Disclaimer: The GW boys aren't mine. *heavy sigh*
Warnings: 1x2, lemon-scented ^_^, silly, fluff
by Lady M

Backfired

Relena blinked.

Heero and Duo stood before her, awaiting the inevitable explosion of denial.

"So..." she said slowly. "Let me get this straight. You two," she said, pointing to each of them in turn, "are in love."

"Yes," Heero said.

"With... each other," Relena continued.

"Yes," said Duo, a bit uneasily. Relena was looking waaay too calm about this whole thing.

Relena looked sharply at Heero. "So, you're not in love with me."

"I never was," Heero replied simply.

Oh boy, thought Duo, suppressing the urge to flinch. Here it comes...

But Relena merely looked thoughtful. Then, her gaze hardening, she looked Heero in the eye. "I'll believe it when I see it," she said.

Heero shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said, turning to Duo. "You brought the lube, right?"

Duo boggled, first at Relena, then at Heero. "You have got to be kidding."

"You yourself said this would probably be the only way to convince her," Heero responded reasonably.

Duo spluttered. "Yeah, but... right here? Right now?"

"I told you," Relena said firmly, crossing her arms across her chest. "I won't believe it otherwise."

"But... on the floor?Couldn't we at least get a couch or something?"

"Duo..." Relena said warningly.

"We've done it on the floor before, Duo," Heero said calmly.

"Yeah, but not in front of a damn audience."

"What about that time when Quatre and Trowa -- "

"Okay, okay," Duo interrupted, his cheeks flushing. "I get the point. It's still not the same as doing it in front of... her."

"Fine," Relena huffed. "I'll just have to continue trying to convince you both that this supposed 'romance' you're having is nothing more than the sick product of your perverted imaginations, and that Heero would be much better off with me."

"Come on, Duo," said Heero. "It's just this once, and then we'll be rid of her, once and for all."

Duo glared over at Relena, then sighed heavily. "Fine, fine," he muttered, and began to strip, muttering under his breath about how romance was dead.

Heero stepped in at that point, and silenced Duo's mutterings with a passionate, tongue tangling kiss that left Duo gasping... and no longer complaining. He then proceeded to finished undressing Duo, with his teeth. Several buttons were irretrievably lost in the process. And, by the time Heero got Duo's pants off, and began to do interesting things with his mouth in that area, Duo was far beyond caring about whether or not Relena was in the room watching. A little while later, he was gratefully returning the favor to Heero. Including the sacrifice of buttons, among other things...

What happened next could only be described by better lemon writers than I. You'll just have to take my word that it was great, mind-blowing sex.

And Relena watched it all. Very, very carefully. Two beautiful, slender, muscled bishounen, both with incredible hair to boot, going at it like rabbits. Her keen blue eyes caught every caress, every thrust, every brush of bare skin against bare, burning skin; and her ears caught every breathy moan, every cry of passion, and every whispered "ai shiteru."

By the time Heero and Duo were through with their passionate bout of lovemaking, Relena's wide eyes had taken on a decidedly strange, glassy sheen. A thin line of saliva seeped from the corner of her mouth.

When Duo finally managed to gather his passion-fogged wits enough to look over at her, he found himself slightly... disturbed by the look on her face. "Heero," he whispered. "I... think she's in shock."

"We can only hope," was the taciturn reply.

But alas, their hope was in vain...

*

Wufei looked out the window of the safe house and cursed at the sight of a pink limousine pulling up the drive. Crazy onna. This was seventh time they had changed safe houses in the past three weeks, and she'd somehow managed to track them down yet again! How could she possibly be that persistent?!

Yet, even as she got out of the car, he could see the slightly glazed, maniacal gleam in her eye...

"Yuy, Maxwell," he growled.

The boys in question looked up from where they were snuggling on the living room couch.

Wufei sighed. "I hate to tell you this, but..."

Duo's eyes widened in horror. "No," he gasped. "Not again."

Wufei nodded grimly. "I'm afraid so."

Heero said some very impolite things about Relena's parentage, even as her piercing voice floated up to them from outside.

"Oh, boooooyyys," she called sweetly. "I'm still not convinced. Would you mind showing me one... more... time?"

Duo groaned into his hands. "Heero... we've created a monster."

"Hn."

*

OWARI

Argh... Don't hurt me. ^_^; Well, hey, this is what *I'd* do, if I were Relena... Lady M

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