Title: Manguanac Attack
Author: girl_starfish
Rating: M for Duo's innuendo, way to go Duo.
Pairings: 1+2, 4+?
Category: Humour/Possibly-but not very likely -- romance.
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing, using the characters without permission and not profiting.

Manguanac Attack + Part 2

The second emergency meeting of the Manguanac Corps came to order with only minimal fuss. What Manguanac would dare delay anything relating to Master Quatre's happiness?

Abdul related his conversation with their beloved and unhappily- single leader to the rest of the Manguanacs. "So," he concluded. "What we must do is clear. It is obvious that the perfect partner for Master Quatre must have been involved in the war -- they will understand Master Quatre's involvement in it."

Many of the Manguanacs were still trying to get their heads round the fact that Master Quatre did not think he was a hero. How could he not?

"And Trowa?"

Rashid smiled. "I'm sure we can think of some way to keep Pilot 03 out of the way while we find Master Quatre a better mate."

The Manguanacs had adjusted to the fact that their leader was homosexual with surprising ease. The reason was quite simple really. Master Quatre could do no wrong, therefore whatever Master Quatre did was right and the Manguanacs would applaud it.

"We should," Abdul said, "invite as many eligible people who've been involved in the war to stay with us. Then we can observe their behaviour towards Master Quatre and decide which one is more likely to be a good match."

The Manguanacs concurred. They split in to two groups, the group that would dissuade Trowa from pursuing Quatre, and the group that would draw up the list of eligible bachelors. Due to Manguanac prejudices, the list was quite short: Wufei Chang, Milliardo Peacecraft (as long as he doesn't try to blow up the earth which would be upsetting to Master Quatre), Heero Yuy (he may already be in a relationship, but no sacrifice is too great for Master Quatre), Duo Maxwell (ditto, and as long as he leaves some hors d'oeuvres for Master Quatre). Securing the invitation of the Gundam pilots was easy. Wufei, Heero and Duo were already staying on Quatre's colony. All it took was a couple of surreptitious visits to their hotel rooms.

-- oOo --

Quatre was working at the desk when the phone rang. "Winner enterprises, Quatre speaking," he said. "Oh, hello Duo." His face brightened at the voice of his friend. "How are you?" He blinked in surprise. "Oh dear. A water leak? Are they doing something about it?" He grimaced. "No, waiting for them to dismantle all the plumbing in the hotel does not sound fun. Of course, you and Heero can stay with me." Quatre smiled again. "You're welcome. See you later."

Poor Duo, Quatre thought as he hung the phone up. Fancy coming back to find your hotel room underwater. He turned back to his work. The phone rang again. "Quatre Winner here -- oh, Wufei." Quatre blinked. "They were? They did what? Did you go to the hotel management?" He held the phone away from his ears as Wufei replied. "Oh dear. Well, if you want you can stay with me. I've got plenty of guest rooms -- no, it's no bother. See you later."

Quatre smiled. He did like catching up with the other pilots. In fact, he was rather glad that Wufei was joining Heero and Duo to come and stay with him, even if it was only because the people in the room next to his were throwing a rather loud party and refusing to alter the volume of their stereo.

He whistled happily as he picked up the folder he was looking at. The phone rang a third time. "Hello, this is Quatre -- really? In Siberia?" Quatre frowned. "What are you doing there?" He shook his head at the response. "Are you sure? That doesn't sound very likely -- well, I'll get someone onto organising you a flight home immediately. Bye!"

Quatre put the phone down and looked at it. How very odd, he thought. After a moment he got up and looked outside his door. There was usually a Manguanac hovering by it.

"Abdul!" Quatre said, spotting him.

"Do you need something, Master Quatre?" Abdul asked.

"I just got a very odd phone-call," Quatre said. "From Trowa. Apparently he's been stranded in Siberia."

"Really?" Abdul asked. "How did that happen?"

"He said he wasn't sure," Quatre answered, "but the last thing he remembers before waking up to find himself on a transport shuttle halfway to Russia was being shot by a Manguanac with a tranquilliser gun."

Abdul shook his head sadly. "I hate to say this about one of your friends, Master Quatre, but it is my opinion that Master Trowa overindulged slightly at your party the other night."

