Bits o' lemony goodness
within!! Trowa-chan on the sexpath. God, that was corny. Woo hoo!
Know Who I Want... + Part 12
I surge through
the front door of our apartment and make a beeline for the living room.
Without even turning on the light, I sprawl full-length and face down
on the sofa and groan loudly.
I need a break. We just had dinner with Quatre and Wufei. Apparently,
in the several hours since Heero dropped the Relena bomb on us, Quatre's
been a busy bee. Heero now has a team of lawyers, including separate
attorneys for all of us, squadrons of detectives are out gathering information
on Relena, Heero, their relationship, their habits during their marriage,
gossip from servants, lint from under their bed... God knows what else.
Quatre's also been on the phone arguing with people about court dates,
validity of evidence, legal protocol, past precedents... It boggles my
mind. Relena should never have gotten Quatre mixed up in this. She must
be off her rocker.
That seems to be the consensus, anyway.
Through the first half of the meal, Quatre fired detail after detail at
us, until we were reeling from the amount of information he was pelting
us with. Then he employed that technique that is oh-so-Quatre - ask us
questions about what he should do and what we thought of what he had done
already, and answer himself when we stared at him blankly. Thus, we feel
like we're part of a conversation, while it's really just an extension
of the Winner monologue. At least, that's the theory. It doesn't really
work all that well, for me, anyway.
Finally, Wufei made him stop. But noone was really in the mood to talk
about anything else, so it really just went on and on and on...
I love Quatre, but I was never so glad to finish a meal.
He's scary, sometimes.
"My God!" I exclaim after a moment, my voice slightly muffled by the sofa
cushions. "Remind me never to piss Quatre off, ok?"
"Never piss Quatre off," Trowa tells me coolly. I turn my head and sneer
at him in time to catch the slight wince as he lowers himself into one
of the room's armchairs.
"Sore, Tro-chan?" I ask, in as neutral a voice as I can manage. He came
home from his time at the circus with his hair still wet, indicating he
must have showered there, but as soon as he got here he headed into our
shower. I could tell from the room afterwards that he had taken a very
hot shower. He hasn't complained, but I've been watching him - Trowa-watching
being one of my favorite activities anyway - and his movements have been
a little stiffer, a little less graceful than usual.
I hope he isn't too stiff. I have plans for this evening.
His eyes meet mine for an instant, then he looks away. "I'm fine," he
assures me quietly.
I frown. Is there something wrong beyond sore muscles?
Well, duh, Duo, that's kind of a stupid question, isn't it? The psycho-bitch
from Hell is playing merry havoc with our lives. She's inventing spurious
charges, accusing us of every crime she can think of, and is planning
to make our lives Hell in any way she possibly can for as long as she
can possibly make it last.
And Trowa, the most private person I have ever known, up to and I think
even including Wufei, is going to be asked personal, penetrating questions
about his love and sex life in an open courtroom. Maybe there'll even
be cameras present. Definitely there will be news media, waiting to spread
every word we say, every personal detail of our lives across the interstellar
news services, for everyone on Earth or in the colonies to know.
That thought makes even me a little uneasy. Trowa has difficulty sharing
personal information with me and Heero, the two people in the world he's
closest to. How can he be expected to open his life to strangers? It suddenly
clicks into focus for me how horribly difficult that will be for him.
It'll be torture.
Of a new and different type, just for variety.
Suddenly, I'm angry. It's not fucking fair. Why does she have to drag
Trowa into this? Heero, of course. He deserves some shit for being dumb
enough to marry her in the first place. Me, fine. Bring it on, bitch.
But Trowa. Noone ever leaves him the Hell alone. Not even, I realize guiltily,
"Hey, Tro, maybe we can get you out of testifying," I say suddenly, my
voice angrier than I had intended.
He looks up at me, blinking in surprise.
"Maybe we can get Rushton or someone to testify that you can't... or something...
" I falter and stop speaking, frowning as I try to sort out the line of
emotions that flicker rapidly across his face before it goes blank and
expressionless. Surprise, confusion... and anger. More than that, though...
guilt? Regret? Hurt?
I'm going to have to get that boy a slow motion function.
"You don't think I can testify?" There's a slight lilt to the end of the
sentence that marks it a question, but most of it is delivered in such
a flat tone that it sounds more like a statement.
"No! I mean... you don't want to Tro. I don't want you to... "
"You don't want me to testify." There's no lilt in that one. Definitely
a statement. Delivered in the trademarked Barton "I'm not happy with something
but I won't tell you what" monotone.
"It's not that, Tro, I -,"
"I don't want you to testify."
I push myself up into a sitting position and Heero sits down heavily next
to me on the sofa. He stares at his feet, not looking up at me or Trowa.
"You don't want me to."
