Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me and I am not making any
money off of this so please don't sue me. If anyone wants to post this
fic somewhere please ask me first. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this story.
Then + Part 3
Shinobu sat up with Mitsuru
for several hours watching him breathe, stroking his hair and hoping that
this could all be resolved soon. He knew Shun was right. Mitsuru wasn't
going to let go of this so Shinobu would have to let go of his own fears
and tell Mitsuru the truth. When had this all started? How long have
I loved you Mitsuru? Shinobu smiled when he couldn't imagine a time
when he had not loved him. So why haven't I told you... why have I
put you through this?
Shinobu sighed as insecurity and self-doubt took over, but they melted
away as he glanced at Mitsuru. It doesn't matter to him, he thought suddenly.
He knows everything about me and he still loves me.
Glancing at his alarm clock, Shinobu decided he'd better go to bed. It
was getting late. He leaned over Mitsuru and kissed him on the cheek.
"I'll do it for you Mitsuru. I'd do anything for you." He whispered.
He climbed into the top bunk and fell asleep quickly.
Several hours later, as the sun was beginning to rise, Shinobu woke up
to the sound of Mitsuru's voice. It took him a moment to realize what
was going on.
"No... no... no... please no," he heard Mitsuru repeating over and over.
He climbed down and found Mitsuru asleep, but obviously struggling with
some sort of nightmare. Small beads of sweat had formed on his temples
and forehead and he was clutching the blanket tightly. Shinobu shook him
gently until he opened his eyes. He looked so lost and he was shaking.
Shinobu sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to him.
"It was only a dream Mitsuru... only a dream."
Mitsuru leaned into the embrace and rested his head on Shinobu's shoulder.
His breathing was ragged.
"It was so real." He said breathlessly.
"It's okay... its over now." Shinobu said calmly.
He ran his hand through Mitsuru's soft brown hair and held him closer.
Suddenly, Mitsuru stiffened and pulled away until he was up against the
wall as far from Shinobu as he could get in the small space of the bed.
He glared at Shinobu and said, "Why are you doing this to me?"
"But Mitsuru..." Shinobu pleaded.
"Leave me alone."
Mitsuru threw the covers over his head and buried his face in the pillow.
He half expected Shinobu to pull them off, but instead he felt Shinobu
stand up. He peeked out from under the covers and saw the hurt look on
Shinobu's face as he climbed back up to the top bunk.
The situation worsened over the next few days. Mitsuru and Shinobu either
barely spoke or yelled at one another. It was hard to tell which one would
be next. Hasukawa and Shun worried more and more as they watched the relationship
One afternoon in particular, the four were going to watch a movie in Shinobu
and Mitsuru's room. Shun and Hasukawa came in to find Mitsuru huddled
in the corner.
"Are you okay?" Hasukawa asked hesitantly even though it was obvious that
"Where's Shinobu?" Shun questioned.
"How would I know?" he said bitterly, but Shun could tell he was more
upset than he was letting on. "I haven't seen him all day."
Just then Shinobu stepped into the room and Mitsuru stood up.
"Where have you been?" he said harshly.
Shinobu met his gaze. "Why do you care?"
All signs of anger left Mitsuru's face and were replaced by an aching
sadness. "I just do, okay." He said weakly.
Silence echoed through the room as Hasakawa and Shun glanced from Shinobu
to Mitsuru waiting for someone to say something.
"I don't see any point to this anymore. I don't see any point to anything,"
Mitsuru said finally and stormed out of the room.
Shinobu stared after him, anger still burning his soul, but quickly fading
and turning into fear as he hoped Mitsuru wouldn't do anything stupid.
Hasakawa nudged Shinobu. "Go after him," he said seriously.
Shun looked at him quizzically and said, "Please Shinobu."
Shinobu walked slowly down the hall and past the gates. He didn't have
any idea where Mitsuru could be, but something drew him to the park. There
on a park bench mostly hidden by trees, he saw him. Mitsuru was sitting
bent over with his hands over his face. He was trying desperately to stop
crying, but the tears kept coming. He looked up when he heard footsteps,
but when he saw that it was only Shinobu he turned to face the opposite
Shinobu sat silently for several minutes trying to decide what to do.
It was such a relief just to see that Mitsuru was alright. Well not alright,
but at least he was safe.
"I'm glad I found you." He said turning to Mitsuru.
Mitsuru looked up coldly, "Why do you care whether I live or die?"
Shinobu couldn't help but smile a little Mitsuru really had no
Shinobu said calmly, "I care very much."
Mitsuru sat up and turned towards Shinobu. "Then why do you do this to
me?" The words were meant to sound angry, but his eyes searched for an
Shinobu clasped his hands together in his lap and then shifted his legs
slightly. He lifted a hand to his hair and brushed it out of the way a
couple of times before he seemed to come to a decision. Mitsuru's eyes
widened as he realized that Shinobu was nervous. He hadn't ever seen him
like this before.
"Because I was afraid Mitsuru." He was looking at the ground, but Mitsuru
could hear the emotion behind his words. "I was afraid I didn't deserve
someone like you." Now he looked up and faced Mitsuru sincerely. "I've
loved you for a long time and I don't want to lose you now."
Mitsuru sat in stunned silence for a few seconds. He didn't know what
to do. So many fears and doubts rushed into his thoughts as he fought
to understand the situation. He finally gave in to the only action that
made any sense to him at the moment. He had to get as far away from there
"Oh yeah... well maybe its too late."
He turned and walked away, but not before he saw that Shinobu was crying.
He wanted so badly to stay and comfort him, but he couldn't. This just
didn't make sense.
Hours later Mitsuru stood outside the dorm faced with the irony of the
situation. Now he desperately wanted to see Shinobu, but he was still
afraid that Shinobu wouldn't open the window. The light was on though
so maybe that was a good sign. He hoped he hadn't lost his chance. He
still couldn't believe what he had said to Shinobu in the park and the
image of tears streaking his best friend's cheeks was enough to make him
tremble even more. He tapped softly on the window and waited. He was surprised
to see Hasakawa open the window for him.
"Come in," he said.
Mitsuru climbed inside and paused to take in the scene as Hasukawa closed
the window behind him. Shinobu was sitting on the edge of the bottom bunk
clutching a warm cup of tea. It was obvious that he was upset, but he
was trying not to show it. Shun leaned over and gave him a brief hug before
he took the tea and gestured to Hasakawa that they should leave. The door
closed softly behind them as Mitsuru stood awkwardly in front of Shinobu.
"I'm so sorry Shinobu." He said sincerely, his voice cracking slightly
on his friend's name. He sat beside him on the bed and hung his head in
defeat. Shinobu reached out to him gently.
"No. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I never meant to hurt you."
Mitsuru smiled a little and looked over at his friend. They both leaned
close to one another and embraced.
"I love you, Shinobu."
"I love you too, Mitsuru."
They held each other for several minutes, neither wanting to let go of
the one that meant so much to them. Mitsuru sighed and looked over at
"It was worth all the pain just to get to this moment."
Shinobu leaned over and kissed Mitsuru on the cheek.
"We have a long way to go."
[part 2] [back to fan