Author - trowacko
Rating - NC17
Warning - 1x2
Disclaimer - I do not own gundam wing in any way, nor do I make a claim
to. No profit, no harm done.
Note - don't you just hate/love it when someone intrigues you? tempts
you with 'forbidden fruit'? then you're sitting in front of the comp and
*pow* you find yourself... on the dark side *hehe*
The King of Hearts had always been Duo's favorite card. In every deck
he ever picked up, even before counting the cards, he'd check to see if
the Suicide King lay dormant amid the clubs, diamonds, hearts, and spades.
He was the king who ruled over all, the only other entity in his life
that might be construed as a deity. The king was his strength at times;
in the way it seemed more domineering than the other kings in the various
decks Duo'd seen over the years. His face regal, the crown set atop his
head, rightly crowning him as a king. Yet the sword looked as though it
plunged through his head rather than being held upright as with all the
other kings, save the Diamonds.
King, a king so strong, a king thus impaled and alive. Kinda like
The cards slipped from his fingers when he first tried to shuffle them.
He watched in mild annoyance as a few scattered across the dining room
floor. He debated with himself a few moments before hopping off the stool
to retrieve the peasants. He pushed the cards back into the deck and set
himself on top of the stool once more. He shuffled again, the sounds humming
softy in the still air of his kitchen. Cards slipped by his vision in
a blur, Seven of Clubs, Three of Spades, King of Diamonds. The cards mesmerized
him as once a comrade has mesmerized him during the war. Which card, he
wondered, would Heero have picked as his favorite? Another king? Perhaps
the solemn King of Diamonds? With an ax instead of a sword in hand? Both
were imposing figures. The severe look upon its face did match Heero's
too, didn't it? He was the only king looking to the side rather than forward
as with the others. Yes, this king was like no other, though he had overshadowed
Duo's heart only for a short time.
Weapons of war, weapons in the hands of gamblers. Who better to gamble
than a soldier?
You're neither Duo. Who are you kidding? Soldier you became by chance,
not training. Gambler you became by default of playing soldier and thinking
you could love one.
He shook his head, told himself firmly that it couldn't be true. His hands
unsteadily laid out the first row of cards face-down. Once he reached
the end of the first row, he moved back to the beginning and doled out
another row, stopping at the second to last spot to flip a card upright.
No emotion crossed his mind, and his eyes never wavered from his hands
as they deftly moved. He continued dealing cards until he had a spread
of Solitaire in front of him. For a few moments, he regarded the cards
without recognition until lines became numbers, colors blended and fell
apart to show the different shapes.
This moment, this one space in every game, was always the same. It had
started when Heero had walked in on one of his games. Such an innocent
game, merely whittling away the time between missions near the end of
the war. Duo pursed his lips as he thought of the game. A small smile
crossed his lips and he dealt his first three cards. He laid the Two of
Clubs to the Three of Diamonds without hesitation. Pausing, he glanced
opposite to him where once Heero had sat. He started playing his game,
remembering how that first game had started.
Heero had sat on the chair opposite Duo and merely watched. Duo had tried
to concentrate on his game, yet felt as if the heavy gaze fell on himself
rather than the game. It didn't help that he'd given Heero the same treatment
as a distraction before. The best way to hide one's feelings was to seek
cover in the open. At least exposed, they could be easily dismissed. Did
Heero know how the game was played? Did he ever hear the hope in Duo's
voice when he joked "You know you love me"? Heero had never
tried to play the game before, yet here he was, across from Duo, a studious
look upon his stern features.
"You can move the Queen of Spades to the King of Diamonds. It'll
free up the end for the King of Hearts in your hand."
Duo's hand shook abruptly, though he faltered for only a moment. He held
his strength in his hands and now he'd have to give it up. Surely, he
thought harshly to himself, you can operate without relying on a crutch!
Nodding, he made the proposed moves and flipped over three more cards.
He couldn't really make out the shape on the top card of the three he
held, let alone the number. His body flushed warmth throughout his limbs
when Heero reached out and lowered the hand with the cards. Duo's fingertips
turned white beneath the pressure his hand suddenly gave the cards at
Heero's touch. The card curled slightly in the tight grip before Heero's
fingertips dropped to the table after so briefly touching his. Duo felt
his breath tighten, half in fear, half in mad hope. Why he felt such conflicting
emotions at a time like this was beyond him. There was no reason, no motive.
Nonetheless, what's the reason for love?
"Seven of Clubs to the Eight of Hearts."
