Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Male/Male sex, violence, very rough sex, abuse, graphic, language,
What's it like to cut through
a mobile suit with a laser scythe? Like hacking through a jungle with
a machete... well, only if you don't remember that you're cutting flesh
and blood along with suit metal and electronics, only if you don't think
about someone's future your slicing in half, someone's career, someone's
family, someone's son or daughter.... Yeah, I try very hard never to think
about that. Instead, I think about winning, I think about computer simulations...
hack, slash, bang, you're dead... just electronics and digital ghosts....
just beating the bad guy... just trying to stay alive another day. It
worked for me, as long as they didn't try to talk to me over their coms.
It was hard to concentrate on my mental cover story when they were screaming
for their lives.
Shinigami, God of Death, protege' of the God of Pestilence, Dr. G., It
got me through the tough days, imaging myself bigger than life and protecting
the colonists. Sometimes, though, it wore thin, and today was one of them.
There had been too many young kids, like myself, in those suits, and they
hadn't died with that noble, military fortitude. Fuck Oz for turning out
the kids when they were running short of real soldiers. Fuck me for having
to kill them. Fuck the war for making it all necessary.
I left a field of debris, and cut short hopes and dreams, and turned Deathscythe
back for home. Not a house with comforting family, ready to hear about
my troubles, but a dark forest thick enough to hide a suit, rocky mountains
to keep away casual sweeps, and a ramshackle hut some poor hunter probably
used on weekends... or did before Trowa shook hands with him and then
buried him downwind under a tree. Non combatant? Not fair? You tell me
what about a war is fair? I have enough personal experience to think he
did good to even get a burial.
We used our 'home' to fan out and terrorize the countryside. A few days
forays, a few installations and weapons depots trashed, and then new orders
will send us slipping off into the shadows again and finding a new place
to call home base. Wether together or apart, there wasn't any knowing,
so my time with Heero was something that I was taking full advantage of.
I tore off my shirt in the heat and tied it around my waist as I hiked
through the forest. I followed a compass and directions coded on a napkin
back. There wasn't a trail and remembering the way through thickets of
ferns and huge tree trunks in the gloom was completely impossible for
someone like me, raised on space station city streets. I wasn't surprised
when the welcome mat included a glock and the dark, glaring eyes of my
lover, Heero Yuy.
Heero grabbed the napkin out of my hand and glared at it in disbelief
before he crumpled it into one, hard fist. I grinned and held out my hands,
looking defenseless, but ready to block and run. "Hey, it's the only way
I can find this place," I began, but the hand with the glock snagged me
behind the neck and Heero pulled me close with a violent jerk.
His eyes are dark blue. When he gets really pissed, they almost turn black.
Right now, I was looking at twin, black windows of death. Distraction
works, especially when that distraction was something that Heero wanted
"Mission complete," I told him, trying not to squeak it and trying to
look relaxed and cheerful. I wasn't going to add fuel to the fire. I had
to light another fire as a fire break. "I destroyed the munitions dump
and the suits guarding it. No witnesses."
The hard grip tightened and then Heero grunted and let me go. I staggered
a little and rubbed at the back of my neck. There were going to be some
painful bruises there, but he'd given me worse in the recent past.
"Any new orders?" I asked, another good distraction. Heero lived for specs
and mission parameters.
"Negative," Heero replied. "The perimeter is secure and radio chatter
hasn't included any reports of scouting missions in this area. They believe
that our Gundams can't maneuver in these mountains, so they think that
it is unlikely for us to be here."
My grin widened. "Idiots."
Heero nodded in agreement.
There was a pause, a moment when Heero was completely still and... not
doing anything. If you know him, like I do, you realize how wrong that
is. Heero is always alert, always moving, always doing something. I knew
the sign, knew what he wanted, knew why he had been waiting for me so
far from our one room hut and the other pilots.
Romance... Words of love...Foreplay? You've got to be kidding! Heero was
only pausing because he wasn't exactly sure how to rip my clothes off
of me, and stick it in, without it being rape. I'd warned him about that
already. He was a powerful man and sometimes he didn't get that whole,
'get the hell off me or I'll kill you.' thing. He wanted. He knew I wanted
too. He didn't know what my problem was when I wasn't in the mood or just
wanted to do something else... like talk. We did talk... sometimes. Sometimes,
he was even nice and showed me the side of him that actually cared...
about me... sometimes... But time was short and, lately I was starting
to wonder about tomorrow and whether I was going to make it, whether I
was going to be the kid screaming for mercy while some guy, who was just
doing what he had to, cut me in half.