Trowa Barton, ladies and gentleman. Instantaneous echo.
"I don't want either of you to," Heero qualifies. "I don't want you to
have to get up in a courtroom and talk about our lives together. I don't
want you to have to defend me against lies that Relena makes up to embarrass
us. I don't want to read about us in the tabloids."
I grin. "Oh, but just imagine how creative they can be," I needle. "Just
playing with our pilot numbers alone should keep them occupied for weeks."
"It's not funny." Heero scowls at me. "I didn't ever mean to get you two
- not to mention Quatre and Wufei - into this mess."
"Again, Hee-chan, it's not you," I point out, for about the three thousandth
time today. "You couldn't control Relena when you were married to her,"
I remind him with a grin. "Why should you be able to do it now?"
"Thanks, Duo, that makes me feel so much better," Heero snaps.
"Heero, what are you gonna do?" I demand, seriously. "She's done it. It's
not your fault. We just have to deal with it. But there's no reason Trowa
should have to... "
"Why not?" Trowa demands suddenly, his voice harsh. "Why is it ok for
you to testify, and Heero to testify, and Quatre and Wufei to testify,
but not me?"
"Tro, you don't... "
"Do you think Rushton can get him out of it?" Heero interrupts, looking
"I don't know; he's a medical doctor. We might have to get a recommendation
from another doctor."
"Would they give it on Rushton's word or... "
"Hello!" Heero and I both turn, startled, at the shout from Trowa. His
arms are folded across his chest and he's glaring at us out of his one
visible eye. "I am right here," he points out acerbically. "You
don't need to talk about me as if I'm not."
"Tro, I just think... maybe this isn't a good idea," I tell him honestly.
"What isn't a good idea?" he demands, and his voice is almost shrill.
I frown at him. "You testifying," I remind him.
He seems to relax fractionally. "Why not?" he challenges, his arms still
"Tro... You went through a lot, not that long ago," I remind him, as delicately
as I can. "It might not be good for you to have a whole bunch of people
prodding at you in court."
"You think I'm crazy?" he asks flatly. "You think I'll break down?"
"Don't be ridiculous!" I snap, a little too quickly. I am a little
afraid of how he'll react.
"You do," he says, and it's almost an accusation. "You think I'm... "
"You aren't crazy," Heero cuts him off. His cheeks are flushed, and he
looks angry and guilty at the same time. Not an easy feat, that. Heero's
great at it, though. He could give lessons. "I think you shouldn't do
this, though. Think about it," he continues loudly, as Trowa tries to
interrupt. "They could ask you anything, Trowa. They could ask about the
last war, and what happened then. They will ask why we waited so long
to sleep together. Do you want to have to stand up in a courtroom and
I wince slightly. That's blunt.
Trowa pales as Heero outlines what will happen, but presses on. "You think
I can't do it," he says flatly.
"I don't want you to have to do it," Heero corrects.
Trowa pushes himself to his feet and glares down at us. "So it'll be much
better for me to get myself classified as crazy - unable to testify in
a court case. So the world will know that the two of you are saddled with
a lunatic who can't even... "
"Damn it, I didn't say that!" Heero half-shouts, surging to his feet and
advancing across the small space until he's directly in front of Trowa.
Tactical error, Heero. Trowa's seven inches taller than you.
"I'm trying to... to help, Trowa," Heero spits out angrily, staring up
at him. "I'm... I'm... sorry."
Heero still isn't great at the whole apology thing. It makes him antsy.
"I'm sorry," he repeats, his shoulders slumping slightly. "I don't want
you to have to go through this."
Trowa stares down at Heero, and some of the tension visibly eases away
from him. "You don't have to protect me, you know," he tells him in a
hard voice, but without anger.
Heero looks up at him. "Yes I do," he says simply.
A shadow crosses Trowa's face, and he frowns briefly. "I'm stronger than
you think," he says firmly. "Should I demonstrate?" And suddenly he's
closed the small distance between him and Heero, has Heero's face held
firmly between his hands, and is kissing him thoroughly, almost forcefully.
I blink. Damn! That was unexpected!
It must be my evil influence. Awesome.
Trowa pulls his head back a little, and stares intently down at Heero.
"Do I need to prove myself?" he demands huskily. "I can do that, Heero,"
he assures the other man.
Before Heero can reply, Trowa presses his mouth to his again, cutting
off any words. The kiss is fierce and demanding. Heero's hands slide up
Trowa's back and grasp his shoulders. Trowa shudders slightly under the
touch. He hooks his foot around behind Heero's calf and pulls back, sending
them both tumbling to the floor.
Good thing we haven't set up the coffee table yet.
Trowa cuts off Heero's surprised exclamations with his mouth, and reaches
down to start to tug on Heero's shirt, untucking it. At the same time,
he arranges himself so that he's braced on knees and elbows over Heero's
body. He's placed his knees on either side of Heero's hips, and as I watch,
he very deliberately grinds his pelvis against Heero's.
