Author: We Evil Two
(Mel & Christy, that is, not some other evil people.)
Category: AU, Drama, Romance
Pairings: 5x2, 1xR, 3x4
Warnings: Yaoi, language, angst & FLUFF!
Disclaimer: No money, no ownie, no sue!
Feedback: Yes, please.
minor scene change (from person to person at the same place, etc): ----------
major scene change (at another place, some time later, etc): * * * * *
flashback or dream starting or ending: ~*~*~*~
thoughts (and the occasional sound effect): *Tadah!*
some more sound effects (little ones!): -tadah!-
electronics (phone, TV, intercom etc): <<Tadah!>>
Rebuilding + Chapter 14
I'm dreaming. Must
In that strange half-aware state between waking and sleeping, Duo snuggled
closer to the warm body in his arms. Yep. Definitely dreaming... I
know 'Fei's not here. Relena's here, not 'Fei. 'Fei's still working. But
it feels like 'Fei...
"I don'wanna wake up," he mumbled, nuzzling the solid chest
beneath his head.
"Why not?" someone asked softly.
Even sounds like 'Fei..."'Cause I'm dreaming. S'nice."
"Oh?" A hand was slowly stroking his hair, and Duo almost purred.
"What are you dreaming about?"
"You. An' you're not really my 'Fei. You're Relena. An' if I wake
up you'll go back to being Relena," Duo explained, feeling fuzzy-headed
but sure of his facts. "Relena's okay, but she's not you... I mean...
you're not 'Fei. So I don'wanna wake up."
"Duo, you're not dreaming," the dream-Wufei's voice said, suppressing
laughter. "Open your eyes."
"No-ooo! Relena, lemme sleep!"
"Would Relena do this?"
A warm hand pushed Duo's chin up, and suddenly he was being thoroughly
...No way in hell would Relena taste like Wufei. No matter how
good a dream I was having!
Duo's eyes flew wide open, and he stared disbelievingly at Wufei for a
moment; then Wufei discovered that he'd been mistaken when he'd thought
Duo was cuddled as close to him as was humanly possible to get. Squirming
up until he could kiss Wufei without either of them straining their necks,
Duo clung to him with surprising strength, winding one leg around Wufei's
to pull him closer.
I shouldn't have gone on that mission, Wufei thought guiltily,
wrapping his arms tightly around the braided teen to provide the physical
assurance he seemed to need. I know he needed me to prove that I'd
come back, but still... It was too soon. Too long away. Too stressful...
Duo's fingers felt like they were going to leave bruises, but right then
Wufei would rather have shot himself in the foot than say so.
Even if he could have gotten his mouth free for long enough to form a
coherent sentence, which didn't seem to be an option right then.
"How'd you get back so fast?" Duo gasped, breaking off the kiss
eventually. "Whatever happened to 'a couple more days'? Not that
I'm complaining," he added quickly, a slow grin spreading across
his face as he began to relax.
"Une ordered Trowa to mail me home via Manguanac Express," Wufei
managed to say dryly, reaching up to stroke Duo's bangs away from his
face. "Remind me to do something nice for her on her next birthday...
whenever that is. She also gave me today and tomorrow off, so she must
have been feeling unusually benevolent." Or worried about you.
I think I can forgive her for everything she did during the war, just
for that one kind thought...
"July twenty-third," Duo said automatically, leaning down for
another kiss, slower and less urgent this time.
When Duo pulled back again, Wufei blinked up at him with a puzzled frown.
"How is it that you know her birthday? Her secretary's been
trying to find out when it is for months, to add her to the office birthday
"Oh, I-- birthday roster?"
"Semi-surprise birthday morning teas and suchlike are becoming a
Preventer tradition," the Chinese teen told him, grimacing. "So
far, I have avoided that embarrassment. So has Une. People have even tried
to hack into her personnel file, but nobody's managed it yet. Is that
how you did it?"
"I asked Treize."
"You asked-- you what?" Wufei sat bolt upright, rolling
Duo into his lap.
"I hacked into his email and sent him a message, asking him,"
Duo said sheepishly from his new position. "He told me. I guess he
already knew I was sending her presents, and figured it couldn't hurt..."
"Does she know you did that?"
