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Shoot Me in the Dark by Masamune @ The Sanctuary
Oh-ho-ho my god. There was a time when, if a fic was posted to the ml's and it had 'angst' as a warning, I would still read it. We all know how much I'm a sucker for angst, no matter that it can all but make me feel like I'm quite literally in physical pain. This fic? This fic put an end to all that. Now I see the word 'angst', without the obligatory balancing 'sap' ^_~ , and run hell for leather in whatever direction has the fewest obstacles for as long as my metaphorical little legs will carry me. This fic is the saddest gw fic I have ever read. It's a fic I would give my immortal soul (ok... maybe not my soul... ^_~) to forget, and yet one which I never will. I only have to see the title and I'm halfway to tears... Ah, the power of fics...
warnings: unrequited 2+1 ~ AU-ness ~ dark ~ unrelenting mega-angst ~ death fic ~ alternate view of, and outcome to, Duo's so publicly televised capture (I think... it's not like I'm going to read it again to make sure... *sob*)
[ added 20 jun 03 ]

Slowly Bleeding By Kashu Arashi @ Tsuki no Kage
Heero Yuy -- the pilot I love to be apathetic about. I've had my eyes opened to the joy that is Trowa, my horizons broadened to the wonder of Wufei, learned to appreciate everything Quatre, and... well, Duo was just a given ( ^_~ ), but it wasn't until this exact moment, or at least this exact fic, that I finally broke down and decided that... Heero is a hell of a guy. I've expressed before that I really had no idea why I felt nothing whatsoever for the spandexed evil kneivel (in anything other than his relationship with Duo), and I still don't have a clue. What I can tell you, without any doubt, is what exactly it is that has changed my mind. I've attached many an adjective to Heero. We all have. He's the perfect soldier. He's strong. He's brusque. He's got a heart of stone, the communication skills of a rock, and is an emotionless bastard. He's also got a heart of glass, follows his emotions, and has been known to snuggle fondly with a ferret or two. Needless to say, I haven't been entirely thrilled with either of these views, or the entire spectrum of Heero interpretations that span the gap between them. The Heero I've finally fallen for is... human. He's fragile. He's searching for something that he's never known anyone, let alone he, might ever need look for. He's lost and alone. He's frigging vulnerable, in a thankfully non-suicidal way. And you know what? For the first time, in my eyes, he's beautiful.
[ latent plotness (heh): The war is over. No more need for any soldier, perfect or no. Heero is adrift in a sea full of nothing that he can recognize and is purposeless when so many have found their way. It is only when he meets up with a man, a fellow ex-soldier, who has the unfathomable ability to make him lose his tightly coveted control that he finally begins to realize that maybe, just maybe, he might not need it anymore. Still kinda vague, huh, but better than nothing, ne? *semi-maniacal laugh* ]
warnings: 6x1 (gasp! the world has officially ended and hell hath frozen over! dacia has rec-ed a 6x1!!!)(*ahem*); ref. to 4xOFC, 2+H (*grimace*), hazy 1+2, past 6+9 & 2+1... there might be a few more that I'm forgetting, but everything besides the main pairing is very slight ~ yaoi ~ lemon ~ post war-ness ~ angst ~ nice Relena ~ Heero POV ~ finding peace
[ added 17 feb 03 ]

So it Started by Terrasa (3 parts) @ Beautiful Emotions
It's a funny thing that I like fics about pain. Not physical pain, although that might come into the equation (especially with my penchant for the torture Christine puts the pilots through)(heh...), but emotional pain. I'm supposing it's a natural part of the human condition, seeing as how so many of you seem to agree with me. I'm also supposing that it's not funny that so many gw fics end up angst considering... well, considering everything -- the war, the pilot's childhoods, or lack thereof, and so forth. Not alot of happy stuff goin' on there *snort*. Yet it's not really the war itself that allows so many authors to so skillfully tug at our heartstrings -- it's what the war does to people who, after all is said and done, really don't want to fight. Heero is perhaps the epitome of this, Mr. Perfect Soldier himself. And Duo is, as always, the one to want to show him that life isn't all about fighting, that it shouldn't be, that it mustn't be. But trying to change the point of view of a boy who has had tunnel visions for nearly his entire life is not an easy or simple thing, nor is it guaranteed to bring happiness or comfort. Sometimes fiddling with hearts causes them to be beaten, shattered... broken. And we all know, perhaps the soldier best of all, that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. *dacia steadies herself having been thoroughly quaked by her own melodramatic-ness* *cough*
warnings: 1x2, mention of 3x4 ~ shounen ai ~ light lime ~ Heero POV ~ mental anguish (and how...) ~ war-ness ~ and, yes, hope
[ added 06 oct 03 ]

