Author: Bane's Desire
see chao. 1 for warnings, disclaimer
Grudging Seduction: Chapter Nineteen
A New Dawn
Duo watched with his heart
in his throat as Heero flew off to engage Zechs in Tallgeese.
Quatre shouted through the com, his frustration sounding loud and clear
as he, Trowa and Wufei had gone out to wreak whatever havoc they could
in breaking up the swarms of mobile dolls aiming for Peacemillion.
lethal in each and every swing of the scythe, bringing down one enemy
suit after another. Then a faint, frantic voice called out to him. He
recognized it instantly as Hilde's and wondered what in the hell
she was doing out in the middle of a battle. He knew she'd been dishonorably
discharged from OZ after she'd helped him at the moon base after
escaping the transport ship. The last time he'd seen her she was
safe and sound on L-2 adjusting back into civilian live.
Leaving his assigned
task with a brief explanation to Quatre, Duo went after the girl, hoping
he wouldn't be too late.
on Libra," Duo said to Heero after he'd met the other pilot
in the hallway as the medical team wheeled Hilde away. "Hilde risked
her life to bring us the printout of the fortress," he reported sadly.
"She told me that while she was there she found and talked to Relena
Peacecraft. Her brother's in command of Libra and that she refuses
to leave there without trying to talk him out of his plans for destroying
Heero nodded, and
Duo could only wonder what was going on in his lover's head. "Whatever
you decided to do," Duo said quietly. "I've got your promise."
Startled, the blue
eyes shot open and looked into his own. "And I've got yours."
Those words seemed to pass between them like a lover's caress whenever
they chanced to see pass other in Peacemillion's corridors. Neither
boy smiled as they continued to drink up the vision of the other with
their eyes. The situation was too tense for any further emotional exchange
or for either of them to pretend that everything was going to be alright.
They both knew that their futures were uncertain in the days or even hours
ahead. For now, the two could only try to memorize the face of his lover
before they parted once again.
After several moments,
Heero gave a curt nod, then turned on his heel and walked down the corridor
towards the docking hangar, leaving Duo standingalone in the hallway watching
his retreating form. Closing his eyes, the braided teen offered one of
his rare prayers, asking for the safety of the boy he and the scientists
had known along was the hope of the colonies.
the inner corridors of the partially destroyed Libra had seemed a good
idea at the time, but Duo knew they were running out of time before the
enormous chunk of the former battleship would enter the Earth's atmosphere.
If the monstrous, split-off section of that station metal hit Earth, he
knew the consequence to the planet would be devastating, causing death
and destruction that would affect the entire planet's population
for decades to come. He shifted in his pilot chair, feeling waves of exhaustion
deep within his muscles and bones, threatening to overwhelm him.
he called out, needing to know the other was still fighting.
"Get out, Duo.
Remember your promise."
The braided teen
swallowed down all his emotions and weariness and replied with a firm
voice. "And you better remember yours."
Over the communications
board, Duo could hear that Quatre and the Maguanacs were also struggling
to exit the wreckage. Then Wufei's voice, which had been silent since
his victory over Treize Kushrenada, cried out, "Heero, I've
got your buster rifle."
Hope billowed within
his chest, and Duo made an extra effort to get out of the falling deathtrap,
wanting to see what Heero was going to do. He knew the power of the buster
rifle could eliminate the hunk of junk if it was aimed correctly; and
Heero's aim was seldom off. He broke free of the falling wreckage
and moved quickly to distance himself from it as it began its entry into
Earth's atmosphere. He moved closer to where Shenlong, Heavyarms
and Sandrock had positioned themselves and floated close to each other,
Duo joined them
and positioned Deathscythe so that he could watch the show. It was then
that his eyes widened in fear and his heart felt like it would hammer
out of his chest. "Heero," he whispered in a choked voice. Horrified,
he watched as Wing Zero plummeted backwards towards earth, the back of
the gundam radiating red from the heat of re-entry.
Slapping his hand
on the communications board, he tried to raise his lover. "Heero!"
he called out sharply. "Don't you dare. You gave me your word,"
he said, hoping beyond hope that the suicidal lunatic could hear him.
Torn between anger and fear, he held his breath and watched as Heero made
a last ditch effort to save the planet by raising his powerful beam cannon
towards the falling mass of debris above him. It was obvious to everyone
watching that Heero was having a difficult time controlling the backward
descent of his gundam and locking his weapon system on the portion of
Libra above him that was now also burning red from entering the atmosphere.
Grabbing up his
crucifix, Duo clutched it in his hand and held it against his chest over
his heart as he uttered a silent, desperate prayer, hoping for some kind
of divine intervention on Heero's behalf because he was pretty damn
sure it was going to take nothing short of a miracle to save not only
Earth, but Heero also.
damn you. Shoot!" he shouted, only to see the bright burst of light
at the tip of the buster rifle flare to life then rupture into a brilliant,
straight line of power into the center of the falling debris. On impact,
the chunk of the once mighty fortress shattered into pieces, the majority
of which would easily burn up in the atmosphere.
