When Fallen Angels Fly + Part Seven (cont)

Everyone had their own sense of justice. You could not be given your justice.. Wufei had made a mistake when he adopted Meiran’s, because it was not his purpose, but hers. It ate at him, when he could not live up to the image of her he had built in his mind. But that was no more fair to her than it was to him. He knew then, to continue fighting, he had to have his own purpose. Not Meiran’s any longer.

"Don't hurt yourself by thinking too much, Wu," Duo's softly amused voice cut through his heavy thoughts.

Wufei's dark eyes, so black in the night, focused on Duo, pinning them with the intensity of the emotions moving inside of him.

Duo's breath caught somewhere inside of him, and the flash of desire that jolted through him was so violent, he had to grab onto the railing to steady himself. The way Wufei was looking at him... was almost predatory. But there was a gentleness in those eyes that he knew was reserved for only him, and it touched his heart, leaving a warmth that he had to close his eyes against.

Arousal was something easy to explain and deal with, but love was another thing entirely. He wanted Wufei not only because he was attracted to him, but also because he loved him. And while that scared him deep into his soul, he was not about to give it up.

Wufei watched those impossibly dark lashes lower over eyes he had grown to love staring in to. Duo was such a complexity. He was light and he was dark. He was laughter and he was solemnity. He was strong, and he was special, so very special. Just being around him lifted you up, because Duo genuinely cared. He shared himself with everyone, regardless of the costs and gave and gave until he had nothing left to give. He was reckless, stubborn, and a smartass, but he was Wufei's smartass.

"Yes," Wufei murmured to himself, "mine."

No matter how you shot him down, or how many times, Duo kept trying to get through. His laughter brought Wufei light, and his humor made Wufei smile. Wufei valued his honesty, treasured his intelligence, and admired his skills in battle. He loved the sound of Duo's voice, wanted to touch his soft hair any chance that he could be given, and had begun looking for any excuse to be in the same room with the pilot without having even known it. It was why, he knew, he put up with Duo's antics while pretending to be annoyed. In truth, he held on to every moment spent in this beautiful person's presence and looked back on them when he most needed it. In short, he loved Duo.

And he wasn't even sure how to tell him.

Duo's eyes fluttered opened, disappointment flooding through him at the amount of air still separating them.

He wanted Wufei at this moment, wanted to bond with him body and heart, and could not see any way around the ache. The only way to make it go away, was to assuage it, so that it could come back, and he could make it go away again and again.

"Wu-"

"Shh." Wufei interrupted him. And then, he was closing the distance between them.

Reaching his arm out, Wufei drew Duo slowly to him, until their bodies melted into one another and breath, after shaky breath, fanned across heated cheeks. Lips parted in answering need and mutual ache, and arms came up to cling.. Wufei reached down and pulled the tie from Duo's hair in one easy yank, running his fingers up the braid until the mahogany mass spilled around them, reflecting colors in the moonlight. At the deft, gentle touch of Wufei's fingers delving deep into his hair, Duo was helpless to stop a shudder from twisting through him and a breathless gasp of pleasure from escaping his lips.

He had never needed so much before, had never felt so much before. It was as if he wanted to crawl into Wufei's skin with him, to get as close as he could until nothing separated them.

Wufei closed his eyes briefly, reveling in the feel of Duo's surprisingly strong body pressed against his own. Heat reached through his clothing, searing his skin and leaving him trembling. Power tingled along every nerve at being able to produce such reactions in Duo, and the knowledge of it was both welcome and intoxicating. With that knowledge, he combed deeper into Duo's hair, pressing his fingers softly to his scalp, so that he could turn his face to his and slowly pull him closer. Their eyes remained open, endless black and deep blue, so that all they saw and all they felt was each other.

The wind blew softly across them, sending silken strands of Duo's hair against the bareness of Wufei's arm. The fragrance of vanilla filled his senses, leaving him surrounded by and reeling from the scent that always clung to Duo. The lighter of the two reached up his hands and slid them on either side of Wufei's face, watching with rapt fascination as the other swallowed hard and his tongue darted out to wet suddenly dry lips. Instinctively, Duo curved his hips into Wufei's, pressing them even more firmly together so that not even the whisper of air could have inserted itself between them.

