Warning: AU. Sex. Lots of it. Perverted Treize. And even though it's turning
into a series, I'm not even going to insult anyone's intelligence by saying
that it has anything resembling a plot. 1x2, talk of 13x5 and 2x5/5x2,
and 3x4 (anyone catch that?)
Feedback: I love it! I will try to answer each review individually, so
please leave your addy
Disclaimer: Don't own it, them, or me, so there.
Summary: After a bad day, a wonderful night and morning, and a stressful
and embarrassing afternoon, what will Heero have to say to Duo now? Heh
he... but first...
at Pub in a Tub
+ Part 3
Since the beginning of time, there have been certain facts that every
man should understand. A man should act like a man: strong, willful, strong-willed,
brave, fair, and intelligent (though the last was the least important
in some societies). Chang Wufei was one such man, fulfilling the required
quota and then some. Treize Kushrenada was another such man.
Ideally, these men would share some common ground, the similarities between
them numerous, if rather vague. They lived in the same building, had college
degrees, were respectable, respected, well liked, handsome, strong, sexy,
and both had at one point had the hots for Duo Maxwell. Okay, so maybe
they shared more in common than Wufei liked to admit.
That didn't mean that he was going to agree with the older man on everything.
Varying opinions make relationships more interesting, no matter how platonic
or sexual they are, and Wufei was very proud of the fact that he could
back up his beliefs in a logical and well- thought out manner, even under
the greatest of stress.
"Stand back or I will gut you!" Black eyes shone in fury as
Wufei's katana arced out, narrowly missing Treize's arm as the older man
stepped back quickly. "I don't appreciate being cornered in my apartment
by you, you hentai-minded, sex-fiend!"
"But `Fei," the other man spoke in a cajoling voice. "You
invited me in."
"I invited you in to fix the plumbing, not to ravish me!" The
ginger- haired man smiled as Wufei took another step back and edged to
the left. He enjoyed a good chase and Wufei seemed only too happy to keep
"Darling," Treize said as he cut off the dark-haired man's exit
route. "I'm here to fix -your- plumbing."
The silence was maddening. They had walked away from the resort in silence,
they had climbed into Heero's car in silence, and they had driven to the
edge of the city in silence. Now Heero was leading Duo up the stairs of
a split-level condominium.
They bypassed the door to the bottom condos and unlocked the door to the
top studio with a magnetic card key. Heero pushed the door open and motioned
Duo inside, still not saying a word. The hallway was shadowy, but maneuverable.
Duo walked into the apartment and looked around. "Wow," he said,
his voice breaking the wall of silence between them.
The door shut. "I've been living here for three years. The neighbors
are friendly, the view is nice, and the walls are soundproof." Duo
smiled and turned around to comment on the last, but Heero was already
close. He bit back a gasp as Heero placed his hands on Duo's shoulders
and pushed him back into the wall gently.
They kissed, their lips opening to receive restless tongues and gasps
as their bodies pressed close together. Heero pressed his groin into Duo's,
and the braided man lifted his leg and wrapped it around Heero's hip.
Their belt buckles clashed and their cocks brushed together through cloth.
Duo gasped and Heero moaned, both swallowing the noises of the other as
they rocked together.
Heero grabbed Duo's butt with one hand and lifted him up, fitting their
bodies tighter together. In response, Duo wrapped both legs around Heero
and locked his ankles behind Heero's back. They rubbed against each other,
their hands clenching hair as their mouths and tongues danced in a mimicry
Duo could feel the pressure building, the friction of their rubbing sending
him into a mindless state as he tried to crawl into Heero, his tongue
diving for Heero's tongue and then coming back up to stroke tongue and
mouth and teeth, over and over again. He groaned in protest when Heero
broke their kiss, but sighed in pleasure when the blue-eyed man dove for
He moved his hands from Heero's hair and gripped his shoulders. His legs
tightened, increasing the friction between their erections. Suddenly,
Heero stiffened and tightened his grip. Duo paused, breathless. For a
long moment, neither moved, and then Duo whispered softly, "If you
fall asleep this time, I'm going to let you hit your head."
A tongue licked his neck, making him shudder. "I didn't plan on falling
asleep," Heero replied, his voice low and dry. He licked at Duo's
"So, you planned on falling asleep the last two times?" asked
Duo, raising one eyebrow and smiling. He felt Heero's body shake slightly
"My pants are a mess," Heero commented wryly, making Duo chuckle
at the inanity of that statement. "We should probably move this on
to a bedroom."
"I knew it! You're just ready to go to sleep again," Duo wouldn't
mind in the least, if he at least didn't get stuck under the other man
for a third time. Heero shifted, drawing back enough to look into Duo's
face, his eyes serious. They kissed again, this time a gentle joining
of their lips.
