Inbound Telemarketing (cont)


The phone rang.

Relena had called and left a message.

The phone rang.

A minor diplomatic crisis had come up in Eastern Europe. Some World Council member had opened his fat mouth and pissed off another representative and his people. They represented two groups that had been fighting each other for thousands of years over a few hectares of land. Their constituencies were protesting in the streets. Relena would be in Budapest for the next two weeks trying to stabilize the situation and make sure nothing happened in the aftermath.

The phone rang.

That was just as well as far as Heero was concerned. He had been hoping to find a way out of his date with her so he could make other plans. He'd finally decided how he wanted to answer Duo's message from yesterday.

The phone rang. The answering machine picked up. Heero had never figured out why Duo kept an answering machine when voice mail was only two credits a month. He waited for the inane sing-song message to play out. BEEEEP.

"Duo. Heero. I liked the Parrish exhibit. If you want to do another museum or something after the gym this week, that's--"

"Hello, Heero?"

"Duo? I thought you weren't home."

The screen lit up and Duo's face appeared. "Just got in the door. What were you saying?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to do something after the gym again this weekend. And Friday night there's a 'Dirty Pair' marathon at the university. I was wondering if you'd like to go."

There was silence. A very long silence. And a very worried look on Duo's face.


"Uh, Heero. Can we meet somewhere in a few minutes?"

"I'm busy packing."


"I'm moving later this week. I'm packing."

"Oh... Well... I don't know how to say this, but... Damn... I had the hots for you, Heero."

"Nani?" Had?

"Yeah. I guess I'm gay. It-- it didn't start that way... I like being your friend but then I realized I wanted you sexually too y'know you are one beautiful guy and it was getting to be too much to handle so I called this phone sex line and I've been talking to this operator there for the past almost week and today... well I realized toward the end of the call that I was using his name not yours and Heero I still want to be your friend but I know I don't have a chance with you I mean you and Relena are quite an item. And... Uh... ... ... That's it, I guess."

What the Hell? He went out with Relena maybe once or twice a month. That did not constitute "an item". And, damn it, he'd finally figured out that Duo was beautiful, and he was attracted to Duo and he could handle it as long as Duo didn't get really kinky on him, and he didn't think Duo would and... Damn him if he wasn't in love with Yuji. ... ... Well, he could handle that. "Duo, I--"

"Look, Heero. I can understand if you don't want to hang around with me now. I'd like to go to the gym with you still, maybe other stuff sometimes, but we're just gonna be friends, I know. I think I'm gonna ask Yuji out tomorrow."

Heero felt his jaw drop. "You barely know this guy. What if he's some homicidal maniac?" Well, he had been at one time. Suicidal too.

Duo shrugged. "That's why I'm gonna ask him out. I want to get to know him better."

Heero stared at Duo's image on the screen for a full minute. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm again. "I don't have a problem with you being attracted to me, Duo. I've had other guys hit on me." That was true, and not just on the phone. "And I like having you as a friend. My new apartment complex has a gym, but I'd still like to work out with you on Saturday. And if this Yuji guy isn't what you expect ..." And I know he isn't. "... or even if he is, we can still do something else after, if you'd like. You're still welcome to come to the 'Dirty Pair' marathon too. Hell, you can even bring Yuji." Yeah. That ought to be interesting.

"Thanks Heero. I'll see you at the gym." They watched each other for three heartbeats before Heero realized that the gym was all Duo was going to offer. Then Duo said, "I'm glad you don't think I'm weird or something. "

"You are weird, Duo. But not because you think I'm good looking." Heero smiled faintly. He had just come up with a better plan.


"So you dumped him? Baka! You've been after him for how long now and he practically throws himself at you and you dumped him?"

"I wouldn't say he threw himself at me, Yuji. And like I said before, I'd rather be his friend than mess it up with something he can't deal with."

"Sounds like he dealt with it well enough to me, koi."

"Yeah. But would he have done as well if I'd walked into his apartment and we'd started doing what we did yesterday? I just don't want to mess up what we have."

Heero stifled a chuckle. I'd do better than you know, Duo. You weren't the only one about to cream yourself yesterday. "So what are you going to do now?"

"Like I said. I'm going to ask you out."

"Nani?" Not that he hadn't been expecting it. Duo had told him as much last night. And two minutes earlier as he'd recounted last night. Even so, hearing the actual words made it different -- made it real.

