Author: Joosetta
Summary: Duo's talking to Heero, but is Heero awake? And is what Duo has to say for Heero anyway? Maybe everything is just in our imagination.
Warnings: Bit angsty. I call it- "real life is a pain and the author wanted to vent".

Dedicated to Catriona because she's my best friend in the whole world and I love her very much. I know the idea sounded rubbish on the phone- but it turned out ok, didn't it?

In My Imagination

"Heero? Are you awake?"

The cell was lit only by one square window of moonlight. Duo couldn't quite see the other boy's features, they were cast in shadow. Heero was very still.

"Ehhh man, come on, wake up."

Duo hurt. His shoulder hurt from being wrenched back, his wrists hurt, cut by the cheap plastic ties that trapped them. Bruises, scratches, maybe even broken bones from the fight that preceded their capture. He tried not to think about it.

Heero was very, very still.

"Gee, look at you." Duo grumbled eventually, shifting his body weight into a more comfortable position. "All snuggled up against the wall, sleeping like a baby. Not so tough now." It might have been the pain, but his voice dropped on the last sentence, involuntarily softening.

"I know your secret Yuy. Heh, you're just a kid like me- I bet. . ." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "I bet you pick your nose in private! And I bet you have porn on that laptop of yours. I bet- you secretly fancy Une. I bet you collect monster cards or something! I bet-"

He stopped, voice suddenly halfhearted. "Man, you really are asleep, I made it through that without a single death threat. . ." The young pilot's expression was thoughtful in the half light. "I'm sitting here saying the first things that come into my head, saying things I could never ever say to your face. I mean - I could say anything! Anything I wanted to."

There was a long silence.

"What is wrong with you Yuy? You're so cold and nasty it makes me want to slap you sometimes. And other times you're just too. . . fragile. Someone as powerful as you should never be fragile! It shouldn't take one blow to the head to knock you down! You shouldn't ever be hurt!"

Duo tried his best to shrug. It was hard- with the restraints and his aching shoulders. Heero was still. The light picked out little details of his figure, the collar edge of his tanktop and the slice of his collarbone. The eyelashes of one eye. They were far too long and soft looking.

"I get it now!" Duo snorted, but gently, because sudden pain exploded in one of his ribs. "You, Mr. Spandex-boy Yuy, are way too pretty!"

He waited a second to see if that had made an impact, but Heero didn't move. Duo couldn't hear him breathing.

"I mean look at you- with your long dark eyelashes and big blue eyes. There are models all over the colonies who pay big bucks for eye tinting and contacts to get that kinda look! And you have nice long fingers, you know? Really thin but damn- are they strong! Wouldn't mind- just touching them, you know? They wouldn't be soft, but I think. . I think."

Duo cast a long glance at his own hands, over his shoulder. The awkward position made his eyes water.

"I bet you have long toes too. . .I'd like to touch them too- I'd like to touch all of you - you, just fascinate me."

His voice trailed away to a whisper.

"I always liked to touch people- when I was a kid. I would always hug people and stuff, guess that's why I want to touch you so much. You're just- so pretty. Pretty. And you're so strong- I want to know what makes you so strong. Almost like a car engine- I want to take you apart and see what makes you tick. . . heh."

He laughed, at himself.

"And you know - you're not handsome Heero. Not like a charming prince, come to take Relena away on a white horse."

He gave a full snort at that- but regretted it.

"You're a pretty boy! Its funny because you act so strong but you're just so beautiful. And you know all those times where I was smirking as you gave mission orders? Well I confess, I was thinking just how pretty you were, wondering if you put mascara on those lovely eyes of yours!"

Once the sniggers had subsided, Duo had to steady himself against the wave of pain. The corners of the cell bent in upon themselves, fading grey. When it passed Duo could hear ragged breathing he assumed was his own.

"Man I am funny."

Heero was still unconscious, dark face inscrutable, in shadow.

"I thought once," he began again, a little breathless. "I thought that I would find a nice girl somewhere along the line and sweep her away with my wit and charm. The hero of the story always bags a girl too, doesn't he? I thought there would be no problem there, specially when I met Hilde. I never told you about Hilde did I? Gotta do that some day- it's a really funny story. Anyway, turns out there was a problem there. . ."

Heero gave a little shuddering sigh, and more of his face slid into light. He was still unconscious though, eyes closed , calm.

"Damn you." Duo's voice was a little unsteady. "Damn you for being so pretty Yuy, prancing along in those sinfully tight shorts of yours! Making me doubt my sexuality. I don't-"

He drew in a deep breath, it hitched a few times on the way down.

