Author: FancyFigures
see part 1 for warnings, notes, dislaimer

Tonight's the Night? + Part 2


OK, no, I'm not at all resentful about him electrocuting me; anyone can make a mistake, though I've not offered that explanation to Heero. Don't want my ass kicked into next week. So I thought I'd try a new approach on tonight's date - something that he'll especially like! I guess I owe it to him, the way this week seems to be going.

We both like Mexican food, so that's a sure bet. And this little kiosk is the best in town - he'd heard of it, but never got round to sampling the food. So I was able to show him where it was, and choose his favourite tacos, and accept his mumbled, half-arsed apology about the shock-thing with my usual tolerance. It's no smart restaurant, but we got our food wrapped in serviettes, and decided to sit in the park to finish them. Lots of kids do that in the early evening - I did find myself watching some of 'em, poor sad jealous guy that I am. I was thinking I should be there, necking with Heero, rolling in the grass, sneaking off into bushes ...dammit, if we ever get around to it, let's hope I'm not too old to enjoy it!

He caught me unawares when he pressed me back on to the bench, his hand tugging my braid out from under me, sliding under my neck to pinch the skin there. He was mumbling some accusation about me licking my lips suggestively, and disjointed phrases like "can't wait...", "got to touch you...", "everyone doing it -" You know, things like that. His kissing was very aggressive. Not that I was complaining!

I relaxed against him, gave back everything he could give. OK, so I hadn't thought of doing it actually on a bench, in public view, but if that's what he wanted -! Pity I'd taken to wearing my underwear again, since Monday - ever since I musta embarrassed Heero when he had to undress me and tuck me into bed.

I slid a hand down his shirt, down and into the top of his trousers. I flipped the button; teased the zip down a little way. Christ, it was fantastic! I could feel the little, curling hairs; the soft, wet tip of his cock. I loved this, I loved to touch him, to rub my fingers against his cock, begging to be able to tug it out and jerk him off -

Heero's face had gone a strange colour. Puce, I think they call it. I didn't think I was squeezing that hard!

"Duo..." His voice was a little strangled as well. "Duo, did you have extra chillies again?"

"Yep, always do!" I grinned.

"Ate them - with your hands?"

"But they were clean, of course -" I started, indignant. Realised that wasn't the problem. Realised what was!

I mean - I hadn't thought that one through, had I?

Heero twisted from my hands, zipped himself up swiftly and darted back across the park, inside the kiosk again. He was clutching his groin, and he was holding in some kinda groan, I think. Or a full-blooded yell. Thank God they had a staff toilet out the back. With plenty of running cold water.

I followed him and stood outside the locked door for a while - but he wouldn't let me in to give him a hand. Oops - poor choice of words, I guess! Anyway, he didn't seem able to produce a coherent sentence - not for half an hour or so.

I thought it might be wise to give him some time alone.

I walked home on my own.



We went to the movies.

To be honest, I needed somewhere I could sit comfortably, although the burning in my lap has mostly vanished now. But I'm also running out of ideas for dates.

I tried to find something Duo would like to see, and that I could tolerate, but it was difficult. We ended up at some kind of fantasy electronic game brought to film, with a throbbing hard rock soundtrack - Duo looked entranced for most of it. More's the pity. I slid an arm around his shoulders, and fondled his hair gently. Then I ran through some mission plans in my head while I waited for him to notice me.

"Mmm..." he said at last. "Feels good..."

"Are you watching this?" I whispered. I could feel the ache of impatience in my bones, making me unusually forward - but I didn't know how much longer I could resist him. I just wanted to tug that hot little head around and thrust my mouth on to him -

"A bit." He grinned in the half-light. "But there's other bits of me that aren't."

So I did that tugging, and it was as delicious as I'd expected. Warm, pliant lips; soft, opening lips; opening to take my tongue and suck on it suggestively. I felt his hand at my thigh and I couldn't stop my instinctive wince.

"Does it still hurt?" he whispered. I grabbed his head a little tighter - I didn't want him to stop the kissing.

