Heero's Inbox (cont)

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dead_sexy@Deathsycthe4pres.com

Subject : Re : Great News!

You won't believe our luck -- Relena got herself discharged out of hospital and decided to move in here with us -- she's decided to stay until you come back. As if that wasn't bad enough she moved into Wufei's room saying that because she's a girl it wouldn't be right for her to share with any of us, and since she's a guest we couldn't make her sleep on the couch. I said ‘like hell we couldn't and to be a guest someone has to invite you,' but Quatre elbowed me in the ribs and said we have to be nice to her because she's sick. I said that I always knew she was sick and -- I swear I'm not making this up -- Trowa laughed. It sounded like a cough, but I know a laugh when I hear one. I can't ask Wufei to verify it because he's off on a mission. Bet he'll be thrilled to find Relena in his room when he gets back.

Poor little Quatre is bearing the brunt of all this. He's become incredibly jumpy lately. Practically has a heart attack if you make any loud noises near him. Don't worry, I've thought of something very special to cheer him up.

In the meantime, there has to be something I can do to make Relena stop pestering me.

See ya (soon I hope -- when are you coming back?)

Shinigami.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : Future_Mrs_Yuy@I*luv*Heero.org

Subject : At last I've found you!

Dear Heero,

I'm so happy to finally have your e-mail address! You know, when you went away on this latest mission you totally forgot to give it to me? It must have slipped your mind. Luckily Duo was kind enough to give it to me.

When are you coming back?

The other Gundam pilots politely invited me to stay with them while you're away. I expect you heard I was in hospital? I noticed you didn't have time to send me a card or flowers, so I took the liberty of doing so on your behalf.

I've also organised a romantic dinner for us once you get back. It'll be wonderful. You can finally relax and put the nasty soldier type thing behind you.

Won't that be nice? Or better yet, I can come and visit you. Where are you?

Love and kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Relena.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dead_sexy@Deathscythe4pres.com

Subject : Re : Omae o korusu

Well, come on! I had to do something -- she followed me into a mission for crying out loud!! For one thing, that big pink monstrosity of hers totally blew my cover and two, its very off putting when you're trying to destroy a base, under enemy fire, and all of that and she's insisting that you settle this peacefully. I did what I had to.

We all have to make sacrifices for the mission, right? Besides, I don't exactly have everything peachy over here. Quatre just informed me that as Relena has taken Wufei's room, he'll have to take your bed and room with me.

In preparation, I've gone and found all of my hard rock CDs. I'm sure as hell going to need something to cheer me up, if I'm living in the same room as Chang.

Duo.

--oOo--

To: lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : Future_Mrs_Yuy@I*luv*Heero.org

Subject : Re: At last I've found you.

Oh, Heero, don't be such a tease. I know you're not going to kill me.

I've booked the non-smoking section, does that suit? Would you like me to order you a tux? Duo has offered to help me work out your suit size. He has been very helpful, although I must say I'm concerned about the rest of the pilots. Has Quatre always twitched so much? Trowa is fine although he seems to have developed a rather nasty cough. Wufei has not arrived back from his mission yet, but I'm sure he'll be delighted to learn that I'll be visiting them for a while.

When are you coming back?

Undying love and kisses XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Relena.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : kawaii_blondie@trowa_faniers_anonymous.org

Subject : Things are getting worse.

Heero,

You have got to come back. Things are just getting worse here -- Wufei just got back and was informed by Relena that she's staying in his room. Trowa and Duo are doing what they can to get him out of the onna-induced seizure he's in. Relena isn't helping, she keeps remarking on how she had to rearrange the furniture to make the room comfortable, and telling Wufei not to worry, the new additions she's made make it so much more liveable. I don't know how Wufei is going to react to the flowery curtains.

Heero, can't you cut the mission short? We need you here -- this is an emergency. Not to mention that Duo hasn't stopped acting up one bit. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget waking up to find my room full of ducks. Not to mention the mess afterwards . . . and he's even got to Trowa. You've got to come back.

