Author: FancyFigures
Disclaimer: I don't own ‘em, wish I did, just enjoy writing about ‘em for free etc
Pairings: 5x2
Category: Shameless PWP
Warnings: Yaoi, lemon
Spoilers: None
Notes: Duo hates shopping -- until he discovers this week's Special Offer!
Feedback: If you liked it, PLEASE let me know!

For dacia -- because she deserves it!

Special Offer

Duo Maxwell hitched up the loose waistband of his sweats, and swore. The wheels of his trolley had skidded sideways again, crashing it into the shelves of Rice and Pasta. Like it had bounced into Dairy Products -- like it had careered into Cooked Meats. It's not being paranoid, he thought, when things really are out to get you.

He pushed his braid behind his shoulder, impatiently; jerked his vest down over his lean, muscled stomach. He hated shopping! Or, let's say, he hated rebellious trolleys; he hated running out of a score of stuff, so that he had to go late shopping on a Saturday night like this; he hated the way the store moved the ketchup to a different place every week; he hated the washing powder box squashing his loaf of fresh bread; he hated -

He didn't see the other trolley until it spun an equally awkward path around the corner of the aisle, and crashed into him.

"What the f -?"

The two ‘drivers' glared at each other, ready for the necessary abuse -- but then they stared again, in a double-take.

"Like I should have known who was driving so aggressively!" snarled the tall, slender, dark-haired man, at the helm of the other trolley. He also wore loose pants, and a close-fitting tee shirt, barely covering the well-developed profile of his body.

"Like at least I can steer!" sneered Duo, in response.

They stared, angrily, at each other. Obviously they both had the same opinion of grocery shopping on Saturday night.

"Duo," acknowledged the dark-haired man, finally, though a little grudgingly.

"Wufei," replied Duo, with a nod of his head. "You shop here often?"

Wufei Chang didn't seem to think he needed to dignify that cliché with a response. Instead, he pushed his trolley to a stop, and moved to Duo's side of the aisle. He looked, pointedly, at the shelf just beyond Duo's right ear.

"You're wanting the wholewheat spaghetti?" asked Duo, eyes wide and innocent. The stacks were just above his head; the red writing of the packaging peeked round from behind his chestnut-coloured hair.

"Yes," said Wufei. "Obviously."

Just as obviously, Duo didn't move out of his way. Deliberately obstructive.

With a laboured sigh, Wufei stretched up and across the other man, his body leaning into the curve of Duo's upper body; his hand reaching past Duo's cheek. Duo watched the muscles flexing on Wufei's upper arm; watched the dark, stray hairs of his armpit, just visible under his tee-shirt sleeve; watched the sinewy movement of his torso, tight against the thin fabric. He smelt of a hot, fresh shower.

Duo moved his head slightly, as if by accident; as if he were shaking a loose hair from his eyes. His hot breath brushed against the bare skin of Wufei's inner arm. The other man shivered, almost imperceptibly.

"You after this brand as well, Maxwell?" came the wry drawl.

Duo snorted. "Not my type, Chang."

Wufei straightened back down, dropping the packet into his trolley. "So what is?"

Duo tilted his head a little to the side. Wufei watched the way the mocha-coloured hair fell over his ear, nudging at his long, pale neck. "My type?"


"Of pasta?"

The smile on Wufei's face was unexpected -- it was also enchanting. "Whatever."

Duo smiled, too. It seemed to answer whatever the question had been.

They browsed on down the aisle, their trolleys nudging at each other.


Duo paused by the frozen meat. "Chops or steaks? I can never choose…"

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "I don't eat meat, Duo."

"Oh yeah, right. Pity, that. Personally, I feel there's nothing as satisfying as sinking your teeth into a nice, thick, succulent steak." He leant over the freezer cabinet, bending in deep. "Biting it…sucking up the juices…" He picked up a packet, and shivered. "Damned cold, here."

Wufei was suddenly rather close to him, their trolleys locked together, creating a barrier between them and the rest of the aisle. Duo felt the warmth of their bodies against the chill of the cabinet. He was pushed further -- and very firmly -- up against the side of the unit. His head was still bent forward, down into the frosty shelves.

He gasped.

