Arc: Domestic Bliss
I HATE it when missions go
Couldn't stand it during the war, and I can't stand it now that I'm one
of the Preventers. If you think the others get moody/violent/quiet/suicidal
when they fail to complete one of their missions, you ain't seen SHIT
yet. I'm just a hell of lot better at hiding my feelings than they are
- and that includes Mr. Self-Destructing-Is-Fun Yuy. I'll admit, though,
that I'm not as bad as him when I'm pissed or depressed. I don't try and
commit suicide and go down in a blaze of mindless glory like he did during
the war, even though I KNOW that glory was the last thing running through
that twisted mind of his as he punched the self-destruct button. Just
work with me here, alright? I need to vent somewhere or soon you'll be
WISHING that I would follow Heero's example and blow myself to kingdom
It didn't matter what had happened on my mission or whose fault it was.
The point was that someone had died. I can't tell you who, because I don't
even know their name. Besides, it's not like names matter with Death.
He's an equal opportunity employer; he kills indiscriminately.
I won't stand for innocent people dying during one of my missions. If
I have ANY say in the matter (and trust me, I can say a whole fucking
lot), the only ones dying during one of my missions are the bad guys and
myself. End of story.
Of course, this is reality and reality's a bitch and everything can't
always go your way, young man. Shit happens. Shit hits the fan. Shit does
all sorts of cool stuff, and someone else is always the one that gets
shot. You know I've never been shot in my entire life? I'm fucking serious
here. I've shot plenty of people, but a bullet has never touched this
here skin of mine. Lucky me, right?
So anyways, I came home that night totally PO'ed. I made a point of slamming
the door to Heero's and my apartment, just to, you know, let him know
that his roommate was ready to fucking explode and it would be in his
best interests to stay out of my way. Not that he would be AFRAID of me
or anything stupid like that. In case you don't already know, Heero's
a lot stronger than little old me, and I know that if I provoke him, he
won't hesitate to knock me top over teakettle.
But I really didn't care about that shit at the moment. Hell, I almost
WANTED to pick a fight with him. At least I would be able to release some
of my frustration that way. At the expense of getting my ass kicked, of
course. But as long as it's Heero, I couldn't care less. He can do whatever
he wants with my ass.
I mean that quite literally, too.
He was clicking away on that blasted, ever-present laptop of his when
I stormed through the living room on my way to our bedroom.
"Bad mission?" he asked without even looking up.
"Shut the hell up, Heero," I snapped viciously, my voice dripping with
so much malice that he graced me with a surprised glare as I stomped past
him and disappeared into the hallway beyond.
Okay, I know I shouldn't have been so mean to him like that, but hey,
the guy was fucking asking for it, alright? He KNOWS how I get when I'm
pissed, and if he truly valued peace in the household, he should know
when to shut his face! Imagine that. Heero actually getting on my nerves
for _talking_! Poor guy. I realized then that I had probably discouraged
him from saying a word to me for the next few days.
But that was the least of my concerns as I stormed into our bedroom, giving
myself the satisfaction of slamming yet another door. Our room was like
it always was. My half looked like a hurricane had blown through it, and
Heero's was neat and orderly. Heero and I share a room, but not a bed.
I made an even bigger mess as I started to get ready to take a bath. I
practically ripped the Preventers jacket off of my shoulders and chucked
it onto my bed with such angry force that one of sleeves slapped me in
the eye on its way down. Letting out a stream of colorful words that I
had picked up off the streets during my blissful childhood, I sent my
shoes flying into the wall and practically tore my shirt trying to get
free from it. Good thing I was wearing a normal T-shirt underneath my
jacket. I was in no condition to handle something as irritatingly complex
as buttons at the moment. My shirt joined my jacket in the middle of my
bed. I managed to get free of my pants on the way to our bathroom, briefly
thanking a God I no longer believed in that I hadn't gotten a certain
valuable item caught in the zipper.
Yeah, that would have been bad.
I didn't even bother to unbraid my hair as I stalked into the bathroom
wearing only my birthday suit. If you have long hair, you know how I feel.
There are just some days you feel like dealing with it and some days you
wish you could just chop all of it off and say to hell with it! I quickly
started filling the bathtub with hot water. My and Heero's bathroom is
out of proportion with the rest of our apartment, if you ask me. I mean,
the thing has a sink, a bathtub, and a shower stall and still has room
for two people to walk around without bumping into each other. It's as
nearly as big as our entire fucking bedroom!