Disgruntled? That was probably as good a word as any other to use, Duo
thought. He was sitting at the table in Heero's kitchen, his legs up on
the chair in front of him as he lounged back, his fingers tapping rapidly
on the wooden surface.
His violet eyes were glaring at the far wall, where the clock was ticking
itself towards five in the evening. He looked into the other room, where
Heero was, and wilted, his anger fading quickly. Heero hadn't fallen asleep
in the hallway. Oh, no. He had waited until they were making out on the
couch before he simply drifted into slumber, Duo's erection in one hand
and the braid in the other. Like the times before, he had simply drifted
off shortly after he brought Duo to climax, as if that was some sort of
internal cue to pass out. At least Duo hadn't had to fight his way out
from underneath him that time.
With a look at his watch, Duo stood up. He placed a blanket over Heero
on the couch and went to the phone. He'd already been waiting half an
hour for the other man to wake up, but he didn't know how long that would
take and he didn't feel like sitting around to time the event, either.
He called a taxi and stared at Heero until it arrived.
"Where to, buddy?" The taxi-driver asked when Duo had shut the
"The Pub in a Tub, please," Duo said tiredly, leaning back against
the bead-covered seat. The driver nodded and they were off, leaving Heero's
apartment behind them as they drove to the opposite side of the city.
"Explain this to me again," Tayles commanded, leaning against
the bar in rapt fascination. The other four early-evening guests were
forgotten as Duo recounted the previous twenty-four hours to her in a
monotone, his voice quiet as he stared down into his shot glass.
"Three times, Tayles. Three times!" He all but shouted. He lowered
his voice and looked up at her earnestly. "Every time I reach orgasm,
he passes out. It's not fair. I'm a repeat performer, but he doesn't stay
awake long enough for the encore!"
The bartender looked at him for a second in silence, and then broke out
laughing. She tried to regain her composure, but it took a moment. "Oh,
Duo. I am so sorry." An eyebrow rose in disbelief as she tried unsuccessfully
to hide another giggle behind her towel. "And to think that I thought
he was The One when you two left last night."
"Yeah, well... so did I," he mumbled at the counter top before
he swigged the straight tequila shot and set the glass back down. "It
was perfect, too. I have -never- jumped at a guy like that before. I should
have known. The perfect guy just doesn't pop out of nowhere."
"Ah, poor Duo." A snide voice broke in as a blonde took the
seat next to Duo. He looked at the fork-browed woman from earlier with
dismay. "I should have known that I'd catch you in this no-class
establishment, drowning away the sorrows of a Yuy-broken heart. You're
not the first, sugar, and you won't be the last."
Tayles looked the woman over and took an instant dislike to her. "And
One forked brow rose and the woman answered snidely, "None of your
business." While Tayles seethed with anger, she returned her attention
to Duo. "However, -you- may call me Dorothy."
"How about I call you a cab instead?" Tayles offered with a
growl, glaring at `Dorothy', her gray-blue eyes dark with anger. She didn't
like the woman, the attitude, or the eyebrows, and she didn't feel like
putting up with any of them.
That brought Dorothy's attention back to the bartender, the two women
glaring at each other for a moment, and Duo sighed, knowing that nothing
good could come from such a confrontation. He was about to intervene when
Heero sat down on his left. He didn't even have to turn his head to know
that it was the blue-eyed man. The hair on the back of his neck was prickling,
his body aware of the presence of the other man.
"I'm sorry," Heero said softly, leaning close to Duo's shoulder.
"Well, if it isn't the man of the hour!" Dorothy exclaimed,
turning her attention away from Tayles in a dismissing manner. The bartender
blinked and gaped, before scrunching up her face and sticking her tongue
out. "Or should I say, the man of the evening, since you've lasted
almost a whole day."
Heero looked at her and Duo rolled his eyes. Heero greeted her politely.
"Dorothy. What brings you to this side of town?"
"Truffle-hunting." Tayles muttered under her breath, already
pouring a glass of ice water for Heero. She set the spray tap back into
its holder, set the glass on the table and began to move away to serve
another customer before she said something that someone would regret.
Duo smothered a smile and turned to look into the mirror behind the bar.
"I'm just here to scope out your new play-toy, Heero. I'd hate to
think that you were trying to make Relena jealous with your attempts to
socialize with unsavory companions."
"I'm not a steak," Duo said, glancing at her out of the corner
of his eye. "And if Heero wants to make her Highness jealous with
me, you can back off, because I, for one, am not complaining."
"Oh, I'm impressed. And here I thought that you were just a pretty
face. It seems that the spit and fire I saw earlier wasn't just a fluke.
I -do- like that in a man."
"Hands off, Dorothy," another voice commanded as Treize sat
down on Dorothy's right. "If Duo won't be my toy, he won't be yours,
"You must be slipping in your old age, Treize," Dorothy rejoined.
"In the old days, the guttersnipe would have been yours, no matter
who he was calling master at the time."
