Warnings And Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, and anyone who reads
this should be aware of that fact at all times.
+ Chapter Fifteen
"There is fiction in the
space between, the lines on a page, and memories. Write it down but it
doesn't mean, you're not just telling stories."
- Tracy Chapman, Telling Stories
The morning sunlight crept across the bed, naked bodies, and disheveled
covers. Slowly, it warmed the chilled room, bringing with it the smell
of fresh grass and growing things. The rain had fled, and the sky was
crystal clear outside the window, streams of blue and gold flooding the
room with gradual warmth. Duo smiled to himself and rubbed against the
warm backside nestled in front of him.
The low growl of his stomach knocked him out of his lethargic thoughts,
bringing to his attention the fact that he hadn't had dinner the night
before, and breakfast was somewhere downstairs with his name on it. He
gave Heero's neck a soft kiss and rolled off the bed. He loved the fact
that he could do that with this bed; it was just the right height to fall
off of and have a good time doing so. He grinned from his seat on the
floor, glancing about for his discarded clothes. Pulling on the shorts
he'd borrowed the day before, he stood and gave Heero's sleeping form
a last, long look before turning and heading downstairs.
Zero bumped against his legs as soon as he entered the kitchen, looking
for a hand out of some sort, perhaps even a scratch behind his ears or
a thump above his tail. Duo obliged the dog on all these things, finding
the dog food, filling the water dish, and then proceeding to pet him into
He had just managed to figure out how to use the strange coffee maker,
when Heero finally came downstairs sleepily rubbing his hair, a pair of
loose cut-offs falling low on his hips. He smiled at the boy with the
messy braid, who was bent over the counter, coffee mug in hand, head tilted
to one side, eyeing the coffee maker suspiciously.
"I think it will work without watching it."
Duo glanced up and smiled. "Possibly, though a few minutes ago it seemed
to be done." He looked at the machine once more, brow furrowed. "Then
it started to perk again. I think."
"It's done, see how the coffee is a little bit visible up here?" Heero
ambled over to stand beside him and tapped the top of the pot where a
small glass bubble showed some of the dark brew. Then grinning, he turned
and snatched Duo up in a hug, sliding their bodies together, backing the
other boy up against the counter. "Have I said good morning yet?" He asked
in a soft growl, eyes bright with the sunlight streaming in through the
"I don't remember you saying goodnight." Duo responded, nuzzling against
him and wondering if perhaps breakfast could wait.
"Funny, I don't recall you saying goodnight either." Heero admired the
bright blush that crept up Duo's neck, into his ears and then across his
cheeks. Then his face grew serious, and he paused to run his hands down
the bare back beneath his hands, sighing. "I have bad news."
"Do I want to know?" Duo snuggled against him further, nestling his head
against one golden shoulder.
"I have an essay due tomorrow. I've got to finish writing it, so I won't
be able to spend time with you today until it's done. I've already put
it off too long." Heero's tone was apologetic, but his hands were decidedly
not at all sorry, and started roaming downward, tugging Duo closer until
their bodies seemed to melt together from chest to thigh. "But, I think
we can manage to squeeze in a little breakfast before I start." He grinned
wickedly and nibbled on an ear, swaying them closer to the refrigerator.
"Let's see what might be good to eat."
He backed Duo up against the counter next to the fridge, opening the door
with one hand, and peering over a bare shoulder. "Hmm, I think perhaps
a little fruit." He took out a bunch of grapes and shut the door again,
pulling away from Duo to dangle the glistening fruit enticingly between
Duo glanced down at the grapes that hung in front of his waist, then grinning,
slithered to the floor, landing on his knees, mouth poised before them.
He looked up, noting that the normally dusky blue eyes were almost a bright
cobalt in the sunlight filtering though the kitchen. He also observed
the lust behind them; the barely restrained heat, and he felt a shiver
go down his spine as he continued to gaze upwards. Then his eyes slid
halfway shut and he carefully took a grape in his mouth, white teeth delicately
biting off the hanging fruit, nibbling and swallowing before taking another
one. Heero didn't notice how busy Duo's hands were in the distraction
of watching, until he realized that his shorts were down around his ankles.
Duo took the bunch of grapes and laid them on the counter, looking up
through sooty lashes and amethyst jewels for eyes. "I think I found something
I want for breakfast more than grapes." He said, licking his lips before
Heero could only nod, his knees threatening to buckle as the hot mouth
enclosed him. "Mmm...Duo...where did you..uunnhh...get so good...good
at this?" He blindly put a hand out in search of something to hold onto.
