Author: Bane's Desire
see chao. 1 for warnings, disclaimer
Grudging Seduction: Chapter Seven
Upon waking, Duo was immediately
aware of a warmth along the left side of his body and that an arm rested
on top of the blanket covering his stomach. He opened his eyes and turned
his head to see a mop of dark brown hair in his line of vision, noting
it was Heero lying next to him. He raised his right arm carefully, feeling
the tight pull of the scabs on his healing flesh, and felt for his loose
hair. His finger tips found it tossed over his left shoulder and secured
tightly in Heero's hand. 'Hum, he really seems to like it,' he thought
to himself, then snorted at the very idea that the Perfect Soldier could
be attached to something he'd mentioned more than once as being frivolous.
The slight sound that escaped him roused Heero from his nap.
"Hello," the shaggy haired teen said, instantly alert and blinking
his eyes into focus and taking in the room as if to remind himself of
where he was.
"How long did we sleep?" Duo asked, fighting a yawn.
Looking at his watch, Heero answered. "Two hours, fifty-three minutes.
Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah, a bit. How about you?"
Heero rose up on his elbows to look down at the boy next to him. Like
last time, the kiss came to Duo without any warning, for suddenly Heero's
lips were on his own.
'Think of it as kissing a girl,' the braided teen reminded himself, forcing
his body to relax. Once he managed to ease some of the tension from his
body, he began to think about and feel what the other boy's mouth was
doing and that maybe the girls he'd kissed previously weren't all that
experienced because damn, Heero was one fine kisser. His technique was
perfect, Duo decided, as soft lips traced his own, seeking but not demanding,
wanting but not completely taking. Now if this was a girl he was kissing,
one that he really liked, Duo knew he'd probably put his arms around her
and draw her closer. Keeping his eyes closed, he followed that mental
picture and brought his good arm up and placed it on Heero's waist. Then
after a moment, he let it trail upward, feeling the skin under the material
of tank top ripple in reaction to his touch. He let his hand linger on
the bare shoulder and caressed it as the kiss deepened. Heero's tongue
pressed between his lips, requesting entry, and without thinking, Duo
opened them to him.
'Damn fine kisser,' his mind repeated as their tongues began to spar in
each other's mouth. He found it unexpectedly pleasurable to be exchanging
kisses with someone as aggressive and strong as Heero. He usually took
the lead when he'd had physical contact with girls, but now he found he
kind of liked sharing the control equally with Wing's pilot. Losing himself
to the kiss, he moved his hand upward to comb his fingers through Heero's
thick and unruly hair and instinctively pulled the strong and firm body
closer to his own, groaning as the other boy's weight came to rest more
fully on top of his own. And then the pain hit, bringing him instantly
back to awareness of his injuries, temporarily forgotten. The moan that
escaped his lips was no longer from pleasure. "Oh shit. Get off,
quick," he gasped, and was immensely relieved at how rapidly Heero
"Sorry," the blue-eyed pilot said, and though his voice seemed
unemotional, Duo heard just a hint of remorse in it.
Duo shook his head as he tried to catch his breath. "Got carried
away, I guess," he managed to say, trying to give the boy staring
down at him with concern etched on his face a reassuring smile, but with
the effort it took to lift the corners of his mouth, he was pretty certain
A few moments passed with neither boy speaking and while Duo composed
himself, he also refocused. G had said that he needed to bind Heero to
himself. He realized that he might have just blown it, stopping what had
promised to be a fantastic make-out session. Find things in common with
him, he told himself. Flatter him. Put him on the proverbial pedestal.
Those were the things he would do with a girl that he really wanted to
get to first or second base with; and it usually worked. But this was
different, and he had to question himself as to whether or not the same
tactics would work with Heero. He turned his head to look at the boy who
had haunted his thoughts lately, only to find that Heero was studying
him intently in return.
