Why Gundam Pilots Should Not Go to the Movies
By: Lyssira
Disclaimer: I own only my insanity.
Warnings: ummm....Probably shouldn't drink anything while reading
Pairings: 1+2 & 3+4 of course!
Note: Don't ask...simple equation Lyssira+phone+Kojin+Coke = chaos
Okay, here's Lyssira's challenge. Ummm...never done this before. But I challange anyone to take one or more of these scenarios and turn it into a fic.

Why Gundam Pilots Should Not Go to the Movies

Our boys (and the other characters of GW)...in movies theaters...probably not a good idea. Why? I'm sooo glad you asked!

1.The Parking Lot

*Can you imagine trying to find a space for the Gundams? They're not exactly congruent with the typical mini-van.


     Quatre: No Gundam sized spaces?

     Duo: I thought they accustomed to everyone's needs!

     Wufei: Injustice!

*Walking distance

     Quatre: Ummm...Does the Zero system count as a handicapp?

     Heero: I don't think so, why?

     Quatre: Damn.

*Since aforementioned space can not be found, it is most likely a certain spandex-clad bishie is headed for self-detonation. This should be avoided at all costs.

*Relena's limo would definitely traumatize the general population. Especially those going to see things like Stars Wars and Planet of the Apes. Not to mention she could permanently damage any small children headed for the Pokemon Movie.

*Dorothy and parallel parking. I shall say no more.

2.Deciding the Movie


*Five teenage boys from five different cultures...how would you choose? Wufei would want martial arts, Duo wants the American comedy, Quatre wants Love Story, Trowa wants Quatre in the Love Story cinaplex and Heero wants...er...Duo in the Love Story cinaplex. (Note: Author's belief that Love Story would win.)

*Lady Une at the movies....

     Col.: I definitely want to see that new Stephen King thriller.

     Represenative: But America's Sweet Hearts looks so romantic...

     Col.: Romance is for wusses.

     Represenative: Violent thrillers give people the wrong idea.

     Une: What do you think Mr. Treize?

*2nd choices? I mean if Love Story's sold out....

     Duo: Don't push the button Heero!!! We could watch...ummm...TombRaider!

     Heero: Tomb Raider?

     Duo: Well at least then we wouldn't feel bad about making out inthe theater and missing it..

*Dorothy...nowadays there are so many violent war movies, how could she possibly be expected to pick?

3. Those Troublesome Ratings....


*R rated stuff...who's buying the tickets?

     "I'm sorry, sir, you're not 18..."

     "Please?"

     "I'm afraid not."

     "There is no way in Hell Shinigami's going to sit throughTeletubbies, the Movie!!"

*Of course if Quatre's paying....

     "I'm sorry, sir, you're not 18..."

     *twenty dollar bill*

     "Now am I 18?

     "Ummm...no."

     *twenty dollar bill*

     "How bout now?"

     "N-no."

     *fifty dollar bill*

     "You sure?"

     "Uhhh....."

     *say hello to Mr. Franklin!*

     "Am I 18?"

     "Yessir!"

*Or maybe Relena...

     "I'm sorry ma-"

     "I'm the Queen of the World. Let me pass."

     "Oh. that's different."

*No ID. No movie.

     "Sir, I'm afraid we need some sort of ID."

     "I'm drinking wine, what do you think!?!?!'

     "ID."

     "I left it in my other uniform."

4. The Snack Stand

*Sorry, Quatre but they don't usually serve tea....

     Quatre: Can I have some Chamomile, please?

     "I'm sorry sir, we don't offer that...."

     Quatre: What do you have?

     "Colas.."

     Quatre: Nani!?!!? But that rots your teeth!

     "....."

     Quatre: Ok, what do you have to eat?

     "Candy, popcorn, pretzels, nachos, ice-cream-"

     Quatre: That's it! Step away from the counter!

     "Hello, may I have a medium popcorn please?"

     Quatre: I'm sorry, we're out of popcorn. How bout a nice apple?

     "Errr...okay."

     Quatre: Don't forget to brush your teeth!

*No Milk Duds?

     Heero: I'd like a box of Milk Duds, please.

