Author: Chibi Hentai-chan
Pairings: 1+2 (hints) 3+4
Category: Excesive Silliness, OOC
Rating: PG
Warnings: No need for warnings, it's only PG, well except that I'm one sick puppy who needs mental help. I'd also like to add that no horses were harmed during the writing of this fic. That and there's no naked Jell-o wrestling, although that might be a fun hentai fic to write. Maybe next time.
Spoilers: I spoil nothing, just wouldn't know how.
Notes: Standard don't own disclaimer appiles. I don't own the boys or Jell-o. In fact I don't even have a box of Jell-o in my cupboard.

The Amazing Jell-O Man

"What is this?" the perfect solider asked as he sat across from his braided partner. They were in yet another high school cafeteria, eating the poor excuse for food that schools supplied their growing students. Since most dishes were tentatively called by names that resembled real food, the mystery dish question was normal. Today, Heero had chosen to question the seemingly solid, although translucent, contents of the small plastic container placed on his tray by the lunch lady.

"It's Jell-O," Duo answered as he shoveled another spoonful of what looked like Mac and Cheese into his mouth. Searching for some sign of recognition in the Japanese boy, which never appeared, Duo chewed the tasteless mass of pasta and cheese that was his lunch. "You've had Jell-O before, right?"

Heero picked up the cup and began to shake it. Even after he stopped moving the dish, the green stuff inside continued it's kinetic motion until all energy had been dissipated. "Interesting. No, I've never seen Jell-O before."

"Well then, you're in for a treat. Jell-O's great. It's like... well it's like nothing that you've ever had before. It's special, unique, something that's as easy to make as coffee. No one can mess up Jell-O, not even school cafeterias. It's one of the safe things."

"But what is it exactly?" Heero asked still examining the dish.

"Gelatin with flavor and color."

"Gelatin... hm... horse hoofs."

"Um, sure. Trust me it's safe. Try some."

Tentatively, Heero took his spoon from the tray and placed it into the green Jell-O. He met a little resistance as it broke through the surface, but once inside the matter broke apart with ease. Managing to get a small fragment on his spoon, after several failed attempts, he placed the prize in his mouth.

The first thing his analytical mind noted was that it melted almost immediately, creating a sugary liquid. Swallowing, he took another lager spoonful and quickly placed it in his mouth. This time it didn't melt as quickly, so he was able to register the texture with his tongue. It was squishy and tasted faintly citrus.

"Hn. Lime."

"Yup. They have all sorts of flavors. So you like?"

"Hn. It's good."



Quatre walked into the kitchen of the safe house, noting that Heero had been in there for a while. He figured the Japanese youth would be typing away on his laptop, so needless to say the little blond was shocked to find bowls and bowls of translucent food covering every surface. They were every color of the rainbow and sitting in the middle of the floor, clad only in his traditional spandex shorts, and coveting a large bowl of the red something, devouring it's contents with a serving spoon, was the perfect solider. "He... Heero what are you doing?"

"Quatre, have you ever had Jell-O?" the young man asked with a manic Maxwell Gleam in his eyes.

"Yes." Then the situation registered in his logical mind. "Heero why did you make all this Jell-O?"

"It's good. Would you like some?" The Arab noted that his friend's lithe form was shaking a little.

"How much have you had?"

"Just a few bowls. Would you like some?"

"Maybe later. I think I need to get Duo." With that the blond rolled his aqua eyes, turned on his heels and left the kitchen. "DUO!!!!!" he cried as soon as the door shut behind him.

Seconds later the American pilot came bounding down the hallway, braid flying behind him. "What's the matter Q-ball?"

"Well, Heero made Jell-O," the Arab said as calmly as possible.

"Really, cool. I thought that he liked it," the brunette replied as a grin spread across his face.

"Go look in the kitchen."

A puzzled look flashed in the cobalt eyes as he moved past Quatre to look in the kitchen door.

"Heero, how much Jell-O have you had?" the American asked his partner.

"Not enough," was the reply he was given, which was followed by a maniacal giggle. The perfect soldier looked like he'd gone zero system from all the sugar. God if this was Heero with a sugar high, then what would it be like for the Japanese youth to consume mass quantities of caffeine? The world would truly be in trouble then.

"Okay." Duo turned from the Jell-O-boy, allowing the door to shut behind him. Placing an arm around his comrade's shoulder the braided pilot said, "Q, I think we're gonna need back up, and lots of it."


"JELLO!!!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!!!" Both boys eyes grew wide with fear, not for their own safety, but anyone else who crossed the teenage terrorist's path before the stimulus wore off.

"Do you think J should have given him sugar when he was younger?" The young empath asked.

"It might have helped. You go get back up, I'll take care of Jell-O-man in there."

