~blip~ = lyrics.
I don't own any part of this song. I borrowed it for fan purposes from
ceiling on the earth,~
~Well it lasted for a while.~
Duo looked out the window at the gray sky. It seemed to dampen his mood
even more. It had either been raining or cloudy or foggy for the past
two weeks. Heero had ignored him as usual even though he had done his
best to try and distract him. He had leaned over his shoulder, he had
sang and hummed aloud on a regular basis, he had stayed in the same room
as Heero when he had been reading... All Heero had done was mention killing
him about 42 times, told him to shut up 29 times and ignored him the rest
of the time.
~Take my thoughts for what
~I've been acting like a child.~
Duo pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.
He sat on the desk, still thinking. Maybe he had been taking the wrong
tack with Heero. Drawing him out just wasn't working. Getting him to like
him wasn't working. He sighed. Maybe things just weren't meant to work
out. An odd twist of pain twinged in his heart as he thought of that.
He set his chin down on his knees, starring moodily out the window.
~Your opinion, what is that?~
~It's just a different point of view.~
The door opened and he looked over. Heero closed the door softly behind
him. Heero walked over to the desk and gave Duo a dark look. "Get
Duo smiled. "Make me. You spend too much time on that thing as it
is." He said, jerking his head in the direction of the closed laptop
next to his hip.
Heero frowned, thinking. Duo sat watching him with a smile on his face,
enjoying the effect of his challenge. This was a newer reaction that he
was getting. Suddenly he found himself being picked up, the room turning,
and him falling onto the nearest bed.
He blinked now seeing the ceiling. "Gee Heero, if you wanted to get
me into bed you should have just told me..." He said sarcastically.
He had probably lost Heero's attention already.
A fist whacked the side of his knee and Duo gasped and looked up over
Heero turned back to his computer and opened it.
~What else oh what else can I do?~
~I said I'm sorry, yeah, I'm sorry...~
~Oh oh oh...~
THAT SUCKED! Duo looked at Heero with wide eyes. "Sorry Heero...
I didn't think you'd take that personally..."
~I said I'm sorry but what
~If I hurt you then I hate myself.~
~I don't want to hate my self.~
~Don't want to hurt you!~
He didn't want to be sorry though... His heart sunk out of his playful
mood at Heero's reaction. It wasn't fair. Miserably he watched as Heero
started to type, ignoring him again.
A tenseness had collected across Heero's shoulders, the first bit he had
ever seen. He must have really pissed him off. Maybe he had set some kind
of memory off about his training. He couldn't believe he had managed to
cause Heero pain somehow.
~Why do you choose your
~If you only knew how much I love you,~
Slowly, he sat up. He wished he could tell Heero how he felt. How much
he loved him. He didn't... He didn't want to cause pain to anyone... He
didn't want to cause anyone's death either... Not like last time...
He had loved the people back on L2 that had helped him, raised him, given
him his name... But he killed them just as much as the Alliance soldiers
that had taken out the orphanage.
~I won't be your winter.~
~I won't be any ones excuse to cry.~
~We can't be forgiven~
~I will be here...~
He swung his legs off of the bed and stood. Slowly he walked over to stand
in back of Heero. He put his hands on his shoulders, hoping Heero wouldn't
smack them away, and started to massage the shoulders.
~Oh picture on the shelf,~
~It's been there for a while.~
~Frozen image of ourselves,~
~We were acting like a child.~
Instead of slapping them away like he expected, Heero stiffened even more,
then slowly, almost unwillingly, started to relax.
Duo smiled to himself and closed his eyes momentarily, deciding that he
had been forgiven. His eyes opened slowly as he studied the back of Heero's
head, using his palms, digging in. Heero's hair shot wildly in every direction.
The dark brown color had some highlights, gold ones that in this light
looked almost green. He started to use his thumbs a little more, seeking
out the knots, wishing he dared to touch him in a way other than a massage.
He shook his head at his thoughts and looked around the room, his eyes
finding a picture near his bed. That caused him to smile.
~Innocent and in a trance,~
~A dance that lasted for a while~
They had all been at a school dance. Heero hadn't wanted to dance and
so he and Relena dragged him out onto the dance floor. They had been whirling
around in a circle and someone had gotten a picture. Relena and I were
laughing while Heero looked like he was going to murder someone.
~Y' read my eyes like your
~Oh remember, please remember...~
Relena had been trying to get him on the dance floor for a long time.
Eventually she enlisted my help. I wanted to see you having fun. I had
talked you into the dance but you were just drinking punch, staying close
to the bowl. Maybe you thought I would spike it if you left. You were
right, of course, but when Relena asked me to help get you onto the dance
floor it was too much of an opportunity to pass up.
When you didn't respond to her pleading, or my asking, I looked at you.
I wasn't going to beg so I asked you the only way I knew you'd understand.
~Well I'm not a beggar...~
~But what's more,~
~Well if I hurt you, then I hate myself.~
~I don't want to hurt myself~
~Don't want to hurt you!~
We got you out there and we started to spin. I guess when the flash went
off it blinded you momentarily because you fell. You got up, gave me the
glare of death and stalked off. We stopped laughing.
~Why do you choose that
~If you only knew, how much I ~
You're relaxing and turning into a pile of goo in the chair. I mean, you're
actually slouching. I smile at this. If you wanted me to, I'd get rid
of your tension and pain every day like this. It may not be the way I'd
like to touch you but it's something.
I wish I could tell you how much I love you. I'd hate to see your reaction
though. You punched me just for the bed joke. But it wasn't a joke...
~Well I won't be your winter.~
~And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry...~
~We can't be forgiven.~
~And I will be here.~
I'm not going to bring you down. I'm going to make you happy. I don't
ever want to hear or know of you being anything other than happy. I bite
my lip, lifting my hands from your shoulders and flexing my fingers.
Even if... even if what makes you happy is Relena. I'm not going to tell
you how much I love you, I value your friendship so much more. If I told
you I'd end up asking you to forgive me and things would get weird and
never be the same again.
So I'll just be here... I'll be here for you as your friend.
~Well I won't be your winter, I won't.~
~And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry.~
~And we can't be forgiven, I know.~
~And I will be here...~
to Mair's fic]