"Um.. You're a great kisser, Heero. I... I guess you've had a lot
The Japanese boy continued to peer in his eyes, and Duo found it a bit
disconcerting. Then, at last, the dark haired boy nodded. His index finger
rose to trace a feathery line down Duo's neck, starting just below his
ear and slowly moving past the racing pulse in his neck to the hollow
of his throat. With a deep, sultry voice, he replied. "I've been
fully trained in many areas having to do with physical intimacy,"
he replied, straight faced.
Duo stared at him, his eyes widening with understanding, his mouth having
fallen open. "You're shitting me. You were trained? By who? That
freak with all the metal appendages? Did you have sex with Dr. J?"
The American's voice had risen as he spoke and his face displayed not
only his shock, but repugnance at the thought of the old man touching
Heero's young body.
Heero, in turn, looked repulsed. "You have a very sick mind, Duo.
Of course I didn't have sex with J."
The braided teen gave a dramatic sigh of relief. "Thanks for saving
me from endless nightmares that image conjured up."
Heero reached over and smartly pinched the boy's uninjured arm, causing
Duo to squawk. "That's your punishment for thinking nasty thoughts."
Duo blushed. "Sorry," he said contritely. "So how did you
learn all that physical intimacy stuff?"
"In the last few months of my training, Dr. J decided I might need
to use other means of infiltrating by seducing people working for and
amongst the ranks of the enemy. He also deemed it prudent to prepare me
in case sexual assault was used as a method for interrogation should I
be apprehended. He hired a series of professional courtesans to instruct
me in art of seduction."
Duo's eyes remained large at Heero's words. "Damn, Heero. You were
what, fourteen years old? Don't you think that's kind of insane?"
"It was necessary," Heero countered. "As was all my training."
The braided teen was at an absolute loss for words. What could you say
to that? "Um, ..." he began hesitantly. "Were they male
or female... professionals?"
"Young or old?"
"Mid twenties," Heero replied with a slight shrug. "Old
enough to be experienced."
"Does this bother you?"
"Hell yes it bothers me," Duo gaped openly at the other boy
who seemed much too calm about the whole conversation. "J had no
right to do that to you."
Heero looked at him curiously, as if he didn't understand Duo's attitude.
"It was training, Duo. They didn't hurt me. In fact, it became quite
pleasurable once I understood it."
"'It' being sex."
"Yes." There was a moment's pause before Heero spoke again.
"Have you, Duo?
"Um... I haven't gotten past second base with a girl," he answered,
then realized he needed to clarify to Heero what that meant. "That
means I got to feel her up. You know, touch her boobs."
"Breasts," Heero corrected.
Duo shrugged. "But I haven't done anything with a guy before, like
I told you in the shower."
Several long moments of silence stretched out before Heero's finger tips
began to trace lightly along Duo's clavicle, moving softly across the
skin to the rounded shoulder where his fingers worked a series of circles
around it. As upset as he was about Heero's training, Duo found pleasure
at the touch and felt almost paralyzed, unable to move or speak while
those magic fingers moved southward to his pectoral muscles and traced
enticing circles there, brushing across his nipple. Despite all his efforts
not to make a sound, he hissed slightly while taking a sharp breath of
air into his lungs in reaction to it.
"I know what I'm doing, Duo." Heero's voice was deep and sultry,
causing the other boy to involuntarily shiver with pleasure. "I can
make your first time very, very pleasurable."
Duo wasn't even sure when Heero changed positions, but he knew the exact
moment the other boy's tongue licked one of the puckered nubs on his chest.
Despite his best attempts to be quiet, small sounds of pleasure passed
his lips, and the slight sound brought him back to his senses and that
he was losing control. He came abruptly out of his trance-like state and
back to rational thought. "Wait, Heero. Stop. Please," he pleaded,
pushing the other boy away from his body.
Damn, but his heart was racing again and the lower half of his body seemed
to have a mind of its own lately. "I'm just not ready, Heero. All
right?" He waited to say more until he got a reluctant nod from the
boy above him. "Listen, I'm still hurting and fifteen years old,
and while I know there's not specific age for it, I just kind of think
I'm not ready for sex yet. When I do finally have sex with someone, I
want it to really mean something, not just because it was something to
do to pass the time. Do you understand?"
