Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning: Guys having sex with guys, maybe this time. Language. Graphic.
Violence. Bad, bad Heero... I mean, really bad... *sniffles* Poor Duo.
Lost Soldiers series #3
"I'm not going to help you,
if you don't help yourself," Quatre Winner said as he handed Duo a cup
of tea and settled in the posh chair opposite him. With an ornate, cheery
wood table and a tea service between them, doilies under scones, and the
flash of very expensive tableware, Duo felt very out of place.
Duo sipped at his tea and hated it. He wanted coffee, but he wasn't going
to make any demands when he was at such a disadvantage. "What are you
Quatre sipped at his tea and studied Duo over the rim. He put his cup
down and turned it around and around in his hands nervously. "Heero told
me you had been stealing, that you had been acting very unstable."
Duo scowled and shoved aside his tea. He started to get up. "I see, that
bastard already called and told you not to help me. Why doesn't he keep
"Duo!" Quatre barked.
Duo stopped speaking. It always surprised him when Quatre dropped his
innocent boy routine. The blonde Arabian was a shrewd business man and
a politician. He wasn't an innocent or a fool. He knew when he was being
played for a soft touch. Duo settled back into his chair and crossed his
arms over his chest sullenly.
"I'm not going to throw money at your problems," Quatre informed him sternly.
"That won't make them go away. You need therapy, Duo. I'll make appointments
with some fine doctors and they'll help you to adjust to society. With
some medication, and some positive mental therapies, you'll soon be able
to live a normal life."
Medication?" Duo stood up again, frowning darkly. "Yeah, fine, medicate
the problems away, medicate my stinking childhood away, medicate all the
people I killed in the war away, medicate away every freakin' Oz atrocity
and torture that I witnessed. Yeah, I'll be nice and normal then. I'll
go get a job flipping burgers or cut my hair and be a grease mechanic
for Sally Po."
"It's not like that," Quatre replied softly. "They'll help you with the
depression... isn't that what makes you do the crazy things you do, Duo?
You try to get rid of it any way you can... it won't let you live a normal
life with a normal job and responsibilities. It's too painful."
Duo slumped in his chair, staring down at the hands in his lap. "Yeah,"
he said in a small voice.
"Let me really help you," Quatre begged.
Duo nodded his assent, too tired, too hungry, too needy for Quatre's help
to refuse. It was becoming a habit, Duo thought darkly, thinking of Zechs.
What had happened to his pride?
"I don't get it." Duo shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the psychiatrist
slowly walked around him with a clipboard. Once in awhile the man lifted
the clipboard and scribbled a note. Duo wondered what he was writing.
Good or bad? He shivered and controlled it with an effort. It felt too
much like an Oz interrogation. Sterile room, two chairs, one plain desk,
and man who asked one question after another.
"Mr. Maxwell, " the man said in exasperation. "You have been through three
weeks of mental therapy. At the beginning of each session, I ask about
your medication. What is it that you ‘don't get'?"
"How you or the medication is helping me," Duo grumbled and slumped in
his chair, hands hanging between his legs. "I don't feel any better than
when I started."
The doctor was old and wearing a white lab coat. His white hair, short
clipped, and long nose, made him look unusual and very curious. He eyed
Duo intently as he explained, "These things take time, sometimes years.
You want instant results. That isn't going to happen."
"Years?" Duo shook his head. "No way am I doing this for years, man!"
The doctor scribbled something onto his clip board. "I take it, then,
that you HAVEN'T been taking your medication?"
"Is it supposed to make me agree to this crap?" Duo shot back.
Another scribble on the clipboard. Duo saw the word, ‘paranoia' briefly
before the doctor turned it away from him. Duo stood up. "That's it! I'm
gone. You don't know anything about me! You can't possibly cure me when
you don't even know what the problem is!"
The doctor was calm as Duo headed for the door. "I can sum up your problem
with a question, Mr. Maxwell."
Duo looked over his shoulder and paused, curious despite his anger. "A
"A simple question, Mr. Maxwell," the doctor affirmed and then struck
right to Duo's heart, stunning him. "What do you have to live for, Mr.
Maxwell? Until you can answer that question, you won't be cured. You will
continue this suicidal, destructive, immature behavior."
Duo frowned and a hand raised involuntarily to rub at his aching heart.
"I know the answer to your question already. It's ‘nothing'. I don't have
anything to live for. There's no point to life, so I intend to enjoy myself
"Until?" The doctor echoed. "Do you hear yourself, Mr. Maxwell? You are
quite obviously suicidal. If Mr. Winner had not given specific instructions
to the contrary, I would have had you committed immediately for observation.
