Disclaimer:Don't own them and don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, PWPness, hot lickety, lemony
sex, much sapness.
of the Heart
"Here, in here," Duo said breathlessly
and pulled me in to a back bedroom at Quatre's estate. He closed the door
against the sounds of the Christmas party downstairs and then leaned against
it, looking at me with anticipation and... yes... some trepidation.
"I..." Duo stopped and licked his lips. His eyes swept the room and he
moved away from the door, trying to find something to say. "Quatre has
such nice digs. I bet he has a hundred rooms and no one's ever slept here."
Slept here. He stopped and looked everywhere but at me, understanding
that he had said something he might not have been ready for.
"It's all right," I told him softly as I loosened my constricting tie.
"We... I..." I forced a tremulous smile. I couldn't reassure him without
saying the same thing myself, that we had gone to that room for something
other than talking.
How had it happened, I wasn't sure. During the war, he had been a good
fighter, a handsome boy, an annoying obstacle sometimes, and the best
pilot I had ever known. My head had been full throttle into the war, though,
brain washed by deep training to give everything for the cause. Duo had
barely registered, beyond 'good soldier'. So it had been astonishing to
see him after a year and to have a completely different reaction to him,
one that had me crossing a crowded ballroom floor, chasing a long cinnamon
braid and a pair of amethyst eyes.
I can't describe the feeling I experienced, standing toe to toe with him.
When he realized that I was there, when his eyes rose to mine, something
connected between us. Not flashes of light, not fireworks or solar flares...
just a sure, unshakeable knowledge that we were... meant to be together,
that now was the time that we had been unconsciously waiting for. It probably
sounds ridiculous, but my first thought was , 'So much time wasted already.'
I ached at the thought of the years that had gone by without him in my
life. Ever want to live forever? I wanted to, with all my heart, so that
I could spend that eternity with him.
We moved as one, walking away from the crowd. Duo was talking, but I could
hardly hear him. We ducked behind a thick column and faced each other
again. Then I heard him saying, "...did some salvage work and a delivery
service, if you can believe it. Kind of at loose ends now, trying to find
something not so boring, but not something to get myself killed over either."
I was nodding, agreeing. "I was with the Preventers, but now... I'm back
at school. I know I was trained far and above most people our age, but
there are things an environment like a university can teach me, things
other than how to wire bombs and hack into systems."
Duo was smiling warmly and then he said with a shy grin, "You know, when
we were undercover at some of those schools, I kind of wished you could
stay there and not go blow things up. You always looked..." He blushed
and ducked his head. Those bangs of his could hide many things. "You did
way more for the cause than anyone had a right to ask of you."
I reached out. I don't remember ever touching him before accept when it
had been necessary. I don't remember touching anyone like that, as a matter
of fact. Something about him called to me, though, plucked away that hard,
Gundanium shell I'd developed as if it were rice paper. For the first
time in my life, my calloused hand cupped a cheek and it seemed the most
natural thing in the world.
Duo blinked at me, his breath catching. He wasn't a girl, he was a tough
young man who, I remembered, had grown up on the streets and trained with
Sweepers. He didn't melt. He didn't yield. He didn't fall into my arms.
He was wide eyed, though, as one of his hands fisted into my black, dress
coat as if he needed a life line. That's when he had taken me upstairs.
We hadn't even bothered admitting that were gay, it seemed a moot point.
He turned to me, then, in that quiet room far from the world, and I saw
a determination in his _expression, a decision made. It should have been
awkward, embarrassing, fraught with 'don't know what to do next', but,
instead, we came together all at once and ... I've never been struck by
lightning, but that must have been what it felt like as his lips devoured
mine. Something shocking, hot, and all encompassing coursed through my
entire body. I shuddered, reached out, and grabbed hold of his dress clothes
We clung to each other, lips searching, breath mingling, and made our
way to the bed. I sat down. He stood over me, lips still on mine as I
hesitantly began to undo the buttons on his shirt. He shrugged out of
his coat, let it fall heavily to the floor. His long braid hung down between
us, shivering with his heartbeat.
I peeled back his shirt and saw his long waist and his pink nipples. There
were scars, we both had them, but they were badges of honor and they spoke
to me of his bravery. They made him that much more attractive to me.