"Guttersnipe?" Tayles glared at Dorothy as she passed by on
her way to get a drink for another customer. Duo and Heero were the only
two to notice her, and the former offered a thin smile.
"I'm not slipping, Dorothy. I've just learned that drawing unsuspecting
victims into my web gets tedious after awhile. Right now, I'm on the hunt
for a new kind of prey."
"I'm not to be hunted, pervert." Wufei muttered as he sat down
on Heero's left and ordered a cup of tea from the still glaring bartender.
"Unless you really want to find out how sharp my sword can be."
Duo groaned and collapsed against the bar. The only thing missing to make
his day complete was a visit from Hilde or Relena. He felt Heero gently
rub his back and was grateful for the small show of support.
"I wouldn't lower myself to play with such refuse, Treize, and I'm
offended that you would even assume that I would."
"You play with lower specimens that Duo everyday, why should it surprise
me that you'd come up in the world?"
"Touché, Treize. That was a smooth rejoinder for such a vapid
nymphomaniac who once slept with his own gardener for lack of a better
partner." Four pairs of eyes turned to Treize to see his reaction,
but he merely laughed.
"He wasn't a gardener, Dorothy, but it's just like you to be too
busy looking at the rest of his assets instead of his face. The gardener,
the pizza boy, and the French maid were all the same person. I can't help
it if Zechs liked to playact." Wufei snorted, Duo and Dorothy rolled
their eyes, and Heero and Tayles stared at him in surprise. He shrugged.
"Unlike you, who actually believed that I would lower myself just
to compete with you on the number of tricks we could turn in a week."
"You were with Zechs the whole time?" she asked, eyes narrowed.
He nodded and she growled. "You bastard! Do you realize that I even
sunk so low as to sleep with a junior exec at Catalonia Enterprises? Ugh!"
"You're a real snobby slut, aren't you?" asked another woman
derisively. Duo stiffened before turning to look at Hilde. She smiled
at him. "Hey, `cuz! What's up? I see that you're keeping interesting
company these days!"
"Just wait, I'm sure that it'll get better," Duo mumbled sarcastically.
Thankfully, Tayles chose that moment to place another drink on the bar,
and he shot it back quickly, hoping that the alcohol would numb his brain
before things could get any worse.
"Dorothy? Heero? -Treize-? What are you doing here?" Relena
asked shrilly as she appeared in the doorway to the pub. Duo almost burst
into tears, but was saved by Tayles, who set a whole bottle of liquor
in front of him with a sympathetic smile.
"Drink up, guv. No sense going down with the ship if you can go down
before it sinks." She looked at the rest of her customers and wished
that she could join him.
Heero carried Duo out of the
pub about halfway through the bottle of tequila, when a woman named Sally
and two men showed up. His first indication that things had escalated?
The fact that Duo had looked up and started laughing so hard that he fell
off the stool. Twice. The braided man was drunk and giggly, his body a
wriggling mass as Heero tried to carry him gently. He started towards
his car, but thought better of that when Duo started moaning in an unpleasant
way and complained that his `stomach feels all icky and oohhh". He
waved down a taxi instead, glad that even though the buses didn't run
in that direction, the taxis did. Duo giggled as he was slid into the
back seat of a yellow cab, and then laughed outright when Heero slid in
beside him and shut the door.
"Ha ha! You're too drunk to drive!" Duo said, loud and gleefully.
"Yous've been drinkin'!"
"Actually," Heero corrected, "I haven't had anything stronger
than water. You are smashed, however."
"I am, aren't I?" Duo agreed, waving a hand in front of his
Heero sighed and leaned against the corner of the door and the seat as
Duo stared in fascination at the lights outside of the window. He gave
the driver instructions to his apartment and settled back to watch his
drunken companion complain as the car started moving "too fast...
too fast! I'm gonna barf!"
The complaining erupted into laughter, the laughter giggling, and the
giggling into mumbling as Duo crossed the line from drunken stupor to
drug-induced sleep. Heero simply watched him with dark eyes and a small,
Duo knew the moment he gained consciousness that his headache wouldn't
be half as bad as the embarrassment of knowing that he'd gotten smashed
in front of a crowd of people that he'd have to face in the future, including
Heero. The second thing he knew when his mind began to work was that he
wasn't in -his- bed, he wasn't wearing clothes, and he wasn't alone.
"Good morning," a quiet voice greeted in his ear, warm air washing
over the lobe and making him shiver. The arms around Duo's waist shifted,
drawing him closer against Heero's -naked- body. Duo grinned, snuggling
close and closing his own hands over Heero's.
"Good morning, beautiful," Duo returned the greeting with a
happy smile. "I could get used to waking up like this."
"How do you feel?" asked Heero gently, his nose nuzzling Duo's
"Head ache is minimal, pride is shattered, and I'd really rather
see no one from last night for the rest of my life. I don't even want
to know what happened last night."
