Christmas, Aoe!! Here, for your very much present-fulfillment, is my first
ever 2+1. Not a hint of Trowa in the whole thing. It's pure Duo/Heero.
Damn. He does this to me on
purpose. I know he does. He's always liked fucking with me, sticking
me with these little situations that I have to deal with, that I can't
prove he arranged to make my life hell.
I don't need proof this time. Next time I see him I'm going to punch the
old bastard right in that over-sized schnoz of his. I swear I am.
I cannot stand one more freaking boarding school rooming assignment with
Heero Yuy. I can't. I can't go another day much less weeks sharing
a room with him. Watching him study, dress…sleep…undress…hearing him breathe
bare feet away from me…knowing he's there…all warm and flushed with sleep…knowing
that if I just crossed the few feet separating us I could touch him…could
run my hands over him and…
Jesus tap-dancing Christ. I'll get you, G. I swear to God, I'll get you
for this one.
If a boy had a chance,
a chance with someone like you
Sometimes, it's wonderful. Sometimes he listens to me while I talk; sometimes
he even looks at me, like he gives a crap about whatever drivel I'm blabbing
Sometimes he talks back to me. Ok, so it's usually about homework or missions,
but it's conversation.
Last night, in the dark after lights out, he started a conversation. We
talked about flying. He told me that when he flies he feels free. I feel
the same way, and told him. Told him that when I was flying, I felt like
I could make a difference, that I wasn't stuck, trapped, in the rut the
world's become. I told him I understood.
He was quiet for a minute, then he said, "Yeah. I thought you might."
That was wonderful. I thought, just for that minute, that maybe…maybe
we could be maybe we were friends.
Are you gonna break his
heart, let him cry for the moon
Then, this morning, it was
back to normal. I suggested that we go hang out, shoot some hoops. So
now he's glaring at me and telling me about how hopeless I am.
"…major project is due on Friday."
"Come on, Heero. It's just homework. There's plenty of time to…"
"I have work to accomplish."
"Do you ever not have work to accomplish, Yuy?"
Whoops. That was out loud.
He's glaring at me, his fist clenched. My, someone woke up on the wrong
side of the bed this morning.
"Unlike you, Maxwell, I pay attention to the mission. I don't have time
to waste with you…"
Time to waste with me.
Why don't you just punch me? It probably wouldn't hurt as much.
"Ok, ok. Message received. I'll stop bugging you." I turn on my side on
my bed, grabbing some book I don't even know which it is to stare
at while I try to compose myself. Why should I care what he says? He's
probably not even trying to be insulting that's just the way he is.
I thought maybe we were becoming friends.
I guess not.
Are you hiding
somewhere behind those eyes?
"Yeah?" I reply, not turning around. I page through the book it's Earth
History. Bad choice I already read nine chapters ahead. Ho hum. Going
for ten, I guess.
He doesn't answer. I sigh loudly, and turn my head to look at him.
He's staring at me. I start, physically jolted by the expression in his
eyes. He looks…lost. Heero's never at a loss for anything, but now…
He jerks his head away, staring at his computer.
"Sorry," he mutters, staring at the screen.
Well, I'll be damned.
The phone rings. It must be Satan, calling to inform us that Hell has
He picks it up, turning his back on me, and speaks in a flat voice to
the person on the other end. From his end of the conversation, I gather
it's one of the girls that follows him around, suggesting they form a
study group. He refuses in his usual curt fashion, hangs up, and studiously
ignores me as he begins to type.
Heero Yuy, man of control.
I don't know, though. Two glimpes in two days behind the Iron Curtain.
The game's afoot.
I just freeze everytime you see through me
"You're done, aren't you?"
I look up from the chapter I'm reading (eleven ahead and counting) and
frown up at him. "Huh?" I ask brilliantly.
"The project due Friday," he clarifies, gesturing at his computer screen.
"You're done with it already, aren't you?"
Shit! How'd he know that? "Uh…well…" Great job, Maxwell. You cover like
He turns and stares at me, his gaze piercing. All remnants of coherency
I might have been clinging to slip away. "How long did it take you to
finish?" he asks quietly.
"Uh….not too long," I manage weakly. I want to look away, but I can't.
"You give off the impression that you blow off your schoolwork, but you
don't," he notes. "I don't think you've ever missed an assignment in one
of our classes."
I'm speechless. Call the undertaker; I must be dead. How does he know
that? Why would he bother to notice a thing like that?
He frowns at me after a moment in which I can only stare at him. "Well?"
he barks. "Are you going to help me figure this out or are you going to
sit there looking stupid?" he demands, gesturing at the screen.
and it's all over you, electric
Not the most gracious appeal
for help I've ever heard, but I guess I do look kind of stupid, gawking
at him like that.
But it's his fault. What else am I supposed to do when he's staring at
me like that…when those gorgeous eyes are fixed on me…when he's talking
He knows…he knows something about me. Something that's not obvious.
He bothered to notice.
On my knees, help me baby,
"…not that big a deal, really,
Heero. The biggest part of it is determining what caused the behavior
of the people involved, and how to treat them. The rest is just writing
up the recommendation."
It's a psych. project. We have case studies of all these people, and you
have to figure out what disorder they have from the information in the
study, justify it, make a recommendation and write the whole thing up.
I kind of liked it. I liked reading the life stories of all these people,
reading about whatever they did that earned them a psychiatric evaluation,
and figuring out what was wrong with them and how they could be helped.
But Heero's treating it like it's nuclear physics.
"They just don't behave logically," he insists stubbornly.
"That's kind of the point, Hee-chan," I point out grinning at him. "It's
"For you, maybe," he interrupts.