You need help. You need therapy to help you find ‘the point' to life,
Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about me, doc. Shinigami doesn't
want to die."
The doctor was very serious. "Do you imagine that your destructive habits
are not a form of suicide? Mr. Maxwell, please, allow me to continue treating
you. I warn you, if you go now, I will have to inform Mr. Winner. He will
cut off your funds."
Duo grinned, a dangerous manic grin as he walked out the door. "Thought
so. It's all about the money. You don't want yourself cut of from the
Winner cash cow. You're like all the rest. You don't give a flying fuck
Duo walked to the nearest pay vid screen, dropped in his money, and dialed
Heero's number. He had told a white lie and it made him uncomfortable.
There was one man who cared, but Heero was dangerous. He didn't coddle
Duo with fine words and a diploma, he forced Duo to be normal with a soldier's
cruelty and a hard fists when he failed to perform. It always worked...
for awhile. It would do. It was bearable, Duo thought, until he found
Heero watched Duo out of the corner of his eye as the young man walked
across the living room to go into the kitchen. He was wearing a pair of
shorts and nothing else, drying his hair with a towel briskly, the wet
strands hanging all about him.
Like a wet , long haired, dog, Heero thought sourly, but his eyes were
zeroing in on Duo's erect, pink nipples and the very slim line of his
waist. Slightly damp still, the shorts clung to the small, rounded cheeks
of his ass. He looked almost feminine, Heero thought; relaxed, hair loose,
shapely legs sedately taking him out of Heero's sight.
Heero felt an erection. He moved his jeans uncomfortably and shifted in
his chair, computerized reports forgotten for the moment. His reaction
troubled him. He wasn't gay, but he took whatever opportunity presented
itself. Sexual frustration hampered his efficiency. Still, he didn't want
to be attracted to Duo. The young man was bad news and Heero had very
little self control where he was concerned. He had allowed Duo to return
to the apartment as long as he kept his job at a tile cutting factory,
but Heero knew it wouldn't last long. Duo would lose that job, mouth off
again, do something foolish, illegal, or just plain insane. Heero would
hurt him again, it was inevitable. The boy pushed every one of Heero's
buttons. It was almost as if he were asking for the punishment.
Heero hated those moments when he lost control. Common sense told him
to cut the young man loose, once and for all, and to forget about him.
Duo was a lost cause. He shouldn't be a party to the young man's self
destruction, yet, when Duo wasn't there to tease and torment him, Heero
felt somehow dead inside. Heero had girlfriends. He had a rewarding career.
He was on the fast track to being head of the Preventers when Sally Po
stepped down. Everything was going right for him. He shouldn't need a
baka from L2 to keep him company.... yet he did. He couldn't explain it
even to himself, but, he felt, it was the root cause of why he lost control
when Duo failed to meet his expectations. He wanted Duo around him. He
wanted Duo to be his friend. He didn't want Duo to make that impossible.
And now... Heero watched Duo come out of the kitchen with a sandwich and
a glass of milk. The boy settled, cross legged, on the couch and stared
at nothing while he ate. Heero found himself looking at the beautiful
line of Duo's slim waist again and felt temptation. Heero's erection grew
stronger. For the first time, Heero wanted something more than inane talk.
And why not? he reasoned with himself. He needed to finish his reports.
He needed to get rid of the need and its distraction. His girlfriends
were inconveniently elsewhere. Duo was gay. Why would he object? Heero
didn't think that he would.
Heero stood and walked over to Duo. Duo didn't notice, deep in thought,
mouth chewing automatically. His hair was all about him, still damp and
a long way from being dry. It clung to his thin body, covering all the
bone deep, black and blue bruises, the knitting ribs, and the scrapes
from being thrown to the floor. Yes, Heero thought, licking his lips,
it would be easy to pretend that Duo was a woman. He was very pretty in
the face with his huge eyes and smiling mouth.
Duo finally noticed. He looked up, blinking in confusion. "What's up,
Heero?" he asked.
"I wish to change our arrangement," Heero said.
Duo went pale and nervous, putting milk and sandwich on the coffee table
as if he were getting ready to run. "Uh, well, why? I still have my job.
I've been showing up on time. I gave you all of my first paycheck. What's
"I have to concentrate on my work, " Heero told him. "I find relationships
with women at this time to be time consuming and distracting. It is inefficient
when I only need simple relief, not their companionship."
