by Kracken
Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning: Guys having sex with guys, maybe this time. Language. Graphic. Violence. Bad, bad Heero... I mean, really bad... *sniffles* Poor Duo.

The Lost Soldiers series #3
Twisted Up

"I'm not going to help you, if you don't help yourself," Quatre Winner said as he handed Duo a cup of tea and settled in the posh chair opposite him. With an ornate, cheery wood table and a tea service between them, doilies under scones, and the flash of very expensive tableware, Duo felt very out of place.

Duo sipped at his tea and hated it. He wanted coffee, but he wasn't going to make any demands when he was at such a disadvantage. "What are you saying, Q-man?"

Quatre sipped at his tea and studied Duo over the rim. He put his cup down and turned it around and around in his hands nervously. "Heero told me you had been stealing, that you had been acting very unstable."

Duo scowled and shoved aside his tea. He started to get up. "I see, that bastard already called and told you not to help me. Why doesn't he keep his fucking-"

"Duo!" Quatre barked.

Duo stopped speaking. It always surprised him when Quatre dropped his innocent boy routine. The blonde Arabian was a shrewd business man and a politician. He wasn't an innocent or a fool. He knew when he was being played for a soft touch. Duo settled back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest sullenly.

"I'm not going to throw money at your problems," Quatre informed him sternly. "That won't make them go away. You need therapy, Duo. I'll make appointments with some fine doctors and they'll help you to adjust to society. With some medication, and some positive mental therapies, you'll soon be able to live a normal life."

Medication?" Duo stood up again, frowning darkly. "Yeah, fine, medicate the problems away, medicate my stinking childhood away, medicate all the people I killed in the war away, medicate away every freakin' Oz atrocity and torture that I witnessed. Yeah, I'll be nice and normal then. I'll go get a job flipping burgers or cut my hair and be a grease mechanic for Sally Po."

"It's not like that," Quatre replied softly. "They'll help you with the depression... isn't that what makes you do the crazy things you do, Duo? You try to get rid of it any way you can... it won't let you live a normal life with a normal job and responsibilities. It's too painful."

Duo slumped in his chair, staring down at the hands in his lap. "Yeah," he said in a small voice.

"Let me really help you," Quatre begged.

Duo nodded his assent, too tired, too hungry, too needy for Quatre's help to refuse. It was becoming a habit, Duo thought darkly, thinking of Zechs. What had happened to his pride?


"I don't get it." Duo shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the psychiatrist slowly walked around him with a clipboard. Once in awhile the man lifted the clipboard and scribbled a note. Duo wondered what he was writing. Good or bad? He shivered and controlled it with an effort. It felt too much like an Oz interrogation. Sterile room, two chairs, one plain desk, and man who asked one question after another.

"Mr. Maxwell, " the man said in exasperation. "You have been through three weeks of mental therapy. At the beginning of each session, I ask about your medication. What is it that you ‘don't get'?"

"How you or the medication is helping me," Duo grumbled and slumped in his chair, hands hanging between his legs. "I don't feel any better than when I started."

The doctor was old and wearing a white lab coat. His white hair, short clipped, and long nose, made him look unusual and very curious. He eyed Duo intently as he explained, "These things take time, sometimes years. You want instant results. That isn't going to happen."

"Years?" Duo shook his head. "No way am I doing this for years, man!"

The doctor scribbled something onto his clip board. "I take it, then, that you HAVEN'T been taking your medication?"

"Is it supposed to make me agree to this crap?" Duo shot back.

Another scribble on the clipboard. Duo saw the word, ‘paranoia' briefly before the doctor turned it away from him. Duo stood up. "That's it! I'm gone. You don't know anything about me! You can't possibly cure me when you don't even know what the problem is!"

The doctor was calm as Duo headed for the door. "I can sum up your problem with a question, Mr. Maxwell."

Duo looked over his shoulder and paused, curious despite his anger. "A question?"

"A simple question, Mr. Maxwell," the doctor affirmed and then struck right to Duo's heart, stunning him. "What do you have to live for, Mr. Maxwell? Until you can answer that question, you won't be cured. You will continue this suicidal, destructive, immature behavior."

Duo frowned and a hand raised involuntarily to rub at his aching heart. "I know the answer to your question already. It's ‘nothing'. I don't have anything to live for. There's no point to life, so I intend to enjoy myself until..."