Duo swallowed hard,
his eyes unblinking as he stared at the viewing screen for some sign of
Wing. His eyes began to water and he was quick to brush any moisture away
to clear his vision with a grunt of irritation. And then he spotted it,
a vague white dot shooting out of the top layer of the Earth's atmosphere.
His relief was almost overwhelming, and vaguely heard the other pilots
cheerfully commenting about Heero's unbelievable but welcomed survival.
Duo managed a few similar words, but then cut off the communication board
as he choked up. It was over. The war was over and they had all survived.
He didn't exactly know what it was he was feeling at the moment.
He felt too numb to be happy, too relieved to celebrate, and too exhausted
to think about it.
Running both hands
through the damp fringe of hair at the front of his face, he let everything
sink in, that OZ and White Fang were defeated and the war was really over.
With that idea settling into his brain there came the realization that
along with the end of the war, his mission pertaining to his involvement
with Heero was also over.
Burying his face
in his hands he felt the overwhelming need to cry, but his motto had always
been, 'boys don't cry', never mind he couldn't live
up to that phrase. He'd cried plenty of times in his life. Still,
he tried not to, it just didn't seem manly.
A beep sounded from
his computer as new coordinates flashed on his display board. Heero was
instructing all the pilots to meet on the nearest colony, L-4. He took
a deep breath and struggled to compose his riotous emotions as he entered
the information into the navigation computer and activated the auto pilot
that would take Deathscythe to L-4 while he contemplated what he was going
to do next.
As he approached
the unfamiliar docking port, Duo came to the decision that once he and
Heero were alone, he would make a confession to him about the mission.
He would quickly add that somehow during said mission, he'd fallen
in love with him, that Heero had become much more than an assignment and
that he didn't want things between them to end.
Would Heero believe
him after all the lies he'd told? Had he really lied? He asked himself.
Maybe a little, in the beginning, but he'd been as truthful as he
could be given the circumstances. He honestly didn't believe he was
gay up to the day he'd accepted his mission, but maybe he'd
been deluding himself. He hadn't been attracted to Heero in a sexual
way before the mission order, but he had always been drawn to the stoic,
handsome teenager who seemed to epitomize everything a gundam pilot should
be. He'd admired Heero and his dedication before, but that certainly
changed into something else once the Wing pilot had touched him, shown
an interest in him, and definitely when his knees buckled after one of
his intoxicating kisses.
He felt terrible,
mentally and physically, as he neared the open port and took over the
manual docking procedures to enter the colony. He realized that the unsettled
feeling that was churning in his gut was fear. He was afraid of Heero
rejecting him once he learned the truth. He hadn't gone into this
mission with any intention of falling in love with Wing's pilot;
he'd gone into it with the idea to stay straight and not become physically
involved with his new friend. But his seemingly demented mission orders
had led him to the best thing in his life, to a companionship he knew
he'd not find in anyone else, to a level of trust he never imagined,
to a love that was unexpected but so needed.
Heero," he whispered to himself, wishing for that result with all
Moments later, Deathscythe
was locking into a port made for shuttles. Duo locked down the systems
and removed the seat's restraints. He almost fell over as he pushed
himself up from the pilot's chair to stand. His legs and arms were
weak from the strain of battling for hours on end. His hand caught at
the door and he paused to wait for the world around him to stop spinning.
He needed some food and sleep, and not necessarily in that order.
With a push of a
button, the cockpit door hissed as the seal was broken and the light and
recycled air of the colony entered as the hatch lowered. Taking hold of
the cable above the hatch, Duo hoped he had the strength to hang onto
it as he made his descent to the hanger floor. As the cable began to lower,
he surveyed his surroundings and noted the other gundams were lined up
and fully secured in the docking bay. Wing was the first in line, obviously
having arrived at the colony before the others. Next came Wufei's
gundam, followed by Sandrock and Trowa's Heavyarms. It was to Sandrock
that Duo's eyes went, seeing some movement coming from the open cockpit
Trowa was backing
out of Sandrock's hatch, and as he turned to find the exiting cable,
Duo saw that he was carrying Quatre in his arms. Even from the distance
that separated him from his two friends, the American could see the dark
stain of blood that covered the Arabian's exposed white t-shirt that
they all wore under their flight suits. The blond's silky-haired
head rested heavily against the taller teen's shoulder as Trowa struggled
with the weight in his arms and the cable's footing.
Duo hissed to himself, fear for his friend giving him the adrenaline he
needed to ignore his weariness and jump the rest of the distance to the
hanger floor and run like the devil himself was after him to the bottom
of the tall white gundam to offer his help.
was fixed on Quatre's pale face until he noticed movement below.