I didn't even wait for the bathtub to fill up completely. Sitting on the
edge of a bathtub butt naked, freezing your ass off, tends to make you
a little bit impatient at times. I hopped into the tub as soon as it was
halfway filled, nearly slipping and killing myself in the process. What
a pity that would be, right? I can't help it if I'm a little on the clumsy
side. I don't usually take baths, anyways. I just walk around stinky.
Just kidding! I take showers most of the time because…you know, I'm not
going to tell you why. Because I KNOW some of you out there will go, "Ew!
Duo, that is SO revolting! We SO did not need to know that!" But, hey,
it's the truth and you should know by now that I never tell a lie. And
hey, when you live with someone as drop-dead sexy as Heero Yuy, you got
to find some way to relieve any "tension" you might be feeling.
I also wash my hair in the shower, but that's boring. Everyone and their
mother does that.
Also, funny things happen to me when I take a bath. Now, I know this may
sound weird, but it's like, I don't know, I feel something is trickling
out of my soul and into the water. I feel all relaxed and sleepy, laying
there with my feet crammed up against one end of the bathtub and my head
against the other end. Sort of like I'm melting into a big puddle of goo
or something. But it's a good feeling, honest. I guess this is what they
mean when they say "wash all your worries away."
It was during this "Duo is a big puddle of goo" state that I started to
feel like a major shithead for snapping at Heero. I mean, the guy barely
talks and then when he does, I bite his head off. And the thing with Heero
is that he's a hell of a lot more vulnerable than other people like to
think. He never had to worry about the emotion thing before, and now that
he does, I swear it's like watching a baby taking their first steps. The
other day the neighbor came to the door asking for sugar (why she would
ask US for sugar, I DO NOT know) and as luck would have it, I was trying
to make dinner and Heero had to answer the door. And as I listened, he
just said to the neighbor in this really weird voice, "Hello. How are
you?" Perfectly average phrase, right? But the way he said it was just…awkward.
I mean, if you had passed by and heard him telling someone that, you would
think he didn't speak English and those were the only four words he knew.
It was kinda sad. To tell you the truth, I felt like crying when I heard
him say it.
But he tries. He really does.
It's hard to feel sorry for him, though. There's like this vibe he gives
off that sort of screams, "feel sorry for me and I'm not going to be your
friend." The guy's tough as nails, don't get me wrong, but he's only strong
at some things. I mean, he's got the balls enough to save the Earth from
mass destruction, but, I swear, do something nice for him and he'll stare
at you like you're some kind of freak. He's so irksome (I learned a new
word today) sometimes! I don't even know why I bother with him.
Okay, that was a big fucking lie. Sorry, okay?
I DO know why I bother. Because he's my best friend. Because I like him.
Because I like as in "like" him. Because he's a really nice guy when he
wants to be. Because he's infuriating when he doesn't talk and mean as
hell when he does. Because he has pretty blue eyes, soft hair, and a nice
ass. Because he eats what I cook without complaining. Because he yanks
on my braid to get me to shut up. Because I would mind screwing him silly
one night. Because he watches cartoons with me. Because I don't want him
living with someone who can't take care of him. Because he's Heero. Because
there's just something about him.
Hell…what am I saying? I'm in love with the guy. There's really no other
way to put it.
See? Look what happens when I go into my "puddle of goo" state! I turn
all mushy - inside and out. Grumbling to myself, I pulled my knees up
to my chest and let my body slide down into the bathtub water, pinching
my nose closed as the water slid over my head. Too late I realized that
I was getting my hair and braid all waterlogged and I would probably have
to wash it after all to avoid going around smelling like a wet dog. Just
I just floated there in the water for a little while, my eyes closed.
I like dunking my entire body underwater. I get a kick out of it. I don't
know - maybe I'm just weird. I find it relaxing, and relaxing was definitely
something I needed to do after the shitty day I had just gone through.
Unfortunately, there is such as thing as being TOO relaxed. If I had been
paying attention, I would have heard the door to the bathroom opening
as Heero crept in. But nope, there I was, playing in the tub like any
other little kid. Seriously, the only thing missing was the goddamn Rubber
Duckie. One minute, I have my eyes closed thinking "Hey, maybe I should
take a breath before I suffocate" and the next minute, my eyes are open
and peering down at me is this fucking HUGE version of Heero's face with
gelatinous eyes and a big ol' distorted pair of lips that looked like
they could swallow the world.
"Heero, what the hell are you doing?!" I tried to say, but of course,
I conveniently forgot that, yeah, I was still underwater. I accidentally
splashed Heero as I resurfaced, coughing and spitting water out of my
nose and mouth. I know that on account of my training, I'm not supposed
to surprise easily, but hey, it's not everyday that you find someone staring
down at you while you're taking a bath!
