if anyone remembers
Night On Peacemillion and had any interest in the aftermath...this is
the sequel. enjoy. or whatever.
By: Lyssira Miokii
Disclaimer: -_- I just found out the worst news.....THEY'RE NOT MINE!!!!
::breaks down into hysterical sobbing:: I don't own them. They belong
to big corporate companies like bandai and sunrise. ::sniffles:: not lil
ol me who can't even afford a tissue. so don't sue...::hiccups:: *o*
Warnings: Yaoi. Implied Citrus. Angst. Some Sap. Maybe OOC, I hope not.
(waaa...I warped duo)
Pairings: 1x2/2x1 Aww...that makes me feel all better. ^_^
Note: The first sequel I've ever written. Usually I don't bother. Hopefully
it will do the original justice. Probably not, but hey! ^_^ I'd like to
thank everyone who sent supportive feedback for this!! Everyone. Poe,
Artemis, D-babe and everyone else part of Neko's family, thank you too
for helping me when i got stuck. You guys are the best! To Kojin-chan
who's always willing to listen to me whine and pitch my ideas to her.
And thanx to my Evil Older Sister who really isn't that mean and was nice
to enough to help me out. ^_^
Dawn on Peacemillion
His first impressions
were of warmth, comfort....protection. Someone, somewhere was keeping
him safe from all the woes in the world. Someone cared. Then came other
feelings, skin on skin, arms wrapped around his waist, intertwined with
his hair which had come undone in the night. The world was still in a
haze, but he didn't want to open his eyes. He could feel another person
shifting next to him, the same being who sheltered him now. But who? And
why? No person had ever made him feel like this after...after the church
massacre. Sister Helen was dead. So who dared to touch him now? Curiosity
was a natural born instinct in Duo Maxwell, as was suspicion. He liked
this feeling, but it felt strange, foreign. This was not a common occurrence,
nor should it have been. They were in the middle of a war....Who cared
about one soldier, a rebel? Who? He could not remember anything from the
night before not at the moment. A veil rested over his mind, blocking
those memories out, another shelter, a new place to hide. He didn't want
to open his eyes now. The truth would probably be painful. Yet, he had
to, because he was that terrorist, that soldier, that rebel. Those instincts
would never be suppressed for long. Cautiously, he cracked open one violet
The world came crashing down upon his braided head once more and all thought
process screeched to an abrupt halt. Sprawled next to him, tangled in
the same blanket, on the same couch, in the same lounge on Peacemillion,
Heero-set-my-own-leg-I-don't-need-anyone-but-myself-Yuy. Unruly dark brown
hair obscured one blue eye, full perfect lips were slightly parted, head
resting next to Duo's. Though a blanket had been gently spread over both
of him, a good part of the Perfect Soldier's chest remained exposed, giving
the Deathscythe pilot a view of bronze, sculpted muscle. Under the flimsy
woolen quilt, which was actually more of a sheet, Duo thankfully noted,
due to the scratch of fabric, both of them were wearing boxers. *Some*
rational thought had occurred the night before. Both strong arms looped
around Duo's waist pulling him close, revealing the source of warmth and
protection. It was...him. Eyes now nearly bugging out of his head, mouth
slack jawed and gaping, the events of the previous night slowly returned
to Duo. Him and Heero.
Heero and him.
We....oh my god...I...oh my god...he....OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
The Deathscythe pilot paled considerably, stark white, then began turning
dark shades of red. He didn't dare move, for fear of waking up the slumbering
boy beside him. Taking two large gulps of air in order to calm himself,
Duo studied his comrade-now...lover?-carefully. Heero looked a great deal
more peaceful that moment, more relaxed than Duo had ever seen him before.
Somehow, there was something innocent about him when he slept, something
that faintly reminded him of a child who thought himself to be safe. The
idea sent a kick into Duo's stomach, banishing his initial reaction to
what they'd done, one of disgust and fear.
He trusts me. He could have left after we...after we...after that.
But he didn't. He believes I won't hurt him, that I wouldn't betray him.
He always said he'd rely on himself. But he trusts me... Ice filled
him, chilling his bones. He reach out one tentative hand to touch the
perfect creature lying next to him, in awe, trying to decide if it was
real or not. This slight movement caused Heero to stir, the beginnings
of the usual glare forming on his brow. Duo yanked the hand back, now
staring in fear as Prussian blue eyes met his violet. Forever, he fell
into those eyes, never to be caught or rescued. Just falling....
Heero reached out with one lean hand to touch his cheek, tips of his fingers
barely brushing Duo's face-
Sharply, the braided boy jerked away from the touch, away from Heero,
hardly thinking with a mind numbed by shock, panic and most of all, fear.