"Oh," said Quatre. "Oh. Well that does make more sense -- would you mind seeing if you can organise him a flight back?"

"At once, Master Quatre!"  Abdul headed down the corridor with a purposeful stride. As soon as he rounded the corner, however, he stopped and dug a cigarette out of his pocket. It would be a long time before a flight was found for Trowa . . .

-- oOo --

Wufei had arrived first.

He'd greeted Master Quatre with due respect, thanked him for his hospitality, and followed as Quatre led him to his room, responding to Quatre's enquiries with polite conversation.

This contrasted favourably with Heero's stony silence, and Duo's casual 'Yo, Q!' when they arrived half an hour late. Furthermore, Wufei was of distinguished birth and respected family. Not to say that the Manguanacs were at all snobby. Perish the thought! But they wanted only the best for Master Quatre and if the best came with a pedigree and a title then so much the better.

By dinner the Manguanacs had a new assignment: the arrangement of a romantic union between the Chinese youth and their adored leader. With that in mind, all the wooden surfaces in the library were polished, fresh flowers put in the priceless Ming vase, the room aired and some atmospheric classical music put on.

Duo, trying to get into the library to get a book was turned away at the door by Rashid who was polishing the doorknobs.

"Can't I just go in and get a book?"

"No one may enter the library."

"But Wufei just went in."

"No he didn't."

"Yes, he did," Duo protested, hands on hips. "I saw him!"

"You must have imagined it," Rashid said. "I was here, polishing the doorknobs and I saw no-one enter."

"Yes you did!" Duo protested. "You opened the door for him!"

Rashid laughed. "What an imagination you have Master Duo."

"I didn't imagine it!" Duo said. "Look inside -- you'll see. Wufei is there."

"Halt!" Rashid barked as Duo put his hand on the door handle. "I said no one is to go into the library!"

"But -- how am I supposed to get a book!" Duo protested.

"What do you need a book for?" Rashid said. "You can just go have wild sex with your boyfriend."

Duo brightened. "Hey, there's a thought."

Rasid breathed a sigh of relief as Pilot 02 left. There was nothing less conducive to a romance than a third party -- which is why the Manguanacs were watching events from the next room. Rashid straightened up as Master Quatre came down the corridor. "Looking for some before bed reading sir?"

"No, I was actually on my way to return Duo's Abba CD -- "

"You must take a look at the shelves. We've been discussing how best to organise them -- whether by author or chronologically."

"Surely you can -- oh, I don't mind taking a look," Quatre said, stepping inside the library. Rashid smirked and returned to polishing the door handle.

Inside Quatre had spotted Wufei. "Good evening Wufei. Have you found something to suit in our library?"

"You have a very fine collection of pre-Victorian literature," Wufei said. "And I've never seen such a finely bound collection of Elizabethan playwrights."

"They were my mother's. She was something of an English scholar -- " Quatre smiled, running a hand over the plays. "I have to say, I do enjoy Shakespeare. He speaks of the futility of war with a trueness that -- oh, sorry, Wufei, I must be boring you."

The Chinese youth's eyes gleamed. "Not at all Quatre. I was a student before I was a Gundam pilot, and I have kept up an interest in literature. It has long been my opinion that -- "

The following conversation absorbed Quatre and Wufei and went over the heads of the thirty eight Manguanacs not keeping a watch on the corridor lest anyone try to find a book. Rashid planned the guest list for the announcement of the engagement, Abdul lit a celebratory cigarette (and got evil looks from his neighbours).

Everything was going perfectly --

"I'm sure it's Bach."

"It's Beethoven. I've played this piece, Wufei."

"The counter-melody is all wrong. It's Bach."

"Only Beethoven would use those chords together. Listen to that -- see?"

"It's Bach!"

Thirty-eight sets of teeth ground together. How dare anyone disagree with Master Quatre!

"Did you hear that?" Quatre said.

"I think the CD has been damaged," Wufei said, frowning at the player.

"That reminds me -- " Quatre picked up Duo's CD. "I should return this. Goodnight, Wufei."

"Goodnight, Quatre."