"Let's go to dinner tonight."

"Uh, koi. I may fuck on the first phone call, but--"

"Yuji no baka! Don't you know me better than that? I want to meet you and find out what you're really like. And if things work out, maybe in a few weeks or something we can talk about doing more. I'm not into casual relationships, in case you haven't figured that out. Hell, you don't know that much about me either."

"I can't go tonight. And I'm busy tomorrow. I'm moving into a new apartment."

"Great for you. Bad for me. I guess the phone sex is paying well?"


"What about Friday?"

"It's always too damn busy out on Friday night." It was time to put the plan in action. "Hey, why don't you come over to my place Thursday evening. Bring dinner and we'll have a little apartment warming party."

Silence. "Oooookay..."

"I'll probably be in the bedroom resting after a long day of unpacking when you get there. I'll leave the key under the mat."

"Yuji, you're not going to try to seduce me, are you?"

"Koi," Heero said disingenuously. "You seem to be too well grounded to be seduced that easily. I promise I'll have clothes on."

"Okay." Duo sighed.

"Sugoi! I'm moving into a new place called River Garden Courts."

"That's my complex! I just moved there a couple of months ago when it opened."

That's part of why I chose it. "Good. You know it. I'm in number 3878. Think you can find it?"

"Yeah. I should be there about 18:30. What about dinner?"

"Anything you like is fine. Oh, your lunch is almost over."

"Damn! And I was looking forward to getting you in my ass."

"Believe me, I'm looking forward to the same thing both ways. Maybe Friday afternoon." Or maybe Thursday night.


It had been a long, hard day. The movers had shown up at 7:30 as he'd asked, and he'd been moving boxes and unpacking boxes and discarding boxes ever since. Getting his work desk organized had taken three hours. But, he was unpacked. It was 18:03, and he really was ready to lay down and rest for a few minutes. He adjusted the lights to half normal, flopped on his back on the bed and laid his arm across his face.

He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew, someone was opening the door to the bedroom. Old instincts kicked in and were quickly quelled. It was 18:28. It was probably Duo.


Yes, it was Duo. Heero heard him walk into the room.

"Yuji? God, you look so much like Heero."

He waited as Duo sat on the side of the bed. Then waited two minutes more until Duo's hand landed gently on his belly, warm enough to feel it through the tank top. A little damp too, Heero decided. Sweaty palms. "Damn it, Yuji. You dressed like him. I thought you weren't going to try to seduce me."

Heero moved his arm from his face and looked at Duo. "I always dress like this at home. You were supposed to say, 'I love you, Heero'."

Duo's eyes bulged. "Oh shit! Heero! What are you doing here? Where's Yuji?" Somehow, Duo's eyes got even wider as his brain processed what Heero had said. He yanked his hand away from Heero's belly. "Oh fuck. Damn you, Heero. What are you doing working a gay phone sex line? Is this some kind of sick joke? "

Heero grabbed the hand and forced it back to his belly. "No. This isn't a joke, baka. I thought you wanted this. Now, my back is a little sore from all the moving. A back rub would be really nice."

Duo stared at him, mouth hanging open. He eventually coaxed it to form words. "You're serious?"

"To be honest, I'd like a Hell of a lot more than a back rub. But I know you don't like to rush and I have no practical experience with what that 'Hell of a lot more' is, so going slow for now sounds good to me."

He saw Duo grinning. "Well, Hee-koi. We may move a little faster than on the phone."

Heero nodded, then reached under the pillow and pulled out a tube. "But you can start with the back rub, ne?"

Duo took the tube from him. Read it. "BenGay?" He laughed. "Hell yes. Turn over."


Heero woke with a faint headache. Damn, he thought, why was I drinking wine last night. Wine always made his head a little sore the next morning. Then he noticed the bed didn't feel right. He sat up and looked around. Whose apartment... Ah. Yesterday was Thursday. He'd moved into his new apartment. But what else had happened? This was why he rarely drank wine. A little too much and it messed up his brain's ability to move information from short-term memory to long-term memory.

What else was special about Thursday?

Oh. Shit! Duo had come over and... He dug deep. Yes. Duo had given him a real back rub. In the process Duo had told him about reading several books on erotic massage, but Heero couldn't remember much else except that it had felt sooo good. So good he'd had to take a quick shower afterwards because he'd literally creamed his Spandex.

Heero made a mental note to do laundry today.