Duo slid his mouth slowly up, and with a soft popping sound released his
newfound prize. "I have an addiction to popsicles."
"An addiction to Ahhh!" This time Heero's knees did buckle and he collapsed
to the floor, Duo following him all the way down.
"Pop-si-cles" Duo said, emphasizing each syllable with a lick. "Though,"
he paused, fingers playing along Heero's length. "This isn't as cold as
one, but it does seem to have a few similarities."
Heero groaned, eyes closing in bliss, spreading his legs further, arching
against the floor. The thought of Duo having never done this to anyone
but him, nearly made him lose it right then and there. His hands slid
across the floor, clawing at the tile, as the tide coursing through his
body grew more extreme with each contact of that mouth against his aching
flesh. He almost felt like crying when Duo stopped suddenly, glancing
up, grinning, one hand still stroking.
"Funny, the popsicles never moan like you do."
The porch was finally done. Duo slowly walked down the back steps, then
turned to admire the culmination of several weeks and months worth of
work and planning. Stars littered the midnight walls; reflecting in a
perfectly painted night drenched ocean, waves seemingly washing at the
back door. He grinned, flicking the paintbrush, sending spatters of glowing
white onto the lawn.
It was done. He wondered what Heero would think of it. Did it still look
like his dream? Well, in a few hours he would find out. Duo went to get
the paint remover and hose, humming softly to himself. The sun had nearly
set by the time he was done cleaning up. Milliard was already preparing
dinner, Treize supposedly helping. Though, the ginger haired man's help
usually consisted of planting himself on a stool and watching Mil cook.
Duo went around to the front of the house, wiping his hands on his jeans
and smearing paint across them. He made a face and took a corner of his
t-shirt to open the door with. Kicking off his shoes, he made his way
to the bright kitchen, inhaling the aroma of food cooking.
"All done?" Treize asked, glancing up from a small mountain of potatoes,
peeler in hand.
"Yup, it's finally done. What's for dinner? I'm starving." Duo walked
over and bent down to peer into the oven, his jaw dropped slightly and
he turned to Milliard with wide eyes and a large beatific smile. "You
must love me. I see roast."
"This has nothing to do with love for you bro, and everything to do with
promises extracted from certain split browed devils I could name." He
idly slapped Duo's hand as the boy tried to sneak a greenbean away from
the pile sitting beside the sink.
"Ouch!" Duo gave him a hurt looking, clutching at his hand.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to French cut these babies?"
Treize exchanged a glance with Duo. "You know it's serious when he starts
referring to the food as babies. Want some raw potato instead?" He held
up one of the white tubers, waving it enticingly.
"Yeah right. I think I'll go shower instead."
"Heero coming for dinner?" Milliard asked, turning back to his beans and
checking the timer on the oven.
"No, I don't think so. He had to write an essay that's due tomorrow, though
he did say he would try to come over when he was done." Duo shrugged,
frowning down at his socks. "How long till dinner's ready?" He asked,
heading for the door.
"Forty-five minutes or so. Treize! Stop trying to peel that potato into
a toothpick or I'll be forced to..."
Duo grinned, Mil's threat lost as he pounded up the stairs.
"Mil, if we weren't related, I'd marry you."
Milliard rolled his eyes, "Treize, we're not related, and why would I
want to marry some lowly inventor like you? Besides, you just want me
for my cooking abilities."
"No really, it's not just the food I swear! Oh Duo, could you pass those
potatoes? It's your, mmm, the beans too please? It's your lovely personality
Mil, honest. Is there more gravy? Wonderful. It's your uh...There is more
roast? Oh good, pass some over?" Treize glanced up from his plate, laughter
brimming in his eyes. "Really Mil, you know it's not just your cooking
I love about you." He tried to look sincere, lifting a forkful of mashed
potatoes dripping with gravy to his mouth.
"Oh?" Mil raised an eyebrow, leaning forward in his chair.
"Yes, I also love those sexy little noises you make when I..."
"Treize! Duo stop snickering!" The blonde man started to blush, eyeing
his lover across the table. "You are in so much trouble tonight, you have
Treize grinned. "Who says I wasn't looking for trouble?"
Duo had just opened his mouth with the full intention of earning himself
at least a week worth of dish duty and hauling the garbage to the corner
at 6am twice a week for a month, when there was a knock on the front door.
They glanced at each other for a moment, as if asking whom it could be.
