to be hiding it, though - I caught a glimpse of him smirking at Duo as the latter made his way over to him once again. I saw Duo lean in close to hear what his friend was saying over the music; but the next time I looked, they'd gone, and I couldn't see them anywhere. I shrugged and forgot about it for the time being, having a few more drinks and still trying and failing to impress the women of the office.

It must have been quite a few more drinks, because the next thing I knew, I was wandering - or, rather, staggering - down the corridor towards the toilets. Despite having worked at the office for several years now, I was currently rather hazy as to their exact location; "It's down here somewhere" was good enough for me. I began to notice, even in my somewhat bleary state, that I could hear some very odd sounds coming from down the corridor. Fuzzily it occurred to me that someone might have broken in - but no, I wasn't so far gone, and it soon dawned on me that it was far more likely to be two employees having a little illicit fun. Well well, I thought to myself, who could it be? I was sure I'd seen Matt only a few minutes ago, and he was having about as much luck as me. The only couple I'd noted, Su and Thom, were slow-dancing to disco music in a drunken sort of way. So... who then? Curiosity got the better of me. I tiptoed up the corridor as best I could, eventually pinpointing the noise... it was coming from an open door to my right. Duo's office.

The door was wide open, I reasoned. Anyone could see what was happening inside! So I decided I was anyone, and at any rate, whoever it was probably wasn't going to be paying attention to me... so I stole up to the door, and peeked round the corner.

I hadn't realised I'd had that much to drink, I thought; but I must've done, because I could swear that it was Duo who was on his back on his own desk, naked except for his shirt, open and hanging off his shoulders. Sheaves of paper were scattered across the floor, as though they'd just been swept off the desk in a hurry; and on top of him, between his spread thighs, nailing him most enthusiastically to the tabletop... was his... friend.

I blinked. I stared. My mouth fell open. I didn't realise I'd made any sound, and I certainly didn't think I could have been heard over the racket they were making; but I saw Duo turn his face towards me, and even as his lover attacked his neck with eager kisses, I saw his lips curl in a grin that meant he'd definitely seen me there. But then, his eyes slid closed, and he was concentrating on only one thing.

I shook myself, and managed to turn away. What on earth did Maxwell think he was doing?! I mean, I know office parties are practically designed for indiscretions that were regretted by everyone the next day; but... this wasn't some casual office fling, as Duo had brought his guest himself! I remembered that Duo's "friend" hadn't been drinking; maybe he'd taken advantage of the fact that Duo had been, to manipulate Duo! But that didn't seem right... Duo looked to have been enjoying himself far too much for there to be any kind of coercion or persuasion involved. I knew full well it was none of my business, but... what about Heero?! The way Duo had talked, the way we'd seen them together! Why would he want to give that up? It baffled me.

When I got back to the party, I knew I had a choice. I could spill the story, or I could keep my mouth shut. The decision was easily made; I couldn't say anything, that would just be cruel. But I was determined to have a word with Duo whenever I could; as a friend, a concerned colleague.

"Hey, you seen Duo recently?" Matt nudged my arm.

I tried not to blush. "Not for a while. Maybe he went home."

Matt made a noise of disappointment. "Damn, that's no fun. We were having a great time!"

I nodded absently, and spent the rest of the night trying to forget what I'd seen.


The next day I actually managed to rag myself into work; I reasoned that Duo would probably be there, and hardly anyone else would, so I'd have a great opportunity to talk to him alone. The thought made me feel even worse than the after effects of the party were doing. Still, it just wasn't right! I had to say something, just a quiet word...

"Hey, man! Good time last night?" Duo was chirpier than usual. I could guess at the reason why, and it made me... uncomfortable.

I smiled ruefully, letting the party explain my subdued manner. "Yeah, it was a laugh, wasn't it."

"Oh yeah." He looked at me, and I knew he knew what I was thinking.

I took a deep breath. "Look, can I have a word with you?"

Duo nodded easily. "I think maybe you'd better."