He was pretty sure Duo had done that as a kind of revenge for the dinner after the museum. Or maybe for the teasing in the steam room. Or maybe some other temptation Heero had thrown his way. But, though it was mildly embarrassing when it happened, it had felt so fucking good, and Duo had seemed pleased that his reading had paid off. He remembered telling Duo... Yes. That was it. He'd told Duo he could give him a back rub any time.

Heero made another mental note to find the book on erotic massage that had come with his starter kit and read it. Turnabout was fair play.

He vaguely remembered coming out of the bathroom naked, hoping to surprise Duo, but Duo had gone to set out dinner. He was pretty sure he'd gotten dressed before walking out to the small dining room, and that was where everything disappeared into the haze of wine. What else had happened? He racked his brain, but couldn't find any more and it was... Damn! 08:45. He was on shift in fifteen minutes and wanted to get a shower and change and start the laundry.

He slid his legs out from under the sheet, sitting on the side of the bed, then stood, then sat back down. Oh. Shit. He was wearing a pair of Duo's boxers... and they were on backwards. What had happened last night? He stood and reached to pull the sheets off the bed for the laundry... and saw the other side of the bed was unmade. Oh. Fuck. He looked and, sure enough, there were long red-brown hairs on the pillow. They'd slept together. And he didn't remember a bit of it. It wasn't so much the sleeping together part that bothered him, it was not remembering his first time. Fucking shit!

He sighed. Well, it was too late now. And it was 08:50 and he needed to get the laundry set up. He pulled the sheets off the bed, piled his dirty clothes with them, quickly pulled on a clean pair of boxer-briefs and a tank-top... 08:55. Damn! The laundry would have to wait. He hurried to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of slices of toast and some cereal, spying the empty wine bottle on the table as he ate, then ran back to his room and the desk, grabbed the palm computer and his headset and punched up the business line ten seconds before 09:00.

He was still adjusting his headset when the first call came. A young gay guy wanting a quick, fifteen minute phone fuck. He recited the script and merged it with a couple of others, dragging the call out for a full forty-five minutes. He didn't feel guilty, though. The guy came twice. He got his money's worth. And Heero got clean sheets on the bed while doing it and the laundry moved to the washing machine.

Before he could put the laundry into the machine -- he didn't want to do that with the caller on the line, didn't want the guy to know he wasn't getting his full attention -- the phone rang again. "Mr. Derrick," the headset whispered. Damn. He must be off today or something. Heero pulled out his materials for the more violent of his two pedophiles and answered the phone.


At 12:22, the phone rang. "Koi ... Duo," the headset whispered. Oh shit. Well, here goes nothing. He punched the receive button. "Hello, koi."

"Do you mean that?"

"Hai. I mean that, Duo." He realized he'd been waiting, wondering if Duo would call, and was relieved he had.


"I had a great time last night."

"Really?" For some reason, Duo sounded a bit skeptical.

"Yes. The backrub was... well, you know. But after, when we went to bed and we--"

"We what? Heero, you were out of it when I put you to bed. It was after midnight and I didn't feel like traipsing two miles across the complex to my apartment, so I stayed, but nothing happened."

"Oh." So, maybe he hadn't missed his first time. For some reason, that didn't feel as good as he thought it should.

"You don't remember any of it, do you?"

"Sorry. Too much wine does that to me." Then he remembered. "Wait a minute. If nothing happened, then how the Hell did I end up in your boxers."

Duo chuckled. "I wondered when you'd ask about that. You were out of it, but not unconscious. I guess too much wine does that to you too?"


"Anyway, when you saw me getting into bed, you wanted to know what boxers felt like and insisted I put a pair on you. I only had one pair." Heero heard the shrug in the brief pause. "I prefer to sleep naked anyway. ... You don't mind that I'm wearing a pair of your boxer briefs right now, do you? The ones I bought you for Christmas last year with the little angels and devils all over them. They're not as uncomfortable as I thought they'd be."

"Baka." It didn't make sense, but it made him feel better to say it.

"You're the baka. Trying to con me into believing you remembered what happened last night."

"So, do you want me to pick up where we left off on Wednesday?"

"Hell no. At least, not right now. I don't have time. I called for two reasons. First, I want to know if you want to go to the 'Dirty Pair' marathon tonight."

Heero smiled to himself. "Hell yes. But no wine for me tonight."

"Of course not. I want you to remember tonight."