Yours truly,

Quatre.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dragon-boy@misogynists_unite.net

Subject : Injustice!

Yuy,

I demand you return and remove the pink-obssessed she-devil from my room at once! She is polluting the manly essence of my room with her stuffed animals and girly things. This is an outrage that cannot be permitted.

Furthermore, as you are the only one of us with anything like a restraining influence over Maxwell can you tell him if he calls me ‘Woofie' one more time I will gut him, and I mean that. Quatre seems to have developed a tic, but that's to be expected with that beastly onna permeating the entire house with her evil girl-cooties. Nataku would be appalled.

When do you return?

Chang.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dead_sexy@Deathsycthe4pres.com

Subject : Re : Traitor!

Oh, come on, its not as if I betrayed you to OZ or anything. Just tell her you died or change your e-mail address or something.

G2g -- Quatre's just told Wufei that we're rooming together.

Duo.

--oOo--

To: lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dragon-boy@misogynists_unite.com

Subject : The unspeakable outrage.

Yuy,

This is ridiculous! I can't possibly be expected to room with that braided idiot! He's noisy! He hogs the bathroom! And he keeps borrowing my conditioner! It's like rooming with the onna.

Yuy, return immediately. Mission or no mission, some things just can't be taken.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dead_sexy@Deathscythe4Pres.com

Subject : Told you so.

See? Relena's barricaded herself in Wufei's room, problem solved. Well, yours at least. You know me, I'm a pretty tolerant guy. But if Wufei makes one more disparaging remark, I'm going to get Deathsycthe and stomp on his head.

BTW, has Quatre always had a high caffeine intake?

Duo.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dragon-boy@misogynists_unite.org

Subject : I've had enough.

Yuy,

If you do not return soon I will not be responsible for what happens to Maxwell.

Chang.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : kawaii_blondie@trowa_fanciers_anonymous.org

Subject : Come back! Please!

Heero,

You have to come back. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Duo and Wufei had a massive argument last night. There were thumps and screams coming from their room all night. We haven't seen either one all day. I'm worried that either one or both are dead. Relena keeps on asking me if I'd like to sit down, and whether I don't think I've had too much coffee.

I'm FINE! Or at least I will be once I get some more coffee. We've run out.

I'm going to update Sandrock's arsenal this afternoon to include a nuclear war-head.

Yours truly,

Quatre.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : EvilClown@always_the_quiet_ones.net

Subject : {none}

When are you coming back?

Trowa.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dead_sexy@Deathscythe4Pres.com

Subject : Re : Told you so.

Well! I have got to say my opinion of Wufei has really gone up -- if you know what I mean ^_^;; We're getting along quite well now.

Quatre appears to have had a nervous breakdown, after Rashid took his coffee away from him. The Maguanacs say not to worry, and that after he's worked off his excess aggression he should be fine. With that in mind we've pointed him and Sandrock towards the nearest OZ base and let them play.

I wonder what Wufei's opinion of chocolate sauce is? G2g.

Duo.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : dragon-boy@misogynists_unite.org

Subject : I stand corrected.

I take back what I said about Maxwell. He does have his good qualities.

When do you come back?

Chang.

--oOo--

To : lady-killer@spandexed.net

From : Future_Mrs_Yuy@I*luv*Heero.org

Subject : Naughty Heero!

Dear Heero,

You can't be dead if you were able to e-mail me to say so! Silly, Heero, you are such a tease.

Shall I take it the date is on?

Love forever,

Relena

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

--oOo--

To : Shinigami's_boy-toy@stalked.com

From : rocket_scientist@Mobilesuits'R'Us.com

Subject : Re : Change of e-mail and mission outlines.

Heero,

I note the change of e-mail with interest. What did 02 have to threaten to break?

And as there are no upcoming developments on the OZ front, I suppose your mission can be extended a further week.

J.

-end

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