Walls Come Tumbling Down (cont)
"That's not what you told me
before," Heero jumped in immediately, voice cold. "You told me that you
didn't have anywhere else to go."
"You're avoiding the question, Wufei."
"I'm getting the impression that you're angry with me."
This time there was a definite flash of emotion that crossed Heero's face
before it was gone in the next instant. "And you're angry with me, Wufei,"
he said in that deep monotone of his.
Wufei suddenly couldn't bear to look upon Heero any longer. Those impossibly
deep Prussian blue eyes. The strong, well-muscled body. The night-filled
window behind him making his figure faintly shadowy at the edges. With
a snort, he whirled away from Heero, violently stripping the Preventers
jacket off his shoulders in the same fluid motion.
"I don't see any reason for you to be angry with me," Wufei snapped, finding
it much easier to talk now that he didn't have Heero's alluring figure
blazing in his eyes. Instead of hanging up his jacket like he usually
did, he simply chucked it to the floor of his closet, toeing his shoes
off and discarding them in there as well.
"I've done nothing to you," Wufei continued, shutting his closet door
with a bang but refusing to turn around to face Heero. "All I'm trying
to do is lead a
"What you're leading is a false existence," Heero said flatly, but Wufei
felt the wave of resentment that struck him in back, forcing him to whirl
around in an angry haze.
"False existence?!" Wufei demanded, clenching his hands into fists. "Explain,
Prussian blue eyes glared at him from under a mop of dark brown bangs.
"I think you know what I'm talking about."
Wufei matched him glare for glare. "No, apparently I DON'T."
Heero's jaw clenched in one last ditch effort to contain the words that
were threatening to spill from his lips, but naturally, it failed. "What
you're doing here in the Preventers is no different from what we did during
the war. Wufei, you're not LIVING, you're only SURVIVING. Fighting for
your life as surely as you fought for it during the war. The times changed
without you, and here you are: trying to lead a pathetic excuse for a
life. It's false, all of it."
A deep scowl came to Wufei's face as bitter rage stung the back of his
throat. "False it may be!" he exclaimed. "But at least it's SOMETHING!!
It's more than what you did! What was with the vanishing act, Heero?!
No one has seen you for half a year and all of sudden you appear in my
office spouting all this morbid philosophical nonsense at me! When did
you get your twisted ideals so perfectly in order that you think that
you can come here and tell ME what's wrong with the life I'm leading!"
"You're living in lies, Wufei," Heero said coldly, eyes glittering.
"Better than running from them, you coward!" Wufei retorted viciously.
"You haven't the right to call me a coward," Heero seethed. "You know
nothing about what I've been feeling these past six months."
"You know what? You're absolutely correct," Wufei snapped mockingly. "I
don't know how you feel because you and I ARE NOTHING ALIKE, to use your
Heero's response was a deathglare of apocalyptic proportions, his full
lips twisting into what could almost be considered a sneer. Instead of
answering, he shoved away from the window, his movements stiff and jerky,
speaking in volumes. Suddenly he lifted his hands and wrapped his fingers
around the collar of his denim jacket, stripping it off his shoulders
in one deft motion, exposing the bare skin of his arms to Wufei's surprised
eyes. Six months hadn't destroyed the muscles in Heero's lean arms, and
Wufei couldn't help but stare as the other man turned his back to him
and draped his jacket calmly over the back of the desk's chair. Only instead
of whirling around to face Wufei, Heero clutched the back of the chair
in a death grip, hunching over slightly and lowering his head so that
his messy brown hair swooped forward to hide his eyes.
//What's wrong with him?//
Wufei was worried, but he refused to allow himself to express such an
emotion. He didn't want to become involved with anyone or anything right
"Don't go making yourself at home," he forced himself to say coldly. "If
all you came here looking for is pity, then there's the door."
Wufei might have detected a faint trembling in Heero's broad shoulders,
but he quickly convinced himself that he was seeing things. Weakness in
Heero Yuy was unheard of
"Seriously, Yuy," Wufei continued, mouth moving of its own violation now.
"I have no idea why you've come back after all this time but-"
"I thought I could handle it," Heero suddenly said, something in his voice
making the harsh words on Wufei's tongue vanish into nothing.
"I wanted peace as much as anyone did," Heero continued, and this time
it was definite. His shoulders were shaking. "I didn't want to have to
fight any longer. Too much death. Too much blood. And so I strove to build
this peaceful world. But
once it was all over
I realized that
I had been fighting for everyone but myself. I constructed this world
for Relena, for the citizens of Earth and the colonies
myself. I fought for everyone's happiness but my own. The ultimate act
of selflessness. I suppose that makes me a fucking SAINT, doesn't it?"