"Only a little," I hissed. "The cold water caught it in time, I think..."

We wriggled on the seats to get more comfortable. Well, that's not strictly true - I was still really uncomfortable, but it didn't matter because we were pressed together even tighter, and my poor, crushed cock was straining at my pants, begging to escape and looking for something to rub against; to scratch its horny little itch, as Duo would say!

"I could kiss it better..." he murmured. He pouted his lips suggestively. He licked them. He looked down at my lap. Hungrily.

I nearly passed out from the vision his words gave me! It's something I've been longing for him to do. In my dreams, day and night. I never thought I'd hear him say it - and I've been too nervous to suggest it. Oh God, if only he would suck me off, I'd dip it in chillies every day of the week and then some extra on Sunday-


Had I said something? Had I shocked him?

"I mean ... only if you want to ..." I mumbled.

"No - erm - Heero - that noise. Was it you?"

It was dark - the air was very still in the movie house. It was - inevitably - one of the quietest moments of the film so far. No flashing, distracting special effects. The screaming guitars of the soundtrack had abated.

The sound was therefore heard clearly throughout the room. It had been - unmistakeably - an embarrassing bodily function.

Duo made a sound like a swallowed laugh. I expect that's what it was.

"Heero - that was you!" he hissed.

Well, I did think of denying it. But we were the only guys on that row, and every head seemed to have turned towards us.

Anyway, there was another one coming.

"It's the Mexican food yesterday," I explained, horrified. "I - it sometimes upsets my stomach!" I was humiliated! I wriggled in my seat, backing away from Duo. However did I think I could hold it in? - the feeling was like a rising hurricane! My stomach churned, and the wind had only one way out.

"Whoever smelt it, dealt it!" called someone from the front. There was a ripple of laughter throughout the whole room.

I whimpered. "Nooo..."

"Whoever denied it, supplied it!" came the oh-so-witty response from another side of the auditorium. Like, suddenly everyone's a comedian!

I turned to Duo in alarm, and even he was grinning! No mistake about it. I stared at him in growing fury.

"It is kinda funny..." he hissed at me. "Gives a whole new meaning to air guitar -!"

We left in the next forty seconds, with Duo moaning there was still half an hour to go, and he'd never find out where the damn talisman was hidden and what would become of the zillion swords of JezBezWez, or whatever the Alternative Universe was called.

We argued all the way home.

And I continued to fart.



Wufei sat at the table, glaring at the breakfast he'd set in front of Heero that had been completely ignored.

"Pull yourself together, man!" he growled. "You've just had some bad luck. What does it all matter?"

"What - that I've soaked his groin, electrocuted him, farted in his face when he tried to be intimate? You're saying that doesn't matter?" Heero kept his voice low, but it was tight with controlling his fury and misery.

Wufei shrugged. Grinned a little to himself.

"It just needs a little more proper thought and care. What effort have you made so far? Go on into town and arrange something really good for the pair of you tonight. For God's sake, choose a nice, quiet restaurant - food that's tasty but easy. No chillies! A relaxed atmosphere. You can come home when you feel like it, there's some beers in the fridge..."

"Ahh... so are you going to be out?" asked Heero, a little slyly. "Both of you?" His expression was cheering up fast.

"That could be arranged as well, I guess," scowled Wufei. How did he let himself be manipulated like this? As if he was interested in another boy's love life...!

"Just me and Duo..." murmured Heero. "At last..."


Outside, at the jeep, Quatre listened to a similar tale of woe from Duo.

"Jeez, I can't manage to get through a single date without fucking up!" he moaned. "I punched him in the nose - threw up the contents of my stomach over his best clothes. Nearly burnt his dick off -!"

"What?" Quatre's curiosity was piqued. "You never told me about that!"

Duo flushed. "I don't wanna talk about it! He wants to go out tonight, but I just don't know if I can bear any more cock-ups... but, oh God, I want him real bad! What the hell am I gonna do, Quatre?"

Quatre sighed, and unlocked the jeep.