Duo finally stood up, and with a curious expression went to answer it.
As he approached the front of the house, he could just make out a familiar
voice speaking in low tones on the porch. A grin spread across his face,
and flinging open the door, he pounced on the woman standing on the other
"Aunt Sasha!" Arms that he felt around him whenever he was low, arms he'd
always go to for comfort, and finally they were around him again. He clung
to his aunt, barely noticing the pounding of feet as Mil and Treize ran
to the front porch.
Within in minutes all three boys had their arms firmly wrapped around
Sasha and Stefan, laughter bubbling up from the group. Sasha at last managed
to extricate herself from the tangle of men and beamed at them all. "I
brought back a few surprises from my travels. One of them I think you
will all enjoy immensely. We can't keep him, but we get to take care of
him for a while." She turned and gestured to a figure standing at the
foot of the stairs.
Light glinted off hair as blond as Milliard's, and a pale complexion turned
rosy as all eyes fixed on the newcomer. Large aquamarine eyes blinked
in the light of the porch as the boy came forward and stood beside Sasha.
She reached out and snagged his arm, dragging him closer and standing
him in front of herself. "This is Quatre Raberba Winner. I promised his
parents I would show him a taste of America. He's never been here before,
and they thought it would be good for him to gain new experiences abroad.
Though, " She paused and tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I did try to explain
to them that Retrind is not an abroad kind of place. But they just wouldn't
listen. So, he'll be staying with us for a while, I was thinking the attic
room would be good." She nodded to herself and glanced around at the three
boys, who still hadn't said a word. Quatre stared at his shoes, fingers
twisting in his shirt.
Duo moved until he stood directly in front of the boy, then stuck out
his hand with a nervous little laugh. "I'm Duo. Pleased to meet you err...your
Quatre blushed even brighter and looked up. "Quatre, just Quatre. Though
your aunt has taken to calling me..." He glanced at her questioningly.
"Kat, it's much easier than that mouthful you call a name." She beamed
at him, and then motioned to Milliard and Treize who stood to one side.
"This is Treize and Mil. But I'm sure you recognize everyone from their
Quatre nodded and then smiled and took Duo's hand, shaking it firmly.
"Yes, I remember who they are." He looked Duo in the eyes. "And it's nice
to meet you too Duo."
"But Aunt Sasha I don't understand." Duo stood in the center of the living
room holding out a large voluminous robe and a strange hat.
"Well, when we went to Turkey with Quatre on our way home, we discovered
you can buy the costume of the whirling dervish. Quatre explained all
about it and I thought it might interest you. He also said that he would
explain it to you and show you how to go into the trance." She smiled
and patted Stefan's hand as they sat together on the love seat. On the
couch to the right of them sat the other three, watching Duo examine the
"I can show you how to put that on as well, and I brought a cd of the
music that can usually be heard at the festival." The blonde boy stood
up and tentatively took a step towards Duo, gesturing towards the costume
and smiling shyly.
"Ok." Duo grabbed his hand and started tugging him up the stairs. "Show
me now, I've heard about the dervishes, but I don't know much about them.
What exactly is the trance?"
Quatre followed him, trying not to trip as Duo skipped steps. "Well, it's
very fascinating. "In the thirteenth century Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi,
a great philosopher, founded the ritual of the Mevlevi sect, known as
the sema. The Dervish is a serious religious ritual performed by Muslim
priests in a prayer trance to Allah." He paused as they entered Duo's
room, glancing at the various drawings pinned to the wall, and admiring
the large painting on the ceiling. "Is that an Escher?"
"Yeah, I like his style. So tell me more about these Dervishes...Mevlevi?"
Quatre nodded and began spreading out the robe on the bed. "Well, in the
Middle East it is believed that the Mevlevi is in prayer and that his
body becomes open to receive the energy of God. Dervish literally means
"doorway" and is thought to be an entrance from this material world to
the spiritual, heavenly world." He turned his back as Duo started stripping
off his t-shirt. "Rumi and his followers integrated music into their rituals
as an article of faith. In his verses, Rumi emphasized that music uplifts
our spirit to realms above, and we hear the tunes of the Gates of Paradise."
"So it's religious then?" Duo pulled the robe over his head, then realized
he would have to unbutton it first, and tried to tug it back off. "Uh,
I think I'm stuck. Could you give me a hand?"
