by Flamika
Disclaimer: I own nothing. So there! ^_^ The characters belong to Sunrise and the song belongs to Bryan Adams.
Warnings: yaoi, lime (sort of), possible OOC-ness
Pairings: 1X2/2X1
Timeline: After Heero rescues Duo from the OZ prison and before he goes off to kill Dr. J and the other scientists.

Everything I Do

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me


Heero decided that he would never get tired of watching Duo sleep.

How long had he been by that night-darkened window, as still and silent as Death himself, arms folded across his chest, his emotionless Prussian blue eyes riveted on the sleeping figure in the hospital bed? It seemed like an eternity, even though it had only been a few hours since he had rescued Duo from the OZ prison where he was going to be executed as a scapegoat for the public. OZ had been planning to use Duo and his Gundam like they were mere toys - mindless, unfeeling pawns that could be battered around and tossed into dark corners of the great game that OZ seemed to think human life was.

As those thoughts reared their ugly heads, Heero felt his throat tighten with rage. Contrary to popular belief, the Perfect Soldier hated precious few things in the world. He saw no reason to waste his time worrying over such trivial things as emotions and arguing with that little creature called his conscience, which had been getting more and more bold ever since he had met the braided baka named Duo Maxwell. See, Heero Yuy loved even less than he hated. He could count the things he really, truly loved on one hand.

Search your heart - search your soul

Relena Darlian was one.

And he had just come to the conclusion that Duo Maxwell was the other one.

Shifting his ageless position, Heero unfolded his arms and let them dangle at his sides as the moonlight streaming in from the window behind him washed over the well-formed muscles that were hidden beneath his sweater. That very same moonlight added its ethereal touch to his dark brown hair, transforming it and bleaching some areas to a pure, celestial white. Moving as quietly as he could, Heero approached the sleeping figure on the hospital bed, watching his own ominous yet meekly curious shadow dance in front of him to touch Duo's sleeping form.

Heero came to a silent stop at the end of the bed and just stood there looking down at Duo with a strange, soft light flickering the barren depths of his Prussian blue eyes. The braided boy had been through hell and back, and it showed. Three broken ribs. Busted lip. A sprained ankle. Cuts and bruises covering nearly every inch of his body. Though he hadn't seemed in that bad of condition when he and Heero had escaped from the colony, it soon dawned on Heero that Duo was in more pain than he was letting on. Indeed, Heero had become so worried that he had resorted to actually taking Duo to a hospital and checking him in to be looked over. He had been afraid that Duo had internal bleeding. He had been afraid that Duo was severely injured. He had been afraid that Duo was going to die. He had been afraid that he was going to lose him.

Yes, Heero Yuy had been afraid.

And when you find me there you'll search no more

And now, as he stood gazing down at the battered but recovering figure on the bed, he felt only a shadow of that fear and sent a silent thanks to a god he didn't believe in that Duo was going to be okay.

His eyes never leaving Duo, Heero walked around the bed and plopped into the chair beside it, still gazing at Duo, something the he found strangely relaxing. He had been painfully aware from the moment he had met him that Duo Maxwell was very nice to look at. He simply had the most beautiful, enticing body that Heero had ever seen on anyone, male or female. Long, soft chestnut hair that, Heero knew from experience, flowed like silk through one's fingers when it was unbound. Laughing violet eyes that never failed to send shivers down Heero's spine and make his cold, dead heart tremble inside. Duo had a laugh and a personality that could vanquish the darkness in anyone's soul. Heero had never met anyone like him before, and he knew that he never would again.

Even now, in his broken state, Duo's beauty could not be overshadowed by the abuse he had received. His hair was in its usual plait, dangling over the side of the hospital bed and swaying slightly whenever he moved in his sleep. The lean chest underneath the hospital gown moved steadily with the blessed breath that kept him alive. His face looked completely vulnerable in sleep, full lips parted slightly as he breathed and long eyelashes fluttering slightly as he dreamed.