"Still cold, Duo?" asked Wufei, conversationally. He was pressed up against Duo's back, holding him in place, though never completely trapping him.

"Warm --" grunted Duo. "In places."

His vest was riding up his torso -- there were strong, insistent shadows under the thin jersey, that had the shape of someone's fingers. Running up the ridge of his spine; tracing the muscles along his ribcage. His skin stretched taut at the touch. Goose pimples ran along the length of his lithe limbs, from the combination of the ice-cold compartment and the heated hands inside his clothing. His nipples were erect, and aching.

"Or there's always the option of a rack of ribs," he gasped.

"There is, indeed," murmured Wufei. His breath also seemed rather shallow. His body was tense; Duo heard him lick his lips. "That can be just as juicy -- just as succulent."

Duo moaned, softly; his hips shuddered against the cabinet.

Wufei smirked.


Wufei stood at the Fruit and Vegetables display, undecided; hands full of fruit. "Plums or apples?"

Duo paused beside him. "You need plenty of fibre, Chang. Need to keep up that impressive physique."

The braided man turned smoothly, and suddenly he was facing the other, but barely six inches away from him. The toes of their boots touched; Duo's braid swung after him, brushing at Wufei's hip as it passed. Duo reached forward, carefully removed all the fresh green apples from Wufei's cupped hands, and tossed them back on to the display.

Wufei looked down at what he still held; two soft, dark pink, almost ripe plums. He smiled, gently.

Looking up with hooded eyes, he rolled the fruits together slowly, in his palm, caressing them with his fingertips. Duo watched their shiny skins brush smoothly against each other; imagined the moist, plump flesh inside.

He looked into Wufei's fevered eyes, and saw that he was thinking a similar thing. He could tell.

"Important to have roughage, Wufei," he murmured, almost under his breath. "For maintenance of all -- bodily functions…"

Wufei leant back against the fruit display; Duo leant forward, tightly up against him. His arm reached down, in between the two bodies. There was a slight disturbance in the fabric at Wufei's hip, as if his pants were bunching up -- or perhaps, stretching out. It wouldn't have been obvious to the shoppers passing behind them.

The muscles in Duo's upper arm flexed gently -- as if his hand was reaching; searching. Grasping at something. Testing the ripeness of the fruit, maybe.

Wufei's eyes closed. He took a deep breath, as if he were approaching the start of an exercise class. He attended many of those. His breath exhaled, on a soft moan.

Duo smirked.


"This is on Special Offer this week. I always get this one."

Wufei picked up the can of body spray, and peered at the ingredients. "Why?"

"Jeez, you looking for the ozone-friendly rating?" laughed Duo. "I just choose it for the smell. It makes you smell sexy. Makes you irresistible to -- well, to whomever you want to attract."

Wufei redirected his peering to Duo's face. "How do you know it works?"

Duo's eyes flashed brightly. Dangerously. "I know."

"Maybe…" breathed Wufei. He put a single fingertip to Duo's throat; traced the pulse along the vein.

"What?" Duo's voice was barely a whisper in return.

"Maybe, you don't need the spray," mused Wufei.

Duo sucked in a breath. The other man had nudged them into the doorway leading to the stock room. It was a quiet time, no assistants rushing about with pallets and cages. Their trolleys sheltered them again. Their bodies seemed unusually agitated.

"Maybe you smell -- sexy, already…" Wufei's tongue slipped out of the corner of his plump lips, and licked at Duo's neck. He drew in a deeper breath, as if he savoured the sweetness.

Duo smiled, smugly. "To you."

"Maybe." Wufei gave a low laugh. It vibrated down into the hollow of Duo's throat, and the braided man shivered again. He was nowhere near the freezer cabinet, though.

"Well, well, well…" he murmured, lips wide in a generous smile.

Wufei leant in against him, and covered those generous lips with his own. Their words stopped immediately.

The trolleys rattled gentled, as they took the weight of the gently writhing men


There were two full, unattended trolleys near to the checkout; and then there were two voices, hissing urgently, around by Personal Toiletries.

"Here is hardly the place, Duo --!"

"You embarrassed, Chang?"

There was a shifting behind the stacks of toilet tissue; a strangled gasp.

