By: Nazarri Blue
There is, within
the depth of every soul, a call, an eternal pull toward the unspoken needs.
To deny this bidding can be painful to not only yourself, but to the one
with whom you share your soul.
Heero's POV A Spiritual Moment of Truth .
Biting Silence + Part Two
Love hath a language of
A voice that goes
From heart to heart - whose mystic tone
Love only knows
- Persian love poem
Morning brings no light to
my heart. I know that today is a day of change; I can feel it so deeply
that I do not doubt myself.
The encroaching darkness upon my world feels ominous and consuming. My
heart sinks as I pick up the white-flowered tree and head toward the dining
room for breakfast. The last of my hopes are based upon this morning's
meal. It was a difficult decision, but something must change for I no
longer wish to feel so isolated in a home full of people.
As I walk, I find myself hoping that I am wrong about everything. I don't
want to be invisible to my friends; I need them. If only someone would
reach out and take just a moment to be with me. My heart feels so cold
and empty, just like my life. I am nothing to anyone, who would want to
be with someone like me? I am socially inept and utterly lost in a world
that I am not trained to fully deal with.
But it is stupid to expect friends or anyone to fulfill your personal
needs. If you can't do it, how can you possibly expect anyone else to
do it for you?
Entering through the patio doors, I walk around the crowded table toward
my seat. As usual, Trowa and Quatre sit side by side at the head of the
table. Wufei and Zechs sit on the right. I walk around to the left side,
taking my regular seat on Trowa's other side.
Placing the potted tree on the table, a certain resignation washes over
Trowa nodded as he buttered his toast. I know that he is acknowledging
my presence, but I had hoped that he would make eye contact with me.
Quatre looked at the bonsai and smiled. He opened his mouth as if he was
about to say something, but one of his sisters demanded his immediate
attention. That is the end of that.
I look over at Wufei, he seems intensely interested in his food, and this
is obviously a distraction. My mind starts to wonder what is going on
across the table, although I doubt that I really want to know. Zechs is
reading something, his eyes seemingly following words. But both of his
hands are below the table. I may be naïve but I am not stupid.
I stare at my empty plate. Food doesn't interest me right now, nothing
does. I am nothing; I deserve nothing so no wonder I have faded away from
My despair has graduated to
acceptance and resignation. My friends will never see me as they see each
other, as lovers and couples. I am Heero, alone, lover to no one.
I could go to my room and stay there until I starved to death, would anyone
notice? Not likely. Perhaps the smell of my rotting flesh would bring
visitors to my room. It would actually be humorous if it weren't sadly
But this seems to sum it all up. They have formed alliances and in a sense,
strongholds. I am simply not a part of that. I may be their friend and
they know that I exist, but I am a fixture in their lives and nothing
more. I am not wanted.
As I stare at my empty plate, I contemplate the various ways that I can
end my existence. Leaving and heading out into the real world wasn't a
safe idea for anyone, including myself. I tend to get frustrated by people
who don't understand or outright ignore my methods of communication. Sometimes
I express my anger with a gun and or a death threat, Duo says that I shouldn't
Why did Duo come to mind? Why now? Why did my body suddenly feel a spark
of life from within?
As I ponder this, my consciousness is touched by the rhythmic jingle of
distant bells. A barely discernable ring, a tinkle of a bell, perhaps
two, touches my desolate world.
It is steadily getting closer. No one else seems to notice.
Tingling warmth washes through me.
The rhythm of the jingle sounds
bold and measured by body motion, as if the bells are coming for me. Somehow,
The sound of the bells has stopped.
He is here.
In the hall, I can only see his silhouette for the lack of any lighting.
His violet eyes seem to glow, piercing the darkness to look straight into
mine. His gaze penetrates me to the very core of my soul. I feel his very
essence as it mingles with my own. My awareness senses our needs, our
wants, and our eternal oneness.
I cease to breathe; my entire being is paralyzed with comprehension. Everything
about my life is about to change.
The biting silence is about to be shattered into a million pieces.
He slowly steps into the light of the dining room, presenting me with
a wicked grin, teasing me with my first view of Duo Maxwell in almost
To say that my Duo is beautiful is simply a generality used to try to
put words to a concept that can't be described. He is so much more than
that. Duo is strength personified, inside and out. He is small in form
and gracefully toned; but as he enters the room, he is larger than life.
Duo rules any room that he occupies. I have seen it happen so many times.
That doesn't mean that he can't hide, because when he does, you will never
know that he is there. But he is such an intense presence; he couldn't
help but to be the center of attention.
So there he stands, leaning idly against the doorframe to the dining room
as if his unusual garments are everyday wear.
The din of the room suddenly falls to silence as the household beholds
the sight that my mind and heart cherish.
A short leather tunic of charcoal gray and amethyst leather hide graces
his torso. On the shoulders, Celtic designs are tooled into the hard leather.
The top stops just below his waist.
Outrageous dark gray and purple leggings leave absolutely nothing to the
imagination, they sensuously mold over every tight muscle of his ass and
thighs. Knee-height soft leather boots of matching colors encase his lower
His hair falls loose and free, hanging almost to his knees. The sumptuous
chestnut silk is drawn away from his face by an elaborate system of small
braids intertwined with leather decorative pieces.
He is a tantalizing vision.
But what draws the attention of everyone in the room is the scandalous
codpiece planted blatantly over his crotch. The bright purple leather
piece is adorned with numerous tiny bells, announcing the presence of
Duo and his cock everywhere he went.
I cannot help but stare like the rest of the room's occupants.
And there he is, his eyes never to be drawn away from me, shaking the
very foundation of my soul.
Duo Maxwell has arrived.
He has come for me.
[part 1] [part 3]
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