"Until?" The doctor echoed. "Do you hear yourself, Mr. Maxwell? You are quite obviously suicidal. If Mr. Winner had not given specific instructions to the contrary, I would have had you committed immediately for observation. You need help. You need therapy to help you find ‘the point' to life, Mr. Maxwell."

Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about me, doc. Shinigami doesn't want to die."

The doctor was very serious. "Do you imagine that your destructive habits are not a form of suicide? Mr. Maxwell, please, allow me to continue treating you. I warn you, if you go now, I will have to inform Mr. Winner. He will cut off your funds."

Duo grinned, a dangerous manic grin as he walked out the door. "Thought so. It's all about the money. You don't want yourself cut of from the Winner cash cow. You're like all the rest. You don't give a flying fuck about me."

Duo walked to the nearest pay vid screen, dropped in his money, and dialed Heero's number. He had told a white lie and it made him uncomfortable. There was one man who cared, but Heero was dangerous. He didn't coddle Duo with fine words and a diploma, he forced Duo to be normal with a soldier's cruelty and a hard fists when he failed to perform. It always worked... for awhile. It would do. It was bearable, Duo thought, until he found something else.


Heero watched Duo out of the corner of his eye as the young man walked across the living room to go into the kitchen. He was wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else, drying his hair with a towel briskly, the wet strands hanging all about him.

Like a wet , long haired, dog, Heero thought sourly, but his eyes were zeroing in on Duo's erect, pink nipples and the very slim line of his waist. Slightly damp still, the shorts clung to the small, rounded cheeks of his ass. He looked almost feminine, Heero thought; relaxed, hair loose, shapely legs sedately taking him out of Heero's sight.

Heero felt an erection. He moved his jeans uncomfortably and shifted in his chair, computerized reports forgotten for the moment. His reaction troubled him. He wasn't gay, but he took whatever opportunity presented itself. Sexual frustration hampered his efficiency. Still, he didn't want to be attracted to Duo. The young man was bad news and Heero had very little self control where he was concerned. He had allowed Duo to return to the apartment as long as he kept his job at a tile cutting factory, but Heero knew it wouldn't last long. Duo would lose that job, mouth off again, do something foolish, illegal, or just plain insane. Heero would hurt him again, it was inevitable. The boy pushed every one of Heero's buttons. It was almost as if he were asking for the punishment.

Heero hated those moments when he lost control. Common sense told him to cut the young man loose, once and for all, and to forget about him. Duo was a lost cause. He shouldn't be a party to the young man's self destruction, yet, when Duo wasn't there to tease and torment him, Heero felt somehow dead inside. Heero had girlfriends. He had a rewarding career. He was on the fast track to being head of the Preventers when Sally Po stepped down. Everything was going right for him. He shouldn't need a baka from L2 to keep him company.... yet he did. He couldn't explain it even to himself, but, he felt, it was the root cause of why he lost control when Duo failed to meet his expectations. He wanted Duo around him. He wanted Duo to be his friend. He didn't want Duo to make that impossible.

And now... Heero watched Duo come out of the kitchen with a sandwich and a glass of milk. The boy settled, cross legged, on the couch and stared at nothing while he ate. Heero found himself looking at the beautiful line of Duo's slim waist again and felt temptation. Heero's erection grew stronger. For the first time, Heero wanted something more than inane talk. And why not? he reasoned with himself. He needed to finish his reports. He needed to get rid of the need and its distraction. His girlfriends were inconveniently elsewhere. Duo was gay. Why would he object? Heero didn't think that he would.

Heero stood and walked over to Duo. Duo didn't notice, deep in thought, mouth chewing automatically. His hair was all about him, still damp and a long way from being dry. It clung to his thin body, covering all the bone deep, black and blue bruises, the knitting ribs, and the scrapes from being thrown to the floor. Yes, Heero thought, licking his lips, it would be easy to pretend that Duo was a woman. He was very pretty in the face with his huge eyes and smiling mouth.

Duo finally noticed. He looked up, blinking in confusion. "What's up, Heero?" he asked.

"I wish to change our arrangement," Heero said.

Duo went pale and nervous, putting milk and sandwich on the coffee table as if he were getting ready to run. "Uh, well, why? I still have my job. I've been showing up on time. I gave you all of my first paycheck. What's to change?"

"I have to concentrate on my work, " Heero told him. "I find relationships with women at this time to be time consuming and distracting. It is inefficient when I only need simple relief, not their companionship."