"Sure." Quatre unbuttoned the top few buttons and helped slide the garment
down. "And yes, it's religious. The music I brought with me is some of
the music they play at the festival in December. My parents let me go
every year with my older brothers. I've even learned the dance, though
I can't say I've ever gone into a trance. I've only gotten extremely dizzy.
There, that should do it; I think you can get the hat on yourself. There's
a strap to hold it in place." He straightened a few folds in the robe
and stood back. "I brought my own robes with me, I'll run upstairs and
get them on."
Duo grinned at him, swaying from side to side, sending the wide skirt
of the robe billowing out. "Sure thing, meet me downstairs, I'll bring
my cd player."
"Ok, show me that hand thing again." Duo wiggled his fingers.
"Hold your elbows up, like this." Quatre demonstrated, waiting until Duo
was in the right stance. "Ok, start with your right foot and spin." He
watched as the wide skirt began to revolve out in a large circle. It never
ceased to mesmerize him no matter how many times he'd seen it before.
"I'll get the music. Keep practicing."
The CD player sat on the bottom step of the back porch. Moonlight lit
the yard, the sky blue velvet and filled with stars. Duo kept twirling
in place, concentrating on keeping his feet moving without tripping within
the voluminous robe. The music filtered through the night air, dominated
by the haunting sound of reed pipes and drums. Quatre smiled, eyes on
the stars, and then went to stand beside Duo, barefoot on the lawn.
"There's a chant that goes with this." He said quietly, starting to slowly
spin in place. Duo kept up his rotations and they both stared above at
the sky stretching into infinity. "It goes something like. ŽA secret turning
in us makes the universe turn. Head unaware of feet, and feet head. Neither
cares. They keep turning.' You sort of chant it along with the beat of
the drums while spinning in tune with it all and turning your arms and
hands like I showed you." They whirled for a moment, two pale faces amidst
robes of darkness, the night sky embracing them.
"It's like we're spinning in space." Duo whispered.
"Who's to say we aren't?"
The world seemed to leave the bottom of Duo's feet as he whirled in ever
increasing speed, and for a brief moment, he felt as if he were flying.
Then his knee caught in a fold of his robes and he went rolling down the
lawn spilling into Quatre and sending them both tumbling down the steep
Duo landed in a heap and half on top of Quatre. They lay there groaning
for a minute, the music still playing up the hill.
"Those stars," Duo pointed a shaky finger upwards. "Those are supposed
to be there, right?"
Quatre groaned and tried to sit up. "I think so, but what about those
ones?" He pointed towards the bay, and then collapsed back onto the grass.
"I think I'm going to be sick." Duo said morosely, rolling onto his stomach
"Next time, let's not do this on a hill?" Quatre started to laugh.
"Gotcha." Duo rolled onto the grass staring up into the night sky, laughing
at the watching moon.
Heero turned from the window; in his mind, he could still see the two
figures at the bottom of the hill. He'd watched as they'd come out of
the house, chuckled as Duo practiced the dance.
Heero knew of the dance and it's purpose, and briefly, he'd wondered if
there was a place he hadn't visited before. Then the music had begun and
his attention had been glued to the figure with the long braid spinning
in the moonlight, an angel in the dark.
When they'd fallen down the hill, he'd barely constrained the urge to
rush over and make sure Duo was all right. But the laughter that had drifted
up the hill towards him, that pure laughter, had frozen his feet to the
floor. He realized then what it was that bothered him, why he still felt
so confused. He glanced out the window again, watching as the two boys
tottered to their feet and started back up the hill.
He could never give Duo what that boy just had. He'd never have that innocence
again, if he'd ever had it to begin with. Heero leaned his head against
the wall, insight hammering into his mind like an iron fist. "Hell Duo,"
he whispered to the dark kitchen. "I can't give you want you need, all
I can do is love you." He sank down to the floor, closing his eyes.
It would never be enough. How could his love possibly be enough for someone
like Duo? "I'm so dead inside." He clutched his head, folding his arms
over his knees. "I can't ask you to try and make me alive again. You need
someone like that guy. Someone like you." I'm not enough. He shook his
head, trying not to feel the sudden pain in his chest. Depression settled
over him like a mantle, shielding him. Duo needed someone cheerful, someone
outgoing, someone who he could have fun with, play with, laugh with. Heero
knew that someone couldn't be him; he just didn't have it in him to be
He stood up, feeling the coldness descend upon his mind as if it had never
left. He shoved his emotions back into the blackness again, closing his
heart and locking it once more. "It's better this way." For you and me.
14] [chap. 16] [back
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