Duo...

Reaching out carefully, Heero brushed Duo's long bangs away from his face and gently ran his callused fingers down the soft skin of his cheek, careful not to touch the bruise that was plastered hideously on the other boy's skin. He suddenly wanted to kill the officers who had done this to such an outstanding creature as Duo. The braided boy may call himself the God of Death, but to Heero, he was the embodiment of life and love. Heero didn't want anyone to ever touch Duo again.

Even me, he thought sadly, withdrawing his hand. I don't deserve to. No one but God himself - if such a callous being even exists - who created this... this boy... that I've fallen for...

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for


Duo sighed softly in his sleep, brow creasing slightly, and Heero was suddenly reminded of the last time he had seen Duo sleeping. It had been back at one of the many schools they had been transferred to before Heero had attempted to self-destruct in Siberia.

Yeah, he remembered now. It had been the first time he had ever kissed Duo, the first time he had ever touched him, and the first time they had made love.

At first, Heero had tended to describe what they had done that night as had "wild and passionate sex." He had told himself that Duo had been a good lay, but since Duo had also been Heero's first, he couldn't exactly compare him to any other. Heero had never thought that he would sleep with someone at such a young age, much less another boy. But it had been good. Very good.

Looking back, he couldn't exactly recall how it had happened, but Heero did remember that he had seen Duo and some girl flirting and messing around after school, and he had suddenly become insanely jealous, a completely irrational thing since Duo was his friend, not his boyfriend, and as far as he had known at the time, Duo was completely straight. But Heero's mental stability had been knocked off balance by the unreal prospect that he had actually become envious of someone Duo had been fooling around with. He had been so shaken by it that when the braided boy entered the room they shared later that night, Heero made some comment about Duo's "little fling." Of course, Duo didn't take it very well, and they had started arguing.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Heero?!"

"You're endangering the mission, baka!"

"Screw the mission! I think you're JEALOUS!"

"What?!"

You know it's true


One thing had led to another, and verbal lashings turned into physical ones, each boy trying to injure the other for internal wounds and secret longings that neither of them had even admitted up to. But at some point, they had fallen onto Heero's bed in a tangle of writhing limbs, and suddenly, they weren't fighting anymore, but kissing one another hungrily, hands roving all over each other's bodies, completely out of control. Clothing was soon discarded and flung carelessly to the floor, one article after another until they were both completely naked in the sanctity of their room. Heero had never known such joy - such completion - as he had the moment Duo had slid inside him, producing a mixture of pain and pleasure that Heero had never experienced before. And suddenly the mission didn't matter, peace and war didn't matter, nothing else mattered but the boy moving inside him, striking that secret spot deep within him until finally they both cried their release and let their trembling, sweat-soaked bodies tumble against each other amongst the pristine sheets. Both exhausted boys had breathed in the scent of sex in the air until they had both fallen asleep, their naked arms wrapped tightly around each other.

Heero had been the first to wake up in the morning, and he had just lay there in bed, watching the sleeping boy in his arms and wondering what one so beautiful and pure of heart was doing in the middle of a bloody war meant for lost soldiers like himself. He remembered not being able to stop staring at Duo in all his glorious nakedness, smooth skin unbelievably enticing in the sunlight streaming in through the window. Heero had played with Duo's soft, chestnut hair - which had been unwound from its braid by over eager hands - for what had to have been nearly half an hour, soothed by the way the silken strands slid easily between his fingers, as if they had been meant for such a purpose. Heero had suddenly decided then and there that what he and Duo had done last night was not have sex like two teenagers with out-of-control hormones. No, what they had done the last night could only be called "making love." Heero had never thought that the two phrases could have totally different meanings. Before Duo, Heero had viewed sex as just a dirty yet pleasurable act that one had to do when they needed to relieve stress or satisfy the driving human need to reproduce.

