Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
+ Part 10
"How could you do that to me
Duo?" The pain in those dark blue eyes was evident. Pain I had caused.
This was my fault that Heero hurt so much. I hadn't wanted him to be hurt
like this. I had thought he and Wufei... Heero was waiting for my answer.
"I thought... I thought I was doing the right thing. I told you- everyone
I love dies. I knew if I joined the Preventers... or even if I didn't..."
Heero took a deep breath and reached out to touch my shoulders.
"It wasn't the right thing. Do you know what it did to me? To Wufei? We
were sure we had frightened you off somehow. We needed you!"
"You didn't need me!" I pushed away from him. "You didn't! You and Wufei
were perfect together!" I closed my mouth, appalled at what had come out.
"No," Heero replied calmly. "Or we'd still be together. But you thought
that didn't you?" He reached out to me again. "Despite everything we said
and did, you still made yourself the outsider."
"Made myself the outsider?" I repeated moving out of his reach. "Why?
Because I didn't join the Preventers? Because I left? I was the outsider
even before then Heero! I wasn't like the two of you." I drew in a deep
breath and closed my eyes. "I'm not good or honorable or anything like
the two of you... I'm death..."
"Stop that!" Heero pushed me against the wall, pinning me there with his
body. "You are not death! Not to me! You're my life! And you left!"
"You had Wufei!"
"And I love him, but he's not what you are to me! Why can't you see that?"
Heero leaned closer. "You are my life! If loving you means that I'm going
to die, I don't care! It would be better than just existing without you!"
His mouth descended to mine, and he kissed me bruisingly.
"Heero..." I managed when he let me.
"I'm not letting you go again, Duo, do you hear me? I don't care if you
hate me, I don't care if you take a dozen other lovers to spite me. I
won't let you leave and you won't be able to drive me away. Never again!"
"Heero- be reasonable," I tried, frightened by his tone.
"Why? You aren't." He retorted. He had me there. "I was reasonable when
I told you we should invite Wufei in to join us. I was reasonable when
I tried to tell you that we'd never leave you. I was reasonable when I
tried to get you to join the Preventers. Screw reasonable." He kissed
me again. "My emotions are telling me to grab on to you and never let
go. I'm going to follow them."
He pulled me into a tight embrace. I was shaking. Heero had never been
like this before. Gods, I had hurt him badly. And, oh, I wanted him with
me. More than anything else in the world, I wanted him.
I wrapped my arms tightly around him, knowing that I didn't want to let
him go either. I wasn't strong enough to leave him again. Not after this.
I clung to him and he held me, murmuring softly against my hair. "Let
me stay with you. I need you..."
"I'm scared, Heero..." I admitted.
"I promise I won't leave you. I won't- no matter what." I looked up at
him then, seeing those cobalt eyes still dark with pain.
"You can't promise me that." Gods I wished he could!
"I can and I will promise it- but Duo, you have to promise me the same.
Swear to stay with me? Please." I couldn't resist that note of pleading
inhis voice. It was drowning out my fears, my logic- I wanted to believe
"I'll stay with you- I promise." I told him, hoping that he was right
and I was wrong. Hoping we could keep that kind of promise.
"You won't leave me again?"
"No." We clung to each other tightly in my dark apartment. Suddenly, Heero's
phone rang. He pulled back a little and smiled faintly as he tugged it
out of his pocket.
"Yuy," he said into the receiver. "Yeah, we're finished..... His apartment...."
His smile increased slightly. "I'll ask." He looked up at me. "Trowa says
that they still want to have dinner with you. Shall I tell him we're on
"Yes," he said into the phone. "We'll be there soon."
[part 9] [part 11] [back
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