"I'll pick you up at 18:30." Damn. Why did Duo want him to remember tonight? "Second reason. I found you a new job -- working with computers."

"Duo, the last two computer jobs I had I got in trouble for hacking their security."

"Ahhhh. But that's exactly why the Preventers want to hire you. We call it DIG for 'Digital Intelligence Gathering'. I spoke to Commander Killian. He says if you're half as good as I said you are you'll have no problem getting into the program. And you know I never lie, so you're in."

"Thanks, Duo."

"Not a problem. If we're going out together--"

"I hope we do a Hell of a lot more than that." And soon, damn it. "Go slow" could go to Hell. He wondered if this was how Duo had felt wanting him. If so, he felt truly sorry for him and was going to do his best to make up for it as soon as possible.

"-- I don't want my Hee-koi on the phone with a bunch of perverts."

"Aa. Like you, koi?"

Duo snickered. "Especially not perverts like me. You thought that back rub last night was hot. Heh. Wait until tonight."

"What about tonight?"

"Oops. Gotta go. Lunch is over." Click.

"Damn you, Duo," Heero muttered to the empty line. The bastard baka had planned that.

The phone rang.


At 17:45, his palm computer bleeped an urgent email. He finished his call with Tanaka-sama and punched out of the operator pool at 17:58 -- two minutes early. Fuck 'em. He had another job waiting and a soon-to-be lover on the way.

The email was from Duo. "One problem with this new job. You won't be able to afford your steam machine. No problem. I'll move in and we'll split the rent. Oh. Damn. You only have one bed, and I prefer to sleep naked. I guess I'll just have to keep a few rubbers handy in case you can't control yourself."

Heero tapped the pad and dialed Duo's apartment, waited for the answering machine to pick up, said, "I'll help you pack tomorrow afternoon, koi. Now get your ass over here," and hung up. Tomorrow afternoon should give them plenty of time for other things tonight. He'd changed his mind about the 'Dirty Pair' marathon. They would be staying in tonight if he had anything to say about it.

Which reminded him of something Duo had said on Wednesday. Heero pulled open the toy drawer. He was sure he'd seen a bottle of Astroglide in there somewhere. He sorted through everything, finally finding it buried at the bottom with... He pulled out a strip of foil squares, counted off seven, then seven more, decided Duo might be a little lustier than his own "high-average" and added two more for safety.

He had just torn the sixteen condoms off the strip of fifty when the doorbell rang. 18:20. He ran to the door and peered through the peephole. Duo was early. That was okay. He was almost ready. He pulled of his tank-top and boxer-briefs and tossed them on the couch, draped the strip of condoms over his shoulder like a sash... then opened the door, grabbed Duo, yanked him into the apartment, closed the door, locked it, and pinned Duo against it with his body. "Hello, koi. Fuck the 'Dirty Pair' marathon." Heero waved the bottle of Astroglide at him.

Duo pushed him away gently, looked at him for a full two minutes, carefully surveying every inch of his naked body, and counting the condoms, twice. "Shit, Heero. Do you think you have enough?" he asked, pointing.

Heero frowned, concerned and just a bit confused. "Do we need more? I have more in the toy drawer."

Duo shivered. "Damn! How horny are you?"

"About average." Now Heero was really confused. "Maybe a little more."

"Heero, five or six is usually plenty."

"Aa. But I added one extra for me and then for you I--"

"Hee-koi, five or six is usually plenty for both... Oh. Fuck." Duo grinned, then laughed. "Y'know what you see in porn flicks and read in those magazines is way beyond what most people call 'average'."
"You mean that isn't real?" Heero looked upset as Duo shook his head. "Oh. I--"

Duo took the half step that put them against each other again and laid a hand on Heero's hip, sliding it around to gently squeeze his ass. "I have an idea. Instead of fucking the 'Dirty Pair' marathon, why don't you fuck me and we'll see just how 'average' you aren't?" Duo grabbed the bottle of Astroglide from Heero and opened it, spreading a few drops on his fingers.

"But... I... You-- AAAH!"

Duo poured on his innocent look. "What was that?" He caressed Heero again, drawing a "NnnnAAAH!", feeling Heero growing hard in his hand, relieved to discover Heero wasn't as above average in that department as he claimed to be in endurance.

"Hell yes," Heero muttered, grabbing him and pulling him toward the bedroom.

"Sugoi! And what's this toy drawer you mentioned?"


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