Summary: Duo's talking to Heero, but is Heero awake? And is what Duo has
to say for Heero anyway? Maybe everything is just in our imagination.
Warnings: Bit angsty. I call it- "real life is a pain and the author wanted
Dedicated to Catriona because she's my best friend in the whole world
and I love her very much. I know the idea sounded rubbish on the phone-
but it turned out ok, didn't it?
"Heero? Are you awake?"
The cell was lit only by one square window of moonlight. Duo couldn't
quite see the other boy's features, they were cast in shadow. Heero was
"Ehhh man, come on, wake up."
Duo hurt. His shoulder hurt from being wrenched back, his wrists hurt,
cut by the cheap plastic ties that trapped them. Bruises, scratches, maybe
even broken bones from the fight that preceded their capture. He tried
not to think about it.
Heero was very, very still.
"Gee, look at you." Duo grumbled eventually, shifting his body weight
into a more comfortable position. "All snuggled up against the wall, sleeping
like a baby. Not so tough now." It might have been the pain, but his voice
dropped on the last sentence, involuntarily softening.
"I know your secret Yuy. Heh, you're just a kid like me- I bet. . ." He
tilted his head thoughtfully. "I bet you pick your nose in private! And
I bet you have porn on that laptop of yours. I bet- you secretly fancy
Une. I bet you collect monster cards or something! I bet-"
He stopped, voice suddenly halfhearted. "Man, you really are asleep, I
made it through that without a single death threat. . ." The young pilot's
expression was thoughtful in the half light. "I'm sitting here saying
the first things that come into my head, saying things I could never ever
say to your face. I mean - I could say anything! Anything I wanted to."
There was a long silence.
"What is wrong with you Yuy? You're so cold and nasty it makes me want
to slap you sometimes. And other times you're just too. . . fragile. Someone
as powerful as you should never be fragile! It shouldn't take one blow
to the head to knock you down! You shouldn't ever be hurt!"
Duo tried his best to shrug. It was hard- with the restraints and his
aching shoulders. Heero was still. The light picked out little details
of his figure, the collar edge of his tanktop and the slice of his collarbone.
The eyelashes of one eye. They were far too long and soft looking.
"I get it now!" Duo snorted, but gently, because sudden pain exploded
in one of his ribs. "You, Mr. Spandex-boy Yuy, are way too pretty!"
He waited a second to see if that had made an impact, but Heero didn't
move. Duo couldn't hear him breathing.
"I mean look at you- with your long dark eyelashes and big blue eyes.
There are models all over the colonies who pay big bucks for eye tinting
and contacts to get that kinda look! And you have nice long fingers, you
know? Really thin but damn- are they strong! Wouldn't mind- just touching
them, you know? They wouldn't be soft, but I think. . I think."
Duo cast a long glance at his own hands, over his shoulder. The awkward
position made his eyes water.
"I bet you have long toes too. . .I'd like to touch them too- I'd like
to touch all of you - you, just fascinate me."
His voice trailed away to a whisper.
"I always liked to touch people- when I was a kid. I would always hug
people and stuff, guess that's why I want to touch you so much. You're
just- so pretty. Pretty. And you're so strong- I want to know what makes
you so strong. Almost like a car engine- I want to take you apart and
see what makes you tick. . . heh."
He laughed, at himself.
"And you know - you're not handsome Heero. Not like a charming prince,
come to take Relena away on a white horse."
He gave a full snort at that- but regretted it.
"You're a pretty boy! Its funny because you act so strong but you're just
so beautiful. And you know all those times where I was smirking as you
gave mission orders? Well I confess, I was thinking just how pretty you
were, wondering if you put mascara on those lovely eyes of yours!"
Once the sniggers had subsided, Duo had to steady himself against the
wave of pain. The corners of the cell bent in upon themselves, fading
grey. When it passed Duo could hear ragged breathing he assumed was his
"Man I am funny."
Heero was still unconscious, dark face inscrutable, in shadow.
"I thought once," he began again, a little breathless. "I thought that
I would find a nice girl somewhere along the line and sweep her away with
my wit and charm. The hero of the story always bags a girl too, doesn't
he? I thought there would be no problem there, specially when I met Hilde.
I never told you about Hilde did I? Gotta do that some day- it's a really
funny story. Anyway, turns out there was a problem there. . ."
Heero gave a little shuddering sigh, and more of his face slid into light.
He was still unconscious though, eyes closed , calm.
"Damn you." Duo's voice was a little unsteady. "Damn you for being so
pretty Yuy, prancing along in those sinfully tight shorts of yours! Making
me doubt my sexuality. I don't-"
He drew in a deep breath, it hitched a few times on the way down.