He almost didn't register the hurt the washed across the others features,
pain written clearly there...Then, the Wing pilot blinked and that look
disappeared. But not before the reality of what Duo had just done came
tumbling back to him.
I pushed him away...I am...pushing him away... the thoughts came
dull, emotionless in his mind, like a robot programmed to play those sentences
over and over. Shaking his head, Duo yanked away further, desperate to
put more space between himself and Heero. Between himself and...what he'd
done. Frantically, he snatched his black priest outfit from the floor,
where it had been thrown carelessly the night before. Next to it, was
a familar tanktop and a pair of spandex shorts....Duo's heart wrenched.
Pulling on the layers, he shot almost wild, wary glances around the room
for anyone who might be witnessing this display. His shoulders drooped
visibly with relief when he found the others still rested peacefully in
their places from the night before. Wufei stretched out on the floor,
Quatre and Trowa in the bunk at the wall. None had stirred all night,
not even awakened when they'd...
Duo shook his head again, almost violently denying that had ever happened.
He felt eyes burning holes into his back, the same eyes that had looked
at him that way only hours ago, how he'd looked...Duo finished
dragging on his boots, carefully threading up the laces, sure to take
his time. The longer he waited for confrontation, the easier it would
be, especially when he could force those images out of his mind. His memory,
clear and concise as it was, cruelly flung scenes back at him, more than
he'd ever wished to remember, many things he wouldn't ever want to know.
About himself. About Heero. Duo choked on the tightening feeling in his
throat, trying to rid himself of the feeling. The result was a strangled
noise, like a wounded animal, but also suspiciously resembling a sob.
Dammit!!! One of the few friends in this world, the one person who
know you can rely on, Maxwell, and what do you do? Sleep with him!!! Bravo.
Well done. Ingenious... he cursed himself further, totally agreeing
with the bitter voice in his mind. Unbidden, rough humorless laughter
spilled from his lips, unlike the tears that would never leave his eyes.
Now fully dressed, Duo turned dull violet eyes on his partner who had
not yet moved from his sitting position on the edge of the overstuffed
sofa. His eyes, fierce as always, reflected nothing of the true
person inside, more like shields than windows for his soul. Neither said
anything for what seemed an eternity, lightening practically crackling
around the pair. Guilt flooded Duo's senses for a moment, seeing Heero
like this, with that emotion direct towards him. He'd hurt him...betrayed
his trust...inadvertently ruined what he'd worked hard to build between
them. Comradery. Friendship. It was gone.
"Heero...."he began meekly, barely meeting that blazing, undying
"Do what you want," the Wing Zero pilots interupted coldly,
turning his back on him, so he too could dress.
"But Heero! Just listen to me..." the braided pilot pleaded.
"You've said all you needed to," Heero replied stonily, "Without
saying a word."
"I didn't...I don't..."he choked out. Where were the words he
needed to say? What happened to a fairly well educated mind in times like
"I told you, Maxwell, do you what you want," the other growled
in his low monotone, before turning to leave completely. Tears stung harder
in Duo's eyes, like so many needles stabbing at once but he ignored them,
temper growing hot from frustration.
He won't even let me speak to him!
"Fine! But stay away from me Heero! Don't come near me ever again,
you hear? EVER!" Duo snarled, more harshly than he meant to. But
he refused to take those words back. Heero had left him with no choice.
Nothing could be salvaged of their partnership. There wouldn't be any
apologies. The blue eyed boy glanced back, once, no trace of emotion,
not even tensing in the muscles of his back.
"As you wish," he said. And disappeared, leaving Duo standing
in the center of the room, alone, though surrounded by his slumbering
allies. He was unaware of one onyx eye watching them from the cover of
sheets and pillows, the entire exchange recorded into a steel-trap mind.
Heero's first reaction, as was his response to most things, was to submerge
himself in work. There were always repairs to be made on Wing Zero and
upgrades, battles data, mission reports...his load of duties never eased,
had barely lightened despite many days full of free time. So now, pushing
every conscious thought of pilot 02 out of his mind, the Japanese boy
set to work, bent on finishing his job today. There was still a war going
on, his feelings could be buried again for that. Peace had to be achieved.
The colonies must be defended. One hurting soldier was of no consequence.
Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.
For the first time since the war began, since he'd been trained by Doctor
G, since his clouded, twisted childhood, Duo Maxwell was at a loss. For
words, for action. Until that morning, exactly 6:07 AM, he'd known his
every move. There had always been some route to take. Now there was none.
He stood in middle of one of Howard's well furnished lounges, complete
with three couches and a secluded bunk on one side, feeling emotions rage
through his body, each one followed by another. At one point the braided
pilot of Deathscythe knew he sat down, perched precariously on the arm
of one chair, but he could neither say why or when. Next he began straightening
those crowded quarters, leaving no trace of what had occurred the night
before behind. The blankets were discarded in a hamper, along with some
of his clothes from the previous day, just to make it look ordinary.
