Genre: Uhhhh... Drama?
Pairings: 2+1, nothing else touched on.
Warnings: Hm. Um. Angst. Yeah. Definetly angst. No warm fuzzies here.
Rembrant wouldn't let me.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wrote the words but I don't own the characters
mentioned. Much to my chagrin. *grins*
I hate being alone. I want
to reach out. I want to feel. I can't though. It's not aloud. Last time
that happened it was flames and bangs and crashes and people dead. People
I cared about. It hurt.
So instead, I find myself lost in shadows. The night wraps around me with
only the moon to guide my weary steps.
It's cold. I really need a jacket. Maybe I just need someone's arms around
me instead. Hands to run up and down my arms to warm me up. It won't ever
Y'see, Duo Maxwell doesn't need anyone. In the few months that the war's
been over, everyone has found a place to belong. Even me. It's just that
no one else is here with me. Mr. Smiles-happy-go-lucky doesn't need company.
He has friends. He can make friends easily. Yeah right.
Mr. Smiles died two months after the war when he realized that none of
the pilots cared enough to find out what he was up to. None of them needed
him. Awe fuck it.
I dig my thoughts out of the self pity. What I really need is a good lay.
Pent up sexual frustration and pity really is a bad combination. However,
I really have got to remember that it's kinda hard to pick up a partner
for the night when your out on some now deserted island in the pacific
I grab some of the sand next to my foot and sit, watching the sand run
out of my hand. What I really need are hands... hands and arms. I need
them to encircle me, caress me... Make me feel special.
You know things are fairly bad when your imagination can actually make
you feel them... almost... I can feel lips press against mine and I close
my eyes. Hell, your imagination can't hurt you. I imagine how the kiss
would go. A slow easy kiss that slowly escalated to a teasing-I-want-you-now
kiss. I imagine those same lips kissing my neck, right where it meets
Those hands, almost forgot about them. They would be ghosting along my
back. Barely able to be felt, relaxing me. God I don't want to be alone.
Not tonight. Not ever.
I cross my hands infront of my legs and let my forhead rest on my kneecaps.
How could they all forget? How could they all return so easily to their
lives and society. Quatre had to. Trowa had a place, the circus, but Wufei?
Heero? I could feel my stomach clench.
Wufei I could understand having a reletively easy time but Heero? I never
expected him to leave... leave me alone...
It wasn't my choice. He just up and left. None of them stayed. My shadow
lover just isn't working. It takes too much effort for my mind to have
everything work. Even if people can't get close to me, I can't stand this
God I need to have someone here... Someone to take away the pain. They
can't get close but they're gonna have to. Maybe... maybe there isn't
a curse... Maybe Heero's strong enough if there is one... I just need
someone. It hurts. It hurts... It hurts to have no one, not even my adopted
family of the pilots.
The waves crash down on the shore. They're alone too. How fitting. The
sound of the waves... it's the only sound in the night aside from the
bugs. It's completely silent. I'm completely alone. But I don't want to
be alone any more.
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