"No, really, it's no big deal. You just…"
"It is, though," he interrupts. "It's just easy for you because you're
smarter than me."
I stare at him, gaping like a fish out of water again. Me, smarter than
Heero Yuy? Where in the hell would he get an idea like that? He's the
freaking genius. I'm just a gutter brat whose schooling began and ended
with the third grade.
He's staring at me again. With those eyes. God, Heero, help me out here…don't
do this if you don't…
tell me what can i do, electric blue.
"…one, maybe I can do the others."
"What…huh?" I guess he was talking. I didn't hear what he said. I was
too bowled over by the idea that Heero Yuy thinks I'm something other
than a total idiot.
He stares at me for a minute, and for just that minute, I see it…deep
in those eyes…
"I said, maybe if you showed me how to work out one, I could do the others."
"Oh. Sure. Yeah. Good plan."
Anything you want, Heero. Just…keep looking at me.
Oh I had a dream, For a
moment I believed it was true
I go through the list, explaining
the difference between an obsession and a compulsion, between depressive
and manic states, between a learning disability and a learning disorder…but
I don't hear what I'm saying.
That look…in those eyes…
It's gone now. It was probably never there.
It looked like…
Oh I'd have given anything
just to be there with you
Can't be. Can't possibly be.
I'm projecting. That's another thing I learned in psych.
He wants my help with this project. He doesn't want to jump my bones.
Damn, I'd do his homework for the rest of his life if he would.
Are you hiding somewhere
behind those eyes?
"Do you see now, Heero?"
He's silent. He's looking at me again, staring at me, not the computer
screen and the nice little data analysis table we just made up.
"Yeah," he says slowly, still staring at me. "I see."
Damn! What is he trying to do to me?
I just freeze everytime
you see through me
"I…uh…good. You think you can do the rest?" I stammer. I'm not winning
any prizes for eloquence here.
"Yes," he says flatly, turning away from me, staring back at the computer
"Ok, then." I wait for a moment, but he continues to stare at the screen.
He doesn't type or anything, he's just looking at it.
Not at me.
"Ok. Right. I'll just be…over here."
I turn away, and wander back toward my bed. I'm about to throw myself
back on top of the rumpled covers, when his voice stops me.
"How are you at Restoration Drama?"
and it's all over you, electric
Be careful what you ask for,
I guess. I was just sitting here drooling over him, thinking that I'd
do all his homework if he'd only pay attention to me…and now I've done
most of it.
Well, not done it. The perfect Heero Yuy would never let anyone else actually
do his homework. But he doesn't seem above having someone explain it all
I've spent the entire day on schoolwork, and it's not even my own schoolwork.
I even skipped lunch.
I should be pissed.
But as I watch him smirk at the computer screen as he types the last line
of his paper on Restoration Drama (Incidentally, what a stupid subject
to make people study. Who gives a crap about Restoration Drama? How is
this going to help us? Add it to the list of things to smack G for), I'm
Not mad at all.
In too deep, standing here
He sighs, signs off and decisively
closes the cover of his laptop.
Damn. It is a red-letter day. I don't think he's closed that damn
thing since we got to this school, three weeks ago.
He runs his hands through his already tousled hair and sighs again. He
twists his head, his fingers sliding down out of his hair down to his
neck, unconsciously massaging the tightness out of it.
I stare at him, watching his fingers move over the firm skin of his neck…and
my mouth dries out.
My hands tremble.
My…well, my ‘stomach' tightens. Or something.
He's not even fucking trying, and he's the most incredibly enticing thing
in the world.
He turns and looks up at me, tilting his head curiously when he sees me
staring down at him.
I probably have my mouth open.
I probably look like a moron.
But I can't help it. I can't move away. I can't stop staring at him.
as I'm breaking into, electric
He stares back up at me, and
his forehead draws together in a sort of frown, and I brace myself.
He's going to snap at me.
Yell at me.
Tell me to get out of his space.
And who can blame him? I'm standing here drooling down at him like some
kind of fool. I'd want me to go the hell away too, if I were him.
But what he does is so amazing, so incredible, so unexpected, that my
heart literally stops.
Just for a few seconds, of course. But it does.
He smiles up at me. "Thanks," he says simply, his eyes warm with…appreciation?
He's smiling at me, and he's grateful to me? All at the same time?
Better get back to a church. The Apocalypse is nigh, and I haven't been
to confession in seven years.
I can see, can see that it may be
just a vision of you, electric blue.
I can't stop staring at him.
He is so amazingly beautiful when he smiles.
He almost never does…can't blame him, really. In his worldview, there's
not much to smile about.
But he's smiling now.
And I can't stop staring at him.
On my knees, help
As I continue to stare at him, the smile fades.
Again, I'm not surprised. If I was staring at me like a fish out of water,
I'd wonder what the hell was going on, too.
Especially if I was staring at me. Quite a logistical feat, that would
Christ, Maxwell, get a grip!
I can't help it. Noone's ever affected me the way he does without even
I wish…I wish he'd give me some kind of sign. Some kind of hint.
Maybe a manual: "Approaching the Wild Yuy in Its Natural Environment."
tell me what can
I do, electric blue.
I don't even know for sure most of the time if he wants to talk to me,
or if he wants me to leave him the hell alone.
His smile disappears completely, and he turns away.
Well. I guess that answers my question.
We're done with his homework, so there's no more reason to talk to me.
I should be annoyed that he used me. That should really piss me off.
But I'm not. I mean, it's progress, right? At least he paid some bit of
attention to me.
Maybe he's warming to me. These things take time after all.
Come on, Heero, give me a break, man! Geez!