"I don't really believe in that word, sexuality. I don't believe in all the psychobabble and the discovering yourself. I don't believe in gay or straight or wrong or right. In fact I just don't know. What I do know, is that I want to touch you- take you apart, discover everything about you, and not Hilde."

This silence was the longest. Duo even breathed quietly, trying to hear if Heero was doing his sneaky half awake thing. He couldn't hear anything but the grindings and clangings of the prison ship.

"Maybe it's not even sex."

He admitted finally. Duo straightened his long legs as far as they would go, boots making a satisfying metallic thud.

"Looks like they didn't find the toe knives." He spoke in a much lighter voice. "They'll have your guns though- I wonder. . . Could you bite through this plastic with your pretty white teeth?"

Tentatively Duo flexed his wrists in their restraint, just plastic tape secured to a sharp looking wire.

"These Ozzies never learn." Duo mumbled against his shoulder, head tipped back again, awkward. "How many times have we been caught now, me especially. They think the catching is the whole job. They think they don't need to restrain us properly. Beh."

Heero's silent unconscious face seemed to agree.

"Oh my. Here I am sitting in a rusty tin can of a prison ship talking to an unconscious man when I could be doing exciting things. I mean my social life has really gone down the drain since I became a gundam pilot!"

He had learned not to snort, but he gave a little chuckle anyway.

"We could be at one of Relena's do's dancing with pretty ladies, and catching all the gossip. Oh gosh Heero! Look at Relena's dress, isn't it lovely. Shame about the big rip! That's a story to tell your grandchildren. 'When I first met your granny, I was about to kill her and then -' "

Duo paused.

"You won't marry her. . . right?"

Duo imagined Heero's eyes fluttering open. He imagined, the- "Hn. Baka."

Because when he looked properly Heero was still unconscious, and very pale.

"Well I guess, I would get over it anyway- hormones and all that. You're pretty, but I bet there are prettier guys than you. Somewhere. I'll find a doppleganger Heero, same big blue eyes, same scruffy-ass hair, same nasty smile. Except this one- he'll be the Heero I have in my head."

Duo coughed a little, and what tasted like blood rose at the back of his throat. He swallowed roughly.

"The Heero I have here," He inclined his head, causing his tangled and blood soaked braid to slide over his hands. "- Isn't the real Heero. I add things on to the words you say. In my head, you're joking when you say you want to kill me. In my head, you secretly hate Relena, even though you can't kill her. In my head, you- you - you're all kind sometimes, when you save me. You don't find me a pain in the ass. In my head you really do have porn on that laptop of yours."

Heero's slumped figure was a silent accusation.

"It's not lying. Because- its just me. And I can't lie to myself, really."

Heero seemed unconvinced.

"I can't! I really really can't- because really! Do you want to really, really know the truth? huh? No-one does. Makes it hard not to lie, when you know you're denying people the last comfort they will ever have."

Duo closed his eyes, because the light was suddenly a little too pale and harsh.

"That's why never lying is difficult. I wouldn't gain from a lie. . . but others would. You would. You wouldn't want me to say all this stuff when you were awake. You would shut off, punch me or something."

When he opened his eyes, Heero was still unconscious.

"Yeh, you would hit me. And then I would hit you. Its a funny sort of relationship- but I can predict you easy as pie. Guess it is the only relationship I've ever had. You type on your laptop- I annoy you. I get caught - you save me. I hit you - you hit me."

Duo smiled, teeth a white flash.

"I touch you- you touch me? Would it work like that? I wonder. That's something I can't predict- because I'm scared to."

For a moment his eyes narrowed; calculating.

"I think it wouldn't work that way. I think I would touch you and you would run. Then I would have to catch you - and do a better job of restraining you than OZ."

He let loose a short, painful bark of laughter.

"Isn't this fun, all the ifs and I thinks."

His eyes snapped up as Heero stirred. The Japanese boy's lips parted in the moonlight, and Duo heard him almost groan.

"Heero, you awake?"

His question hung in the pause.

"Yes, I'm awake. . ." Heero mumbled, his voice slurred and unsteady.

Eyes opened to vibrant blue slits then snapped right open.

"I was awake the whole time." Heero asserted, voice steady and sure.

"Yeh, I knew you were." Duo spoke gently. Even if Heero had seen his smile in the dark, he wouldn't have recognised it. It was far too tender. Far too understanding.

"Don't know if I was though." He added, wriggling his fingers. They were numb.

"Hn. Baka."

This one wasn't imaginary.


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