"I don't really believe in that word, sexuality. I don't believe in all
the psychobabble and the discovering yourself. I don't believe in gay
or straight or wrong or right. In fact I just don't know. What I do know,
is that I want to touch you- take you apart, discover everything about
you, and not Hilde."
This silence was the longest. Duo even breathed quietly, trying to hear
if Heero was doing his sneaky half awake thing. He couldn't hear anything
but the grindings and clangings of the prison ship.
"Maybe it's not even sex."
He admitted finally. Duo straightened his long legs as far as they would
go, boots making a satisfying metallic thud.
"Looks like they didn't find the toe knives." He spoke in a much lighter
voice. "They'll have your guns though- I wonder. . . Could you bite through
this plastic with your pretty white teeth?"
Tentatively Duo flexed his wrists in their restraint, just plastic tape
secured to a sharp looking wire.
"These Ozzies never learn." Duo mumbled against his shoulder, head tipped
back again, awkward. "How many times have we been caught now, me especially.
They think the catching is the whole job. They think they don't need to
restrain us properly. Beh."
Heero's silent unconscious face seemed to agree.
"Oh my. Here I am sitting in a rusty tin can of a prison ship talking
to an unconscious man when I could be doing exciting things. I mean my
social life has really gone down the drain since I became a gundam pilot!"
He had learned not to snort, but he gave a little chuckle anyway.
"We could be at one of Relena's do's dancing with pretty ladies, and catching
all the gossip. Oh gosh Heero! Look at Relena's dress, isn't it lovely.
Shame about the big rip! That's a story to tell your grandchildren. 'When
I first met your granny, I was about to kill her and then -' "
"You won't marry her. . . right?"
Duo imagined Heero's eyes fluttering open. He imagined, the- "Hn. Baka."
Because when he looked properly Heero was still unconscious, and very
"Well I guess, I would get over it anyway- hormones and all that. You're
pretty, but I bet there are prettier guys than you. Somewhere. I'll find
a doppleganger Heero, same big blue eyes, same scruffy-ass hair, same
nasty smile. Except this one- he'll be the Heero I have in my head."
Duo coughed a little, and what tasted like blood rose at the back of his
throat. He swallowed roughly.
"The Heero I have here," He inclined his head, causing his tangled and
blood soaked braid to slide over his hands. "- Isn't the real Heero. I
add things on to the words you say. In my head, you're joking when you
say you want to kill me. In my head, you secretly hate Relena, even though
you can't kill her. In my head, you- you - you're all kind sometimes,
when you save me. You don't find me a pain in the ass. In my head you
really do have porn on that laptop of yours."
Heero's slumped figure was a silent accusation.
"It's not lying. Because- its just me. And I can't lie to myself, really."
Heero seemed unconvinced.
"I can't! I really really can't- because really! Do you want to really,
really know the truth? huh? No-one does. Makes it hard not to lie, when
you know you're denying people the last comfort they will ever have."
Duo closed his eyes, because the light was suddenly a little too pale
"That's why never lying is difficult. I wouldn't gain from a lie. . .
but others would. You would. You wouldn't want me to say all this stuff
when you were awake. You would shut off, punch me or something."
When he opened his eyes, Heero was still unconscious.
"Yeh, you would hit me. And then I would hit you. Its a funny sort of
relationship- but I can predict you easy as pie. Guess it is the only
relationship I've ever had. You type on your laptop- I annoy you. I get
caught - you save me. I hit you - you hit me."
Duo smiled, teeth a white flash.
"I touch you- you touch me? Would it work like that? I wonder. That's
something I can't predict- because I'm scared to."
For a moment his eyes narrowed; calculating.
"I think it wouldn't work that way. I think I would touch you and you
would run. Then I would have to catch you - and do a better job of restraining
you than OZ."
He let loose a short, painful bark of laughter.
"Isn't this fun, all the ifs and I thinks."
His eyes snapped up as Heero stirred. The Japanese boy's lips parted in
the moonlight, and Duo heard him almost groan.
"Heero, you awake?"
His question hung in the pause.
"Yes, I'm awake. . ." Heero mumbled, his voice slurred and unsteady.
Eyes opened to vibrant blue slits then snapped right open.
"I was awake the whole time." Heero asserted, voice steady and sure.
"Yeh, I knew you were." Duo spoke gently. Even if Heero had seen his smile
in the dark, he wouldn't have recognised it. It was far too tender. Far
"Don't know if I was though." He added, wriggling his fingers. They were
This one wasn't imaginary.
to Singles a - k]