Voice as deadpan as ever, it finally snapped Duo's state. Heero was making
fun of him, he had to be. Anger made a bid, and Duo leapt on it like a
man drowning. Perhaps he was at that, he reflected as he stood. The cards
fell from his hands, yet he paid them little attention.
"I'm playing Solitaire, Heero. This isn't a team effort." The
thought that he was overreacting crossed his mind, yet he dismissed it.
Before he could make a move to leave, Heero reached up, calmly pulling
the Seven off the top of the pile Duo had made. He played the card and
stood up, holding his hand to Duo. Exasperated, confused, and - in the
dark recesses of his mind - hopeful, Duo reached out and found his hand
snugly wrapped within Heero's own.
Duo's room had been closer to the galley than Heero's and it was to this
room that Heero led him without a word. The door closed with a finality
behind them that Duo wasn't sure he was prepared to digest at the moment
and backed away to the bed. He watched Heero silently walk to the chair
next to his bed. With a grace Duo was sure Heero was blind to in himself,
he sank into the soft chair and sighed. The movements were so liquid that
Duo felt his mouth involuntarily water. His heart fluttered as though
an animal agitated in its cage - fearful, and desperate. A cold, cold
blue glare, long hardened in the frigid depths of combat, fixed on him.
It softened until only Heero looked at him. The soldier Duo had first
became attracted to melted into the boy he'd felt his heart, his mind,
lost to. In that moment, he realized that Heero knew. That he probably
had always known, yet did nothing until now. Duo's mouth opened to probably
invite his own foot into it by asking, but Heero's eyes silenced him.
"Enough games, Duo." One hand stole out to touch the white knuckles
of the hand clutching a tense knee. Duo nearly leapt at the touch despite
his desire to clasp it in his own, to let it travel over his skin as much
as it wanted to. Heat traced the same pattern Heero's fingertips left
behind. Duo watched in awe as Heero slowly moved forward, moving like
a cat; predator to Duo's body and mind.
"Heero," Duo whispered. He snapped his lips shut at the involuntary
lapse of control. Heero didn't seem to mind, or perhaps he hadn't heard.
He half rose from the chair, thumbs caressing the flesh at the inside
of Duo's elbows. Knees weak despite the pounding of his heart that should've
fueled his muscles, Duo sank against Heero. They fell together onto the
chair, Duo's legs easing around Heero's hips. The heat between them built
slowly, a languid dance around their limbs as Duo let his own hands rest
on Heero's shoulders. He felt like he'd been here before with Heero; that
the exploration growing between them had occurred before. His fingers
roamed over hardened muscle through the drab green tank top, teasing beneath
warm flesh beneath.
The memory shook Duo's hands, forced him to drop a card from the three
he'd drawn. He took a moment to pick up the fleeing card, laying the Four
of Diamonds to the Five of Clubs. Once down, he drew three more cards
and another memory from the deck.
His mouth had been open in awe while he touched Heero's warm skin. Heero
had taken advantage of it, kissing him lightly on the bottom lip. Duo
didn't hesitate despite the questions attacking him mercilessly. He deepened
the kiss, held Heero's head closer, and worked his fingers deep into the
surprisingly soft, rumpled hair. How tender Heero's mouth had been. How
easily their tongues slid across the surface of the other's. How hot Heero's
breath had been over his lips. Heero's hands had been confident, yet unsure
in the way he held Duo close, moved enough to allow greater contact. A
mild tremble built in his limbs that Duo immediately noticed. He adjusted
himself above Heero, letting their bodies whisper closer together. Duo
kissed his way down to Heero's chin, lightly raking his teeth over the
smooth skin. Heero moaned at the sensation and leaned back. Duo nuzzled
the base of Heero's neck, his tongue roaming with increasing pressure.
Heero's head fell back and he pulled Duo closer.
Three of Hearts to the Four of Spades
Duo had never been much of a player, yet he knew the game well enough.
Heero, on the other hand, fumbled for purchase. His hands were too rough,
his touch occasionally too soft. Duo pulled back to catch his breath and
look at Heero. He locked gazes with the man he wanted to simply love to
see affection peering out behind a thick cloud of fear. Heero's hands
trembled and he pulled away from Duo's loose embrace.
"Heero," Duo leaned against Heero's shoulder, whispering. His
arms snaked around the soft curve of Heero's neck and he held him close.
Heero let his own arms slowly pull Duo closer, though he made no further
attempts at anything more. "Heero, what's wrong?"