He turned his head to see Duo standing at the foot of Sandrock, his face
turned upward, looking anxious.
"What the hell
happened?" Duo questioned, reaching his hands out to steady Trowa
as the cable's foothold stopped a foot above the metal floor.
was in the control room for the mobile dolls and challenged Quatre to
a sword fight."
Duo asked, incredulous. "Since when to people fight with swords?"
the aristocrats on Earth deem it a worthy pastime. Thanks," he acknowledged
the supporting hand Duo had given him as he stepped down a bit awkwardly
from the foot hold. He readjusted Quatre's limp body in his arms
and began to walk towards the door labeled EXIT with Duo running alongside
him. "Quatre knows how to fight with a sword, but he didn't
want to injure the girl." His eyes narrowed slightly. "He even
tried to get me to take her with me and leave him there. As if that would
ever happen," he scoffed angrily.
Quatre's too kind for his own good," Duo said, observing with
increased worry the lax and blanched face of the boy they were talking
about as they hurried along.
The door exiting
the hanger opened at their approach and the warmth of the colony and its
light engulfed them. Suddenly, as if appearing from out of nowhere, a
team of medical personnel and a gurney appeared.
ahead," Trowa explained the presence of the medical support without
looking away from Quatre as he gently placed the smaller pilot on the
stretcher where he was immediately strapped in and wheeled away, even
as the medical team began to assess their patient. Duo ran behind Trowa
as he walked with long, hurried strides beside the gurney that was taking
Quatre to the ambulance waiting outside the building. As the blond was
being loaded into the emergency vehicle, Duo looked up around, scanning
the area in search of Heero and Wufei. At first he didn't see them,
but a commotion near the far door drew his attention towards it. A large
group of people and reporters were gathering off to the side. As the crowd
shifted, Duo saw two recognizable dark heads near the center and recognized
the unmistakable head of long blond hair and the voice of Relena Peacecraft
speaking above the murmur of the group surrounding them.
and gentlemen, hold your questions and comments. The pilots are exhausted
from the battle that has just concluded. I will confirm for you, however,
that the rumors you've heard are indeed true. The war is over. Treize
Kushrenada was killed in battle and OZ has conceded defeat. White Fang
has been neutralized by the destruction of Libra. And less than an hour
ago, the pilot of Wing Zero saved the plant Earth from certain devastation
by destroying an enormous, broken-off section from that battleship, Libra.
Negotiations between Earth and the colonies will begin immediately now
that all hostilities have ceased. Now please, let me escort these pilots
to a place where they can rest. I promise more information later."
Jealousy again reared
its ugly head as Duo observed the scene and scowled at the fact that Relena
must have rushed to Heero's gundam and gotten to him the moment he
got out of the hatch. He had to hand it to her, she certainly knew how
to use Heero's heroic act to further her own political aspirations.
His resentment of her grew at her snagging Heero at such a momentous moment.
After he'd been scared almost shitless, fearing he'd have to
face a postwar era without the person who was of the greatest importance
to him, he wanted to be reassured his lover was alright. He needed to
touch and hold him. He sullenly realized that his so-called lover didn't
seem to feel the same way because he hadn't even come to meet him
as he docked. Upset at the way things were turning out and not wanting
to make a scene or look insecure and needy, he went against his emotional
judgement and turned to the more practical. He raced after his other two
friends. Heero had Wufei guarding his back; he would be alright for the
time being. With Quatre down and Trowa concentrating on him, Duo determined
that they needed him more. He took upon himself the job to guard their
backs until the five colony-born teens could regroup, then he would square
things with Heero.
During the course
of the two days that followed the final battle, he and Heero had somehow
managed to miss each other in passing. Duo learned from Trowa, a constant
at Quatre's side, that the other two pilots had shown up at the hospital
six hours after their landing on L-4, twenty minutes after he had been
led by Rashid to a nearby hotel where the Maguanac took the time before
he left to check on his band of brothers to arrange for a room for the
weary pilot to rest. After six hours of sleep, Duo had been woken by his
aching and hollow stomach begging for food. He showered then left his
room to go down to the hotel restaurant to get something to fill his cramping
stomach. He learned later that while he'd slept, Heero had gone in
search of Rashid, found him and obtained direction to the hotel and his
room number. But upon his arrival, he found the unmade and bed empty.
Feeling too tired from the day's events to keep looking without some
hint of direction, Wing's pilot took advantage of the soft bed and
decided to take a nap while he waited for Duo's return.