"You and your cousin drank Dorothy and Treize under the table, after
which, Wufei took Treize home and Relena took Dorothy home. The blonde
and his lover got kicked out for getting frisky in the bathroom, your
cousin and her roommate helped take them home, and your friend the bartender
said that she's charging everything to your account."
"Good, then I didn't do anything really stupid." Duo breathed
a sigh of relief before he realized that Heero's body was shaking with
laughter. "What did I do?"
"Don't worry, it was on the ride home. I think the next time you
see the cab driver, he'll be the one that runs the other way, red in the
face," he paused, as if drawing it out for dramatic tension. Duo
wasn't amused. He grunted and tried to pull away, but Heero held him tight.
"You fell asleep in the cab, but woke up a few minutes before we
made it home. You climbed into the front seat and fell into his lap. If
you hadn't fallen asleep again, I think you would have given him the...
'ride' of his life."
"Oh, God," Duo groaned, feeling his cheeks flush. He wanted
to defend himself and tell Heero that he wasn't that easy, that he didn't
just give head to random guys, but his behavior of the last couple days
seemed to contradict anything he could say, so he stayed silent.
"Don't worry. I rescued you before he could help by unbuttoning his
pants. The bastard thought you were a woman and was all willing until
you mumbled something in your sleep something about reciprocating and
grabbed your crotch."
Duo cringed. "Kill me now."
"Then you threw up once we got you out of the car. Once on the sidewalk
in front of the building, once on each flight of stairs, once outside
my door, once in the bathroom, and three times on me during which you
managed to miss every surface that didn't include my clothing or skin."
"Gah!" wailed Duo. He collapsed against Heero and the bed, sighing
in defeat. There was no way that Heero would want anything to do with
him after that. "I'm sorry."
"For what? Being a magnet that attracts weird people? For drinking
to get away from all the weird people you attract? For being so beautiful
that no one can resist you?" The last was kissed against Duo's neck.
"Please, no matter what else happens, don't let me wake up from this
dream," Duo murmured as Heero shifted him to his back and leaned
over him, his messy brown hair falling over his eyes as he gazed down
"It's not a dream. How often do you dream in NC-17?"
"Up until meeting you, never. Since then... I've had some -very-
nice dreams about you," Duo answered smartly, wrinkling his nose
and smiling at Heero playfully. "I'd love to show you some of them."
"Mmm. Later. First, I think we have to finish waking up," Heero
said as he pressed his lips against Duo's. Something tickled Duo's neck
and it took him a moment to realize that Heero was playing with his braid,
trailing the tip over Duo's skin. "I love your hair."
"Yeah, well... I'm rather fond of it myself, but at the moment I
think it's distracting you from the really important things. Like me."
Duo flashed him a smile and leaned forward, searching for and finding
Heero's mouth with his own. "Now get back to the kissing and petting
before you pass out on me."
"About that... " Heero pulled back again, making Duo sigh in
"Later, babe. Right now, I'd rather finish waking up before we take
a nap together." He tried to speak lightly, but there was a hint
of impatience in his voice. Heero regarded him for a few seconds more,
and then crushed their lips forcibly together. The times before, there
had been an underlying gentleness, a slow tender feeling throughout their
mating. This time, Heero's mouth and hands seemed rushed, almost desperate.
Heero's cock pressed against Duo's entrance with no warning or preparation.
He didn't push in, but Duo was left with the distinct feeling that his
control was paper-thin and shredding even as they rubbed together. Hands
gripped his thighs tightly, spreading his legs further even as Heero drew
a nipple into his mouth and tongued it roughly.
They twisted on the bed, their bodies glistening with sweat, their breathing
heavy as they clutched each other closely. When Heero finally did push
into him, the pain threatened to take away all of Duo's pleasure. He winced
as Heero surged again and again, his body relaxing gradually as a hand
stroked his cock. The other man climaxed first and his seed shot into
Heero stopped and collapsed on top of Duo, leaving him unsatisfied, in
pain, and trapped. For the fourth time in less than forty-eight hours,
Heero had fallen asleep.
A tear leaked out of the corner of Duo's eye as he closed them both, his
head falling back against the pillow. One hand stroked Heero's hair as
the other man lay lax against him, their bodies still joined. "This
really sucks, Heero. You fall asleep, you -can- be rough, you only seem
to want me for the sex, and the only thing I can do is hope that when
you wake up, you'll still want at least my body, because I think I'm falling
in love with you."
End note: Poor Duo... *sniffle*... I really think that Heero has issues.
And we all know that Duo does. Sorry that I skimped on the lemon. It's
not NCS, but it's not my happy go lucky PWP anymore, either. Don't worry,
I don't tend to dwell in depression very often or for very long.
[part 4] [back to
the Singles page]