"Okay...," Duo blinked again. "So you don't want to wine and dine a girl
just to get some. I can understand that. I guess Mr. Heero Yuy hand is
going to get some extra attention," he chuckled, finding the entire conversation
strange. Heero Yuy didn't talk about personal things, especially not about
his sex life. Duo couldn't help his next question, even though a primal
warning bell was going off in his head. "So, why tell me?" he smiled hopefully.
"Want me to take the girls off your hands?"
"That would be a mistake, since you don't have any interest in women,"
Heero replied, his eyes boring into Duo's.
Duo's eyes widened and he felt creeping shock and uneasiness. "What? Why
do you say that?"
Heero cocked his head sideways as if puzzled by Duo's denseness. "I have
never seen you with a woman. I have never heard you even speak of one
in a sexual manner."
"Uhm, I'm not that old, Heero. I guess I'm just a late bloomer." Duo started
to get up, but Heero's hand closed on his shoulder and held him there.
He looked at it and then back at Heero. "Okay, you wanna tell me what
you're thinking, Heero?"
"I wish to have sexual relations with you," Heero finally admitted. "You
will give me oral stimulation, or, if you prefer, I will enter you anally.
This will relieve my stress and allow me to continue working at peak performance.
I will, of course, allow you a reduced rent to compensate you-"
Duo slid out from under Heero's hand, wrenching his shoulder painfully.
His mouth was hanging open and he felt suddenly very afraid. "I- I'm not
Heero frowned. "My observations are not incorrect," he replied. "You have
shown homosexual tendencies towards me. I am proposing a situation where
you are allowed an outlet for your sexual urges and I am relieved of my
sexual stress and need for women."
Duo stammered and then he backed away. "You aren't going to pay me off
to suck your cock like some L2 whore, you freakin' pervert!"
"Are you a virgin?" Heero asked grimly. "That would explain your reticence.
I'll show you how it's done." He reached out and grabbed Duo hard by the
arms. Before Duo could resist, Heero was pinning him to the couch face
down and pulling down his shorts. "A few of the women I have had sexual
relations with were virgins as well. Once I entered them and demonstrated
what they were to do, they were agreeable to continuing the relationship."
"Get off me! Heero, I'm going to kill you! Get the hell off!" Duo screamed.
He was about to be raped. His mind ran in little circles of panic as he
tried unsuccessfully to throw Heero off of him, but injury and too many
missed meals had made him too weak. He wasn't any match for Heero's steel
Heero's hard hand opened Duo's ass cheeks and he spit there several times.
It felt warm and disgusting. Heero fondled him, squeezing flesh. "Very
much like a woman's buttocks," Heero said in a low, husky voice. "I will
not have any trouble imagining that they are."
"Don't do this!" Duo whimpered and then, feeling every fiber of his being
cringe, he offered, "I'll suck you off, man. I will. Come on! Let me do
that. I don't want to get raped by you, k?"
Heero grunted and suddenly Duo was being pulled up and his face was being
forced towards Heero's large erection. "Rape between two men is impossible,"
Heero stated. "but your offer is acceptable," Heero agreed.
Duo came face to slit with Heero's dripping, swollen member. He made a
plan in a split second of time and squirmed under Heero's grip. "Not the
hair, man. Let go of it. You don't have to force me, k? I'm gay, remember?
I've always wanted to suck your cock."
Heero grunted and let Duo go. He leaned back into the couch and spread
his legs a little, waiting, too confident in their long friendship, Duo's
passivity, and his own cold, facts. When Duo hit him with both fists clenched
together, full force, straight into his scrotum, Heero collapsed in agony.
Duo was up at once and slamming his foot into the side of Heero's head,
not once, but twice with a burning fury. Heero toppled unconscious to
the floor with barely time for a single cry.
"Fucker!" Duo screamed at him, shaking from head to foot. "You CAN rape
a man! You were gonna rape me! You fucking asshole!" Duo kicked him in
the crotch again. "I made it through my childhood on L2 without having
some ass wipe screw me, I'm not about to let Heero Fucking Yuy do it now!"
Duo saw Heero stir. Terror seized Duo, even though he knew that he had
the upper hand. Heero had always accomplished the impossible, a super
man, it didn't seem unlikely that he would recover from that kind of punishment
and either try to rape Duo again or resort to his usual tactics, beating
Duo to death. It was time to get out of there.
"Keep the damned rent money!" Duo shouted from his bedroom as he pulled
up his shorts and tossed some of what few possessions he had into a duffel
bag. He climbed into shirt and shoes, forgot his coat, and snagged his
sandwich on the way out of the front door. He ran into the night, ignoring
the cold and the rain. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew
he would never go crawling back to Heero again.