Some Way Back by Arithion (23 parts) @ Golden Yaoi Huggle
Duo in pain. Duo tormented. Duo suffering to such an extent that hell seems like it might be a nice place to escape to, for just a little while. Pain so real and so deep and so insurmountably overwhelming that... it's just wonderful! I'm such an unholy mess of a girl to be so truly enthralled by this much misery and despair! Don't you just love it! *ahem*
[ note: hell, yes, there's a plot! but this is one of those fics you need to jump into blind to get the full impact of. go. read. NOW. ]
warnings: 1x2, background 3x4x5, 6x2, vague refs. to past 13x6 ~ yaoi ~ citrus ~ not a song fic, but there is a running theme ~ angst like you wouldn't believe ~ NCS, tho, oddly enough, this isn't the cause of the angst ~ suicidal tendencies ~ self mutilation ~ mental illness ~ violence ~ betrayal ~ my god, love so fierce and so dependent that it's just a hop, skip and a jump to hate ~ slightly *cough* unstable, kick-ass Duo ~ action ~ post war Preventer-ness ~ the mother of all revenge stories ~ not a happy 1x2 fic in any way, shape, or form ~ yes, I am in love...

[ added 19 sept 03 ]

Sunrise by Kay Zozma @ Thistlerose's Fan Fiction
We all know my feelings on 3x4/4x3 by now, I take it. So it comes as no surprise that when I come across one I do like (a lot, I might add), it'd be up on this list so fast it'd make your head spin. ^_^ That's the case with this fic, which is such a readable 4x3 that it's almost a crime. *sappy grin* I think what turns me off about most 3x4 fics is their representation of Quatre and Trowa as stock characters -- you know... take one sensitive, delicate boy with blue eyes, add in his quiet, nondescript green-eyed counterpart, and stir. >_< What makes this fic so good is that Quatre and Trowa come off as real characters. Without saying much about either of them, Kay san nevertheless paints a picture of what I imagine they would really be like. That's just downright cool. ^_~ This fic covers the first meeting of the 2 pilots through the eyes of a loyal Maguanac. That in itself is unusual, and it lends a touching quality to the story that can't really be put into words, as should be obvious by how I'm stumbling over myself here. Heh, heh. By the end of this fic, I had one of those idiotic grins plastered on my face cuz it's just so damn sweet. That, in itself, should be enough incentive for you to get your butt over there and read it. ^_^
warnings: shounen ai ~ brilliant, idiotic-grin-inducing sap ^_^
[ added 28 nov 01 ]

Taken by trowacko @ trowacko's asylum
5x1... I know, I know -- it's usually not my cup of tea, either. As far as pairings go, Heero and Wufei are a bit too much alike for me to see them as a couple. But take away the romance, the pet names, and the cuddling (and if any of you can picture any of that between Heero and Wufei, you've got one up on me), and suddenly it's not so far fetched. This fic takes a moment between the two g-boys and grounds it down into a violent act of need and desire that is nothing less than brilliant.
warnings: yaoi ~ violent, but not NCS, lemon ~ a thinking man's PWP
[ added 15 dec 01 ]