Neither Trowa nor Quatre had so much as stirred, but Wufei was starting
to look semi-awake and Duo thoughtfully left a pot of coffee on the tiny
stove they'd been given. Now without action again, he took off for the
halls of Peacemillion, not sure of where else he could go.
His gundam, his one true ally, waited in the hanger for minor corrections
but he dared not enter the hanger. He did not trust his concentration
with a certain spandex-clad pilot working so nearby in the next gundam
over. The dull gray walls of the large salvage ship welcomed him silently,
giving him in empty void in which his thoughts could make their presence
known. Fortunately for him, the corridors were rarely crowded, people
always one place or another, never in between. There were no worried faces,
people who try to help him solve his problems before he could even discover
them for himself.
What is my problem? What's the matter with me? Duo wondered, now
a great deal more level headed before. If only he'd been able to approach
the Wing pilot with this sort of calm. There might have been a future
for them, then.
But what kind of future do I want? And why the hell was it him? Why
not Quatre? Or Trowa? Or Wufei, even? Why one of the others at all? Why
a man? he began to pace the length of the hall, not caring how far
he went, how deep into the bowells of the ship this journey took him.
Duo Maxwell didn't give up on a battle this easily. He wanted answers.
And he would fight for them.
Does this mean....? I'm....I'm attracted to other guys....Never before...but...am
I? violet eyes widened to nearly twice their typical size. To completely
honest with himself, he'd never considered the idea before.
Shit! I've barely done anything with women! There isn't time for this,
there was never for time for considering what I found attractive. Dammit!
We're in the middle of a war...None of us know anything about the real
world...about -liking- another person...Most guys my age, I know. They've
had hundreds of girlfriends already. Or guyfriends..I suppose. But I never
have...I never thought I'd live to be able to do things like that...And
I've taken this huge step....With Heero Yuy. Duo continued his erratic
flight from the scene, never truly escaping what they'd done together
but traveling further nonetheless.
Speaking of that.....What the hell possessed -him- to sleep with me?
I mean, I do consider myself good looking, the pilot paused tirade
a moment to give himself a glance out one window. His reflection winked
back at him, cheeky grin in place out of habit more than necessity.
But Heero doesn't go for every pretty face...just Relena's. Maybe I
was just an outlet cause he can't have Relena.....but why would he act
like -I- hurt -him-? I don't think that was guilt...Heero's more open
than he thinks. Poor dude's so sure no one can get past his defenses......I
guess I wish I hadn't.
That still doesn't answer my question. Heero had no reason....I had
no reason. Since I don't really believe in that stuff anymore...I can
hardly say we were possessed. All I did was push him with a couple questions....I've
done that before. It's the only way to get a straight answer out of that
guy! Then that kiss....Neither of us knew where to stop.... By that
time, Duo had discovered he was thirsty and, never one to neglect his
body's needs or mistreat himself, the braided boy stopped into one room
to grab himself some water. Inside, Noin was watching a recording of one
of Zech's speeches. the purple haired woman sighed at the screen, conflict
visible in her own face. Quickly, he grabbed a bottle out of the fridge,
trying not to disturb. Part of him wished he could help her, if only to
forget his own problems for a while. But most of him said to his mind
his own business.
People don't want heroes. Not the colonies. Not earth. Not me, either.
Only people like Relena, those people who are -supposed- to change things,
want a knight in shining armor. That's just the way it is..
"Duo....." a sober voice came from the couch, causing him to
turn easily on one heel. He gave no signs of his inner distress, though
still caught in chaos because of his own actions.
"Heyla, Miss Noin!" he saluted cheerfully, feeling not at all
uneasy despite his lack of interaction with this woman. He had a habit
of accepting his allies. Besides, Quatre trusted her. And if anything,
Duo belived in the blonde boy's infallible judgement of others. He'd known
the Gundam pilots were meant to work together, hadn't he?
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure! And you can depend on me to answer too!" he quipped,
crossing his arms, mocking the more silent of his companions. Noin offered
him a small smile in return, a crack in her gloomy expression.
Zechs really hurt her...he did. Damn him...but I'm no better. Duo
reached one hand up to rub his chest, trying to dispel the knot of guilt
that had begun to form there.
"Why did you keep fighting? What did you believe in when the colonies
betrayed you pilots?" she whispered, as if not trusting to her voice
to remain steady.
He smiled sadly, one of the few genuine expressions on his face. He looked
less boyish then, old for his years, aged by hardship and surviving. "Heero
would say he kept fighting because he believed in himself. That he would
continue fighting no matter what," Duo's smile twisted a bit at the
mention of that name, but remained firm, "I guess I'm not that simple.