I kept the lube and the condoms in my pocket. I knew stage one was to
get Heero to take them and use them before we went any further. Heero
is... large... and he gets a hardon like Gundanium. He also likes to pound...
in me... hard... fast...
The glock went into its holster with a dangerous sound and Heero took
the supplies. The hand returned to the back of my neck and he jerked me
to his lips. He was better at kissing, but it was still like being eaten
alive by a brick wall. The man was all planes and angles, not an ounce
of fat, and he felt like it.
Why bother with kissing? It was one of my closely cherished proofs that
the sonofabitch soldier boy actually did care about me. If I was just
a warm place to stick his dick, then why exchange spit? No reason and
no reason wasn't in Heero Yuy's war manual. Neither was wasting time.
We were in a clump of large ferns before I realized it and Heero was showing
an impressive tent in his spandex. I reached out and worked the stretchy
material out and down and it sprang free, a good seven inches of swollen,
rigid flesh that was as soft as a baby's cheek, but a softness sheathing
an unforgiving hardness.
I went to my knees. I watched as his cock oozed and dribbled, twitched
and stood up, almost putting him off balance. Looking up, I leaned forward
and took the head in my mouth. The hand at the back of my neck tightened,
but he didn't work me like I knew he wanted to. He waited, staring down
at me, and watching as I slowly dipped my tongue into the dripping hole
and then swirled hard inside.
We were young. Stamina when it came to sex wasn't ours just then. I couldn't
tease him for long. I settled for a few sucks, liking the salty taste
that told me he had been working out before I had arrived. That told me
why he was so eager for me. Adrenalin and endorphines were aphrodisiacs
to young men.
I was his bitch. I liked the thought of it. It made my blood sing and
my own cock throb and want free of my pants. I licked at him, a complete
whore for the taste of him, as I unzipped and pushed my pants down. We
didn't undress completely, not there, not when danger might find us, whatever
radio chatter said. My pants settled at my knees and I stroked myself.
I was shocked when I was suddenly pinned down and my shirt, still tied
around my waist, was used as a convenient way to tie my hands behind my
back. I bucked against Heero's knee holding me down, furious and... afraid.
He was a crazy fuck. Who knew what he was up to? I felt precum drool onto
my back, hot and thick. The bastard was enjoying himself.
Heero leaned and said with a tight, hard smile, "Payback."
I had tied him up early in our relationship, mostly to keep myself alive,
but a little because I liked the thought of having someone as strong as
Heero under my control. He'd had plenty of chances to get revenge since
then, though, and hadn't taken them. Why now?
"Let me go," I fumed. "You just lost yourself a fuck, Yuy! I am NOT playing
Heero grunted and pulled my hips up, making me take a very submissive
posture. I held it even after he let go, though, and my curses were lacking
in conviction even in my own ears. Chest on the ground, with ferns tickling
my nose, and on my knees, with my ass in the air and dapples of sunlight
playing over it, I tested the strength of the shirt. Heero knew his knots,
though, and I wasn't getting free.
I had to know. "Why?"
Heero smoothed a hand over the small of my back and the curve of my ass.
"You are always in control. How else am I supposed to change that?"
I gaped. I led in every thing that we did, sexually, because I was that
sure that, if I didn't, Heero would end up killing me. The man was too
strong, too inexperienced... I wanted to survive, pure and simple. He'd
already shown a penchant for taking what he wanted. I supposed that this
was just another aspect of that. I was being too careful and too controlling,
so... he was going to rape me so he could feel like the big man.
"You could have just asked!" I snarled. "Talking is good, Heero. Tying
up and fucking is bad."
Heero leaned in close and said, "We don't have much time."
I turned my head to stare at him and he looked back, blue eyes under dark,
messy bangs. Okay, maybe I had been telling him what to do, not giving
him any chance to rip me open... but maybe this was part of that relationship
stuff, the part where you trust the other guy...or girl... or whatever,
not to go too far? Maybe that's what Heero wanted, not just to screw me
bloody without me fighting back, but for me to trust him to call the shots?