Not knowing at the
time of their passing each other again and of Heero's presence in
the hotel, Duo finished gorging himself, then took a slow walk back to
the hospital to check on the status of his wounded friend. His disappointment
at not seeing Heero there was eased somewhat by finding out that Quatre
had regained consciousness and seemed to be on his way to recovering nicely
from his surgery. Surrounded by a gaggle of fussing sisters, he managed
a brief visit before his droopy-eyed and drugged friend drifted back to
sleep. Quatre had weakly pleaded with him to take Trowa to his home so
that he could rest properly. Of course, Trowa wasn't all that amenable
to the suggestion, but with the older women dominating the currents of
the recovery room, the idea became a little more appealing.
So it was a half
hour after arriving that Duo literally pulled the semi-reluctant Heavyarms
pilot out of the hospital. With the hastily scrawled directions to the
Winner house in his hand, Duo shoved the nearly comatose pilot into a
taxi and handed the slip of paper to the driver, requesting him to take
them to the written address. It was almost comical to see the man's
eyebrows disappear up to his hairline at seeing where he was driving his
have been surprising to find that Quatre's home was an enormous mansion,
but its grandeur had the former street kid's eyes bulging. As always,
Duo found himself awed by any such large domestic dwelling. The two climbed
the steps to the front entry and rang the door bell. As Duo steadied Trowa
as he began to sway, he explained to the tall, dark-skinned butler who
had promptly and properly answered the door who they were and Quatre's
instructions. The two gundam pilots were assured that they had been given
word to expect them and they were promptly ushered up the grand staircase
to one of the dozens of rooms they passed within the large, opulent home.
Though they were offered separate rooms for their comfort, Duo insisted
the two of them stay together, not knowing the specifics of this resting
place or the many personnel that he'd seen tending to it.
The room itself
was much like the rest of the house, elegant and decorated with expensive
furniture and wall hangings. The large, king-size bed was inviting, but
it was the promise of a warm, home-cooked meal that kept the two boys
awake for longer than they thought possible.
Observing his comrade
as they waited for the promised meal, Duo could see that Trowa was almost
beyond exhausted and feeling unsettled in the unfamiliar surroundings
as well as from being away from Quatre. By the shifting of the green,
half-lidded eyes, he knew that if he didn't keep a close watch on
him, the Heavyarms pilot would bolt back to the hospital and Quatre's
side and would probably end up being hospitalized himself. Putting aside
his own need to find Heero and to set things right between them, Duo knew
he was needed right where he was. Quatre would rest better and heal faster
knowing Trowa was being watched over as he rested. And Trowa, capable
and stubborn as he was, needed to know that his back was being watched
as he gave into his exhaustion and slept.
Duo talked to the
taller boy in a gentle but firm manner, insisting he take a short, hot
shower, telling him he would feel better for it.
agreed and shuffled off to the bathroom. He remained behind the closed
door for no more than ten minutes before he re-emerged, looking fresh,
damp and more than ready for bed. Wrapped in a borrowed bathrobe, he sat
half awake in one of the chairs in the bedroom and watched as Duo sat
cross-legged on the bed, using the remote to change the channels on the
television, looking for any news updates. A knock sounded on the door
just as Trowa's head began to drop towards his chest as sleep came
closer. A moment after the cart of food had been brought in and uncovered,
Duo excused the household-staff person and then forced the hot, delicious
meal on the sleepy young man. Duo's prodding to eat didn't stop
until the braided teen was sure Trowa's appetite was sated, then
the American promptly sent him to bed.
The exhausted Heavyarms
pilot slept for ten hours without moving or even rolling over. Duo kept
watch for an hour or so, then locked the door, put his gun under his pillow,
then climbed up on the bed next to his friend and slept for six hours.
He awoke feeling refreshed and spent the remainder of the next three hours
silently pacing the room. He felt irritated by the fact that he'd
had no word about Heero or Wufei. Added to his irritation was his hair.
The band securing his braid had broken during his rest, leaving the long
mass tangled and in messy disarray as it fell heavy against his back.
He was anxious and feeling desperate with the need to leave and find Heero,
to settle things with him. But he couldn't. To leave now would be
shirking his duty to his other friends.
A light tapping
on the door came as a relief to him, breaking up the monotony of listening
to Trowa's gentle breathing while he paced. He went to the door expecting
a member of the household staff on the other side, and opened it a crack
to peer out. He was more than a little surprised to find Wufei on the
Turning his head,
he checked the person on the bed behind him and saw that Trowa was beginning
to stir from the slight sound. So as to not disturb his friend further,
he eased himself out of the room and shut the door quietly behind him.
Turning to look into the Chinese boy's face, he smiled and noted
that Wufei looked rested. "How are you?" he asked in a hushed
the other replied. "How's Trowa?"
"It looks like
he's finally waking up. He was pretty wiped out." Duo answered.
been looking for you," Wufei said casually. "I understand we
missed you at the hospital a couple of times and when he finally tracked
you down at your hotel room, you gone. We found out from Quatre when he
finally woke up an hour ago that you'd brought Trowa here to rest.