Heero moans loudly, arching up toward Trowa. Trowa tears his mouth away,
and begins to move his lips down the side of Heero's neck. Heero gasps
periodically, and as Trowa moves downward, I see the reddened patches
of skin he's left behind on Heero's neck, marking him.
Well. I guess he's definitely going to be wearing high collars in court.
Relena would probably make those Exhibit A.
Trowa lifts his head and stares down at Heero, and even from the couch
I can see the tightly controlled, barely contained, desire in his expression.
Heero stares back at him with a more dazed, but equally eager look in
his deep blue eyes.
Trowa's hands tremble as they move to the buttons on Heero's shirt. He
undoes them clumsily, some of them tearing off in the face of Trowa's
I dart quickly into our bedroom, to retrieve the little tube we keep in
the bedside table. We really ought to conceal some in the other rooms
I'm gone only a few seconds, but when I return, shedding most of my clothes
en route, Trowa's shirt is off and Heero's shirt is off and Trowa is tearing
off Heero's pants and boxers.
Heero cries out hoarsely as Trowa's mouth wraps around his length, sliding
down, pulling him inside. I shiver as I feel myself harden even more at
the sight. Heero moans, tangling his fingers in Trowa's hair as Trowa
continues his ministrations. I drop to the ground beside them, and begin
carefully working Trowa's pants off. He cooperates, until I wrap my coated
fingers around his own erection.
He pulls back, abruptly removing his mouth from Heero, who cries out in
"Duo! God! What... " He stops when I hold up the little tube. He takes
it from me and turns back to Heero. He firmly spreads Heero's legs wide,
arranging himself between them at an angle where I can continue to stroke
Heero suddenly cries out, his hips jerking upward. His eyes are shut tight,
his fists clenched, his erection straining upwards. Trowa is biting his
lower lip, sweat beaded on his forehead, as he carefully prepares Heero.
"Heero, look at me," he demands roughly as he arranges himself over him.
I lean back on my heels, unabashedly stroking myself as I stare at them.
Heero opens his eyes, and stares into Trowa's green ones.
"I am strong, Heero," Trowa vows raggedly as he pushes himself into Heero
with one smooth thrust.
Heero shouts, his arms going around Trowa as he arches up towards him.
Trowa reaches behind him and takes hold of Heero's hands and pulls them
up over his head. He holds Heero's wrists to the carpet in both of his
own hands, as he pulls back then thrusts back into Heero.
Heero gasps loudly at the sensation, struggles briefly to free his hands,
then gives up, lifting his legs around Trowa, using his knees to pull
him deeper and deeper inside him.
Trowa moves continuously faster and harder, slamming into Heero again
and again until he's screaming mindlessly with lust. Still Trowa pushes,
entering him again and again, alternately kissing him, moving his lips
across his face, sinking his teeth into his neck...
"Open your eyes, Heero," Trowa demands suddenly, pausing above Heero,
his length almost fully withdrawn from him.
Heero moans, using his knees to try to pull Trowa down again.
"Open your eyes!" Trowa repeats, louder this time.
Heero forces his eyes open. He's panting as he twists in Trowa's grip,
desperately seeking the release Trowa is denying him.
"I can do anything you need me to," Trowa tells him roughly. "Anything
you want. I can be whatever you need me to be, Heero. Do you understand?"
I frown. That doesn't sound quite right, somehow.
Heero blinks, apparently gripped with the same uneasiness I am experiencing,
but even less able to pinpoint it through the haze of his lust.
"Trowa, I just want you... "
"Understand me?" Trowa interrupts demandingly, moving down and quickly
back up in a shallow, unsatisfying thrust.
Heero hisses, his eyes shutting momentarily. "God, Trowa, you're... "
"Just say you understand me," Trowa orders, trembling with the difficulty
of holding himself back. "Just tell me that you know that."
"I... I understand, Trowa. Please... "
But Heero doesn't have to finish his plea. Trowa tightens his grip on
Heero's wrist, and thrusts all the way back in. His shout mingles with
Heero's, and after a half dozen forceful thrusts, Heero throws his head
back, growling as he finally finds his fulfillment. An instant later Trowa
shouts, and I see his lower body spasm as he empties himself into Heero.
He collapses on top of Heero's prone form, and for a moment, they hardly
move at all. Then they start breathing again, panting, as they slowly
begin to recover from this intense bout of lovemaking.
"My goodness," I comment after a few minutes. "Forget the damn circus,
Tro - that was the best show on Earth!"