I followed him down the corridor to his office; I couldn't help the heat that rose to my cheeks as I remembered the scene less than 9 hours ago in this very room... He leaned back on his desk, and I couldn't help noticing all the papers neatly arranged back on it... I cleared my throat. "Look, Duo, I know you saw me last night, and I... I mean... what...?"

He kindly stepped in. "I know, I know. You want to know what the hell I think I'm doing, messing around with another man, when I have the lovely Mrs Maxwell back at home waiting for me, eager to meet my every demand and fulfill my every need? Willing to drop her knickers like a good little wife whenever I want her to?" He smiled lopsidedly as I blushed even more and nodded once. "Well..." He reached into his back pocket for his wallet, and opened it to produce something. He gave it to me.

It was a photograph. Duo and his friend were in it, faces conspiratorially close together: Duo, grinning, winking at the camera; his friend smirking, looking very smugly as though he was enjoying the feeling of Duo's arm round his shoulders. "This is Heero."

"But... what? I thought you were married to Heero!"

"I am. But Heero's not my wife. He's my husband. For some reason, everyone just assumed..."

The wheels were turning slowly in my brain. "But... who's that woman we" I blushed again "saw you with?"

Duo smirked. "Ah, now that," he took the photograph back "was Heero."

I was beyond confused. "But..."

"Yeah, that's right. I guess I got the idea when everyone was so fascinated with the idea of me getting married; everyone was determined to find out more about what sort of girl I'd go for in such a big way. It never occurred to anyone that someone like me might not actually like girls." He grinned. I think he was enjoying this immensely.

"So... you got... Heero" the name felt odd on my tongue now "to dress up as a woman?!"

"Oh, he didn't mind. We thought it would be pretty funny to see the looks on your faces when you found out... I mean, all those comments Matt and you all kept making... If you'd known Heero was a man, no-one would have even been able to bring themselves to think about it!" He laughed. "I mean... Imagine the look on Matt's face if he knew all his insinuations and innuendoes were absolutely true... but I was doing them with another guy!"

I thought about it. I had to admit, it was pretty funny. Especially when I thought ot how it explained a lot of things... Duo's reaction to the stripper at his stag night; his amusement at anyone's suggestion Heero might be pregnant. And it was, to my shame, true; if we'd known Duo was gay, I doubt we'd have been so eager to make his sex life the topic of intense ongoing interest in the office; in fact, it was doubtful we'd ever have got to know him as well as we did, and that would just have been... stupid, because Duo was a great guy. But it niggled me, that I'd been just the same. "Duo... I have to confess, when we saw your - I mean, Heero, er, as a guy... we thought he was chasing you."

Duo laughed. "Well, you'd've been right. I did kind of notice - but it's funny, isn't it? After all, it was me who was telling the world how much I loved him, after the office dinner last week. But yet, 'cos it was me, that was OK! After all, everyone does stupid stuff like that after a few drinks, don't they? Red-blooded married guy like me, just making a bit of a fool of myself, no harm done. But someone a bit different..." He looked me in the eye.

I shuffled my feet. "I just want to... y'know, say sorry." I felt about 10 years old.

Duo winked at me. "Apology accepted. That's why I'm glad it was you, y'know? I've been wanting to tell everyone for a while now, it's getting old. And besides" he had a glint in his eye "I'd pay good money to see Matt's reaction. I don't suppose you've any ideas on how to.. break it to him, have you?"

I felt relieved - he was just Duo, he wasn't any different despite what he'd just told me! I grinned, feeling I'd been let off the hook in a big way. Part of me was loathe to drop my other colleagues in it... but another part of me was just as eager to... educate them. "Well, I don't know... I mean, there was no arguing with the way I found out." I fought to keep the blush from rising.

A slow grin spread across his face. "You know... you could just be onto something there..."

"And..." I hesitated a moment. "I mean... at least you're getting some. Which is more than can be said for most of us."

Duo laughed and slapped me on the back. "You're a good sport, you know that?" That glint in his eye was back. "And you're right. The joys of married life, eh?"

We laughed together, and plotted Duo's surprise for the rest of the office. I couldn't wait.


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