"This calls for a more direct strategy, I think. Leave it to me. Let Heero choose the evening venue - let me help you arrange the late night one."

"Thanks, Quatre!" gushed Duo. "Just me and Heero - at last!"

Quatre slid into the driving seat with a grin. "But what good will he be to you, with a burnt dick?"

He slammed the door and drove off as Duo started yelling at him.



It was such a smart little restaurant - OK, not your tuxedo job, but Heero knew I wouldn't feel relaxed in any place more formal. It was just the right atmosphere here, and not too many other people; it was still early evening. And good, plain food. I thought I'd joke about it not upsetting his stomach like last night, but wisely decided not to pursue that.

We both seemed a little restrained - waiting for the next fucking disaster, I reckon! But as we ate and chatted and the ceiling didn't fall down on us, it all started to go more smoothly. Damn smoothly...!

I restricted myself to one dessert while he sipped at mineral water. One large, luscious ice cream sundae, with nuts and sauce and more sauce. He watched me lick the ice cream smudges from the sides of my mouth. I plucked out the cherry from the centre of the sludge, and I popped it into my mouth. I kept my finger in there after it, sucking gently on it. He was breathing very slowly - like he was concentrating hard. I liked that a lot!

I nudged at his knee under the table. When he leaned in towards me, I reached across and wiped a drizzle of water from his cheek. Glistening on that warm, smooth skin. I think my hand may have been shaking - he felt so good!

"You - like this place? It's new...." His voice was a bit hoarse.

"It's great," I replied. "And I've got a surprise for you as well - my contribution to the evening!" I guess I probably smirked - I couldn't resist it. Things were starting to smoke between us, and I was gonna fan the flames - with a little help from my good friend Quatre!

Heero looked at me, a little puzzled. 'Praps a little hopeful, too!

"Later..." I grinned. "I gotta go to the men's room."

It wasn't a very big room. And it got even smaller when another body slid in behind me and closed the door on us. Bolted it.

I'd splashed some water on my flushed face, and I was peering into the mirror, dreading to see a spot lurking on my chin. Tweaking bits of hair in and out of the braid.

"Hey Heero! Can't wait for a pee, eh -?"

I could see him in the mirror behind me. He was staring at the drops of water on my cheeks, and on my lips. I pouted them, playing the fool as always.

Next minute I was pressed up hard between the sink and the nearest urinal, and he was kissing me harder than he'd ever done before. It was more than sexual - it was devouring! He had his tongue so far in he musta been able to taste the ice cream I just had, and his fingers were sliding in under my loosened collar, just touching my neck, just stroking me, soft and pleading...

And I was just as eager! My tongue was thrusting its way back into his mouth, pushing his head back towards the wall beside us. He tasted like nothing on earth - like fire and strength and candy, all rolled into one! His body was pressed against mine - I could feel the heat of the pulse at his neck, and the sweet warmth of his hands inside the fabric of my clothes. His leg prised itself between my thighs; I think I'd forgotten to zip up properly, and I was in danger of bursting free in my excitement.

"God, Heero - this is so damn hot, but I didn't think you wanted to have your first time bent over a urinal!" I grunted. I was sorta joking, but sounded sorta desperate as well. I wasn't sure he was listening properly. But he paused, and straightened up a little.

"You're right, Duo." His voice gargled in his throat. His hands were still hovering around the half-open zip of my pants. I'd be happy if they stayed there another hour or so...

"I got a hotel room - a nice one," I gasped. "Near here. I wanna take you there!"

"This is your surprise?" murmured Heero.

"Yeah. Yeah! Is - is that OK? You - you wanna go there?"

Heero stared at me, and I leant back from him just for that second. Just to check that he wasn't horrified. That I hadn't mistaken the very hot, very large swelling in his pants that was pressing up against my own leg.

"I wanna go there," he replied, in a hoarse, sexy copy of my own voice.

Shit! I fell on him again, open-mouthed, a mess of hungry hands; but there was a hammering on the door outside - some poor sod needed a pee.