     "I'm sorry sir, we're all sold out."

     <<BOOM>>

     *raining Milk Duds*

     Heero: I beg to differ. Ninmu Kanyrou.

*Shinigami's sweet tooth

     Duo: Ugnnn...my tooth...my stomach...I'm gonna be sick...

     Heero: I told you, you shouldn't have had so much candy at the theater yesterday.

     Duo: Oh, shut UP!

*Sorry Zechsy

     Noin: Zechs, what would you like? I'd be happy to get it for you.

     Zechs: A large popcorn might be nice.

     Noin: Sir!

     *ten minutes later*

     Zechs: Noin, could you get me a soda please?

     Noin: Sure thing!

     *twenty minutes later*

     Zechs: Noin could you get me some Skittles?

     Noin: Okay.

     *half an hour later*

     Zechs: Noin-

     Noin: No.

     Zechs: But No~in!

     Noin: I said no. Get your own damn nachos.

4. The Horror Movies


*Wufei and that big river in Africa...

     Wu: This is not scary at all! What kind of coward would befrightened by this!!?!?

     Duo: Wufei, you're hurting my arm.

*Unresponsive partner...

     Quatre: Trowa, I'm scared!!!

     Trowa: Ok. Go outside.

     Quatre: Trowa, I said I was SCARED!

     Trowa: Yeah. And I said, go outside.

     Quatre: TROWA! I'M F***ING SCARED!

     "Shhhh...."

*Shinigami's wraith...

     "I'm sorry we're experiencing technical difficulties.."

     Duo: *appears on big screen* Bwahahaa....I've seen this movie! It sucks! So, for the next hour and a half, you shall be watching...

     *dramatic music*

     Duo: Shinigami's House of FEAR!!!!!!

     *half an hour later*

     Heero: Someone has to fix this.

     Duo: Bwaahaa...Oh, hi Heero. What's up?

     Duo: Heero, buddy, what's that for?

     Duo: Umm...Heero..MMMPHMHPH!

*Unwelcome Intruders

     Relena: HEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOO!

     Heero: Aww...shit *pushes Duo onto the floor*

     Duo: Nani!?! Heero...what are we doing?

     Heero: Ummm...hiding.

     Duo: Ah. Do you typically lie on people when you're hiding?

     Heero: Well...maybe not just hiding.

     "Darn kids...always making out all over the place..."

* Don't mess with queenie...

     "Sorry, for the interruption, but we have a broadcast from theQueen of the World."

     Relena: HEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOO I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!!!!

     Heero: Duo...mmm

     (Author's Note: Ah yes, the miracle of earplugs.)

*Special Effects

     "Ahhh! That's so scary!"

     "It looks so real!"

     Heero: These are the cheapest effects I've ever seen. I mean, it's so fake!

     Duo: You said it man.

*If only...

     Duo: No don't go in there! Idiot!

     Wufei: Turn back! He's hiding in there!

     Quatre: Oh God...*hides*

     Heero: Now...think about it. With the ZERO system, that never would have happened.

5.The Romance Movies


*That big ol' river in Africa...

     Wufei: Ha! They call this romance?!!?

     Duo: Wufei, wipe your chin. That's disgusting.

*The unresponsive partner

     Trowa: Hey, Quatre, this is boring.

     Quatre: Hn.

     Trowa: Wanna go outside?

     Quatre: No.

     Trowa: Wanna...*wiggles eyebrows suggestively* do something else?

     Quatre: Not really...

     Trowa: *sigh*

*Love Story

     Duo: That's so beautiful! *weeps*

     Heero: I know! *sob*

     *They cling to each other crying*

     Duo: Done now?

     Heero: Hai.

     Duo: Cool. Let's blow this joint.

     Heero: I'd rather blow...

     (Author's Note: *ahem*)

*Single?

     Wufei: *twiddles thumbs*

     *whistles*

     *hums*

     *throws popcorn at making out couples*

     *plays with his armrests*

     *blows bubbles in his soda*

     Wufei: I gotta get me a girlfriend...

     *Dorothy: I'm going to be sick...

TBC

Like? No like? No more coke for Lyss? continue? Let me, know, please!

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