Author: Merula
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Run and Hide + Part 10

"How could you do that to me Duo?" The pain in those dark blue eyes was evident. Pain I had caused. This was my fault that Heero hurt so much. I hadn't wanted him to be hurt like this. I had thought he and Wufei... Heero was waiting for my answer.

"I thought... I thought I was doing the right thing. I told you- everyone I love dies. I knew if I joined the Preventers... or even if I didn't..." Heero took a deep breath and reached out to touch my shoulders.

"It wasn't the right thing. Do you know what it did to me? To Wufei? We were sure we had frightened you off somehow. We needed you!"

"You didn't need me!" I pushed away from him. "You didn't! You and Wufei were perfect together!" I closed my mouth, appalled at what had come out.

"No," Heero replied calmly. "Or we'd still be together. But you thought that didn't you?" He reached out to me again. "Despite everything we said and did, you still made yourself the outsider."

"Made myself the outsider?" I repeated moving out of his reach. "Why? Because I didn't join the Preventers? Because I left? I was the outsider even before then Heero! I wasn't like the two of you." I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I'm not good or honorable or anything like the two of you... I'm death..."

"Stop that!" Heero pushed me against the wall, pinning me there with his body. "You are not death! Not to me! You're my life! And you left!"

"You had Wufei!"

"And I love him, but he's not what you are to me! Why can't you see that?" Heero leaned closer. "You are my life! If loving you means that I'm going to die, I don't care! It would be better than just existing without you!" His mouth descended to mine, and he kissed me bruisingly.

"Heero..." I managed when he let me.

"I'm not letting you go again, Duo, do you hear me? I don't care if you hate me, I don't care if you take a dozen other lovers to spite me. I won't let you leave and you won't be able to drive me away. Never again!"

"Heero- be reasonable," I tried, frightened by his tone.

"Why? You aren't." He retorted. He had me there. "I was reasonable when I told you we should invite Wufei in to join us. I was reasonable when I tried to tell you that we'd never leave you. I was reasonable when I tried to get you to join the Preventers. Screw reasonable." He kissed me again. "My emotions are telling me to grab on to you and never let go. I'm going to follow them."

He pulled me into a tight embrace. I was shaking. Heero had never been like this before. Gods, I had hurt him badly. And, oh, I wanted him with me. More than anything else in the world, I wanted him.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, knowing that I didn't want to let him go either. I wasn't strong enough to leave him again. Not after this.

I clung to him and he held me, murmuring softly against my hair. "Let me stay with you. I need you..."

"I'm scared, Heero..." I admitted.

"I promise I won't leave you. I won't- no matter what." I looked up at him then, seeing those cobalt eyes still dark with pain.

"You can't promise me that." Gods I wished he could!

"I can and I will promise it- but Duo, you have to promise me the same. Swear to stay with me? Please." I couldn't resist that note of pleading inhis voice. It was drowning out my fears, my logic- I wanted to believe him.

"I'll stay with you- I promise." I told him, hoping that he was right and I was wrong. Hoping we could keep that kind of promise.

"You won't leave me again?"

"No." We clung to each other tightly in my dark apartment. Suddenly, Heero's phone rang. He pulled back a little and smiled faintly as he tugged it out of his pocket.

"Yuy," he said into the receiver. "Yeah, we're finished..... His apartment...." His smile increased slightly. "I'll ask." He looked up at me. "Trowa says that they still want to have dinner with you. Shall I tell him we're on our way?"

"Uh- sure."

"Yes," he said into the phone. "We'll be there soon."

[part 9] [part 11] [back to Merula's fic]