Genre: Humour, shonen ai, teensiest touch of angst
Pairings: 1x2. Eventually. Others to be figured out by the astute readers
(you'll probably be a lot quicker than Heero)
Warnings: Mild swearing, a slightly suggestive conversation, and a lot
Feedback: Please! Particularly what you like/don't like about the fic.
Disclaimer:Gundam Wing belongs to its owners (Bandai, Sunset, and a whole
host of others, none of which are me) and I'm not making any money off
of them. Not a single peanut.
Summary: Heero Yuy's mission planner: Date: AC199. Mission objective:
Finding compatible mates for Gundam Pilots 2, 3, 4 and 5. Timeframe: Undefined.
Difficulty: Moderate, despite lack of personal information on the subject
of romantic affection. How hard can it be to get people to fall in love?
AN: Huge thanks to Casey for beta-ing and laughing in all the right places,
and to Arith for the title. And I hope I won't send Jane Austen spinning
in her grave by adding that there is a slight hint of 'Emma' in this fic.
This is a blend of shonen ai, humor and lots of misunderstandings and
mistakes. Hope you enjoy! Please send feedback as I need it to beat the
plot bunnies over the head.
//THIS// is Heero's entries
on his laptop.
and Error +
Start date: 10th May 199.
Difficulty: Unknown, probably moderate.
Objective: Preserve the peace by insuring that Gundam Pilots 2, 3, 4 and
5 are mentally and physically healthy, and ready and willing to defend
it. To do this, objectives will be to help subjects adapt to peace, integrate
them into society and insure their emotional wellbeing by pairing them
off with compatible mates //
Heero paused at the keyboard, wondering if he should mention Relena. It
had been her idea, in a way. After some debate, he added her to his Information
Source field, along with the ISBN of a romance novel she kept pressuring
him to read. He was still trying to find an abridged version, he didn't
really want to go through the whole thing.
Relena was the one who had pointed out the flaw in the peace. Well not
much of a flaw, really. He did trust the other pilots. To an extent. But
that messy interlude with Mariameia and Chang had demonstrated that Gundam
pilots made dangerous loose cannons.
Heero's whole life was dedicated to peace, and to a lesser degree, to
Relena and the other people who had made it possible. It was his duty
to watch over them and make sure they were okay, mentally and physically
safe and unharmed, and ready to take up the fight for peace again if need
be. The best way to do this was to keep an eye on all of them, personally.
To start with this had been difficult. After the Eve War they'd all gone
their separate ways, and ended up on different colonies. Heero had accumulated
a lot of stress and shuttle-miles visiting and checking on each of his
old comrades in turn, between his duties to Relena and the watchful eye
he kept on the continuing peace. But after a few months of living apart
and doing their thing all the other boys had drifted together again, back
to the Sanq kingdom.
Now they all lived in the same house, an old, rambling structure that
Quatre had bought and which he rented to the others for a nominal fee.
It was close to the palace so that Heero could continue his job of protecting
Relena properly with minimum inconvenience. Wufei still took Preventer
missions in the field but when there was no call for a highly trained
soldier - and as peace lasted there was less and less need for him - he
had started to spell Heero in his surveillance duties. Duo wandered here
and there, helping Hilde out for a few days, bumming around in Howard's
new ship, but he always returned and stayed for months, taking small jobs
and apparently enjoying himself. After the circus had taken up permanent
residence in Sanq's year-round World Union Fair near New Port City, Trowa
lived with them as a matter of course. And Quatre, though he shuttled
to L4 frequently, also called the place home.
Heero had thought it an excellent arrangement.
Until that party of the second year of peace. Relena had looked at the
four other pilots, hanging together at the back of the ballroom sipping
their drinks and glaring at anyone who tried to break into their circle,
and whispered to her bodyguard at her side that she just wished they could
"Happy?" Heero had looked at the four pilots and seen no visible signs
of distress. He turned back to Relena quizzically, after an automatic
scan of the ballroom for possible dangers.
"Yes. Can't you see it, Heero?" She'd turned towards him and fixed him
with a particularly searching gaze. "They're not embracing life, they're
not moving forward. They might pretend it doesn't bother them, but I know
it does. It's not right to stay locked in one place, to stay alone -"
"Relena, they're standing together. There's four of them." Heero pointed
out reasonably only to have Relena give him her exasperated 'you're being
soldier-boy on purpose here aren't you?' look.