We didn't know if you were still with him or not, so I offered to
come and bring Trowa back to the hospital. Heero's checking your
hotel room again." He gave Duo a slight, amused grin. "Quatre's
beginning to get anxious at Trowa's long absence, and Heero at yours."
Duo nodded, a smile
teasing his lips. "Let me get lazy bones up and fed, then we'll
all go back together."
Wufei nodded, his
eyes rising to the top of Duo's head. "You better fix your hair,
it's a bit... mussed. Wouldn't want to look less than your best
for Heero, would you?"
Duo, though surprised
at the other pilot's teasing, gave his friend a playful warning look,
then moved with lightening speed to snatch the hairband from off Wufei's
pony tail. "I'll just borrow this, if ya don't mind,"
he chuckled and scampered back into the bedroom, leaving Wufei standing
in the hallway with his hair falling loose over his shoulders and a forced
scowl on his face that slowlygave way to a smile as the bedroom door closed
behind the long-haired maniac.
The five pilots
met up again at the hospital. Upon entering the room, Duo's eyes
met with Heero's and the principal emotion they shared between them
was longing. Their lingering gaze ended when Trowa voiced his pleasure
that Quatre had some color back in his face. Duo moved across the room
to stand at Heero's side. He quickly embraced him and felt a surge
of relief in feeling Heero's arms holding him with just as much desperation.
No words were able to be exchanged between them as the doctor arrived
and began to tell the five of Quatre's progress and giving them the
happy news that the prognosis for a full recovery was excellent. The five
then took time to quietly celebrate their victory. The war was over and
they'd somehow, miraculously survived. Trowa stayed close to Quatre's
bedside, their hands occasionally touching. Heero remained close to Duo,
their shoulders bumping occasionally and both of them sporadically reaching
out to touch each other. Duo felt like his body was thrumming with happiness
at being with his friends again, that they were all facing a future that
had always been questionable, until now. Yet he was more aware of the
boy that stood next to him and that he needed desperately to be alone
with him and to talk about the past and present. He needed to confess
his love and then his mission, hoping Heero would understand. The coming
conversation filled him with both dread and anticipation. His future and
his heart lay on the line at Heero's reaction to his confession.
After an hour of
visiting with each other, the nurse came into the room with the intention
of chasing the three visitors out, allowing Trowa alone to stay while
the famous L-4 patient rested. The three comrades walked out of the back
door of the hospital, having been told by the guarding Maguanacs of the
growing numbers of members of the press at the front door and lobby. Someone
had obviously leaked information that the Winner heir had been wounded
and that the gundam pilots were visiting him. It wouldn't take more
than a day or two for them to figure out that Quatre Winner, the prince
of the colony, had been one of their number and then all hell would probably
The three boys,
appearing to a passerby as relatively the same height and build and of
reasonable good looks, managed to successfully escape the attention of
the gathering press at the hospital's front doors and walked several
blocks together in the direction of Duo's hotel.
did you two disappear to after the last battle?" Duo asked as nonchalantly
as possible. He was still somewhat irked that Relena had manipulated Heero
again to her side.
us at the gundams and warned us that the press was gathering like a pack
of rabid dogs outside the terminal," Heero answered, his eyes shifting
to Duo to gauge his reaction. "She said if we met with them, giving
them a brief statement, that we would be able to escape them sooner than
if we didn't."
Wufei snorted at
that. "They weren't easy to appease. Though Relena handled them
fairly easily, they wanted to know who we were and what colonies we came
from. Like that would matter. We fought for all the colonies, not just
"It took us
a good hour to break away and we decided you three had made a clean escape
from the madness. Relena ushered us into a taxi cab and took us to the
home of a family she knew, offering us a chance to recoup from the media
mess," Heero continued the narrative. "We were given food, a
chance to shower, and then the phone to try to figure out where everyone
else had gone. We finally reached Quatre's home and was told by one
of his sisters that he was in the hospital."
Wufei spoke up. "L-4 has four hospitals and Quatre's admittance
was withheld from the public at that time. We ended up going to each hospital
and wandering through the hallways trying to find three gundam pilots.
At least we found Quatre at the third and not the fourth one. But by that
time you'd gone and there was no one there to tell us where Rashid
had taken you."
Duo nodded, that
explained a lot of the time that had separated himself and Heero. Wufei
then looked at his watch, and casually announced, "I've got
some business to attend to. I'll catch up with you later." He
then turned and left his two comrades before either of them could protest
or ask questions.
Duo looked at Heero
and gave him a shy smile. They were alone at last and the time for his
confession was at hand. "That was a bit obvious, but nice of him
to bug off, wasn't it? Want to go to my room and talk?" he asked.