"Never! But the shopping --"

"Fuck the shopping!" came a throaty growl.

Wufei's chuckle came from deep in his heaving chest. "No thanks - too many sharp edges on the packaging…"

Duo's answering laugh was light, his tone teasing. "So leave the shopping, and try something else instead!"

A grunt; a gentle thump against the shelving. A can of antiseptic cream wobbled, and dropped off the top shelf.

Wufei's voice sounded like he was short of breath. "Maybe -- I should…" His footsteps turned towards the checkout.

"I said, step away from the trolley," warned Duo.

Wufei did.

Duo followed.


The assistant stared, as the two men stumbled past her, spilling out through the brightly-lit exit into the darkening night time, feet tangling, arms grasping, breathing as harshly as if they'd been running.

They were good looking; they were young; they were heavily flushed. They were desperate for something.

There was often an unusual clientele at this time of night.

She didn't think they looked like shoplifters, however, so she didn't call for Security.

She felt rather flushed, herself.


"Could you have found a parking place further away from the store?" grumbled Wufei.

Duo hauled open the door of his car, and pushed the dark-haired man in, down on to the back seat. "Quit complaining!" he snapped. "No cameras here, CCTV… Security… whatever."

Wufei grabbed at him as he fell, flat on to his back - Duo tumbled forward on to the other man's chest, the door creaking shut against his heels. The interior light of the car clicked off, and there was darkness all around them. Their mouths came together, tongues thrusting, lips sucking. The car rocked in complaint.

Wufei sounded breathless. "Devious bastard --"

Duo laughed, raggedly. He was fumbling at the waistband of his pants, pushing them down; one of his knees jabbed at Wufei's thigh. The fabric twisted around his ankles, as he wrenched his feet out from it, toeing off his boots at the same time. He gave an impatient growl.

Wufei felt the pressure of Duo's lower body against him. Thick, muscled thighs; skin taut over slim hips; damp, radiant heat from his fiercely erect cock.

"Mine, mine --" he groaned, and started tugging at his own sweats. Duo knelt up on the seat at his feet, peeling off his own vest, reaching forward to help Wufei wriggle out of his clothes.

Both naked, their skin shone faintly in the distant light of the store illuminations. Their chests were heaving with angry breath -- there was the sheen of sweat on their skin; glassy beads of pre-cum at the tip of each cock. Wufei stared at his rather impressive arousal; the faintest hint of a fluorescent-pink neon sign was reflected in the moisture there.

Duo threw his braid back over his shoulder -- this was the only time he was ever impatient with it. Getting in the damned way! He leant down again, against Wufei's prone body, his legs wrapping round the other man's, his lips and teeth seeking satisfaction. Their cocks brushed against each other, the skin wrinkling and stretching with frustration, the flesh, dark red and aggressive. It was Wufei's turn to moan.

"Want -- oh fuck -!"

The car seats were sagging under their combined weight; the windows were steaming up. The suspension rocked. The men were slippery against each other, from sweat and the leaking desire from their arousals.

Wufei could barely take his mouth from Duo's for long enough to speak. The man's lips were sweet; thick, and firm, with the taste of raspberry soda in his mouth. His hands reached out, sliding along the smooth, supple skin of Duo's body, laid on top of him. His fingers ran along the clenched buttocks of his splendid ass; teased at the hairs on the strong thighs. He strained to reach between the cheeks -- to wriggle a finger into the puckered skin that was hidden there.

Duo sucked in a breath -- his cock jerked, impatiently, squashed against Wufei's belly.

"Come on," Duo hissed. "Do it!"

"Lube --?"

"Under the seat --"

There was a sudden curse of pain, as Wufei rolled on to the discarded car keys, then a loud jangling as they were thrown away, on to the floor. His body was stretched out along the bench seat, the crown of his dark hair crushed against the handle of the passenger door, his legs bent rather awkwardly up against the other. Duo scooped a tube up from under the seat, and sat up, astride him.

"So fucking awkward --" complained Duo. His hands were busy between his own legs; then his fingers curled suddenly around Wufei's rearing cock, the fingers slick with lube. The dark-haired man groaned.