"Sounds like a plan." Actually it sounded like a bad plan, but Quatre didn't really want to say anything about that. The only thing they needed was an overly sugared Duo, too.


Duo stepped into the kitchen, looking at the wild Jell-O-boy sitting like a native in the middle of their nice, clean kitchen.

"Duo, would you like some Jell-O?" the wild child asked when he noted the other's presence.

"Sure, Hee-chan. I'd like some."

"Grab a spoon and a bowl. There's lots."

"There sure is," Duo responded as he retrieved the stated items, before seating himself next to the Perfectly sugared solider. "Heero where's you're shirt?"

"Over there," Heero said pointing to the corner next to the stove. "It got too hot while I was cooking. You were right, Jell-O's easy to make." The normally stoic pilot was really talkative with several bowls of desert in his system.

"Yeah it is. That's probably why there's so many variations on the recipe."

"Like what?"

"Well, like adding fruit or whipped cream. There's molds you can make. Jell-O can be a finger food or a centerpiece. It's like the all-purpose food."

"Hn." Silence fell over the room while to two boys ate. It was a nice silence, the kind that two people with a mutual understanding can have; unfortunately Duo wasn't one of those people who liked quiet.

"So you really like Jell-O?"


"I'm surprised. Didn't think you'd take to it like this," the cobalt-eyed one said, motioning to the bowls around the room.

"I wanted to try them all."

"Oh, makes sense. So which one do you like the most?"

"Um... peach."

"Hm, I would have thought you'd be a strawberry-banana type of guy."

"It was okay, but I liked the peach. It kind of reminded me of you." Heero's eyes widened when he realized what he'd just said.

"Nani?" the American youth asked, boring his widening eyes onto the short-haired boy.

"Um... nothing." Heero replied turning away. God, he needed to stop the sugar rush thing. It was making him say stupid things.

"No, Yuy. You're going to repeat yourself."

"Can't make me."

"Stop acting like a baby and say that again."


"Fine," Duo said garbing a handful of Jell-O with one hand and the waistband of Heero's shorts with the other. "Two can play at that game." With that, he shoved the cool, slimy ooze down the back of Heero's shorts.

"Omae o korosu," Heero cried as he stood up and poured the contents of his half-eaten bowl of Jell-O over Duo's head in one swift action.

"Oh, now it's war, Yuy."


Quatre lead the way to the kitchen, followed by Wufei and Trowa, but the three pilots stopped when they heard the screams and laughter coming from their destination. "I know that leaving Duo and Heero alone wasn't going to be a good thing. I just knew it," Quatre mumbled as he shook his head.

"What has Maxwell gotten himself into this time?" Wufei asked, grimacing at the noise.

"Well, Heero discovered Jell-O," Quatre replied looking back at the other two, "and made twenty bowls of it. When I found him he'd had a few."

"A few bites?" Trowa asked hopefully.

"Bowls," Quatre replied with horror. "Duo was just going to keep him distracted."

"They're going to have to clean up that mess," Wufei said, turning and heading back to his room. "I don't want any part of this."

"Well, maybe it's better that they get this out now, in there, then later," Trowa suggested as he looked at the little blond.

"Maybe, but still... I should have been the one who stayed in there. I was the one who found him?" The Arab let his words trail off as the svelte circus boy lifted him chin up with a few fingers.

"Don't blame yourself. Heero needs to lighten up every once in a while. This is good for him. Duo's the best person for this job."

"Maybe you're right," he said with a little sigh as aqua eyes met green ones. "You're too good to me, you know?"

"No. That'll never happen. Just relax. Don't worry, it'll all be fine," was the soft reply Quatre was given.

"You know, Trowa," the golden-haired boy said with a naughty glint in his wide eyes. "I could use some help relaxing."

"Why Mr. Winner, I do believe you're trying to seduce me... "

"Not at all," Quatre said with a naughty grin as he wrapped his arms around his lover's waist, resting his cheek upon the soft cotton-clad chest. "Unless you want me to."

"Mmmm. I've never complained before."

"No, you haven't, Mr. Barton. But there's always a first time for everything."

"Not with you around, Little One. Never with you."


Duo and Heero lay on the cold linoleum of the kitchen, staring at the white ceiling. Both were sticky from the flying Jell-O, most of which had hit the walls rather then the intended targets. Both boys were exhausted. "So Heero... "


"Was that your first food fight?"


"Did you like it?"


"Was it worth the mess?"


"Cool. Jell-O's pretty cool huh?"


"You can do a lot of cool stuff with it."


"You know, you were more fun when you were on the sugar high."


"Yeah, you talked more."


"So you gonna tell me why you like peach Jell-O?"


"Fine. Maybe I'll get it out of you when you're introduced to Twinkies."


"Yup, if you liked Jell-O, you'll love Twinkies."


"Maybe we should clean this up now?"



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