Heero nodded. "It
seems like a respectable establishment," he said, the corners of
his mouth twitching slightly.
me the room. I guess Quatre's paying."
Heero nodded. "Is
"It was when
I checked in, but I've been gone awhile. We can check it again when
we get there." He then started to walk in the direction of the hotel
with Heero matching his stride.
"So how did
you escape Relena?" Duo asked, trying to mask his jealousy.
Heero snorted. "It
wasn't easy. But I find dealing with her in a direct manner is very
"What did you
do?" Duo's curiosity was piqued as the approached the front
doors of the hotel.
to make plans for my future, offering me a lucrative job on her security
staff back on earth and a fully-paid college education as an incentive."
widened. "What did you say?"
Humor lit the deep
blue eyes as he held the door open for the other boy. In a sexy, low voice
he answered so that only Duo could hear. "I told her I'd have
to ask my lover what he thought about it and that I'd get back to
of laughter caught the attention of everyone in the lobby of the hotel.
"What did she say to that?" he asked, unable to stifle his laughter
a lot before she muttered something like, 'You do that.'"
Both of them sniggered
at that as they continued into the large hotel, and became aware of the
stares of other people in the lobby. It seemed that news traveled fast
as to their identities. With their hands brushing against each other,
Duo led the way to the elevator. As the doors closed behind them, Heero
turned and pulled the braided teen into his arms giving him a kiss that
bordered on desperate and an embrace that was almost crushing.
Duo was breathless
when the ding sounded, alerting them that the car had stopped and the
doors were about to open. They moved apart and watched as the doors parted
as well. Duo led the way once again to the door of his room. The card
was slipped into the slot and the door's lock clicked opened.
No sooner had he
entered the room but Heero grabbed him from behind and propelled him to
the bed. Duo laughed at his lover's antics as he was tossed playfully
onto the mattress only to have Heero dive onto the top of him, their lips
hungrily tasting each other's.
Duo knew he needed
to stop before they went any further, but Heero's lips were magic,
his touch bewitching, muddling his mind with passion and pushing aside
his common sense. Before he knew it, both sets of clothes were off and
their bodies were moving erotically against each other, their moans of
pleasure mingled with their breath.
"I want you,
Duo," Heero whispered against his lips. The braided teen knew exactly
what Heero was asking for, a consummation of their relationship, a physical
promise of a future. With the way he was feeling at the moment, Duo was
ready to give everything to the boy who was teasing his body so perfectly.
But guilt lay on his mind and brought him quickly to his senses. Putting
his hands against Heero's chest, he gently pushed, forcing Heero
to back away, a perplexed look on his face.
Before we go any further, I need to talk to you. There's something
I've gotta tell ya."
Heero gave him a
lazy smile as his hands kept roving over the other boy's back and
Heero. There's something I need to tell you," Duo insisted,
though his eyes closed and his body leaned into the tempting touch.
"I need to
tell you something, too," Heero said, leaning forward to place a
chaste kiss on the tip of Duo's nose.
The braided teen asked, feeling and sounding a bit confused as he opened
his eyes once again.
"Maybe I should
go first," Heero offered. "I don't know that you're
going to like what I have to say."
The words, spoken
quietly, were like a bucket of cold water thrown over his aroused body.
Duo pulled back further and looked into Heero's face as a feeling
of foreboding grew between the two. He knew what he had to say to Heero
might upset the other boy and that the only thing he didn't want
to hear from Heero was that it was over between them. Unsure of himself
and the situation, he looked into Heero's eyes to see they were guarded.
"Go ahead, I'm listening," he said.
Heero nodded, then
paused as if to consider his wording. "I have a confession to make,"
he began, his voice small as if he were ashamed of whatever was on his
mind. "Do you remember the day at the cabin you showed me Deathscythe's
Duo nodded, it was
a day he'd never forget, the one that was a part of his confession.
a message on my laptop of a transmission from Dr. J. I remember you were
sleeping when I left the safehouse and went to Wing and opened the channel
to receive my new mission orders." Heero paused, his eyes looked
as if he were pleading for Duo to understand. "G was there also,
and they had a long term mission for me."
shot up from his reclined position on the bed to sit upright. His eyes
were wide as his face lost all color and a look of horror came to it.
concerned because you'd attempted to self destruct several times
and that your continued existence was essential to winning the war,"
Heero continued, having risen to sit alongside the other dumbstruck teen.
"I was told to seduce you, to get you to fall in love with me so
that you'd have something to live for."
Duo jumped out of
bed to stand naked and stunned next to it. Betrayed, hurt, and knowing
he'd been manipulated not once, but twice by the two sick bastards
made his stomach threaten to empty itself on the hotel's carpet.