"Heero, listen to me. It's not normal for five healthy young men to live
all cooped up together like you do. You should all be moving out with-
with another person. A significant other person." Her cheeks had pinked
slightly and she looked at him earnestly. "That's what's normal. I know
you're all scarred by the past, but you'll never be happy until you let
someone in. Let someone get close to you, help you move past it all."
Relena's hand had plucked his sleeve hesitantly. "Do you know what I'm
Heero had looked at the four pilots talking peacefully together and realized
that all their friends, and that was not a number that bothered with double
digits, were old war companions.
"Maybe you're right." He'd said slowly. Relena had almost spilled her
drink down her gown in surprise.
Heero had said nothing for the rest of the evening, even when that ambassador
for some country or other had tried to engage him in conversation. The
man had seemed quite offended for some reason - Heero wasn't sure since
he never actually looked at the fellow - but the soldier didn't care.
He had more important things to think about. First of all, his duty to
guard Relena. Then his duty to his comrades.
They had done the impossible. They had saved the world and instated peace.
The notion grew on him slowly, unfamiliar parameters playing out in his
mind. But once reached his conclusion was solid. His friends deserved
to be happy.
Heero nodded firmly, fingers on his laptop again. This was right. He'd
take on this mission.
He glanced around his room, which had become the War Room since that conversation
with Relena. It was the smallest room in the house, under the eaves. He
didn't require anything bigger and liked being alone on this floor, and
hearing the wind blow over the tiles and through the rafters on stormy
nights. Even a Spartan would have complained about the room's furnishings
- one bed, military issue. One metal rack for clothes, mostly empty. Contents:
Five preventer uniforms, Sanq Guard issue. Two sets of civilian clothes
(issued by Relena along with some threats if she ever caught him wearing
his old idex and tanktop again). One cardboard box for shoes. A similar
box for toiletries. The bathroom was down the hall. There were proper
security measures on the door - he'd set some on the entire house but
he liked his privacy as well. All in all he liked his room. It was sufficient,
and his own space. He'd not had any place he could call his own before,
except possibly for Wing's cabin.
The room had recently gained two additional objects.
One was a piece of paper on the door reading 'Keep Out' in three different
Under the English version someone had scrawled 'Why?' in red marker.
An arrow in black marker connected the 'Why' to some words further down
the paper: "I mean it, Duo."
In red marker underneath that: "Duo? Who said Duo wrote this? And what
are you doing in there?"
In black beneath that, in words tall enough to cover what was left of
the paper: "None of your business and keep out, DUO."
Someone had taped an extra sheet of paper to the first and filled it with
red scrawl: "Or what, you'll shoot me? Why won't you tell us what you're
doing in there? Man your security is good though."
The black marker had had no room to answer on the extra piece of paper
and its dignity would not accept having to tape on an additional sheet
as well, so it had simply removed the 'Or what,' and the first '?' from
the red marker's previous sentences, underlined the result, and left it
The second addition was a whiteboard on one of the unadorned walls. It
had shapes, symbols and names on it, in code since Heero didn't trust
his security to do more than slow Duo down if his one-time partner grew
really curious. The names of the four subjects were set in a square in
the center, the way they'd been at the ball. Around them, in a different
color, were the names of every female acquaintance Heero could think of,
which was unfortunately not many. There were already a few tentative arrows
linking a few of the names.
Heero frowned at them. They were very tentative. As soon as he'd defined
his mission, he'd run up against a pretty big hitch. He knew next to nothing
about normal human relationships, beyond the camaraderie of war, and that
had taken him years to accept and master. Odin had raised him with a little
affection and a lot of distance. J had not raised him, he'd constructed
Heero in much the same was he'd built Wing. Heero had no example, no template
to work with, to show him anything more than the friendship his comrades
had taught him, slowly and sometimes painfully during and after the war.
He'd never had any contact with a loving relationship. This was a very
big hurdle, but he was not in the habit of letting the fact a mission
was impossible get in the way of its achievement, or he'd never have undertaken
Operation Meteor in the first place.
His fingers flew over the laptop.
//First step: Gather more information regarding romantic relations.//
He put down the laptop firmly and picked up Relena's romance novel with
a determined air.
//Mission duration: 2 hours.
First Step Correction: Find more reliable source of information.//
[chap. 2] [back to