efforts are evil. *sighs* Then again... it's either Rembrant being evil
now or evil in LP and that would be bad.
Author: Mair (I know that one!)
Warnings: Angst. Slight ooc... maybe...
Disclaimer: If people haven't figured it out yet, I own nothing! If I
did I'd be rich but I'm not so there!
Feedback: Hell yes, please! Anything! Even flames! E-mail privately or
open list! Anyone who does gets me as a wifey!
There is music pounding into
every inch of my body. I can feel the base throbbing along my backbone
passing through me. People are dancing everywhere, having a good time.
They are enjoying the peace paid for with our bodies.
I don't know why I'm here still. I came in search of life. I came in search
of company. I came in search of oblivion. I've found nothing.
One night, back durring the war, we didn't have any missions and some
of the students from the school we were staying at knocked on our door.
They told us to get dressed because we were going out. Well, Duo actually
said that. They only came for him and got me as well.
We came to a place like this one. The scent of perfume, sweat and seduction
almost palatable as we walked through the door. Later I asked Duo why
he went. He said that he needed to loose himself in the music, forget
who he was. He said he needed to feel alive and not to worry about having
anyone die. It made sense at the time.
Now I'm standing off to the side, watching the crowds of dancing individuals
and seeing empty shells performing automatic functions. I don't see life.
I don't see how I can forget even if I did dance. I don't see how I could
have company when no one knows anyone and no one seems to care.
I came looking to find Duo. I spoke to Quatre a week ago. He didn't know
where he was. Trowa didn't either. They seemed surprised that I didn't
know. I told them how Wufei left and then how I realized that I needed
something to do so I set about enrolling in school. I ended up having
to leave Duo behind. I knew he would make new friends, ones that wouldn't
find him so anoying like I thought I did.
I was wrong. After a month of being at the school I really began to miss
him. I kept expecting him to waltz into the room and start chattering
away. So I went back to the house we all stayed at but it was empty. I
called and didn't get any answers.
Now I'm here, feeling empty, trying to feel alive and failing. Instead...
I feel... alone. The room is packed with people and I'm alone. I could
be out there in the throng and I'd still be alone.
I hoped he hadn't left town but apparently he has. He would be here if
he was still here. He would be here, feeling alive and forgetting. I don't
want him to forget. Correction. I don't want him to forget me. He is the
only one who makes me human, makes me feel. If he forgets me then I am
truely gone. I need him.
I turn away from the crowd and head toward the door. He left nothing behind
to suggest where he went. I have to find him. I don't want to be alone
Mair: *looks at rembrant suspiciously* This is starting to look like a
series Rem... What are you doing?
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