That Which is Not His by Ponderosa (6 chapters + epilogue) @ Destiny Interrupted
In the gw world, fanfics are quite literally a dime a dozen. All you have to do is take one trip to the dreaded, yet necessary, evil of ff.net and look at the sheer numbers of gw fanfics there to realize that you have no hope of denying this as absolute truth. And a heck of a lot of those fics are good, where 'good' is defined as you not having felt as if you've thoroughly wasted you're time by reading them. ^_~ As much as I love gw in general, and as much as I enjoy giving in to my obsession on a daily basis, it's when I come across a fic like this that I begin to comprehend the vague glimmer of the mystery that is my gw adoration. When Pond first posted this to the ml's, I didn't know what to expect. I usually can get at least a hint of what's to follow from a title, but this time... nothing. But it was Pond, for chrissakes, and as she happens to be on my exclusive list of authors whom I always have faith in, I didn't hesitate to read it. Sure, we've all read those 'finding each other' fics. Heero and Duo have 'found' each other so often and in so many different circumstances that they might as well be joined at the hip to begin with. Reading this fic, though... it's like a breath of fresh air. Instead of reliving what we have experienced so many times through the eyes of so very many talented authors, it's as if we ourselves are falling, for the first time...
warnings: yaoi ~ 1+2, 2+1 ~ canon ~TWT ~ tension of the I'm-attracted-to-my-partner-when-I-really-shouldn't-be-seeing-as-it's-the-middle-of-a-war-and-all kind *grin* ~ sap that's, somehow, brilliantly unsappy
[ added 15 apr 02 ]

They Call Me A Wanderer by various (but it's under Babaca's GW fanfics -- ongoing) @ GWA
You know, sometimes you just feel the need for some innocent fun. Some innocent, sweet, heavenly... erotic, lemon-y fun. *laugh* At least, I know I am. Angst is all well and good, and we all know I thrive on the stuff despite my delicate nature, but there comes a moment when you just want to laugh and croon and swoon and moan and... well, you get my point. ^_~ So when you stumble across a fic like this, a round robin no less, you know that you've hit the proverbial jackpot. Life suddenly seems that much brighter, the birds sing that much sweeter, and you get to smile with your whole heart no matter what RL happens to be throwing at you at the time. And if that isn't something to be treasured, I don't know what is. So sit back, relax, and let yourself be transported by a story of a beautiful mortal and a gaggle of horny seraphim in what can only be described as a long ride to heaven. *grin*
warnings: yaoi ~ starts off 1+3 and sort of takes off from there ( ^_~ ) ~ lemons ~ AU ~ silliness ~ heavenly hosts *growl*
[ added 13 feb 02 ]

Time by Kuwabara no Miko (loooong one-shot) @ GWA
Wufei and Duo end up spending some quality time together after Duo's attempt to self-destruct, and then we have the whole wonderful one thing leading to another bit. After all, who can resist the patented Maxwell charm? Or Wufei charm, for that matter? *grin* Gives us a keen insight into Duo, from Wufei's perspective, as well as a view into what makes Wufei tick. Another rather unfeeling Heero, just to warn you.
warnings: yaoi ~ 5+2, eventual 2x5x2, ref. to past (somewhat abusive) 1x2, background 3x4 ~ lime / lemon ~ bit o' angst ~ sap til you cry *sniffle* ~ TWT
[ note: despite this rather short and shallow rec >_< , this is actually my all time favourite 2x5x2 ]

Two Words by DC Logan @ Maxwell's Salvage
I read this 1x2x1 fic at a time when I thought there was no chance in a Backstreet Boys hell that I could ever write a fic for Sharona san's first ever Moments of Rapture contest (for which this fic was written). Little did I know how wrong I was. ^_~ I have to say, though, that this fic really inspired me. I read it and thought, 'that's damn good. There's no way I could top that'. The whole idea of the relationship between Heero and Duo being as volatile as it is romantic just floored me, I swear. It still does. This one has been sitting in my mailbox since it was written over a month ago, so I figured it was about time I just went and recommended it already. After all, if you hadn't guessed by now, the whole reason behind this whole rec page is so I don't forget what I really like. *grin*
warnings: yaoi ~ mild language ~ sap-ness ~ mind blowing lime-ness ^_~
[ added 07 dec 01 ]