Trowa's head lifts and he stares at me, and I see the fire reawakening
in the depths of his emerald eyes. "It's not over yet," he informs me
slowly. "I think it's time for your act, Maxwell." Abruptly, he rolls
off of Heero, pulling me beneath him and kissing me hard.
For an instant, before I am pulled in by the force of Trowa's passion,
I again experience that feeling of uneasiness. It's very unlike Trowa
to be this aggressive. I think I could count on one hand the number of
times in our whole relationship he has been. I mean, he has often been
assertive - it's not like I've had to start everything all the time. But
he's almost never like this. And when he is... it usually isn't...
But I can't complete the thought. Logic and reason and worry vanish, and
all that's left is me, and Trowa and the sensations he's creating between
A long time later we're finally lying in our bed. We're in kind of an
unusual position for us - I'm on my side, Heero's curled up against my
chest, and Trowa's front is against my back, his arm lightly over us.
Every once in a while I feel his arm tremble, and I smile. I'm not fully
I think Heero's asleep, and I'm almost there. Suddenly, Trowa breaks the
"I'm sorry," he whispers tentatively, as though he's not sure whether
we're asleep, whether we'll hear him.
"Huh?" I mumble unintelligently. I really am almost asleep.
"I'm sorry," he repeats.
"For wha'?" I ask, confused.
"I didn't mean... Did I hurt you?" he asks, and his voice is strained.
"Huh?" I repeat again. "Hurt me? When?"
There's a long silence. "Before," he manages finally. "When... "
I chuckle sleepily. "No," I assure him wholeheartedly. "You didn't hurt
me at all Tro. Definitely nothing to be sorry for there." I wiggle backwards,
snuggling against his hard form. "No need to apologize," I mumble, closing
my eyes again. He didn't hurt me, but he sure wore me out.
He says something more, but I don't hear it. I'm already mostly asleep,
hardly aware of anything. I register the words, and grunt slightly at
the sudden lack of warmth against my back, but I'm too tired to investigate,
too tired, too...
But suddenly my peaceful slumber is shattered, I'm jerked back into awareness
by a cacophony of screams and hoarse shouts, bursting out behind me. Something
pushes against me, and I realize I'm still holding Heero in my arms. We've
been sleeping; I don't know how long. I release him, see him staring wildly
at me in the dim light from the nightlamp in the corner. Heero's here...
it must be...
"No! NO! It's not the same! I'm not the same as you! I'm
I scramble around, and see Trowa behind me, on the far side of the mattress,
his head tossing from side to side, his face contorted in an expression
of agony, screaming.
"Don't call me that!" he shouts suddenly. "Never call me that!"
"Trowa!" I call urgently. I kneel on the bed, reaching forward to gently
shake him by the shoulder, trying to be on the alert for any blows he
might unconsciously swing at me.
"Don't call me that!" he screams again. "I am not Nanashi!
It's not my name!"
"Trowa!" I shout as loud as I can, shaking him hard. "Trowa! Wake up!"
"I am not Nanashi!" he wails despairingly.
"Trowa!" I bellow, almost in his ear.
He jumps, startled, and wakes up, still white and trembling.
"It's all right," I tell him soothingly, allowing him a moment to realize
where he is before I try to touch him. "It's ok. It was a dream. Just
a dream. A nightmare."
"A nightmare," he repeats, his voice shaking.
"Just a nightmare," I affirm. "It wasn't real. I'm here, and Heero is
here and we're in our home." I'm trying to give him what detail I can,
trying to anchor him in our world here, not the frightening landscape
of his nightmare. "We're in our bed. And you're Trowa. Trowa Barton, our
Trowa, noone else, just Trowa... "
He sits up abruptly, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, his shoulders
"Trowa?" I ask gently, reaching out to lightly brush my hand across his
He jerks at my touch, startled despite the fact I barely touched him at
"Don't call me that," he orders harshly. My hand drops as I falter in
surprise. "It's not my name either," he finishes bitterly.
While I'm still trying to figure that one out, he pushes himself to his
feet and moves rapidly toward the bathroom.
He's going to hide in the bathroom again. I fucking hate that.
"Trowa!" I shout after him.
He stops in his tracks, swaying with the abruptness of the movement.
"Trowa, don't go," I call, more softly. "Come and... "
"I'm not... " His voice cracks, and he stops. "I need... a minute. I'll
be back," he promises before disappearing into the bathroom.
I turn and look at Heero, who had remained silent in the background through
all this. "What's going on?" I ask him.
He shakes his head. "I don't know," he tells me.
I sigh. "He had a bad dream," I say firmly. "He still had them on the
island. It would be silly to expect them to stop because we came here."
Heero nods, but the troubled look is still on his face. I sigh, and lean
over to kiss him gently.
Relena had better get through with her shit ASAP. Apparently, we still
have our own shit to deal with.
[part 11] [part 13]
[back to Shoori's fic]