Wufei resumed his seat in his comfortable armchair, unaware that in the next room, Manguanacs were busy plotting against him.

-- oOo --

Heero disentangled himself from the sticky seats with a satisfied smirk and headed off to shower. There was a sigh from the bed.

"Gee, Duo, how was your day? Why, Heero, thanks for asking. I didn't think you cared."

Duo was somewhat less than totally, completely, one hundred percent happy. Not that he was unhappy. No, far from it. After all, he was young, in good health, and sharing a bed with his long time crush, Heero Yuy -- even if life with said crush was somewhat less than perfect.

I mean, sure, Heero was  anti-social to a fault, and had never expressed an interest in anything other than the mission, whatever the current mission was. He was indifferent to the needs of his fellow human beings, taciturn, abrupt and all that -- but Duo had always thought that he needed someone to show an interest in him and draw him out of his shell. Now, he was beginning to wonder if perhaps that was all there was to Heero.

There was a knock at the door.

With a sigh Duo rolled off the bed, wrapping himself in the sheet as he did so. In this impromptu toga he answered the door. "Oh, hey Quat."

"Duo," Quatre blushed. "I hope I'm not disturbing anything."

"Nah, if you wanted a show you should have come earlier." Duo laughed as Quatre turned a bewildered shade of red.

"I came to return your CD. Thanks, Duo -- "

"No problem, " Duo said, taking the CD. "It's hard to find anyone else who will admit to liking Abba -- Anytime, Q."

Quatre didn't return his smile. "Uh -- Duo -- is there something you want to talk about?"

"Huh?" Duo blinked at him. He had to make a hasty grab as the sheet, ignored, slipped.

"My space-heart tells me that something is troubling you. If you ever want to talk about it -- "

Duo stared at him. "Actually Quatre -- can you give me a minute to toss on some clothes? I might take you up on that."

"Sure." Quatre leaned back against the wall as he waited. A few minutes later Duo appeared in an outfit that made the sheet respectable by comparison, gathering his hair into a hurried plait.

"Sorry -- I forgot most of my clothes are in the dryer," Duo explained.

"Not a problem," Quatre said. "We're at home -- who is going to see?"

Who indeed?

-- oOo --

Rashid looked at the books scattered across the room with a smirk. "Oh dear!" he said. "What are master Quatre's books doing all across the floor?"

"Mmph!"

"And who put that bookcase there?"

"Um, Rashid?" Auda pointed out. "I believe that was Master Wufei."

"Oh?" The bearded Manguanac said. "Now, why would Master Wufei do something like that?"

"Hmm! Owww -- "

"I believe it was when the bookcase fell on him,"

"Mmph!"

The Manguanacs smirked.

"Oh dear," said Abdul. "Master Wufei, are you under that big heavy bookcase?"

"YES! YES I AM UNDER THIS BIG HEAVY BOOKCASE!"

"Oh dear -- I'm sure that isn't healthy."

"NO, IT ISN"T HEALTHY!"

"Perhaps we should inform Master Quatre of this."

"I shall go and find him right away," Abdul said, setting off down the corridor at a nonchalant pace.

-- oOo --

"I don't know -- Am I expecting too much? Maybe it's too early in the relationship -- " Duo sighed. "Then again -- this is Heero -- this may be all I get -- "

"Don't be so pessimistic," Quatre said. "After all, you spent so much time pursuing him -- "

"That's the point! I pursued him! I went after him -- " Duo sighed. "I can't think of anytime Heero has expressed an interest in me -- except of course when he ripped my clothes off and -- "

Quatre thumped him on the back quickly. "That sounds like a great start!"

"It was! Man, that was a good night -- " Duo sighed happily. "I don't think I've ever screamed so loudly -- "

"Well, there you go! The situation isn't a total loss." Quatre said brightly, quickly standing up. "I should go, I have to, um, do something -- "

"Thanks, Q-man," Duo said, giving him a platonic yet grateful hug. "You've made me feel a lot better."

Quatre smiled, and hugged Duo back. "Anytime. That's what friends are for."

As luck, or maybe bad luck, would have it, that was the moment that Abdul rounded the corner and got entirely the wrong impression. And in that instant Duo Maxwell's doom was sealed.

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