Author: ClarySage
Warnings and Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, and if you thought I did, you were sorely mistaken.
This Fic Contains: Yaoi, 1x2/2x1, humor?, rated: R?, possible lemon in the next part, brief mentions of other pilots, cognizant household appliances, foods, and the house itself, and several twisty plot designs intended to make you wonder what the heck is going to happen, although you always know it will probably just be sex... again... oh gee, darn huh?

Popcorn + Part 1

The overwhelming smell of hot fresh popped corn filtered through the kitchen. It inched its way slowly up the stairs and drifted down the hallway. Without even knocking, for it was not a polite sort of smell, it barged right into a small bedroom. It sifted slowly over the two beds and eventually flew right up the nose of a certain boy, who had been trying to write up a mission report.

Heero paused and sniffed cautiously at the air. It smelled, well, it smelled like something he had never smelled before. Hot and tantalizing, and everything all warm and salty. He leisurely got up from his chair and made his way out the door and down the stairs towards that elusive odor. Slowing as he approached the kitchen, he could hear someone singing quietly just behind the door. Opening it a crack he peered in, and then quickly pulled his head back as the smell leaped out at him tackling his nostrils once again.

But of course it was too late, he was hooked. Without even a second thought he pushed the door open and walked into the enticing aroma. He just stood there, his hands hanging loosely at his side, face in its perpetual mask. Duo stood across from him, back turned and hips swaying slightly. Apparently he was still unaware of the sudden danger that had just entered the room.

Heero was absolutely confounded for a moment; all that he could see in the kitchen was Duo and some sort of strange pot standing on the counter. The pot was at this moment making odd little popping noises and occasionally hissing. Still singing softly, Duo raised the lid, peered in and then quickly slammed the lid back on the pot.

Sneaking up behind the distracted braided boy, Heero peered over Duo's shoulder at the bizarre popping pot. The lid was clear and yellow, and just visible under it were fluffy white pieces of something furiously banging around inside the pot.

"What is that?" Startled by the sudden question directed at him from what, just a few moments ago had been an empty kitchen, Duo nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Heero! Geeze, could you maybe announce yourself next time or something?" Slim arms crossed and a mock glare tried to attack Heero by leaping out of Duo's eyes. But it failed, miserably; glaring just didn't belong on the braided boys face, at least not right now, when popcorn smell was drifting into everyone's noses.

A smile replaced what tried to be a frown, and Duo turned and grinned down at the popping pot.

"It's popcorn, haven't you ever tried it before?"

Heero, who was an expert when it came to all kinds of frowns and glares did both, and aimed them at the pot sitting on the counter.


"Really? Wow. Ok, well as soon as this is done you're going to have to try it!" With an extremely large and beatific smile, Duo slid across the kitchen floor in his sock clad feet and whipped open the refrigerator door.

"I just need to melt the butter."


"Uh huh, it makes it all that much better." With a wink and a grin, and his braid whirling behind him, Duo grabbed a stick of butter and a small bowl. Quickly the butter was set inside the bowl and the microwave melted it within seconds.

The microwave was wondering why the idiot with the braid didn't just make popcorn like everyone else in the world did. By buying one of those neat little packets, ripping off the plastic protection and throwing it into it. It also proudly admitted it would only take minutes to cook the popcorn, and butter was already included. But Duo did not listen to the ramblings of kitchen appliances, let alone was he able to actually hear them talking, so he quite rightly ignored the snotty microwave and did it all His way.

Butter melted into a yellow mass of liquid, and happy thoughts of popcorn ran through its mind. For just as the microwave could talk, the butter could long for things, and it desperately longed to be drizzled over objects and food in its sexual liquid state. Butter was a horny little hentai.

Luckily Duo and Heero had no clue that everything around them was alive in its very own special way, or the following events probably would have never occurred.

With a bright and sunny expression, the braided boy turned off the popper and waited for all the white fluffy pieces to calm the hell down. It took a few seconds, popcorn gets rather excited when it gets dumped into oil and then heated up slowly, it too was a little hentai. In point of fact the entire damned house was a little hentai, it tended to groan loudly when the wind blew it.

But ignoring all this, as they rightly should, not being able to hear or see a bit of it, the boys continued making popcorn. Actually, Heero watched, and Duo made, but that's just splitting hairs.

Careful not to burn himself, Duo dumped the popcorn into a large bowl and liberally poured melted butter all over it, both butter and popcorn nearly orgasming from the contact. Heero had his arms crossed and watched the entire proceedings, his eyes shifting to follow as Duo slid across the floor again and retrieved the saltshaker. Spinning around and sliding back to the counter again, the braided pilot sprinkled salt on the ecstatic popcorn and butter, all three entities going bananas together, moaning loudly.

Taking a piece of the completely voluptuous popcorn between his fingers, Duo turned and looked at the silent Heero Yuy, who in turn stood and looked at the grinning boy.

"Try it." And with that, Duo popped the piece of fluffy off-white stuff into Heero's semi open mouth, and stood back. The blue-eyed pilot chewed contemplatively for a moment, rolling the flavors around in his mouth, tasting the mixture, weighing the pros and cons. It took a few minutes as you can gather; Heero really liked to think things through.

With a brief, but lesser glare, the wing pilot helped himself to a handful of the popcorn and shoved it into his mouth. Duo stared in utter amazement for about five seconds and then grabbed his own handful and mimicked the happily chewing boy. Their eyes met briefly, and perhaps the aura of hentai that the three entities known as butter, popcorn, and salt exuded had some effect on the two boys. Because without missing a beat Duo turned and slid towards the refrigerator, again.

"Drink?" He threw over his shoulder.

"Yeah." Heero caught the question and threw back his reply.

And Duo quickly returned to the counter with some sort of drink, it turned out to be a soda for each of them. Though what soda it was, was completely unknown as someone had gone and carefully covered the cans in black electric tape.

Heero raised an eyebrow at the rather odd can, but opened it never the less and took a large swallow.

"Root beer," he managed to gasp out, then burped loudly.

Duo opened his own can, and carefully took a sip.

"Cream soda, you know we really need to stop letting Quatre pick the type of soda we have in this place."

Heero nodded his agreement and reached for some more popcorn, leaning against the counter and idly staring at his soda can in its tape.

"Why did he dress it up?"

"The can? I'm not sure... I think I heard him say something to Trowa about giving us a few more surprises in life." Duo shook his head and glanced at his own can. "But how this could be considered any sort of surprise when we all know what Quatre buys for soda..."

"Duo?" Heero turned and stared at the braided pilot.


The Japanese boy fixed his gaze on what was left of the melted butter, and then he raised his eyes to Duo's questioning own.

"Are you going to be using the rest of that," he pointed a finger, "for anything?"

Thoroughly bemused, Duo shook his head no, and watched in fascination as Heero picked up the bowl of melted butter, his eyes taking on a strange light.

[part 2] [back to Clary Sage's fic]