Wufei was shocked. How could Heero feel this way? In his mind's eye, he
saw Wing Zero plummeting into the ocean, choosing the silence at the bottom
of the sea rather than the raging battle that Wufei and Nataku were waging
against it. And he heard Heero's voice: "Tell me, Wufei
He felt a soul weary of killing, a soul lusting for peace. And Wufei felt
the loneliness festering in his own heart. Wing Zero was gone. Heero was
gone. He was all alone.
"I thought I was strong enough to handle it," Heero continued, his monotone
fighting a loosing battle with his emotions. "I really did. No more war.
No more battles. But
the silence, the absence of EVERYTHING came
soon after peace was declared. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself.
My world came tumbling down around my ears, and I was almost buried with
it. You vanished right after Mariemaia's fall, Wufei, and I was afraid
the new era had destroyed you as well. I was scared and so I ran. And
I hid, like the coward you said I was."
He suddenly released his death grip on the back of the chair and straightened,
his hair falling back from his face as he let his eyes drift over to where
Wufei was standing, dumbstruck. "But then I come back," Heero said softly.
"And I see that the warrior's fire hasn't gone out of your eyes, Wufei.
You are still proud, defiant
beautiful, like the dragon you are
often referred to as. Your heart is still wild."
" The name slipped past Wufei's lips before he could stop
"I'm happy that I got the chance to see you again," Heero said with heartbreaking
sincerity. "I really missed you, Wufei."
Those words stole Wufei's voice from his throat - hell, they stole his
whole damn heart from his chest. It was only then that he realized that
he had missed Heero as well. Missed him more than anything in the world.
He wanted so desperately to say something - anything - to express what
he was feeling, but words failed him.
So he could only watch mutely as Heero tore his gaze away from him and
walked slowly over to the bed, radiating insecurity as he seated himself
on the edge, springs creaking slightly under his unfamiliar weight. He
ran questing fingertips over the smooth comforter, tracing the abstract
designs as if they were the most fascinating things in the universe. He
started to lie down, but he suddenly seemed to have second thoughts and
removed his boots before tentatively laying his head on the pillow, raising
his legs and resting them cautiously on the bed as well. All of his movements
were tense and timid, as if the softness of the pillow and mattress were
alien to him.
"Been a long time since I've slept in a bed," Heero commented, staring
vacantly up at the ceiling, eyes unfocused.
"Where have you been all this time?" Wufei asked quietly, trying to the
ignore the fact that seeing Heero lying on his bed sent pleasurable shivers
coursing down his body.
"I wish I could tell you," Heero murmured. "But I really don't know. I
just walked the world for what seemed like forever. It was all so different,
so new. I hated it, but I loved it at the same time."
"I know how that feels," Wufei said, more to himself than to Heero. Before
he knew what he was doing, he was moving away from his position in front
of the closet door, his feet taking him up to the side of the bed that
Heero was sprawled limply across. Prussian blue eyes suddenly came back
into clear focus and flicked in Wufei's direction, staring up at him evenly
from underneath thick lashes.
//He's so beautiful
Carefully, Wufei reached out with gentle fingers and touched Heero's shoulder,
fingertips lightly stroking the warm, silken flesh. How long had it been
since had had willingly touched another person like this? Simple friction
of skin sliding over skin, fleeting touch though it was. Heero's skin
was smooth and firm, flawless except for the pair of twin scars a little
ways down on his bicep, evidence of just what a grueling war it had been.
He tapped Heero on the shoulder. "Move over."
For a moment, Heero just blinked up at him, but then he rolled over onto
his side as Wufei slowly eased himself onto the bed beside Heero, lying
on his side so that he was face to face with the other man, breathing
in his dangerous scent and feeling his warmth all around him. Lightly,
he stroked Heero's arm with his entire hand this time, loving the feel
of the muscles underneath the taut skin and the strong curve of his shoulder.
All the while, his eyes stared into Heero's, unable to look away. It wasn't
so much the color of the other man's eyes that mesmerized him so much
as what was held in their unseen depths. Heero had very honest eyes. People
often called Heero emotionless, something that was very far from the truth.
If Heero was feeling anything, it almost always showed deep in his eyes.
You just had to know where to look.
And now those beautiful eyes had so many different emotions flickering
inside them that the sheer force of them combined made Wufei's heart pound
out of control in his chest. He wondered if all he was feeling was reflected
in his eyes as well.