Letting out an explosive breath, it was Wufei's turn to cry out softly when Duo's hands slid down his body, molding to every inch of flesh they came across, before curving around his backside. Two sets of eyes widened at the contact, both from the sensation and the fact that Wufei's rear end was as well muscled as the rest of him.

Here, tangled in the threads of silvery moonlight, Wufei thought that Duo had never looked more beautiful. Lips were parted in silent acquiescence, face flushed with the passion that had only just taken them in its grips, and his eyes were bright with the inner fire that only Duo could possess. Reaching down, Wufei took one of Duo's hands in his, tangling their fingers. Raising their joined hands, he pressed the inside of Duo's wrist to his lips. Duo's pulse jumped there, and he felt it, beating strong, and fast.

Seeing the surprise flickering in Duo's eyes at the touch, Wufei wondered. Has no one ever romanced you, Duo?

Almond shaped eyes narrowed slightly as he considered what he did know of Duo's past. It was very little, but what he had gleaned from the fragments told him that Duo hadn't had the benefit of a large family such as his. Granted, the traditions of his family often made their interactions stiff and formal, but he at least had somewhere to return to if he wished. Duo, it seemed, had nowhere but here. Was that why he always felt the need to be underfoot? Did he crave human contact that much?

"Wufei?"

He closed his eyes, jaw tensing as warmth pooled in his groin from just having his name spoken aloud, leaving the friction of Duo's body against his very uncomfortable. But it was a welcome discomfort.

"You aren't mad, are you?"

Eyes flew open to regard Duo with some astonishment.

"Mad? If I was mad, you would know it," he added, sounding a bit closer to the Wufei that Duo had grown accustomed to.

"I dunno... the look on your face there..." he trailed off, offering Wufei a slight smile.

"It is nothing," Wufei dismissed, knowing that his thoughts on Duo's past until it was freely offered to him would not be appreciated.

Now that words had intruded, however, he was going to discuss something with Duo. It was important to him to leave every bit of the past behind before moving on. And he could not conceivably see doing that by keeping this from the boy who would become his lover. He knew it would not be easily forgiven otherwise. Duo believed in complete honesty above all else, and Wufei was bound by his love for him, and their friendship, to honor that.

"Yeah?" The other questioned with something closer to his original grin as he tightened his grip on Wufei's hand.

Wufei nodded curtly.

He saw doubt cloud Duo's eyes again and cursed himself for the manners which made perfect sense in the world that he had come from, but never to this open, caring boy.

Wanting to reassure him, the Chinese pilot reached up and brushed hair back from Duo's forehead, fingers gentle and lingering just enough that the other knew it was difficult to touch him without wanting to continue touching him..

"There is something I need to tell you."

Some of his passion cooled at the serious tone of Wufei's voice. Damn him, but he was frightened that the other boy was going to reject him. After touching him like that, after making him feel so complete, after making him feel so cared for. No one had ever made him feel that way before. Sister Helen, Father Maxwell, Solo... they had cared for him in their own separate ways, but never like this, never as Wufei did.

"Hey Wu, you can tell me," he urged, sounding more certain than he was.

Wufei didn't say anything for the longest time, just stared at Duo in a way that made it difficult for the other boy to breathe. And then, slowly, he smiled.

It was the most beautiful thing Duo had ever seen.

Wufei Chang was nice looking when he was scowling, nice looking when he had that carefully blank expression on his face, nice looking period, but Wufei Chang smiling a complete, tooth-filled smile, was stunning.

"Geez, Wu, you really know how to sock a guy in the gut."

Was that really him, sounding like an out of shape dork who had just gotten done climbing 50 flights of stairs?

Somehow, that had been the wrong thing to say.

That beautiful smile faded away to reveal serious, unsmiling Wufei. And worse, he moved away from Duo so that the sudden, unwelcome rush of cold air filling the space where his body had been was like a harsh slap.