But he hadn't known then that he had fallen in love with Duo. Heero had refused to admit it to himself as he reluctantly disentangled himself from Duo and started to get dressed for his morning class. When he had returned to the room that afternoon, he had found all of Duo's stuff gone. For a moment, his mind had raced wildly, but he had eventually come to the conclusion that Duo had been sent off on a mission. He had immediately thrown his books to the floor and attacked his laptop, wanting to know where and when and why Duo had been called off so suddenly. However, his extensive search was interrupted when its subject had entered the room, dressed once again in his priest garb, to say goodbye to his new lover. Heero remembered the guarded look in Duo's eyes, as if he wasn't sure how to behave around Heero after what had happened between them. Heero's own heart had been aching painfully with knowledge that he and Duo would be on opposite sides of the world, unable to see each other.

He wanted to talk to Duo about many things before they parted ways, but he couldn't find the worlds to relay what he was truly feeling inside. Yet, in the end, no words had been needed. Stepping into the room and locking the door behind him, Duo had walked over to Heero and kissed him gently on the mouth, giving the other boy time in case he wanted to pull away. Heero had gladly forsaken the opportunity and wrapped his arms tightly around Duo, pulling the braided pilot into his lap. They had enjoyed each other one last time on Heero's bed before cruel destiny sent them down separate paths again.

But just because they had been divided didn't mean that Heero had to stop thinking about Duo. He tried his best to force the other boy from his mind and focus on matters at hand, but at night, when he was all alone in his cold bed, he found Duo's handsome face with its large violet eyes and disarming smile floating in front of him, warming his heart and entering his dreams. And so he kept fighting. Fighting for the chance to see Duo again. Fighting for peace, for Relena, for his new friend Trowa, for warriors like himself and Zechs Merquise. But for Duo, above all things.

And finally, on that fateful day in the library, he had finally gotten a chance to once again see the face that had haunted his lonely nights for months. But to his dismay, the owner of that face was in the hands of the OZ forces, a nameless Gundam pilot with no past and no future, soon to be executed for crimes that were not his own. Fifteen years of extensive training as a soldier had suddenly risen up in Heero's moment of vulnerability, overriding his feelings for Duo Maxwell, his lover and friend.

And so Heero had boarded the next shuttle heading to the colony Duo was being held on, with the intention of killing him...

... only to get there and find he couldn't. When he beheld that gorgeous face, cut and battered but with a smile still on it, the casing of ice that had carefully arranged around his heart began to melt into nothing. Duo smiled and joked as he rose shakily to his feet and offered himself up to Heero, closing those beautiful violet eyes and practically putting his heart on his sleeve for Heero's bullet to pierce.

Everything I do - I do it for you


In the end, Heero couldn't do it. He couldn't kill his friend. And it was then that he realized he had fallen in love with Duo.

But could the Fates be any more cold and heartless? He had just found love, and now he was being forced to leave it. Peace came first, the Soldier told him. And that meant that Dr. J and the others had to die. It also meant that he had to leave Duo behind if the mission was going to be any success.

Heero folded his arms across his chest again, wincing at the smell of blood and death that clung to his sweater and slacks. But he knew he would have no time to change clothes before he had to get on the next shuttle to outer space.

I should leave right now, he thought coldly, watching as Duo shifted his sleep again. Leave before I'm forced to say goodbye to him... again. God, I wish I could take him with me! But I can't - he's still too weak, and he'll just slow me down. Besides, he'll be safer here, won't he? Maybe not. Knowing Duo, he'll probably find some way to get into trouble. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid...

But as Heero shifted again in the chair, getting comfortable as he felt exhaustion creeping up on him, he couldn't fight the thought that if he left Duo, he would never see him again. What if he meets someone? Heero wondered. With a face and a personality like that, it wouldn't be hard at all. But... please, don't forget about me, Duo. I don't want to lose you...

+

[cont]