Author: Merula
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Written for a friend who wanted a lemon and for April Fools Day. This isn't quite a lemon, but to be safe, I'm rating it R for suggestive stuff. A 1x2...

Warnings: Silliness.

Lock the Door

Heero opened the door to the apartment he shared with Duo and blinked. He closed the door, took a breath, and opened it again.

Nope, it had not been a hallucination brought on by a stressful day.

Duo was stretched out on the couch.

Naked.

On his stomach, for which Heero both mentally blamed and thanked God for.

In one hand was an odd looking device which Heero remembered Hilde giving to Duo last Christmas. It had a big handle and all kinds of weird attachments. Hilde had called it a 'personal massager'.

Heero privately had thought that the thing was too damn big to be very personal, but Duo had laughed about it. Occasionally he had pulled it out, plugged it in, and used it on his shoulders.

At the moment though, it was hovering around his lower back, humming at a frantic pitch.

Heero wondered if he should just leave and go down to the coffee shop. Though if Duo was doing what it looked like he was doing... maybe he wouldn't notice if Heero stayed and watched?

"Heero! You're home!" Duo had turned his head and spied his transfixed room mate in the doorway. "Get over here! I need you."

Well, that was highly encouraging. Heero had shut the door and was halfway to the couch before the rest of Duo's plaint registered.

"I pulled my back today on that stupid mission. That's the last time I take Fei as back up. He can babysit Relena and you can come cover my ass..."

Heero closed his eyes for a moment and wished Duo would just shut up. The mental images were distracting.

"So you pulled it?" He tried to pull himself together. He could do this.

"I think so. Hurts like hell. I fell and landed in a dumpster. I made Fei do the report. I came home and took a shower, but it still hurt!" Duo wiggled and Heero had to stop for a moment. Down boy. Heero sighed and pulled the massager out of Duo's hand.

"Let me. Lay flat." He bent over Duo's back, switching the massager off and leaning it against the sofa. He rubbed his hands together briskly, warming them, then placed them on Duo's lower back.

"Ooo!" Duo arched up into his hands. Heero took a deep breath.

"Stay still." He rubbed Duo's lower back for a moment before the awkwardness of his position made him move without thinking. He straddled Duo's legs and continued the massage.

The new position worked better for Duo, who was soon groaning under his touch. Heero began to run through mission reports in his head. Anything he could think of to distract him from Duo moaning and twisting under his hands.

"Yeessss... oh that's perfect!"

Judging that Duo was a bit more relaxed, Heero bent to pick up the massager.

At that moment, their apartment door swung open.

"Heero? Are you home? I wanted to..."

Relena's mouth opened at the sight of nude Duo squirming underneath a red Heero who was holding something vaguely obscene looking... nooo...

Dorothy, standing beside her, looked like a cat who had just received an entire container of cream.

"Looks like Heero's in good hands, Lena. Let's go." And she reached out and closed the door.

Duo wiggled a bit, looking towards the door. "Oops. Who was that?"

"Dorothy and Relena. Just checking in, I guess."

"Good thing I was lying on my stomach, or they might have gotten the wrong idea." Duo chuckled. "At least they'll knock next time."

"I think they got the wrong idea already," Heero muttered.

"Wonder why they came by..."

"I got shot at today."

Heero found himself flat on his back a moment later, Duo leaning worriedly over him. "Shot at? Are you hurt?"

"Just a scratch. Arm shot." Duo frowned and began tugging Heero's shirt off.

"Let me see!"

"I'm okay!" Heero could feel his cheeks getting warmer.

To say nothing of other parts of his body.

Duo had managed to unbutton most of Heero's shirt and stick his hands inside when their door swung open again.

Heero mentally groaned.

Why the hell did no one knock? Why the hell hadn't he locked the door behind him?

Duo twisted to look towards the door, body brushing Heero's in a most distracting fashion.

Oh yeah, that's why.

"Maxwell! Yuy! You wouldn't believe what that Catalonia woman said..." Wufei started and then gaped like a fish. Quatre, next to him, gained Dorothy's smile.

"I think you owe Doro some money." Quatre bowed. "Sorry to disturb you two. But really, lock your door."

The door swung shut again.

"Oh, this looks bad." Duo suddenly seemed to get it.

"You think so?" Heero asked wryly.

"I'll explain it to them tomorrow." Duo's gaze narrowed. "I haven't forgotten about your arm. Show me."

"It's not that bad." Heero tried to slide out from under Duo. He couldn't do this much longer. Wrestling with the guy you've had a crush on for years was bad enough. Add in the fact that guy was unclothed and trying to pull Heero's clothes off- even for the most innocent of reasons...

Not good. Duo would notice something soon...

"Give me your shirt, Yuy!"

"Duo!" Heero managed to slide off the couch, but Duo followed him to the floor. Heero rolled over, Duo pinned under him, Duo's hands knotted in his shirt. "Let go!"

"No! Take it off!"

They rolled back and forth for a few moments, Heero desperately trying to get free, Duo equally determined that he was going no where in the near future.

Duo's hands managed to yank Heero's shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, pinning them against the sides of his body. Heero had managed to get on top, leaning into Duo, struggling to free his hands.

"Just take the damn thing off, Yuy! I want to see it!"

A soft gasp from the door made them turn and look. Hilde stood there, Trowa beside her.

"I guess you two already have dinner covered." Trowa smirked and closed the door.

"Why the hell does no one KNOCK?" Heero shouted exasperated.

"WE DID! YOU DIDN'T HEAR US!" Hilde shouted back through the door.

"Aw crap." Duo muttered as they heard the sound of giggles fade into the distance. "I think our reps are ruined, Heero. Sorry about this."

"Huh?" Heero was still staring at the door. It was going to be Zechs next. Or Howard. Or even J, back from the dead, arrived just to stare at his hapless pupil.

"This story is going to be all over HQ tomorrow. I'm really sorry..."

"All over HQ?" Heero looked down at the man underneath him. "What will?"

"This. Us together. They'll think we're a couple..." Duo squirmed and Heero felt something...

Apparently this wasn't only exciting for him.

"Then we might as well make it worth our while." Heero grinned like a shark.

There was only so much even the Perfect Soldier could take after all...

"Heero...?"

He bent down and kissed Duo, cutting off the rest of his sentence. . .

"What say we lock the door and start all over?"

"You'll take your clothes off, too?"

"I'll even give you a personal massage ..." He bent back down to Duo's mouth.

They promptly forgot all about the door.

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