Heero looked more confused than ever. "You don't want me?" He
asked with a frown forming on his face and Duo wondered if his feelings
were hurt. "Is it because I've had sex with prostitutes? I can assure
you safe sex was practiced and I've been tested and am clean of any sexually
"No!" Duo said, trying to reassure the other boy. "You're
not listening to me, Heero. I'm the problem, not you." He decided
he needed to try another tactic and then it suddenly dawned on him that
this was the perfect opportunity to set up his reasons for not having
sex with Heero but still binding him to him so he wouldn't self destruct.
"Listen, Heero." He began again with a serious attitude. "Sex
is a binding thing to most people. Once you have intimate relations with
someone you naturally become more emotionally attached to them, or so
I've been told. I've lost a lot of people in my life, people that I cared
deeply for. I don't want to lose anyone close to me again. If I were to
... um... have... intimate relations with you, it would be because I care
deeply for you. I know myself, Heero, I'd probably become emotionally
dependent on you and, if something should happen to you, if you should
die, I might not be able to carry on, to function properly. I don't think
either of us can promise we won't die, considering who we are and what
we do, so what direction would the war go if our side was to lose the
two of us?"
"There are no guarantees in life, Duo," Heero interjected, a
frown marring his handsome features. "Anyone at anytime can die,
and no doubt the battle for peace would carry on without us, maybe for
a longer period of time, but it would go on."
"You're right," Duo agreed. "But personally, I don't want
to set myself up for any more heartache. You've tried to self destruct
several times already. If you hold your life so cheap, you'll never survive
the war. Why would I want to become emotionally attached to you if you're
going to hit the self-destruct button every time something goes wrong?"
Heero continued to frown, obviously not liking the way the conversation
was going. His eyes seemed focused on something distant as he considered
Duo's words. Then with a nod of his head, he refocused and replied simply,
"I understand," then quickly moved himself off the bed and left
Duo's eyes followed him, not knowing if how the conversation ended was
a good or a bad thing. He lay there in the heavy silence of the room going
over the conversation they'd just had several times before coming to the
conclusion that nothing had changed. Heero had not given him any indication
that he was going to stop hitting that damn destruct button in Wing whenever
he was cornered. With a weary sigh, Duo realized he had his work cut out
It wasn't until their evening meal was ready that Heero came back into
the room to help the injured teen off his bed, down the stairs and to
the kitchen. With a hand gripping his left elbow, the braided teen was
led by the other boy to the small, square table with four chairs set on
each side. The table was already set with two place settings for their
forthcoming meal. A feeling of uneasiness hung between the two that was
uncomfortable and continued as Heero dished up the meal from the stove
top and brought the filled plates to the table. Duo smiled with gratitude
to the chef of the hour for the chicken vegetable stir-fry that sat on
a bed of rice.
After taking a bite and finding Heero's meal tasted as good as it looked,
Duo ventured to break the silence between them. "This is great, Heero.
Where'd you learn to cook like this?"
Duo wasn't surprised by the answer. "Never learned to cook myself,"
he admitted with a shrug. "Not like this anyway. If we were lucky
enough to catch a rat or even a rare cat when I lived on the streets,
one of the older kids would skin it and then take out the innards. We
always had to hunt around for some kind of improvised skewer, a wire or
metal pole, and we took turns holding the carcass over a fire to cook
it, that is if we were lucky enough to find something that burned. Otherwise,
we stole food from markets and ate what we snatched while on the run so
that if we got caught there wasn't any evidence, we'd have already eaten
it. I really wouldn't call that cooking." he shrugged and put another
fork full of food into his mouth and continued speaking, his mouth full.
"But don't worry, Howard showed me how to cook the basics over a
stove: eggs, grilled cheese sandwiches, maccaroni and cheese, you know,
the good stuff." He swallowed and put another fork full of chicken
and broccoli into his mouth, then looked up to see Heero's eyes staring
steadfastly at him.
"What?" He wondered if he had something stuck between his teeth
or dribbling off his chin to cause Heero to look at him in such an odd
way. Heero's eyes lingered on his face for a moment, his expression unreadable,
then he seemed to come to his senses and waved off Duo's question.