Ten of Clubs to the Jack of Diamonds
Heero said nothing, letting the ensuing silence whisper truth and lies.
He simply sat with Duo on his lap, Duo's legs around his hips, and arms
around his neck. Neither moved for a few long moments. Duo shivered at
the hot puffs of air against his neck. His stomach fluttered when Heero's
tongue started lapping against the exposed flesh of his neck. Heero's
mouth worked its way across his rapidly tingling flesh until his lips
caressed Duo's collarbone. Duo let his head fall back as he drank in the
sensations of lips and teasing tongue.
Queen of Spades to the King of Diamonds
Jack and Ten to the Queen of Spades
flip the next card for the Queen of Diamonds
He could push Heero away. He could demand to know what his true intentions
were. He could get up and walk out the door if he had to. Or he could
melt in a most welcome embrace. He could shudder at the hesitant touch
against his groin. Oh, Duo could melt.
Three more cards, none to lay down
Heero's fingertips traced a firm line across Duo's erection; his lips
traced a wet path across the base of Duo's neck. Duo's head fell back,
and his body arched against Heero's. He held Heero's neck, confident that
his beloved would keep him secure. Or, if Heero couldn't, his love alone
would keep him from falling. His throat hurt in the conflict of wanting
to moan or speak. Love and desire warred with doubt and mad curiosity.
Doubt finally fled along with curiosity, but the madness infected his
desire. Love only stood by to watch as Duo writhed against Heero's body.
His throat finally unlocked and Duo loosed the moan that had been building
behind his lips.
Eight of Hearts to the Nine of Clubs
Heero's motions became more confident after that. His lips grazed against
Duo's, suckling the bottom lip until Duo pressed himself deeper into the
kiss. Duo reached down and pulled insistently on Heero's tank top until
Heero allowed it to be tossed aside. Duo nearly bent himself double when
he kissed down Heero's neck. He worked his way to flick his tongue across
a rapidly hardening nipple while his right hand kneaded the other softly.
Heero's low groan was liquid in the air; something that wanted to be drank.
His free hand snaked its way up to Heero's bottom lip, flicking across
the surface. Heero pulled his fingers into his mouth and sucked on them,
his tongue roving between the sensitive points between Duo's fingers.
The mild shock of feeling nerves he hadn't thought would elicit such a
reaction forced him to inhale sharply and pull away. His lungs yanked
in another painful breath when Heero's fingers danced their way deep into
his trousers. His nerves crackled, threatening to spill over the tenacious
hold he had on his release. He could feel his breath lock in his throat,
trying to inhale and exhale at the same time. Heero leaned forward and
kissed him hard, forcing air back into his lungs with his own breath.
Duo had nearly fallen in his haste of getting out of the troublesome pants
and back on Heero's lap without breaking their kiss.
The cards blurred between reality and memory, a spade melted to Heero's
eyes when he slowly pulled away. The game continued, though it hadn't
been Duo making the rules anymore. He only drew the cards while Heero
played the game.
Mind gone in blind need, Duo could only react. His mouth had warred with
Heero's; their tongues clashed roughly, the flavor between them a taste
of fantasy. Heero moved Duo's wet fingers between his legs, folding Duo's
body as he kissed him. Duo barely felt his fingers flick across his own
entrance before Heero pressed two into his body. The sudden warmth around
his fingers, the feel of being entered tightened the muscles in his belly,
forced his legs to tighten around Heero as he adjusted. His head fell
against Heero's shoulder, and he let Heero pump his own fingers into him.
Slow, quick, shallow, they moved smoothly in and out of him, sending violent
waves of ecstasy throughout his body. Duo could feel his breath tighten
in his chest, his free hand gripping Heero's neck painfully. His erection
slapped against his arm, the brief touches an agony rather than pleasure.
He bit Heero's neck hard enough to cause the other's breath to hiss in
pain, though he barely slowed the movements. Heero released Duo's hand,
moving both his hands around Duo's waist. The air felt good against his
bare skin. Rather than take make Duo stand up, Heero used one hand to
hold Duo steady while he rose high enough to pull his own pants down.
Duo clung to Heero's neck, a smile on his lips as he rested their foreheads
together. He let Heero maneuver him down his body until he felt Heero's
erection prod wetly against his skin. Gently, he eased himself back with
Heero's guidance; their eyes locked intently together while Duo slowly
slid himself on Heero's shaft.
Duo paused, his fingers already around the next three cards he could draw.