When Duo broke the kiss, panting, I wrapped my hands in his shirt and
pulled him forward. I wanted... I couldn't resist... I was rolling back
onto the bed, taking Duo with me so that he landed on top, lying between
my legs. I kicked off my shoes. So did he, and then he smiled down into
Duo gave a throaty laugh that was very masculine and very sensual and
then he was undoing my buttons. Our bodies sang to each other, wanting,
recognizing the other, insisting... it was hard to go slow, hard to keep
touches cautious and gentle. I didn't want to ruin the moment, didn't
want to turn this into sex and nothing more, because, as I looked up at
him, as I saw beneath the shield of his long bangs, I saw what I knew
was reflected in my eyes as well. This was so much more than sex, so much
more than anything we had ever experienced up until that moment.
"I've wanted this for so long..." Duo murmured as he opened my shirt and
bent to kiss my breast bone. "I thought.... The war... But now..."
Duo shivered, unable to express his roiling thoughts and emotions. I wrapped
arms around him and pulled him against me, smelled the scent of his hair
and felt the strength of his body against my own. I could crush him, snap
him in half, end his life in a thousand ways, but he held me powerless
with just the sound of his troubled breathing and the rapid beat of his
heart against my skin.
"The war... " I tried, "That was another life. We followed orders. Now...
It's just us. We can see clearly now."
"Yeah." Short and shaky, he kissed my breast again and then worked his
way to my nipple. He suckled it, made it throb and harden, and I closed
my eyes and just rode the sensation.
We lost our clothes, a piece at a time, rolling first one way and then
another as we explored each other, touched, kissed, and caressed. Our
hands were rough with callouses from Gundam controls and scars from our
violent lives, our bodies were hard muscle, unforgiving planes and angles,
and we were both surprising unsure and inexperienced. It struck me all
at once when I saw his hesitation and uncertainty and it made me laugh.
Duo looked at me, stung, but then he softened and said sheepishly, "If
you know how to do this, mind sharing?"
"Uncharted territory," I admitted and he laughed too.
"A couple of life of the parties," Duo joked, but then grew more serious."Guess
I was just waiting for the right guy."
"I was waiting for you," I breathed and then we were kissing again and
the heat in us both began to rise in earnest.
Duo slid down my body. I watched him nervously, having some idea of what
he intended, but not sure how it would feel and not sure if it was something
that he would enjoy doing. When his mouth closed around me and sucked
downward, I moaned and grabbed at him, hands tangling in his hair and
body curling around him. It was good; a moist, tight heat and a swirling
roughness of tongue. I almost came right then and there, but he pulled
away and contented himself with getting to know this part of me, that
was also a part of himself, with teasing fingers and a lapping tongue.
Duo was at the perfect angle. I dared to reach out, to take hold of him,
and to bring him into my own mouth. Soft skin over a hard shaft, my tongue
trailed along the length and felt pleasure when he writhed and moaned
in an echo of myself. He tasted... If the sight of him hadn't triggered
that deep down sense that we belonged together, his taste would have.
It slipped over my tongue and filled my senses. It spoke to genes, hormones,
brain cells, and my very soul and told them all, 'Here is the part of
you that you have been missing.'
My hands grabbed his hips, pulled him to me. I didn't grant him the mercy
he had given me. I sucked, taking in the taste of him and unable to get
enough. He gripped at me, said words that were drowned out by the heat
of my need, and then he came; salty, hot and drowning me. I choked, pulling
away, trying to get my breath back. Duo sprawled, panting, arms flung
wide now and gripping the blankets. He looked like a young god to me,
all perfection; everything that I had ever needed.
"That was..." Duo panted. "Fantastic... God, Heero..."
I sat, wiped at my mouth, smiled, and decided that my own body could wait.
This wasn't a one time affair. I didn't intend to let Duo go again, didn't
intend to let him walk out of my life with only the taste of him left
on my tongue.
Duo rolled and reached for his clothes. I regretfully reached for my shirt.
He batted my hand away. "Heero," Duo admonished. "You're not done already,
I raised an eyebrow, confused, but he reached into a pocket of his coat
and pulled out a small tube of lip balm. He looked down at it, turned
it over and over in his hands, and then blushed a very deep red. I wasn't
naive. I knew... some things. I had lived with soldiers and assassins
most of my life, after all. "We don't have to go that far. Not this time,"
I assured Duo.
Duo looked at me, startled, and then he smiled and it was so full of warmth
my heart ached as I reached and took his empty hand. "I don't want to
wake up and find out I just drank too much at the party," Duo told me,
"That none of this was real."
"It's real," I told him and pulled him to me, "and it's for the rest of
our lives, not just one night, if you want it..."