"I missed you, Heero," Wufei suddenly confessed, lost in those blue eyes.
"Why did you leave me behind? Why?"
Heero's face softened, the guarded look in his eyes easing as he gently
removed Wufei's hand from his shoulder, tenderly kissing the inside of
his wrist. "I'm sorry," he murmured, eyes locked onto Wufei's even as
he rubbed the soft flesh with his thumb.
Heero's name escaped his lips in a single breathless exclamation before
Wufei closed the inches separating them, meshing his mouth over the other
man's. The lips beneath his were as soft as he remembered, and just as
willing. He ran his tongue along them, tracing the familiar contours of
the tender flesh. Heero gasped softly and opened his mouth, which Wufei
eagerly plunged his tongue into, moaning as he reveled in the hot, wet
cavern. Heero suddenly rolled onto his back, taking Wufei with him.
Dragging his mouth away from Heero's hungry one, Wufei trailed hot kisses
down his jawline until he reached his neck, remembered how sensitive Heero
was there. He ran his tongue blindly over the heated skin until he found
a place where Heero's pulse was throbbing wildly. Immediately, he latched
onto this area, sucking gently on the flesh, pushing his tongue against
it again and again, lost in the taste of what was so divinely Heero that
it would never be mistaken for any other.
"Oh yes, right there," Heero gasped breathlessly, tugging Wufei's shirt
out of his pants with rough hands.
"You sure you want this, Heero?" Wufei asked needlessly, right before
he ran his tongue up the entire length of Heero's throat.
Heero's only response was to groan loudly and dig his head back into the
pillow to give Wufei better access to his neck. Wufei need no other encouragement,
not with Heero's alluring scent surrounding him, taking him over. Still
sucking on Heero's throat, he slid his hands underneath the man's shirt,
running them all over the heaving belly before letting his callused fingertips
graze a pair of sensitive nipples. Heero jumped at the unexpected caress,
then began to writhe in pleasure as he felt his nipples being pinched
softly, then rubbed in slow, torturous circles until they were hard.
"Take this OFF," Heero growled, yanking on Wufei's shirt, his voice sending
soft rumbles along the length of his throat.
Wufei smiled into the flesh of Heero's neck and gave the man's nipples
one last pinch before straightening up, moving so that he was straddling
Heero's hips. He hesitated a moment to drink in the sight of Heero beneath
him - muscled stomach exposed by the rumpled tank top, lips full and swollen,
eyes heavy-lidded with passion. Had he ever wanted or cared for anyone
as much as this man?
Quickly, Wufei grabbed the hem of his own shirt and lifted it, blind for
a second as the cloth slid over his head. Heero's warm body suddenly shifted
beneath his, and before Wufei knew what was happening, he felt a hot,
wet mouth close over one of his nipples, equally hot hands slipping around
his waist and running up and down his naked back. A gasp escaped his lips
as his shirt fell from his nerveless fingers.
"Heero," he moaned, burying his fingers in the man's dark hair and pulling
him closer, never wanting to let him go. Heero continued to lap tenderly
at the taut nipple before his tongue traced a line of fire across Wufei's
chest to the other one, taking it into his mouth and suckling ferociously,
tongue swirling around it wildly. Wufei gripped Heero tighter and moaned
in ecstasy, letting the pleasure created by Heero's ministrations rush
straight to the pool of fire between his legs.
"I'd almost forgotten how you taste," Heero whispered feverishly, licking
Wufei's chest lovingly.
"I'd almost forgotten what it feels like to hold you," Wufei murmured
just as heatedly, hands running all over Heero's strong back.
"Show me, Wufei," Heero gasped as his mouth once again found a taut nipple.
"Show me how to live."
Times change. People change. Wufei knew that alterations were necessary
for the evolution of mankind as a whole. It was truly all an "endless
waltz." Everything lives. Everything dies. But not everything changes.
Heero Yuy and Chang Wufei were two of those things. Wufei lived by the
sword, and he would die by the sword. Heero was raised an assassin, and
an assassin he would always remain, at least in his heart of hearts. No
one else could understand this because, in all reality, Heero and Wufei
were the last of their kinds. The Perfect Soldier and the only surviving
member of the Dragon Clan.
They were two things in this new age of peace that would remain constant.
Heero would always be a soldier, and Wufei would always be a warrior.