"I wanna go and - get ready for you," I gasped, adjusting myself back inside my pants. My fingers still trailed all over him - I couldn't bear to tear myself away from him, but I wanted to make tonight the best for him. Needed to check the room was OK; brush my teeth - those sorta things, y'know? "Pay the bill - I gotta card here with the hotel address on, you follow me as soon as you can." I scrabbled in my pocket for the card I'd got from Quatre, and some money.

Heero placed a firm hand on mine, stopping me. "I'll pay, Duo. I want to claim your half back some other way, OK?"

I hope I didn't whimper - I felt like I did. Instead, a huge grin spread over my face and I pressed the card into his hand.

"Soon, Heero - don't argue 'bout the tip!"


It was a neat room, though I was only interested in the bed, of course. It was big, it was soft, and the sheets were cool and smelled of lavender.

I sat on it a little gingerly. I thought I felt pretty mature and adventurous. I felt pretty damn scared, actually! The hotel clerk hadn't given me a second glance - hadn't balked at my false name. Guess he gets a coupla hundred Mr Washingtons every month! But I thought it was a good joke - that the occasion called for some corniness!

I sat there for a half hour or so. Christ, had the tip been so obscene that Heero had to wash dishes?

I sat for another half hour. I ran out of jokes to tell myself. I'd re-made the bed twice. Used up the gel in the tiny shower room, making myself smell even better, and got dressed again. Twisted off my top shirt button by compulsively fiddling with it - undone and rebraided my hair. And we all know how long that takes!

'Praps he wasn't so keen after all. Had he run out on me? He might've thought it was all too premeditated - too unromantic. He'd probably hate me calling us Mr Washington and Mr Washington! Wouldn't get the joke... not sure I did myself, by now.

Another ten minutes passed. Funny how slowly time goes when you're watching it, eh?

Oh Heero... Was he really disappointed in my surprise? Was he gonna give me a chance to find a better way? I was panicking, I don't mind telling you.

I turned out my pockets in the desperate attempt to find something to do. Found a chewed rubber band, half a chocolate bar. Various sachets; sugar, ketchup, mayo. Always useful. A souvenir cocktail stick. A card for a dry cleaning collection service; a card for a new comics shop.

And a card with the hotel address on.

Like - I had two, didn't I?

No, Duo, I told myself. You only had this one. However, you did have another card with an advert for an amusement arcade. And that was - presumably - the card that you gave Heero. By mistake. By a big, fucking mistake.

The last thing I felt at that moment was amusement.


FRIDAY - 11.30PM

"Do you think we can go back in now?" hissed Quatre. "It's been forty-five minutes since Heero came back, and there's still no sign of Duo."

"Heero's in his room, on his laptop. I can see the glow through the window. Doesn't look particularly romantic to me," agreed Wufei.

"I can't see how Heero can do much without Duo there..."

"So you've told me before," said Wufei, wryly.

"Do you think it was a row?"

Wufei groaned, and stood up from the bench where they'd both been sitting for the last hour. In the park, across the street. He was damn stiff! He and Quatre had exhausted the delights of the local bar, played endless games of poker (and lost virtual fortunes to each other), and finally been thrown out at closing time. Then they'd hung around the park, hoping to sneak back in to the house, assuming that Duo and Heero would be - well - settled. Things hadn't gone according to plan.

"I can't say I'm bothered any more, Quatre. I am inclined to give up on the whole project. We have given them the opportunity. They've failed it, time and again. I need my bed -"

"Heero looked very dejected. I am afraid that the whole relationship may be foundering."

"I cannot see that it ever got properly started, can you?" Wufei scoffed. "Not once this week have they arrived home either together, or in a state of appropriate romance. No snuggling on the couch; no public kissing and touching; no signs of sexual exhaustion over the breakfast table -"

"Enough," sighed Quatre. "Let's go. My ass is numb from this seat. Even my care for those two doesn't extend to permanent muscle damage!"

Wufei set off back towards the house, with Quatre following dejectedly.

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