He wrapped his arms around his bare midriff in an attempt to hold himself
Heero's voice and arms came around from the behind him in an attempt
to hold him. Duo hadn't even been aware he'd gotten off the
bed, and violently shook the other's arms from off his body.
touch me, Heero," he warned, his voice and expression were dark and
listen to me," Heero implored, looking miserable.
"I was a mission,
right? You came onto me all those times just because I was a mission."
Heero was surprised
there wasn't as much accusation in Duo's tone than there was
the hint of a need for confirmation. He stepped closer, but kept his arms
at his side, his nudity not an issue. "I accepted the mission, Duo,
but you were never just a mission to me." The long-haired boy looked
up at the him with pained, liquid eyes and Heero could see his own expression,
looking unsure and upset, in their reflection. "I have always been
drawn to you Duo. When we first met, I did everything I could to find
out who you were. I even asked G for information."
Duo nodded, he'd
heard that much from the crazy coot when he'd received his mission
regarding Heero. Some of the hurt and shock he'd felt diminished
slightly at Heero's admission. Maybe the two old men hadn't
lied in order to manipulate their two pilots.
"But I couldn't
show you how I felt, that I really liked you and wanted to get to know
you better, to have a closer relationship with you. I had been trained
to believe that my personal feelings and needs weren't important
unless they pertained to my physical health; they weren't a part
of the war," he confessed in a quiet voice. "So I ignored my
previous growing curiosity and desire for you in order to focus on my
missions. Early in the war," he continued in a calm voice, "when
we had teamed together on missions, it was obvious to me that we worked
well together. But we were only teammates, comrades with a common goal.
Regardless of my training, I decided to learn how to be your friend. Then
you started touching me, without seeking permission or for any reasonable
cause. I wondered if maybe you felt something for me, and that gave me
hope. I thought at that time that maybe I could be content with just friendship
between us, but secretly I'd hoped for more. Then I received the
mission from Dr. J while we stayed at that cabin, and I was... elated.
It gave me permission to do something I'd wanted to for so long,
but hadn't been allowed to have because of my former restrictions.
I remember that night, Duo." Heero reached up and pushed some of
the hair hanging over the other boy's solemn face away from his eyes.
"I remember you touched me like this, and we talked. It was the start,
He waited until
Duo gave him a nod of his head, showing that he remembered that particular
moment too before he continued. "Then you were captured and injured
during the next mission." The eyebrows above the deep blue eyes pinched
together, the memory was obviously an unhappy one for him. "Even
with your injuries, we managed to get out of there and, after I'd
been shot, you risked your own health for my safety by protecting me with
your own body when the motorcycle crashed," Heero paused to brush
the fair cheek under his fingertips. "Did I ever thank you for that?"
he asked. As Duo's head tilted to rest his face against his open
palm, Heero continued. "When I woke up and learned from Wufei what
you had done, I think that was the moment I finally understood what it
felt like to care for someone enough to risk your life for them."
Duo lifted his hand
and put his fingers to Heero's lips, not needing to hear any more.
His own heart was beating rapidly now that it was his time to make a similar
confession. "Heero, that day at the cabin, I also received a mission,
identical to yours. I was instructed to seduce you, bind you to me so
that you would have a reason to live." He paused for a moment, watching
as Heero's eyes widened with surprise and his jaw dropped open. He
hurried on before he could be interrupted. "Dr. J said he'd
made an error in your training. That telling you to ignore your feelings
and not forming attachments made it easy for you to hit the self destruct
button. He believed that you were the hope of the colonies, that you would
win the war, so you had to survive to see the end of it." Duo shook
his head, a sad expression on his handsome face. "Damn if the bastard
wasn't right. You did save the Earth and brought about an end to
do it myself, Duo," Heero said, frowning.
Duo shrugged, not
wanting to get sidetracked. "I didn't want to accept the mission.
In fact, I was pretty damn upset at them for even suggesting it. But Dr.
J said I was the only person who had a chance of accomplishing the task
because you showed some sort of fascination for me. The two mad men decided
that your not-too-subtle curiosity about me could be used as a reason
for you to quit self-destructing. I guess they were right. Shit, I never
dreamed they'd give you the same order."
"Then you only
responded to me because you were ordered to? You weren't attracted
to me at all?" Heero asked, sounding and looking hurt and unsure
lie to you, Heero, when I said I'd never been with a guy before,"
Duo rushed to try and explain. "I honestly believed I was straight,
that is, I did until the moment you touched and kissed me in the shower,
then everything began to change. I tried to deny my feelings and my body's
reactions to you. I couldn't understand at first why I enjoyed your
kisses so much and got turned on by your touch." Duo put his hand
to his head and rubbed at his temple where a headache was beginning to
form. "I was so damned confused about what was happening to me. I
tried to tell myself that I was only following orders, giving you friendship
and affection in order to complete the mission, giving you something worth
living for while trying to remain at arm's length." He sighed
then. "But somewhere along the line it all changed."