Peace and war could rage right outside their window, and their sacred
union would still be the same. The Earth could be destroyed by a firestorm
or an arctic freeze, but neither would change the feeling of Heero in
his arms, skin like satin, muscles like liquid steel. He trembled a bit
and raked blunt fingernails across Wufei's back when the other man slid
inside him, but his tight, throbbing passage stretched to accommodate
the lover whose touch he had been missing for nearly three years. It was
all the same. The raging heat inside Heero. The scent of him. The wild
presence that demanded release. Wufei buried his face in Heero's neck
and began to thrust in and out of him violently, knowing that the other
man wasn't going to shatter like glass in his arms. Heero moved with him
in the same wild, savagely harmonious rhythm, heated confessions falling
from his lips in between gasps.
It was so delightfully dangerous. The door was unlocked. The walls in
the quarters were thin. But Wufei didn't care. Throwing all caution out
the window, he screamed Heero's name with all his heart's desire as he
released his seed inside the other man, not even noticing when Heero bit
down on his naked shoulder to drown out the sounds of his own climax,
letting them instead wash over the heated skin of his lover.
Oblivion came calling for him then, and Wufei barely had enough energy
to slide out of Heero and roll off of him, pressing a blind kiss on his
lips as he did so. The last things he remembered were Heero curling up
against him and a blissful silence descending over the room.
Wufei watched through half-closed, sated eyes as the ceiling fan spun
slowly on the ceiling, its blades creaking ominously. Every morning, he
always woke up and lay in his cold, empty bed, keen black eyes tracing
the languid motions of that annoying fan. But today, the fan didn't seem
so annoying. His bed wasn't cold, and neither was it empty.
Heero was still asleep with his head resting on Wufei's chest, pressed
up against his flank with one leg flung over the smaller man's hips, his
breathing slow and even. The scents of sex and Heero still hung in the
air, and Wufei breathed them in deeply. He hadn't felt this way in a long
time. He had always had the feeling that something was missing from his
life. Every morning, he almost regarded the coming dawn with a sense of
detachment, not at all thrilled about what the day would bring. He hadn't
known the source of that feeling until last night, when Heero had abruptly
reentered his life and had laid the truth before him, humiliating though
It scared him, this new peaceful world. Scared him so badly that Wufei,
like Heero, had chosen to remain voluntarily caught in limbo, a soldier
frozen in time, unable to adapt to a world where he really had no place
to exist. It seemed the entire universe had changed, churning into a massive
whirlwind and whisking away, leaving redundant soldiers like Wufei and
Heero behind in the cold. Ever since Mariemaia's downfall, Wufei had been
struggling to keep up and fit into a world that kept shoving him away
and spitting him out, unable to stomach the taste of his bloody hands
and warrior's spirit. He had thought he was alone in his feelings.
Absently, he stroked Heero's naked back, fingertips ghosting across the
smooth flesh. Though still asleep, Heero responded by sighing softly and
nestling closer to his lover, tucking his head under Wufei's chin, seeking
warmth and comfort even in the realm of the unconscious. Wufei smiled
and pressed a kiss into Heero's hair, breathing in his scent contentedly.
Yes, even in this peaceful world, Heero's scent of danger still remained,
out-of-place and outdated though it was. Just like Wufei's archaic sense
of justice and his strict adherence to cherished traditions. Two sides
of the same coin.
Maybe, possibly, this was happiness lying his arms, leg thrown over his
hips, arm draped across his chest protectively. Maybe this was love.
Even as Wufei lazily pondered these things, he knew no answers would come
to him, and for the first time, he wasn't bothered by the fact that his
questions would go unanswered. This world was not enough for souls like
himself and Heero; it didn't have the answers that Wufei was always demanding.
But the past was now behind him, the present standing motionless in a
perpetual state of bliss rather than misery.
And the future was there like it always was, winding out in front of him
in dozens of twists and turns, roads cavorting with one another like lovers
in the endless waltz of life. Wufei used to fear getting lost or swallowed
up by those hungry destinies, alone in his fate. But now that he wasn't
alone any longer, the future didn't seem so bad.
He had Heero at his side, in his arms, in his heart. And that was enough
to last him an eternity.
Still I ain't seen mine
No, I ain't seen mine
Been giving just ain't been getting
I've been walking that there line
So I think I'll keep on walking
With my head held high
I'll keep moving on
And only God knows why
-- "Only God Knows Why", Kid Rock
I'm a renegade survivor
A new age warrior
And I'm trapped in the universe
Searching for the future
-- "Renegade Survivor", Wailing Souls
[back to Flamika's fic]