Duo sighed in frustration. "Jeez Heero, are ya gonna give me the
silent treatment all night? Come on, man, help me out here a little bit.
I'm just not up to carrying the whole conversation tonight."
He was about to give up, but Heero's penetrating eyes didn't look away
from him, but they seemed to be looking for something... within Duo, maybe
trying to understand him a bit more.
"Do you plan on surviving the war, Duo?"
Heero's sudden question caught the normally quick-witted boy off guard.
He looked from Heero's expressionless face down to his plate, which he
studied for several long moments as he thought about his reply. Slowly,
he raised his eyes up to look at his teammate. "I didn't really come
into the war with a death wish, not for me that is," he replied with
a skewed grin. Then getting more serious, he continued. "I don't
think I want to die before I find out if life really is any better than
what I know from the streets of the hell I grew up on. But if I have to
die during battle, trying to bring peace to the colonies, then so be it."
"You've tried to self destruct also."
Duo raised an eyebrow, wondering how Heero had found out about that failed
incident. Here again, he noticed that Heero wasn't asking if he had or
not, but that he stated a fact. "How'd you know about that?"
There was a bit of challenge to Duo's whole demeanor. He didn't know if
he felt comfortable with someone knowing him as well as Heero seemed to.
"I have my ways."
That was all there was to his answer, and Duo realized Heero was not going
to elaborate. He could probably weasel it out of him, but tonight he just
didn't feel up to it. The scabs that were forming on his thrashed skin
were tight and itchy and his body and head were aching and throbbing.
So instead of arguing, Duo sighed and returned to focus on his meal, determined
to fill his empty stomach before going back upstairs to bed.
Silence passed for several minutes with only the sound of metal forks
hitting the ceramic plates as the two finished their meal. "What
if I told you that I feel the same? That I don't want to be emotionally
attached to someone who believes they are expendable?"
Duo looked up at Heero with an expression of shock on his face. He knew
how little value Heero held his own life, other than his being a soldier
and trying to single-handedly win the war, but did Heero really believe
that of him? He wondered what he'd said or done to have led the other
pilot to come up with that interpretation, that he didn't believe his
life had value, that he believed the war was the only thing he lived for?
Damn, he thought, that was supposed to be Heero's line of reasoning. "Is
this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?" he asked, a grin
starting to form.
Heero, for his part, continued to stare at him soberly, waiting for an
answer to his questions. Another crossroads, Duo thought wearily. He hoped
that Heero was beginning to question the validity of his past belief,
that one man's life is cheap when spent in a just cause for the betterment
of mankind. Duo's thoughts had, at one time, run along a similar line
of thinking, believing that an orphaned thief from L-2 would not be missed
in the grand scheme of things if he should die. But his feelings about
that had changed slightly over time, as did his life. Now, as the pilot
of Deathscythe, he knew his death or capture would cause him to be sorely
missed by his fellow pilots and have an effect on the war effort. As long
as Deathscythe existed and the colonies were oppressed, he had a job to
do and there was a definite purpose for his life. He was determined that
he alone would pilot the black gundam, harbinger of death, destruction,
and eventually, hopefully, peace and hope to the people of the colonies.
As for the future? Well, he didn't have a death wish, but it was to gray
and blurry for him to spend too much time thinking about it. He figured
it was better to worry about today and let tomorrow take care of itself.
"My life isn't cheap anymore, Heero." Duo finally answered the
other boy's question while looking up into the dark blue eyes patiently
waiting. "I'm the pilot of Deathscythe, and at the moment, that's
what matters the most. I think the only reason I'd ever try to self-destruct
again would be if my gundam was in risk of falling into the enemy's hands.
But I would make damn well sure that I was all out of options before I
hit that button."
Heero nodded, he understood Duo's line of thinking all too well. "I
feel the same," he said quietly.
The conversation ended with the meal, and Heero cautiously followed behind
his wounded companion as he made his slow and careful way back up the
stairs to the bedroom and his bed.
[ch. 6] [ch. 8] [back
to Singles a - k]