"Well, she knows that I know when her birthday is, 'cause I kidnapped
her and took her to an amusement park. I didn't tell her how I found
out, though, but maybe Treize did..."
Wufei let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a gurgle of laughter,
slowly folding forward over Duo and gathering him into a hug. "Oh
gods. Oh, gods, Duo, that is such a quintessentially Maxwell
thing to do," he said in a strangled voice, shoulders shaking. "I
would have had a heart attack if I'd known what you were doing, but I
can just imagine the look on Une's face..."
"Oh, no you can't," Duo insisted, starting to snicker. "Trust
me. You had to be there."
"Someday, you are going to tell me the whole story," Wufei said,
trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably. "Promise me.
I will settle for nothing less than a moment by moment description of
the entire incident."
"You got it," Duo said happily, settling into the hug with a
sigh. "Including the running gun battle and The Puppy That Saved
The Day. I promise."
A faint squeak of feminine dismay came from the direction of the kitchen,
followed by a series of bangs and crashes, and the usual end- of-disaster
noise of something spinning to a halt.
"If it's bad enough to make Relena swear, we'd better get out there
and see what happened," Wufei said, a little nervously.
"Well, she can't cook, but she has managed to avoid doing
herself grievous bodily harm... so far," Duo added, scrambling out
of bed and heading for the door.
Relena was kneeling in the middle of the floor in her fuzzy pyjamas, surrounded
by spilled coffee and crumbs, apparently checking the toaster for dents.
"I'm sorry," she almost wailed as she looked up and saw them.
"I didn't want to wake you up, but I thought I'd make you breakfast
before I left, so I was getting the toaster out of the cupboard and the
cord got caught behind the coffee tin and I tried to catch it but I dropped
"Relena, it's okay, really!" Wufei interrupted quickly, taking
the toaster out of her hands and pulling her to her feet. "Accidents
happen and are easily fixed." Duo had already picked his way past
the mess to get the dustpan and brush out from under the sink, so Wufei
concentrated on getting Relena out of the way without bringing too much
of the coffee with her.
"It wouldn't have been nearly as messy if the coffee hadn't come
open," Relena sighed ruefully, dusting off her knees and feet before
taking a long step out of the spill. "I think the catch hit the countertop
on the way down and flipped open. And of course the crumb tray came off
the bottom of the toaster, too..."
"It's either Murphy's Law, Fate, or blind random chance being annoying,
depending on who you ask," Wufei said dryly. "At least it didn't
end up upside-down," he added, picking up the item in question and
looking for the lid. "About half of it is still in here, which means
Duo and I will not be caffeine zombies this morning."
"You mean I can't take photos of you two staggering around, groaning
"I would filter the floor sweepings before I allowed you to record
that for posterity," he snorted, taking the filled dustpan
from Duo with a quick grateful smile, and headed for the bin.
After Relena got started on her second (and hopefully more successful)
attempt at breakfast, Duo tugged tentatively at Wufei's arm and led him
out into the lounge room. "I was thinking... I mean, if you don't
"Hm?" Wufei made an encouraging noise as Duo trailed off, gathering
the braided teen into a comfortable embrace.
"Well, Relena did cancel her appointments for the whole week,"
Duo got out in a rush, "and she could probably use the break anyway
and... well... maybe she could stay?"
Wufei didn't need to consider for more than a few seconds before he nodded.
"If she wants to, certainly. It's a good idea. Do you want to ask
Duo squirmed uncomfortably. "It's your place."
And you're still not that comfortable with talking to her, even
if you do want her to stay, Wufei translated mentally. "Our
place," he said gently, lifting Duo's chin and making him meet his
eyes, "but yes, I'll ask her."
Duo was wide-eyed and blinking as Wufei took him by the hand and towed
him back into the kitchen.
"I'm so glad you asked me to stay," Relena said happily,
buttering her toast. "I haven't had a holiday for ages, and I never
get the chance to shop without Heero and a flock of assistants and bodyguards
following me everywhere. And reporters of course."
"...Shop?" Wufei asked, suddenly having the feeling that the
situation was no longer under his control. "I don't think--"
"Well, this is the only way I'm going to be able to get Heero a Valentine's
gift without him having a good idea what it is," she pointed out.