Heero moved away
from Duo to sit dejectedly on the edge of the bed, his skin beginning
to tighten from the chill of the air-conditioner and goose bumps formed
all over his body as their recent passion cooled with the revelation of
their twin missions. "So we were both manipulated into a relationship,"
he said, looking dazed and suddenly fearful of what the disclosures would
mean to them. "Why would they do that to us?"
turned to Heero and his heart constricted. He couldn't bear to see
his lover so dispirited. He sighed and moved to sit on the bed next to
him. He pulled the top blanket from off the bed and threw it around both
of their bare backs and shoulders. "If those two aren't already
dead, I'm going kill them, slowly and with a lot of pain," he
Heero remained contemplative
and silent, no further comment coming from him, which made Duo nervous.
"Are you alright, Heero?"
The other boy nodded,
then sighed as his eyes remained focused on the floor. "I don't
like that we've been manipulated into a relationship, but I feel
strangely... grateful to them." His deep blue eyes rose to meet Duo's
concerned gaze before they quickly dropped again. "Maybe they really
believed we needed each other, that both of us would have a better chance
of surviving the war if he developed true feelings for each other. I know
that without the thought of you being here for me after the war, I might
not have pushed so hard to make it."
It was Duo's
turn to go silent, his eyes open but unseeing, leaving Heero unsure of
what the American was thinking, so he continued. "Dr. J knew me very
well. He'd trained me to be what he needed. He understood that I
wouldn't have acted on my own to form a relationship with you, but
that doesn't mean I didn't want you, Duo. I may have taken some
predetermined actions to gain your attention and to try and make you desire
me, but I can't say I'm sorry." His face and voice became
soft as he continued. "I'm not sure what I'm feeling is
love, but I do know that I've never felt for anyone what I feel for
you. I don't want to be without you. I know I need you, that you...
make me feel calm and excited at the same time. You make me want to be
a better man. Do you think that's love, Duo?" Having
asked the question that had been on his mind for so long, Heero then cautiously
looked askance from out of the sides of his eyes to the boy sitting next
to him to gauge his reaction. Seeing Duo looking at him wide-eyed, he
added. "I was afraid to tell you about the mission, afraid that you'd
be so angry that you would kick me out of your life. But I knew that if
we were going to have any kind of a relationship after the war, that I
had to tell you the truth. I want things to be right between us because
I do want there to be an us, Duo, regardless of how we got together."
With his shock and
resentment at Heero's confession diminishing, any anger Duo had felt
followed. His instinctively reached out for the other boy; his heart was
already residing in Heero's hands. "I fell in love with you,
Heero," he stated in an emotional voice. "I didn't understand
it at first. I denied it and tried to fight it, but I slowly came to the
realization that I need you, that I want to be with you in every way,
Heero. When I thought you might die during the last battle, I... I couldn't
imagine how I could go on living without you if you weren't in my
world, in my life. I know what I feel for you is love, and if you don't
mind my saying so, I think it's what you're feeling for me too."
Heero felt a flood
of relief course through him, and with a deep, relieved sigh, he turned
his body so he could pull a very willing Duo into his arms and held him
fast against his chest. "Are we okay?" he asked in a shaky voice,
the uncertainty that had been there earlier was still present. "Can
we get past this and try to make a life together now that the war is over?"
Duo's own arms
were wound around Heero, his fingers clinging to the blanket that was
barely covering the other boy's back. Heero's feelings for him
were being reaffirmed by the simple embrace and his humble words. "I
don't think I can make a life without you, Heero. I really believe
that if this is something we both want and if we work hard at it and not
quit when times get tough, we'll make it work. Is that what you want,
Heero answered, sounding convinced in his decision.
The two teenage
warriors continued to hold each other for a long time, drawing reassurance,
support and comfort from the contact. Chilled by the low temperature in
the room and their lack of clothing, they soon returned to the bed and
pulled all the covers up and over them. For hours they lay in a tangle
of arms and legs while they talked about the past and the future that
stood before them like an open doorway, where they were poised upon the
threshold of a new life that they were willing to step into together.
They made plans
for the next few weeks, agreeing to hide their gundams, avoid the press
and Relena, find jobs and share an apartment, a bed, and a life together.
As for their relationship, they would take it a day at a time. For the
moment, they temporarily tucked away the passion that had propelled them
into the room earlier, choosing to save it for another time when things
felt more settled. It was the kiss they shared just before falling asleep
that sealed their futures together, speaking more clearly of the strength
of their devotion to each other than any further words could express.
A new day had always held the element of the unknown to the two teenage
pilots and lovers and, for the first time in a very long time, the coming
new dawn was something they were both looking forward to.
[ch. 18] [back to
Singles a - k]