"Hey... Wufei?"

Wufei bowed his head, his back to Duo, and forced himself to relax. If Duo would just quit saying his name like that, it would be a much easier task to accomplish.

Straightening, he said with less warmth, his general feelings on discussing this not warm ones to begin with, "Let us sit. Here," he added, indicating to the two chairs nearest the edge of the balcony with an impatient jerk of his hand.

Duo swallowed a groan. Further separation...

Rushing past Wufei as fast as his limp would allow, he threw himself into the nearest chair, legs sprawling out in front of him to take pressure from his knee.

"Okay, ready!" Duo informed him, flashing Wufei a grin.

The corners of Wufei's mouth tightened. Duo's mask was back in place. But for now, it could not be helped.

Gingerly lowering himself into the chair, he settled his arms on either rest and stared out into the darkness.

Duo had almost given up on Wufei even speaking, and had begun to squirm in his seat, both from having to sit still for so long and because he was worried about what the other was going to say, when Wufei's voice came, quiet and even more composed than usual.

"I was married."

Silence. Wufei was almost afraid to look over at Duo, but he forced himself, not quite certain what he was expecting to see.

Wufei had been married? Anti-social, likes-his-privacy Wufei had been married? Somehow, that just didn't compute. And for some ridiculous reason he didn't want to fully explore, Duo felt a surge of jealousy and no small amount of hurt.

But it wasn't like he and Wufei had been close before. The Chinese pilot had always kept to himself, and even when he was bugging him, Duo hadn't gotten much out of him.

Some of that must have shown on his face, because Wufei's mouth tightened at the corners again in the way that it did when he was displeased.

"Married? When?" Duo finally managed to choke out.

All traces of what they had shared only moments before was fast fading, and Wufei's hands tightened convulsively on the arm rests. He had known that it would be this way. It was why he hadn't wanted to speak of it. But he had too much respect for Duo to keep it from him, and he cared too much to ever lie.

"When I was 14. It was an arranged marriage."

Duo was by nature an empath, and because of his own feelings for Wufei, he was even more sensitive to the Chinese boy's shifts in mood. Whatever Wufei may be thinking now, Duo could tell he was very uncomfortable with discussing this. The problem was, he had no way of knowing exactly why. It could have been because she meant a lot to him...

"What... happened? How come you aren't still married?"

"She died." Wufei replied, matter of fact.

Duo sat back. "Hey, Wu, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"Don't apologize. It was my choice to tell you this."

Now was the opening he needed.

"Why did you tell me?"

Wufei's eyes settled on him completely then, his expression grave.

Duo blinked under the weight of the stare.

"Do you really need to ask me that, Duo?"

Duo was too busy getting over the shock of having Wufei call him by his first name to form a coherent reply. But when it penetrated, he realized how Wufei had taken his words.

"No, Wufei," he answered softly. "I wanted to hear you say it."

Dark eyes never left his. They held his own prisoner with their strength.

"Because I thought you deserved to hear it before we made love."

Now he felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

"Oh..." was all he could manage, perfectly aware that he sounded like a moron.

Wufei smiled suddenly, catching him off guard, and sending him completely reeling. He had severely underestimated this quiet, studious pilot of Nataku.

The smile faded again, and he looked away. "I didn't love her. Not in the way a husband should his wife. She and I disagreed on many things. She was a warrior, and... she thought I was weak for avoiding fighting. She died defending the colony from OZ. So I..."

"Took her place."

Wufei's head jerked around. "Yes. I wanted to bring her justice and honor her memory."

Duo's smile was slightly bitter. "You only had to remember her to honor her memory, Wufei."

Wufei turned away again.

"Sorry. I didn't mean..." Duo began, only to fade away into hesitation.

"I know."

They lapsed into a silence that was not entirely comfortable.

"Wufei..."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for telling me."

A hand reached out between them, palm up. With a smile, Duo slid his own into it, slim, pale fingers tangling with strong, bronzed ones.

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