He opened his mouth, maybe to ask how I could be so quick to make such
a commitment, but then he closed it, because, I knew, he was feeling everything
that I was, and he wanted it too. He opened the gel and squeezed some
out onto his fingers. He tested it. "I think this will work," he whispered
tensely and then looked at me, worried, but trusting. "If... If you want
Giving or receiving, it didn't matter to me. I nodded, brought his hand
to my lips, and kissed it firmly. I let him choose, let him guide me as
I stretched out onto my back and waited. He looked me over, from head
to foot, and then his eyes lingered at my middle, measuring, thinking,
and then he reached out and spread the cool gel over me. He had made his
choice and, when he was done, I took the gel from him and spread it over
my own fingers. I pulled him forward until I could reach and then I hesitantly
touched his entrance..
Duo tensed at the cool feel and then he relaxed as it warmed, as I tried
to discover how to do this most important part of what we were about to
brave together. It was trial and error and not too much error on my part
before he opened to my fingers and I was able to slip them in a little
at a time. It was hard to tell if Duo was enjoying it or not. He had tensed
several times during my efforts and his face had taken on this ... screwed
up _expression of concentration and anticipation. Would it hurt? Would
it feel good? Would it be something we would both enjoy or something one
of us would have to endure?
"I think... now," Duo whispered and he started to leave me, intending
to lie on his back. I caught at his arms and held him on top of me.
"This way," I told him, almost sure, but not absolutely, that it might
be better if he could control our movements.
Duo nodded, fumbled, tried to find a comfortable position, and then settled
over my slick erection. I held it for him, wanting, with every primal
instinct within me, to grab his hips and bury myself deep. My love kept
me steady, kept me waiting, and kept me still as Duo lowered himself and
began pressing me into him.
We stopped, we started, and we almost gave up, but then something gave
and Duo hissed as I suddenly slid in, filling him. I grabbed at his arms,
squeezing tight, both of us frozen. "All right?" I asked.
Duo was silent, head lowered, and then he said in a very small voice,
"Just feels... too much... almost... but..." He moved his hips experimentally.
"Doesn't hurt...not really..."
My hands slid over his hips, squeezed, and kneaded; two handfuls that
I was buried up to the hilt between. My entire being seemed to settle
there, expectant, and I felt light headed, flushed with heat. When Duo
rose up and then settled down, I gasped as the motion stroked and sucked
at me. He looked into my face and his _expression lit up, became almost
feral. He rose up and settled again and I moaned, caressing his sides,
his back, and then settled a hand around his growing erection. He shivered,
rose up, settled again, and then he was rolling and taking me with him.
Disoriented, I found myself on top. I had almost slipped out, but he was
gripping me, trying to keep us together. I pushed and return to his tight
depths. He sighed and smiled.
We had to find the right position. He giggled at me as I tried to manage
his long legs and push a pillow under him. The giggle was so unlike him,
that I blinked stupidly at him. I realized it was just nerves and I found
a smirk for him as I bent him backwards and lifted his legs towards his
Balanced between his legs, buried deep inside, feeling the bunch and slide
of his muscles, I couldn't hold back any longer. I began thrusting, very
gently and very slowly. Duo's hands gripped my hips, guided me, made sure
that I didn't push too hard, but soon, he was lifting up to meet my thrusts
as he loosened inside even more and the need for friction became more
imperative. We were reduced to grunts, moans, and small voiced exclamations,
and then I came.
The orgasm was like an explosion. It shook me, thrummed through every
nerve in my body, and wrung a cry that was half strangled and echoed by
one of Duo's own. I clenched and shot my heated seed deep into Duo. I
spasmed, unloading every drop, and then collapsed on top of him, his legs
coming down and sprawling on either side of me. He cradled me, gripping
the back of my neck and twisting fingers into my hair as he held me tightly.
I realized that the wetness between us was his and that he had come as
well. I kissed the heated skin of his neck and we murmured reassurances
and words of love. Love..... I curled beside him after we had cleaned
up and crawled under the blankets, fully intending to spend the night
there and to hell with the Christmas party downstairs. Do you think that
we spent our time, before we fell asleep, talking about love and what
we had just done together? Instead, we ended up talking about apartments
and whose was large enough to hold two men, Duo's dog, and all of our
computer equipment. When our eyes had met, in the midst of Quatre's party,
we had known then, had already set the rest of our life together in motion.
There wasn't any question that it was forever.
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