These characters do not belong to me. They are the property of their respective
Author's note: Okay, this fic has mutated a lot since I first started
it, but I guess it's better than no fic at all.
"I'm so glad that classes
are over for the day!" Hasakawa said bewteen moutfuls of his dinner.
"Busy day?" Shinobu asked calmly.
"Yeah." Hasakawa nodded as he stared across the cafeteria. His
eyes widened and he grinned mischeviously as he caught a glimpse of someone
he had just heard something interesting about this morning. "Hey,
have you all heard about that guy?" Hasakawa said quietly as he leaned
closer to the group and pointed.
"Hey, don't point! He'll see you!" Shun grabbed Hasakawa's hand
"No, what about him?" Mitsuru wasn't really interested in gossip,
but he decided to humor Hasakawa a little.
"He's got a crush."
"Oh?" Shinobu said, nonchalantly glancing up at Hasakawa.
"On his room mate's girlfriend." Hasakawa finished dramatically.
He waited for the others to react, but was surprised when they only nodded
a little and continued eating.
"That's old news, Hasakawa. It happened last week. Everything's fine
now though. It turned out that he actually had a crush on her sister and
now everyone is happy." Shun sighed in exasperation. Her room mate
was always just a little bit behind on some things. He probably hadn't
figured out about Mitsuru and Shinobu yet either. He had known for a while
that they were more than friends and he wondered when they were ever going
to tell anyone.
"I guess that could have been a problem, though - if it had turned
out to be true." Mitsuru added.
"We would never have that problem." Shun said matter of factly.
"What... what do you mean? What's wrong with Mia?" Hasakawa
Shun winced a little. He wasn't really sure how to put it delicately.
"Oh, nothing really. She's just not my type."
"What is your type anyway?" Hasakawa had always wondered.
"Well, I don't know exactly. I haven't really found her yet."
Shun bit his lip and then nodded confidently, "But don't worry. I
will and when I do I'll let you know."
"But it would be a girl right?" Hasakawa said.
"Of course." Shun rolled his eyes and shook his head.
Later that night...
Mitsuru shifted a little in the bed as he struggled to fall asleep. He
could usually fall asleep fairly easily in Shinobu's arms like this, but
there were too many things on his mind tonight. He moved closer to his
room mate and closed his eyes. He could hear the soft sound of Shinobu
breathing and he wondered how he was able to fall asleep so quickly.
Mitsuru's mind kept drifting back to the scene at lunch. When Shun and
Hasakawa were talking about girlfriends, he felt kind of uncomfortable.
He loved Shinobu and Shinobu loved him, but they had never really felt
a need to tell anyone. Now he wondered if they ever could. There were
so many problems that they would have to face and so many things that
they would have to struggle with. Part of him wanted to run and hide from
this prospect, but another part of him wanted to jump up on top of a table
in the cafeteria and shout it to the world. He was not ashamed of the
fact and he didn't really care if anyone else was. He just wanted to know
and get it over with instead of constantly side stepping the issue whenever
it came up in conversation.
He shifted again as he tried to pull the covers a little closer to him.
Could he really handle the truth? What if everything changed? He thought
about Hasakawa and Shun. He had known them so briefly and he didn't really
want to give up that friendship. He felt a knot forming in his throat
as he thought about how alone he could be. What if everyone turned against
him? What if no one said hello to him or even looked kindly in his direction?
They were simple gestures, but ones he had grown accustomed to. What if
Shinobu abandoned him too?
He opened his eyes suddenly as that thought took over and he realized
what it meant. Mitsuru looked over at his sleeping friend and couldn't
imagine a life without him. He sat up slowly as his vision blurred with
tears. He let them fall and tried not to make a sound or disturb Shinobu
as he carefully pulled away from his embrace and sat on the edge of the
bed. He bent his head and stared down at the floor as his shoulders shook
with quiet sobs.
Shinobu opened his eyes slowly. Mitsuru kept moving around and he was
having trouble staying asleep. It seemed like every time he was about
to drift off, Mitsuru would rollover or move the blankets or something
and he would wake up. He wasn't sure what was bothering his room mate,
but it must be something important. He stared at Mitsuru for a few seconds
trying to figure out what was going on.
"Are you trying to keep me awake, Mitsuru? You know we really should
get some sleep."
Shinobu smiled and laughed a little uneasily when he realized that Mitsuru
wasn't responding. He felt a twinge of guilt as Mitsuru leaned forward
and brought his hands up to his face. He couldn't hide the sobs anymore.
Shinobu frowned and closed his eyes. He didn't know what was wrong, but
he felt bad for not realizing it sooner. Misturu had been kind of distant
Shinobu crawled over to the edge of the bed and sat beside his room mate.
He put a hand on his shoulder and leaned closer to him. "What's wrong
Mitsuru?" He said soflty.
Mitsuru looked up at him with haunted violet eyes. They seemed so empty
and the sadness there took Shinobu's breath away. He reached out to touch
Mitsuru's cheek, but his friend pulled away before he could.
"Mitsuru..." Shinobu whispered.
"Its nothing Shinobu. You can go back to sleep." Mitsuru said
bitterly. He stood up and began fishing for clothes to wear in his closet.
Shinobu did the same and stood by the window waiting. He knew where Mitsuru
was going. They always went there when there was something wrong, but
they usually went there together. He couldn't imagine why Mitsuru would
want to go there alone.
Mitsuru glared at Shinobu as he opened the window and stepped back to
allow Mitsuru through. He needed some time to think this through. He told
himself that he didn't want Shinobu there, but he knew that wasn't entirely
true. He stood beside the window and stared at his room mate accusingly
as he tried to figure out what to do next. He felt the knot in his throat
again as he realized that he was pushing Shinobu away. He was trying to
make a reality out of that horrible possibility. He closed his eyes and
looked down at the floor as tears streaked his cheeks again. He clung
to Shinobu as he felt his arms wrap around him. They stood together for
a few moments before heading outside.
It was a warm summer night. The sky was clear and the stars burned brightly
against the black velvet backdrop. Mitsuru and Shinobu sat down near a
tree. This quiet place was like a refuge for them. It wasn't far from
the dorm, but it couldn't be seen easily from anywhere on campus so they
knew they could be alone without worrying about others. Mitsuru took a
deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He knew this was silly. Shinobu
was here with him. He had no reason to be afraid of losing him, but that
emptiness had not left his thoughts yet.
Mitsuru leaned his head on Shinobu's shoulder and closed his eyes. He
took one of Shinobu's hands in his own and whispered an apology. "I'm
sorry, Shinobu. I didn't mean to..." He paused as he felt the tears
welling up again. He fought them back before continuing. "I'm sorry."
Shinobu brought his hand up to Mitsuru's face and gently brushed away
his brown bangs. He looked into those violet eyes and leaned forward to
press his lips against Mitsuru's. It was a gentle kiss, but that was all
that they needed right now.
Mitsuru closed his eyes and sat there after Shinobu pulled away. "Thank
you." Mitsuru whispered softly.
Shinobu looked up at the stars and wondered what had been bothering Mitsuru.
He held him a little closer and closed his eyes. He couldn't imagine ever
living with out Mitsuru. His world would be too empty and lonely without
him. It would be a world without warmth or a sky without stars. "I
love you, Mitsuru." Shinobu whispered.
"I love you, Shinobu."
Shinobu nodded and smiled up at the glowing moon. He ran his fingers through
Mitsuru's hair and wished that this night could last forever.
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