So, after I was done purging my nasal cavity of all unwanted fluids (and
then some), I turned to Heero, not sure whether to laugh at the absurdity
of the situation or to get mad at him…again.
"Heero," I sputtered, shoving my soaking bangs away from my eyes. "Um,
Just a note: I can usually come up with more interesting things to say
than just, "um, hi". See how Heero affects my thinking processes?
Of course, he didn't answer me. What was he supposed to say in such a
situation? He was crouched next to the bathtub, hands wrapped around the
edge of it and his chin resting on his fingers. He would have looked like
a curious little kid if I hadn't been able to see his broad shoulders,
which would definitely have looked out of place on a five-year-old. But
still, the way he was staring at me was fucking unnerving!
"So," I said uncomfortably, trying VERY hard to pretend that I wasn't
sitting butt naked in a bathtub. "Did you finish what you were working
"Hn," he grunted noncommittally and suddenly turned around so that his
strong back was pressed against the side of the tub, and I was left staring
at the back of his head. He folded his bare arms across his chest and
extended his long legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles,
just casual as you please. Even though there was NOTHING whatsoever that
was casual about this situation. I mean, Heero doesn't make a habit out
of coming and spending quality time with me when I'm taking a bath. I
swear this guy totally floors me sometimes! And there he was, pretending
like this was the normal swing of things.
So even though I liked staring at his long, graceful neck and how his
hair _almost_ curled at the ends, I had to say something. If there's anything
I can't stand, it's dead silence in the middle of an awkward situation.
"What are you doing in there?" I asked him, trying to arrange my legs
so I wasn't exposing so much of my…hidden assets.
"Sorry, I'll leave," he said flatly.
"No!" I cried, grabbing his arm with my soaking wet hand just as he was
starting to get up. "You, um, don't have to leave."
He looked at me funny (probably because I had just succeeded in getting
his entire arm drenched) but he reseated himself on the floor. However,
as I released his arm, I started feeling awkward again. I'm fucking weird,
I tell you. My mouth tends to take off without me at times. Okay, more
like most of the time…
So basically, I had made him stay for nothing and now I didn't know what
to do with him. The fact that he was seeing me naked didn't bother me;
I was born without shame. I'm always walking around naked when he's typing
on his laptop or whatever, and he never seems to give a hoot.
What was bothering me was that I was at a loss for words. Duo Maxwell
is never at a loss for words. It JUST DON'T HAPPEN, PEOPLE!! Needless
to say, it bugged me a little.
So, after some minor debate within the recesses of my twisted mind and
a lot of staring at the back of Heero's head, I decided to start babbling.
"Hey, Heero? Dude, I'm really sorry for snapping at you earlier. Really,
I am. It's just, I mean, I'm not in a very good mood right now. And to
answer your earlier question, my…mission…did go kinda…bad…"
More like really fucking bad.
"Someone died," Heero said, and for once, I didn't hear any trace of that
monotone in his voice. He turned around to face me in this slow, agonizing
fashion, but when I looked into his eyes, I could have sworn on my poor
Gundam's grave that I saw sympathy in those ocean blue depths.
My chest suddenly started to hurt, and I decided that I would rather admire
the soap scum on the side of the tub rather than Heero's face. "Y-Yeah,"
I stammered - something ELSE that I never do.
Heero was still staring at me, one arm draped over the side of the tub.
"Who were they?"
I suddenly heard myself laugh, just the most bitter, fucking ugly sound
you ever heard. "That's the thing. I don't even know who he was! Just
one stupid little boy. Damn bratty…kid…standing…in…the goddamn…way…"
By then I was ready to start bawling. I don't know what happened to me.
I'm usually not this much of a pussy, I swear it. Maybe it was the fact
that I was still in a semi "puddle of goo" state. Maybe it was Heero's
sympathetic eyes on me. Maybe it was the dumb idea that hey, I'm sitting
in a bathtub filled with water already, why not add a few of my own tears
to the mixture?
But whatever was wrong with me was seriously fucking with my head. I felt
all those goddamn tears stinging my eyes, and for some reason, instead
of looking away, I turned to stare right at Heero. And what I saw in those
Prussian blue eyes shocked the hell out of me. I realized what I had been
seeing in those depths hadn't been sympathy, but understanding.
I guess I sort of lost it then. Before I knew what I was doing, I was
reaching out and flinging my arms around Heero's neck, suddenly desperately
needing to feel him close to me. I didn't even care if he got disgusted
and pushed me away. I just wanted to hold him. I wanted him to hold me.