The Ultimate Sacrifice by Karen (prologue + 13 parts + epilogue) @ Sanctuary
*sniffle* This is not exactly a new story, but then they say nothing ever is. They say that it's all been said and there isn't an original tale left to be told. I don't know -- maybe they're right, but what matters is the telling itself. We've all read fics where Duo is so full of self-loathing that he believes Heero will be better off without him. Despite Duo's eager and happy façade, it is somehow never ironic that he might be the one in the most pain. But Karen sama... she infuses the old story with a depth of emotion and feeling that is, after all, what makes the difference and brings tears to your eyes, even though you've read it all before. The strength and naturalness of her writing make this a fic that not only is touching and sincere, but beautiful as well. *sniffles again*
warnings: yaoi ~ 1x2x1, R+1 ~ lemon ~ angst ~ nice Relena ~ sap ~ changing POV's
[ added 01 jan 02 ]

United Hearts by Shenlong (aka Deb -- 36 parts + epilogue) @ Deb's Dragon
[ note: this fic is set after 'Lost Souls', but it is not necessary to have read it to enjoy 'United
Hearts' ]
Tell the truth -- you have a favourite pairing. Hell, we all do. Nothing to be ashamed of, but it's a fact nonetheless. [ another blanket statement. I think I'm getting attached to them. ^_~ ] Since I don't want to turn this into diatribe on the merits of all the possible gw pairings, I'll just narrow it down to the two that most of us are drawn to -- 1x2 and 3x4. [ get that look off your face. I know there are those of you have fav parings that are alternate, but I'm making a point here. ] In most cases, fics are geared towards those pairings, specifically. Sure, the other pair might show up in the fic, maybe even play an integral part in it, but often enough when the pairings are listed it isn't all that difficult to decide which one should go first. 'United Hearts', however, makes that a bit of a problem, being neither a 1x2 fic nor dedicated to 3x4. This fic is certainly not the only one to go beyond the pale, but rarely have I read a fic wherein the pairings are so balanced, where there is so much deeply rooted and realistic love and affection between partners, where the fact that they are together seems less like something that should be and more like something that is. In the continuing shock of all this in character rightness, it's almost hard to believe that it's all set within a plot that quite literally keep you on the edge of your seat and which is so well thought out that you never find yourself doubting. What a rush, ne? In the aftermath of 'Lost Souls', none of the pilots has remained unaffected. The addition to their lives of the children rescued from L2 has made them all parents and, more than that, made them all families. But just as you can never go home again, so you can never truly leave your home behind. A diabolical plot rears its head through the discovery of a trail of dead children on L2. While the Preventers race to the scene, events are in motion which threaten not only L2, but the precarious and hard-won peace they have all paid for so dearly... [ look! look! I mentioned the plot! mark this day down on your calendars, boys and girls. who knows when it will happen again. *laugh* ]
warnings: 1x2 (which I'm placing first only cuz *ahem* I'm a Duo-fanatic), 3x4, 5xS ~ yaoi / het ~ lemons ~ true love (awwwww!!) ~ violence ~ death (not of the major characters, though) ~ mystery ~ L2-ness ~ OC's (these would be the 'children rescued from L2')~ L2 accents (which, I swear, grow on you like nobody's business *grin*)
[ added 13 sept 02 ]

Urchin by Banshi (19 parts + epilogue) @ ff.net
As much as I love 1x2, let's face it -- alternate pairings are dang fun. While Heero and Duo's relationship ofttimes seems all but inevitable, it's always like magic when Duo ends up with someone else. However, unlike the sleight of hand of, say, a David Blaine *grimace*, the real magic behind a good AP fic is that it is all explained. Even if you couldn't ever see anything going on between Duo and Trowa in the series (and if you did see something, what weird world are you living in? *grin*), at every step along the path to their ultimate connection you're there -- understanding, seeing, and, at last, accepting that these two really good fall in love. Place all of this against a backdrop of war-mongering fools and a childhood that could never really be forgotten, and what you end up with is a story of two souls not only finding each other, but finding their way...
warnings: 2+3, 3+2, vaguely implied 1xR ~ yaoi ~ post EW ~ Duo angst ~ Trowa confusion ~ bad men dirtying Duo's good name ~ action ~ L2-ness ~ urchins ^_~
[ added 03 jun 02 ]

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