"I want to take you two out to lunch anyway, so we could make an
afternoon of it. Quatre's birthday is two days after Valentine's, and
Trowa's is in March, so I should get something for them too... and then
there's you, Duo, but I can't exactly buy your present if you're going
to be right there."
"Sounds fair enough to me," Duo said quietly to his coffee cup.
"I thought Trowa didn't know when his birthday was," Wufei objected,
abruptly sidetracked. "I thought Duo didn't... Duo?"
"They threw darts," Relena giggled.
"It was right in the middle of the war." Duo looked up with
a crooked smile, a glint of humour peeking out of the quiet shell he'd
retreated into after the first exuberant reaction to Wufei's return had
passed. "I figured if there was no way for us to know when our birthdays
were, we could just pick dates and celebrate then. I made H- Heero print
out a year planner, and he and Trowa and I all threw darts at it. I think
you were on a solo mission," he added, "and by the time you
got back, something else had blown up... I guess nobody thought to tell
And you didn't think I would care... gods, I was so blind, Wufei
"Trowa got March twelfth, Duo got March eighteenth, and Heero got
June twenty-first. --That's right, isn't it?" Relena asked, turning
to Duo for confirmation. "Heero didn't write them down or anything,
but that's what he told me."
"So, it's settled. We'll go shopping!" she declared.
"No, no, wait!" Wufei protested. "Relena, you're very
recognisable. I hardly think Duo and I constitute a proper security detail
for you! And you wouldn't want a reporter to get a photo of your black
eye before it's had a chance to fade, would you?"
"I'm recognisable when I'm wearing designer clothes and have my hair
up the way people are used to seeing it," Relena argued. "I'll...
I'll borrow a pair of jeans from one of you. I've got a plain jacket and
loafers, and I'll put my hair in a ponytail or a plait like Duo's. As
for the bruise, I do have makeup here. I can cover it up."
"Well enough to pass inspection if you do get spotted?"
Relena smirked. "I may not have any experience at covering up black
eyes, but it's the same principle as hiding a pimple, only on a larger
scale." Seeing Wufei and Duo's incredulous expressions, she let out
an unladylike snort. "Did you honestly think I made it through puberty
with perfect skin? I wasn't that lucky, but nobody ever saw anything."
Duo snickered quietly and got up, grabbing at her hand. "C'mon. Let's
find some jeans to fit you..."
They had to go through five pairs of jeans before they found one that
Relena could wriggle her hips into, and she had an uncertain look on her
face as she eyed her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Trust Wufei
not to bother with a full length mirror in his bedroom," she muttered,
standing on tiptoe and craning her neck, trying to get a glimpse of regions
south of her belt buckle. "Just like Heero. It's almost criminal...
they look so good, and they don't even care..." Unable to
find an angle that would let her see her rear, either, she made an irritated
noise and threw the door open.
"Those ones fit?" Duo asked hopefully.
"Duo, I've never thought I'd have to say this line, and I really
hope you aren't going to laugh," she said unceremoniously, turning
around to face away from him. "Do these make me look fat?"
Duo blinked in surprise, then let his gaze drop to her bottom. "Um...
no?" he hazarded, raising an eyebrow at the tight, worn denim.
"That's not a very reassuring tone of voice."
"You don't look fat," Wufei said flatly, walking over to lean
on the wall next to Duo. "You look like you're proud of your figure,
and have decided to show it off."
"I can live with that," she sighed, turning around. "Why
do men have to be the ones who get trim butts?"
"Somebody had to," he responded, briefly grinning sideways at
"Hilde once complained that we got better eyelashes, too," Duo
grinned back. "Something about hormones, I think."
"Better living through testosterone," Wufei murmured. "The
search is over, I take it?"
"Yes. My temporarily deficient wardrobe isn't going to save you from
this shopping trip," Relena said smugly. "I have a chance to
act like a normal eighteen-year-old girl for once, and I'm determined
to take it. So there."
"I see you've already begun," Wufei snorted. "I don't think
that 'so there' is part of your normal debating repertoire."
"Neither is 'nyah', but I'm considering it," she laughed. "Come
on, let's go!"