I don't really know what I fucking wanted. I just…wanted so much and so
little at the same time.
I wanted Heero. Only Heero.
So you can only imagine the emotions that washed over me when I felt him
rise to his knees so that he could better wrap his arms around my body.
I was getting his tank top all wet, but he didn't seem to care. He hugged
me deliciously hard, fingers digging into my back as he pressed his cheek
against mine, murmuring intelligible words into my ear. I just buried
my fingers in his hair and pressed my face into his strong shoulder, letting
his scent surround me completely. And for the first time in a long time,
I felt a true, genuine sense of peace. Not the peace Relena gives her
speeches on. No, what I felt was a peace in my - corny as it sounds -soul.
In the arms of a man whose hands were just as fucking bloody as my own.
I don't know how long we stayed like that, just holding each other tight.
Time didn't exist for me then. I might have cried a little, but I don't
think so. I'm a tough little asshole. Even if you beat me down to the
ground, I'll come back for more. Even the Great Almighty God of Justice
Fei-babe says that I have an "annoying persistent ‘bounce-back' factor."
It isn't very long before I can take a serious situation and laugh my
ass off about it. And after hugging Heero like that, I was feeling all
warm and mushy and good inside.
I was just opening my mouth to tell him something deep and meaningful
when the doorbell rang. I now find doorbells very annoying because of
"Oh good GOD!!" I exclaimed, trying not to feel brutally disappointed
as Heero drew back from me. "Who the FUCK is that and can I SHOOT them?!"
"I think it's the pizza man," Heero muttered, looking at the open bathroom
door but making no move to go towards it.
I blinked dumbly at him, nearly choking on the angry words I had been
ready to say. "Pizza? You ordered pizza?"
Heero can't stand pizza.
"Yes, I ordered pizza," he said evenly, directing his words towards the
tiled floor rather than at me.
"But…you don't like pizza, Heero."
"I ordered it for you," he said quietly. "Because you…like it and you
were…having a bad day and all…"
My heart melted right then and there. Into a big fucking pile of lovely
goo. It was the most wonderful feeling I've ever experienced in my entire
miserable life. Better than a long, hot shower. Better than a mind-blowing
orgasm. Better than that first gulp of Coca Cola. Man, I was on cloud
Damn. Sometimes Heero can be so…sweet.
"I'll go get it," he suddenly said, starting to get to his feet.
Come on, people. Like I was really going to let him get away?
"Hey you," I told him, grabbing a fistful of the front of his tank top
and tugging him back towards me.
"What?" he demanded, trying to sound grumpy but failing. He was looking
at me in this innocent sort of fashion, like he was afraid I was going
to get mad at him or something.
I smiled at him and gave him a big, sloppy kiss right smack on his lips,
sliding my tongue into his mouth when he gasped in surprise. It wasn't
at all like I imagined our first _real_ kiss being, actually. What I had
been envisioning was a long, passionate, thorough kiss as we slowly undressed
each other, getting ready for a night in the heavens. But this was nice;
this was very nice. More tongue than lip action, but Heero didn't seem
to mind at all. He had his fingers buried in my damp hair as he kissed
me back furiously, his lips crushing mine and his tongue sparring with
my own. I was starting to think that he was going to hop into the bathtub
with me (please do!) when the damn doorbell suddenly rang again.
Startled, Heero pulled back, his breath coming in hard, fast pants. He
stared at me guiltily, looking the proverbial kid with his hand caught
in the cookie jar.
Fucking adorable, I tell you. Especially with those big blue eyes and
his lips all puffy and half-open as he breathed.
God, I loved him so much it hurt.
But, of course, instead of saying all the mushy things that were running
amok in my pea-sized brain, I just laughed and tweaked Heero's nose, making
him blink in surprise.
"Better go get that pizza before the guy breaks down the door," I teased.
Heero stunned me by giving me a quick, wet kiss on the mouth before he
rose to his feet, my hand sliding from where it still had been balled
up in his tank top.
"Hurry up and finish in there," he said lightly, eyes shining mysteriously.
And he smiled - actually SMILED - at me before striding quickly out of
Hurry up and finish? Damn…he didn't need to tell me twice! It was then
that I noticed how hungry I was. I could taste that pizza already.
But I didn't really care about the damn pizza at the moment. More important
as I started sudsing up furiously was the clean, sweet taste of Heero
lingering on my lips. I just wanted to see Heero again, even though he
had been gone for - what? - two seconds or so? I'm just the biggest sap
you've ever come across, right? But, hey, I can't help myself.
There's just something about that guy…and I love him for it, whatever
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