The thing is, people don't always see the danger...in themselves or in
others. Sometimes they need another person to save them. The colonies
still needed us, even if they didn't know it. And we're going to give
them their freedom whether they want it or not. Everyone needs that once
in a while, I think."
God knows I do.
Noin's eyes lit, seeing what he meant. Zechs...Milliardo needed someone
to show him what he was doing was wrong. She could do that. Or she could
die trying. She gave the young pilot a nod, thanking him and dismissing
him all at once. With a flash of his usual grin and one long chestnut
braid, Duo disappeared. Funny how people appeared right when you needed
them, in this war.
Once again on his own in the halls, taking generous gulps of water to
relieve his parched throat, Maxwell resumed his thinking, working at the
morning's events like so many complicate pieces of a confusing puzzle.
I know I like Heero, as flawed and mean as he can be...The guy's my
friend. I tried to get to know him as much as I could when we were together.
But do I like him, that way? And, if I survive this coming disaster, is
it just Heero I'm drawn to? Or all men? Am I gay? Or is it just him?
A idea struck him suddenly, like an abrupt bolt of lightening from the
heavens, from the stars.
I care about what happens to him...I care about Heero! I don't know
what I am...There's no time to find out. It's not like I'm gonna screw
with everyone aboard this damn ship! Maybe I can figure it out later..Right
now I need to....know why I did what I did. If I do care about that bastard
why did I push him away? What am I afraid of? Gray, padded walls turned
to steal plating and nuts bolts, announcing to Duo that he'd walked about
half away through Peacemillion, now going through the engine room, where
heat rolled off the very core in huge, voluminous waves. Sweat clung to
the preist outfit, moisture darkening the color to something deeper than
I've walked half around this bloody piece of metal I have no answers.
Only that Noin certainly has it bad for our arch-enemy....And that tells
me nothing about what I need to know! he dragged the back one hand
across his forehead, wiping away the sweat that threatened to sting his
I care about him....I know that. He's someone I've always been able
to depend on. And...goddamn! I don't even remember when -he- became so
important. Heero do you have that effect on everyone or just me and the
pacifist-nation's poster child? I hurt him though, she hasn't. Relena
would never hurt anyone...not a fly. But I suppose that's why they call
it -absolute- pacifism...oy! I hurt him `cause I was scared.....But of
what? What's scary about Heero besides the weird maniacal cackling and
his unhuman fighting abilities, well that and the way he self-destructs
at the drop of a dime or there was the time he pointed a gun at me.....
Duo smothered a laugh at himself. This wasn't going anywhere, though his
walk continued forward. He'd left the engine room, the oppressive humidity
now behind him.
Lets face it, Maxwell, you're psycho. None of that really scared you.
You've done some of those things yourself. Wasn't it you, ya baka, who
shot him twice when you first met him? He scared me cause....cause he
got close. And this morning, waking up, feeling like I was safe....
the idea brought more images back to him. A little catholic church on
a poor street in poor colony. A blonde boy, face dirty from the constant
Heero...shit...did you have any idea what you did? Any clue? Why couldn't
you have left it alone...You got under Quatre's skin. Under Trowa's. Heck,
you got to Wufei! Couldn't you have left it that? They all believe in
you! Why do I have to, as well? Yet, strangely, the mourning feeling
he'd carried with him for so long, some of the emptiness they'd left behind
didn't feel hollow anymore. Not so empty now....
Coffee brown hair, tousled and unruly, disappeared once more beneath the
hatch of Wing Zero back into the wires and circuitry of the white gundam.
Quatre eyed the Perfect Soldier worriedly, not sure what to make of the
almost robotic dedication Heero'd taken to his work. The Japanese boy
had always been totally devoted to their cause, but he didn't work for
hours without rest before. Even Heero had been known to take a water-break
now and then. And Duo hadn't been in all day. The only sign of his passing
had been the coffee waiting for them when they awoke. Heero hated coffee,
wouldn't go near the stuff, so it must have been Duo....that was the only
reason he wasn't waiting for ransoms on the braided boy right now. Yanking
Wufei to one side, despite the scathing look the Chinese boy flashed at
him, Quatre faced the Shenlong pilot with openly concerned aqua eyes.
"Wufei...."he began, his higher, more expressive voice striking
a note in Trowa, nearby.
"I'll look for him," the other grumbled, heading away from his
Nataku where he'd been tormenting mechanics all day. One of those men
sent Quatre a relieved wave, getting a small smile in return. A twinge
in the slight Arabian's chest destroyed most of his good cheer. What was
[part 2] [back to Lyssira's