"Okay...," Duo blinked again. "So you don't want to wine and dine a girl just to get some. I can understand that. I guess Mr. Heero Yuy hand is going to get some extra attention," he chuckled, finding the entire conversation strange. Heero Yuy didn't talk about personal things, especially not about his sex life. Duo couldn't help his next question, even though a primal warning bell was going off in his head. "So, why tell me?" he smiled hopefully. "Want me to take the girls off your hands?"

"That would be a mistake, since you don't have any interest in women," Heero replied, his eyes boring into Duo's.

Duo's eyes widened and he felt creeping shock and uneasiness. "What? Why do you say that?"

Heero cocked his head sideways as if puzzled by Duo's denseness. "I have never seen you with a woman. I have never heard you even speak of one in a sexual manner."

"Uhm, I'm not that old, Heero. I guess I'm just a late bloomer." Duo started to get up, but Heero's hand closed on his shoulder and held him there. He looked at it and then back at Heero. "Okay, you wanna tell me what you're thinking, Heero?"

"I wish to have sexual relations with you," Heero finally admitted. "You will give me oral stimulation, or, if you prefer, I will enter you anally. This will relieve my stress and allow me to continue working at peak performance. I will, of course, allow you a reduced rent to compensate you-"

Duo slid out from under Heero's hand, wrenching his shoulder painfully. His mouth was hanging open and he felt suddenly very afraid. "I- I'm not gay!"

Heero frowned. "My observations are not incorrect," he replied. "You have shown homosexual tendencies towards me. I am proposing a situation where you are allowed an outlet for your sexual urges and I am relieved of my sexual stress and need for women."

Duo stammered and then he backed away. "You aren't going to pay me off to suck your cock like some L2 whore, you freakin' pervert!"

"Are you a virgin?" Heero asked grimly. "That would explain your reticence. I'll show you how it's done." He reached out and grabbed Duo hard by the arms. Before Duo could resist, Heero was pinning him to the couch face down and pulling down his shorts. "A few of the women I have had sexual relations with were virgins as well. Once I entered them and demonstrated what they were to do, they were agreeable to continuing the relationship."

"Get off me! Heero, I'm going to kill you! Get the hell off!" Duo screamed. He was about to be raped. His mind ran in little circles of panic as he tried unsuccessfully to throw Heero off of him, but injury and too many missed meals had made him too weak. He wasn't any match for Heero's steel bending strength.

Heero's hard hand opened Duo's ass cheeks and he spit there several times. It felt warm and disgusting. Heero fondled him, squeezing flesh. "Very much like a woman's buttocks," Heero said in a low, husky voice. "I will not have any trouble imagining that they are."

"Don't do this!" Duo whimpered and then, feeling every fiber of his being cringe, he offered, "I'll suck you off, man. I will. Come on! Let me do that. I don't want to get raped by you, k?"

Heero grunted and suddenly Duo was being pulled up and his face was being forced towards Heero's large erection. "Rape between two men is impossible," Heero stated. "but your offer is acceptable," Heero agreed.

Duo came face to slit with Heero's dripping, swollen member. He made a plan in a split second of time and squirmed under Heero's grip. "Not the hair, man. Let go of it. You don't have to force me, k? I'm gay, remember? I've always wanted to suck your cock."

Heero grunted and let Duo go. He leaned back into the couch and spread his legs a little, waiting, too confident in their long friendship, Duo's passivity, and his own cold, facts. When Duo hit him with both fists clenched together, full force, straight into his scrotum, Heero collapsed in agony. Duo was up at once and slamming his foot into the side of Heero's head, not once, but twice with a burning fury. Heero toppled unconscious to the floor with barely time for a single cry.

"Fucker!" Duo screamed at him, shaking from head to foot. "You CAN rape a man! You were gonna rape me! You fucking asshole!" Duo kicked him in the crotch again. "I made it through my childhood on L2 without having some ass wipe screw me, I'm not about to let Heero Fucking Yuy do it now!"

Duo saw Heero stir. Terror seized Duo, even though he knew that he had the upper hand. Heero had always accomplished the impossible, a super man, it didn't seem unlikely that he would recover from that kind of punishment and either try to rape Duo again or resort to his usual tactics, beating Duo to death. It was time to get out of there.

"Keep the damned rent money!" Duo shouted from his bedroom as he pulled up his shorts and tossed some of what few possessions he had into a duffel bag. He climbed into shirt and shoes, forgot his coat, and snagged his sandwich on the way out of the front door. He ran into the night, ignoring the cold and the rain. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he would never go crawling back to Heero again.