I licked nervous lips. Okay, not that I had much choice here, but as long
as it didn't go too far, there was something about being tied up that
was making me hotter than a mobile suit in overload. I wasn't into the
rape shit, but I didn't think that was what this was. Heero wasn't humiliating
me or using me, he was simply making sure that he was in the driver's
seat. Okay, let's not start splitting hairs and pointing out how screwed
up that is, and how screwed up I am.... I was Horny. I wanted to fuck...
Heero... so... I sighed and relaxed. I rested my chin on the ground and
lifted my ass higher.
Bitch. I felt hot between my legs, heavy and swollen, and I itched for
Heero down deep, where I knew only he could scratch. I wanted to be his
bitch, his tied up, Gundam pilot bitch if that's the way he wanted it.
Heero crouched over me. I heard lube and condom. That was a relief in
itself. His lubed fingers, shoving into my ass, were less welcome, but
I rode with it, and rode them when I grew used to them. He worked me,
the bastard, and I heard him breathing hard, enjoying himself. One of
his big, calloused hands, stroked me, weighed my balls, rolled them, and
then gripped my sack at the base. No guy likes his balls used like reins,
especially when he's being pulled up while a huge cock is being shoved
into his ass. Think of missiles, torpedoes... I was spread wide and impaled.
He left off his ball torture and used both hands to grab my hips. He pulled
me back onto him, crouching behind, sheathing himself inch by torturous
He stopped. I didn't expect that. He moved until he covered me completely,
body to body, and cheek near mine. "All right?" he asked.
I grinned and turned to kiss what I could reach. "All right," I breathed
and I was suddenly sure that I was safe, that this wasn't going to be
more than I could stand. I was going to trust that Heero really cared
Heero began to thrust, crude and deep. Rocking motions pulled that large
cock in and out of me, first at a lazy speed and then quicker as I loosened.
I whimpered and moaned, gritting my teeth, but it was because my own cock
was being neglected, than from any real pain. The shirt loosened. My hands
were suddenly free. I didn't use them to fight. I used my freedom to grab
my raging hardon and to start pumping it.
Heero was pounding now, driving my hips forward and my face into the dirt.
He never left my depths, though. He didn't stab. He just kept a maddening
rhythm that massaged a part of me that only he could reach. I came explosively,
hot white heat all over my hand, and Heero came inside of me, body clenching
around mine as he groaned and shot his load.
We separated. I wiped my hand on my shirt and Heero used a long sleeve
to clean himself up. Pulling up his spandex we sat, shoulder to shoulder,
and caught our breaths.
Heero looked at me. I looked back.
"I..." Heero struggled.
If you're waiting for words of love, you'll be sorely disappointed. Maybe
he thought them deep down, but I don't think I'll ever hear them. The
hints he gave were enough for me. It gave me hope, after all.
"Are you all right?" Heero managed.
It was Heero's new, catchall phrase, I decided. It could mean anything
I wanted it to. Right then, me and my sore ass, wanted it to mean that
he cared about and loved me. Hey, if I'm delusional I might as well go
all the way.
"Yeah," I replied as I leaned and bumped against his shoulder. "Let's
talk next time instead of tie me up, okay?" Heero nodded and looked almost
Heero stood and lowered a hand. I glared and stood on my own. Zipping
up my pants, I hooked a hand in the waist line of his spandex. "Come on,
Big guy, we should be getting back to the other guys."
Heero raised an eyebrow. "Big Guy?"
"What else should I call it?" I chuckled as I pulled on his spandex and
pretended to look inside.
Heero smacked my hand aside and grunted irritably. I shrugged and took
the lead toward the hut. A hand settled on the back of my jeans and Heero's
fingers hooked into the waist of my pants, as if he didn't want to lose
me in the gloom. I was suddenly pulled backwards into his chest. Lips
sought mine as I turned my head to look at him, and then he was shoving
me forward again. I stumbled, caught my balance, and then started walking
with a happy grin on my face. Like I said, I'll take what I can get and
read what I want into it. It was the first time, though, that I really
felt that I was right.
[back to Kracken's fic]