"No room to manoeuvre," persisted Duo, wriggling his knee, which was trapped between Wufei's hip and the back of the car seat.

"Always moaning…" Wufei ground out through gritted teeth. "We'll forget about this, then, shall we?" He seemed to be resisting the urgent need to thrust his hips up against Duo's hand.

Duo grinned. It was, of course, a rhetorical -- and ridiculous - suggestion. His hand moved for a few more strokes, almost languidly, up and down the stiff flesh that jutted out from Wufei's damp, sweaty groin -- he spread the lube over it generously; perhaps teasingly. Then he knelt up higher, and positioned himself over the thick cock. He lowered himself slowly; halted at the first resistance, with a grimace.

Wufei's hands gripped at his hips, fingernails scraping at the skin. He tugged him down further, and with a gasp, Duo let his body sink down, swallowing the invasion of his ass.

"Shit…" murmured Wufei, almost reverently. Duo lifted up, carefully; Wufei tugged him back down again. And again. Less carefully.

The car rocked; the seats creaked; Wufei groaned, more loudly, as they built up a fierce rhythm.

"Fuck me!" came Duo's shout -- it wasn't too clear whether it was an instruction or an expletive. Either way, Wufei seemed more than happy to oblige. He lifted his hips, and thrust hard into the body above him. Duo's head fell down against his chest; his hands gripped the cheap fabric of the seats as if it were the only thing anchoring him to the earth. His braid fell forward, and he no longer bothered to push it back.

The conclusion was swift, and intense. Duo's shouts became hiccups; his own cock shuddered, and spat its load over both of their bellies; hot, thick, sticky seed, pooling in Wufei's navel. Wufei felt the warmth on his skin, felt the slow trickle down the side of his stomach, and he moaned in surrender. His eyes widened, almost in shock, as his own climax hit him. His hips slammed hard against the spread of Duo's thighs; his hands dug into the shivering skin. His cock throbbed, and burst up inside the other man, and he shook underneath him.

He felt the nagging pain of the car door handle against his ear.

Like he cared.


It was many minutes later. The back reaches of the car park were still pitch dark, except for the reflected glare from the store. A man's head came into view, inside the car, silhouetted against the back window. Its long braid was considerably messed up; hanks of hair were sticking out at odd angles.

"You've gotta love 24-hour stores," came Duo's bleary muttering. "Even though I hate shopping." He spat gently, as if a hair was stuck on his tongue. Perhaps several short, curly hairs.

There was more rocking of the car, and the other man sat up as well. If there'd been enough light, there were soft bruises and red, suckled patches to be seen on his torso. He didn't seem worried by them. There was some shuffling from both of them, as long, muscled limbs sorted themselves out, and found space to stretch out. Muscles were sore; bare flesh was sticky.

The car seat gave a sweaty fart.

The two young men both laughed, softly. The sound was throaty; greedy. The silhouetted heads melded together again, with the soft, wet hissing of tongues inside eager mouths. The car creaked, complaining yet again.

"So who's going back in for the shopping?" came Wufei's muffled question.

Duo snorted. "Not me. I'm going to take you back to my place, and hammer your ass into my mattress!"

Wufei snorted, too, but he sounded amused. "Your turn, eh? I can only hope your sexual navigation skills are better than your pushing of a trolley --"

A couple of mock punches were thrown, an arm twisted; Wufei's laugh was sucked up into a fierce kiss. When they broke for air, the windows were steamed up again, and the breathing sounded very harsh.

Wufei licked his lips, perhaps trying to regain feeling, in flesh that had gone numb. "That's this week's Special Offer, is it?" he grunted.

"Very, Very Special," grumbled Duo. "Buy Now, or Miss Out. Once it's Gone, it's Gone…"

There was a scrabbling on the floor of the car, a frenzied searching for lost keys, in amongst the discarded clothing. Wufei tossed aside a sock, and was victorious, holding the keyring up with a flourish.

He grinned, broadly, "Special Offer, eh?"

Duo's eyes were on his body; hot; laughing; challenging.

Wufei leaned in to take another taste of the smiling, mocking mouth; he dropped the keys into Duo's still-naked lap.

"Then what are you waiting for? I'll take two!"


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