He could quit now; he could give up since the last few draws showed he
would probably lose like he usually did. He could walk away like he did
once before... Regardless, he was no quitter. Was he?
Heero's head fell back at being so sweetly sheathed within Duo. His chest
hitched with forced breaths when Duo slowly rolled his hips experimentally.
He wanted to see Heero's eyes again, wanted to see the love he knew was
there before. Duo wanted to be loved and see it while being taken.
"Heero," he murmured as his hands went around Heero's neck.
Heero sat up, and rested his hands against Duo's hips.
"Shh, Duo," Heero whispered back. He wouldn't look Duo in the
eyes, though he moved up to kiss Duo's lips. Duo pulled back, resisting
until he felt Heero roughly grip his erection. The kiss started their
bodies moving, and oh, how they moved. Every adjustment Duo made shifted
Heero within his body, brushing against the bundle of nerves that seemed
connected to his throat, forcing him to moan. The teasing movements weren't
enough, and Duo pushed himself away from Heero only to have Heero pull
him back. They rocked against each other, rode each other slow and hard.
The pain built in his neglected arousal, and Duo sought to attain the
ecstasy he'd felt before being impaled. He rose up, setting himself back
down, and Heero quickly caught on. He leaned slightly back to allow more
room and guided Duo as he slammed himself against Heero's body. Their
kiss broke, and there was only flesh driving into flesh. Love didn't matter
anymore; nothing else mattered to Duo except to achieve love the only
way he knew how right now. He pumped himself onto Heero, his hands clutching
desperately around Heero's neck, pulling free the few hairs unlucky enough
to be in his grip. He looked at the ceiling, at the way it beckoned him
to come closer before he fell back to earth, a piece of heaven he could
The cards fell from his shaking fingers, and Duo's heart fell with them.
They scattered across the floor, each a memory or a damnation. He stared
at the faces of the Kings, the Queens and the Jacks. Their faces looked
back at him as somberly as he felt. Across the floor, his eyes darted,
instinctively searching for his strength. Somewhere beneath the rubble
of those he'd buried, they'd buried him instead. He half-wondered if he
really wanted to sift through the cards for just the one.
Heero's voice had been harsh and raw; a primal cry of need and desire
caught up in a single note that called to Duo. The voice mingled with
the white above him, and Duo released Heero's neck to reach for it. He
could feel his body breaking beneath him; he could feel the pain of Heero's
hands around his waist, guiding them together, harder and faster. It was
up there that Heero's love remained, up above him where he couldn't quite
reach yet. His hands stretched, and his muscles pulled. Below him, he
felt his earth shatter when he spilled himself over Heero's belly. He
cried out as he fell back down, away from heaven's mockery. Beneath him,
Heero groaned, his body spending itself within Duo. Heero pulled him closer,
using one hand to pump the last bit of essence from Duo. They fell together,
though Duo was the only one who had tried to fly. He collapsed against
Heero's chest, his limp flesh still in Heero's grip. The clear scent of
their sweat and lovemaking filled the air with a gentle fragrance that
Duo inhaled deeply. It might have been a taste of love, had Heero not
the look of doubt in his eyes when he pulled away.
Time to put the cards away, Duo thought. His heart was heavier than the
ones splayed across the floor. He hopped off the stool and methodically
scooped them up and piled them together. His hands moved quickly and surely,
folding up his last game of Solitaire. Once all the cards were facing
the same direction, he counted them just to be sure that he'd picked them
all up. Fifty-three. Duo frowned. That was impossible.
Duo nuzzled against Heero's hot neck, his legs re-adjusting to a more
comfortable position. Heero inadvertently moaned at the movement against
his own spent flesh. "Heero," Duo whispered against the other
man's ear. Heero didn't answer. "Why," he persisted, "tell
A gusted sigh expelled from Heero injected Duo with trepidation. Heero
didn't sound exasperated as much as he sounded frustrated. He pulled away
from Duo, pulling their hands together to rest on his chest. His eyes
were clear and focused, though he still had fear in them. His eyes searched
Duo's for the answer even he didn't know. Gently, he kissed Duo's hands
and looked up at him, imploringly. "I don't know, Duo," he tried.
