Pairings: None yet
Warnings: AU. Some shounen-ai
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. Everything else is. Everything.
+ Part 11
"And then he kissed you?"
"It was an accident. It wasn't like I asked him to; I didn't want him to."
"Did you like it?"
"Why is everyone asking me that? I didn't want him to. You think
that just because he shoved his lips in my face I'm going to swoon and
fall into his arms? How shallow do you think I am? Geez."
Marjorie shrugged and offered Duo her cigarette. He turned his head and waved her away. She shrugged. She knew he didn't smoke.
"I already told you he's a creep."
Marjorie smiled. She was 38 years old; too young to be his mother and too old to be his peer. Still, their relationship was closer to mother and son than to two friends. She exhaled and smiled.
"You know it's usually the ones you hate the most that become the most important to you. I hated my husband when we first met."
"And now you're as happy as a pair of ducks and you sit in your little house with your 2.17 kids and laugh about the time when you wished the other would slowly get compacted in a freak garbage accident, right?" Marjorie laughed and then followed it up with a deep cough.
"Something like that."
"Well Marge, contrary to popular belief, everyone who tortures you is not secretly harboring undying love for you. Heero Yuy is an annoying son of a bitch who deliberately tries to get on my nerves. He does it for fun. Possibly he wants to sleep with me, but we don't share any lifelong emotional bond. I am not secretly waiting for him to ride up to my window on a white stallion and sweep me off my feet. I do not have a Heero Yuy shrine in the corner of my room where I make sacrifices three times daily to his holy visage. I do not stalk him and steal his jockstrap when he goes to the gym. I am not even his buddy; we do not go out drinking together or watch football in our underwear, and I would be more than happy if he were to disappear off the face of the earth never to be seen again. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. I do not like Mr. Heero Yuy. End of story." Marjorie laughed as she got up and scuffed out her cigarette with her boot.
"Well, as much as I enjoy our little chats Mr. Maxwell, it's time to be getting back to work. I know a certain surveillance room that's got your name on it." Duo grumbled as he got up and followed Marjorie back into the building. "Maybe tonight's the night you'll get to subdue that break-in you've been hoping for with your superstar shooting skills."
"I swear, I'm an ace at the range and no one tests me-I'm growing old over here."
"Watch it mister. Some of us resemble that remark."
"Don't worry Marge, you won't have to worry about finding a retirement home for five years at least. I'll make sure you get a nice nurse and ice cream two nights a week."
When Duo got home the lights were out and Trowa was nowhere to be found. Duo yawned, scratched his head, and went to the closet to find some nightclothes to change into. As he walked by the phone he noticed the answering machine light was on- a message. He pressed the button and took off his shirt.
"You have...three...new messages."
"Mmm, aren't I popular."
"Message one...received today at...three fifty seven PM. Hey Duo, this is Professor Kerigg"
"Just calling to see how your roommate is working out. Class has been so busy the past couple of weeks I haven't had a chance to ask properly. Hope all is well-See you on Monday. Beep! ...Message two...received today at...seven nineteen PM. Duo, this is Trowa. I'm at Quatre's and won't be coming home tonight. Quatre and I have several things to discuss. Tomorrow. Beep!"
"Weird." Duo pulled on his pajama pants as the last message began to play.
"Message three...received today at...ten sixteen PM. Hello precious. Couldn't stop thinking about you and those luscious lips of yours. Let's go out baby, you and me. Trowa knows my number. Eagerly awaiting your call-Heero."
"Gah!" Duo immediately covered his naked chest when he heard Heero's voice. After two seconds he realized that Heero wasn't there and there wasn't actually anything for him to be worried about. Except possibly the fact that Heero Yuy knew his phone number and was leaving suggestive messages on his machine. Duo reached out and pressed ‘erase.'
"You know if you don't get up you'll be late."
"Are you getting up?"
"I'm not getting you up anymore Duo."
"M'kay. M'going back to sleep."
"Yes Professor?" Duo yawned and then tried to cover it up with his hand.
"Are you getting enough sleep?" Prof. Kerigg looked at him with a concerned expression on his face.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Prof. Kerigg pulled on his beard a little before answering.
"Well, I just asked you how Trowa's been working out and you said, and I quote, ‘Only if you add butter, because otherwise there's no fat.'" Duo blinked.
"Well...I mean, you understand that right? The butter-" Duo tried desperately to make it work, but Prof. Kerigg just shook his head and laughed.
"You've yawned approximately every six seconds since we sat down to lunch and only 12% of the food you picked up has made it to your mouth."
"...You've been counting?"
"I am a math professor Duo. The point is not that I can calculate how many times you've yawned or how much you've eaten. I just want to make sure you've been sleeping enough. Is Trowa not working out for you?"
"No, no...no...he's fine. He's great, actually. He pays his half of the rent on time and doesn't make too much noise. He's a nice guy to chat with. His friends though..." Duo put his head in his hand. This lack of sleep was giving him a headache.
"Trouble with his friends then?" Duo nodded without looking up.
"Most of ‘em are okay, nice even, if a little weird. This one guy though, total creep, keeps hitting on me and trying to drive me crazy. He calls me all the damn time! Every time I'm about to go to sleep the phone rings." Prof. Kerigg smiled.
"And that's why you're not getting any sleep?" Duo nodded again. "Why does he call at all hours, if I my ask?" Duo groaned.
"He keeps asking me out." Prof. Kerigg raised one blond eyebrow. Duo gritted his teeth and clarified, "On a date. He knows I don't want to go out with him. I don't know why he thinks phone-stalking me is going to make me want him." Prof. Kerigg thought about that for a while.
"Have you just told him ‘no'?" Duo looked straight at him.
"This guy wouldn't understand the word ‘no.' I don't think it's in his vocabulary." Duo put his head down and rested his forehead on the table. It was nice and cool and he could feel himself drifting off....
"Just try it Duo. You never know what he'll say until you try it." Prof. Kerigg put his hand on Duo's shoulder. "Plus you can't go to sleep here at the table. You've got more classes." Duo shuddered, and with a very concentrated effort, raised his head.
"M'know, Prof." He smiled weakly.
"Just promise me you'll try it, okay?" Prof. Kerigg smiled back.
"Hi, you've reached the home of Duo Maxwell and Trowa Barton. We're not home right now, so please leave a message at the tone and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Beep! Hey precious-"
"Great. I'll pick you up at seven on Friday. Wear something sexy."
[part 12] [back
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