"I don't know." He looked lost for a moment, completely unsure
of himself and his actions. "Can't I try, at least? Can't it just
Duo's eyes closed. He could feel the cold cloak of … betrayal settling
across his shoulders, sinking deeper until it impaled his heart. Heero
didn't really love him then. Perhaps he'd felt that Duo's affections deserved
a reciprocation to appease the boy from a broken heart. Maybe the desire
to simply taste love at least once, even in the middle of a war, had driven
him to seek out any means of affection. Duo could feel his skin crawl
with a film that mocked him in its dinginess. He rolled away from Heero,
falling heavily on the floor. He laid there, the desire to move suddenly
taken away from him in the weariness plaguing his body. Heero started
to sit up.
"Don't touch me," Duo hissed angrily. He could feel stickiness
seep their passion to the cool, indifferent floor. Back to reality when
heaven had called just minutes before. Heero sat still, his face slowly
closing back to the smooth expression he had perfected. Quietly, he pulled
his pants back up. The sound of the zipper sliding home closed the gate
to Duo's emotions as well. Their whole act had been a game after all.
Duo pulled himself upright slowly, ignoring the fake concern in Heero's
eyes. He jerked his pants over his hips and zipped them up. He refused
to look at the other pilot while he made himself somewhat presentable.
Heero never stood up, never said another word. Duo walked out the door.
He'd come back when he was sure Heero had left.
The cards felt warm, having been in his hands until a few minutes ago.
Carefully, Duo turned the deck over and started shuffling through the
cards, trying to see which card infected the deck twice. Colors blurred
once more, shapes barely recognized as he tried to concentrate. It was
so hard though. Not when each offered an image that wasn't its own. Rather
like himself and Heero that day.
It had been an hour, and Duo had finally gotten tired of sitting in his
sticky clothes in the mess hall. He made his way back to his room, wearily
opening the door while undoing his pants at the same time. Heero remained
on the chair, in the same pants, the stain of Duo's essence soaked into
the tank top. Soiled, they matched each other, a pair of Jacks in tainted
robes. Duo shook his head at the hard gleam in Heero's eyes.
"No more games, Heero," he started warily. Heero didn't move
for a few moments. Finally, he stood up and offered Duo a single deck
of cards. One of the decks that Duo had next to his bed.
"No, Duo. No more games," Heero replied as he moved past the
shorter man. He paused at the door, his hand on the doorknob. He didn't
turn around, but Duo could hear him clearly. "Give me an order, and
I can follow it. Tell me to make a speech, and I'll come up with something.
Tell me to say ... I love you, and I could probably do that too. Ask me
why, and I don't know how. Even if someone told me the rules, I wouldn't
break them - I'd break the game instead." Seconds ticked by without
a word from Duo. Heero slipped out the door without a backward glance.
Tired and hurt, Duo had simply gone to the shower to wash away Heero from
his body and his mind. Cleaning his body was easier than ridding himself
of Heero's firm position in his heart. What the hell did he really want,
his mind argued, a storybook profession? His mind whirled crazily until
he finally gave up, frustrated with himself. He didn't know; the same
as Heero, he didn't know.
He never really had a chance to hunt down Heero that day. A battle had
started, the catalyst to the end of the war. The only thing that mattered
was survival and victory. They had all fought with a passion rarely found
outside of war. When it was over days later, the five had only gotten
together once before parting ways. Heero had only stayed a few moments
to make his presence known before he left. No one seemed to know where
he'd vanished. Despondent, Duo concentrated on obtaining work and a place
to live the normal life they never expected to attain.
The rain had been soft against the kitchen window, gently tapping rivers
that became sheets against the glass. A mere week had gone by, yet Duo
had no word from his one-time lover. Today, he only sat with the one thing
Heero had given him - which had been his in the first place, he thought
wryly. A deck of cards with an extra card hidden among the peasants and
Perhaps I should've played this deck before.
Eyes wide in shock, cards fell from Duo's fingers once more as he regarded
the odd man in the deck. He turned it over to check the back with the
back of the few cards still in his hands. The design matched perfectly.
He'd always made it a habit of tossing out the two cards that had no bearing
on the games he played. Or left them behind for someone else to pick up
as Heero had apparently done with this one. He never really thought that
the Joker had a place in most games he played. Perhaps, he thought when
he saw the name of a security company carefully penned beneath the Joker's
somber grin, he'd been playing the wrong games. Sunshine in his heart
when it rained outside, Duo dropped the cards, the odd man still clutched
in his hand. A chance to stop playing the games even he didn't understand.
Forsaking a coat in favor of feeling the blessed coolness, Duo grabbed
his keys. Somewhere in the city stood his last chance to finally play
the Joker in both of them.
*just because it comes from the mind of a wacko, doesn't necessarily mean
[back to Singles l - z]